- Non-Erotic Poetry
- beauty
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Click hereunturned stones
life beneath
organic
mired in health
under water flow
unseen current
nothing like electricity
more brilliant
half sucked candy
smaller but just as delicious
goes from mine to yours
back again inhaled,
like ears reel-in sound^
upper inflection at the end^
if this was audio^
holding, waiting
falling, the opposite
- COMMENTS
This rendering has an almost mystical quality to the way it's worded.
Nicely done ~ pulling the reader in with all your descriptions, then your creating a sound for the reader to imagine as though this were an audio poem.
up take falling to
new
sights down is the up side
held from toes
"I died for beauty but was scarce"
always intrigues me. Something about it, the kind of sideways lines that work so well.
jim :)
make a comment on this poem because "Tracing paper" has already been commented on. This poem is equally grabbing - both in subject and presentation, some lovely imagery. Well done!