Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereThe first line of each stanza is taken from the beginning of the "Form of Solemnization of Matrimony" in the Book of Common Prayer.
"Dearly Beloved".
Such a lovely greeting,
I do like this vicar,
much better than Mr Soames, hopeless he was,
She says it like she means it.
It's good to be Dearly Beloved,
even by a lady vicar
"We are gathered together here".
Well, all the family's here
that's an achievement.
Quarrelsome lot,
I'd expect them all at a funeral,
The dead encourage expectations.
Sorry Lord, shouldn't have thought that.
"In the sight of God"
He'll see a relieved mother,
A confused father,
and a bridesmaid,
already eyeing up the best man, Ben isn't it
Sorry again Lord but she is, really, the hussy,
my granddaughter, in church too, and you are all seeing.
"And in the face of this congregation"
Why was she invited, the bitch
And him too. I bet he's half drunk already.
Still, takes all sorts,
my John looks handsome, like his father, fatter though,
and Angela's so pretty,
but still drooling over that Ben
"To join this man and this Woman"
He looks a bit wet, an accountant,
only child though and a father rolling in cash.
Diane looks lovely, lucky girl, not showing yet,
been around the traps a bit,
she'll settle down.
Hope they 're ok, like me and Jack.
"In Holy Matrimony"
My Jack was holy, a holy terror sometimes,
but he was so lovely, so wanted me,
especially the way he…Oh Lord, sorry again Lord ,
I shouldn't be thinking such things, at my age.
I'll be good and pray, and do something for them.
And after the service I'll introduce Angela to young Ben.
You have a great eye and ear and elude the censor just enough to make music out of a stodgy old moment. I rarely read poetry though the Bard is my secret delight, but you have inspired me to read all of yours. Time yields diamonds and your words. -C
it should end Dearly Happily Bedraggled. TK U MLJ LV NV
This is one of the funniest things I've read in ages! It brought a BIG smile to my face! Thank you for this!
I think this is a wonderful poem. I love it and I'm saving it! Thanks, Ishtat