Help me, please....

I want to take this pain away from her; I need so bad to help her, I cant stand it.

She lays in my arms and cries so heartbreakingly sad, I want to take her pain and have it for myself.
Why does she want to do this?
Why is she laying here in my arms begging me to let her kill herself?

It rips my heart open with every whispered breath she takes. Telling me she needs to die, she cant take it any more, heaven is better than earth. Earth gives her nothing but pain and torment.

I hug her close to me and cry with her. I hold her so close praying her pain will seep into my body, praying I can make this better. Make it go away.
Whispering over and over again how much I love her, how it would crush me is she were to die.

And yet nothing seems to sate her. My words go unheard as she sobs against me.
The heartache and pain I hear in her cry’s makes me want to die with her. My every word seems to be just an empty promise to her. Nothing seems to break the solid wall of pain and despair that she has surrounded herself with.

And so I sit and rock her, like a mother would a distressed child. I hold her close to me, trying to fill her with the love I have for her. My energy draining quickly as I cry for her, for me, and everyone who loves her.

How can people get to this point?
Where everything becomes nothing. Where all they see is an empty grey, misty world that holds no promise.

When she takes a final shuddering breath and falls silently into sleep I lay there with her, I watch her closely, crying silent tears.

I need her to stay with me, I need her to find the strength to live. Every night it ends this way, her holding onto me as if in fear that if she let go she would fall into nothing, an endless darkness.

And so I stay awake, my eyes red and swollen from tears of pain, and finally when the sky starts turning pale yellow with the morning light I drift into uneasy sleep, ready to awaken should she stir or need me at any point.

Please god let me have the strength to carry on helping her, let me have the courage to continue. Let me impart my strength to her, let her find what it is she needs to stay alive.
Because you see, if she dies, I will die. I cannot live without her by my side.