- Non-Erotic Poetry
- I See
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Click hereI see a world forged in havoc and shaped by greed
Colored from an abattoir and textured with broken bone
Peopled with excerpts from an encyclopedia of cowards and boogeymen
Set to spin in a universe not quite willing to abandon its living physics
To commit suicide in an Absolute Zero heat death
And the reality-wide sub-atomic collapse that would provide
Giving sweet Void back its rightful crown
- COMMENTS
it's really powerful with a wonderful flow and interesting language. I'm not sure whether the structure you've chosen is helping or not. My sense is it would be better if it were either more shaped or if some of the individual lines didn't run over (though that, I guess, is a result of the submissions box margins). Either way it's excellent writing. :-)