A Boiled Frog Pt. 01

I didn't see. What she was saying made no sense. I knew none of these people. "What are you talking about? This makes no sense. What does this have to do with Tina?"

"We'll, I kind of gave her to Lisa," she said apologetically. "I know it's a lot to ask but you see..."

I had stopped listening. I sat there in shock. It just didn't compute. She ... gave ... ME... to Lisa. Lisa, the girl I avoided like the plague, she was so intimidating - the girl who hated me and had tried to wreck my wedding and my life.

"Stop," I signaled to her. "Explain what you mean. You GAVE what to Lisa exactly? What is going on?"

At that point the doorbell rang and Julie jumped up and rushed to get it. It showed my state of fog that I didn't jump up and rush to hide. I sat there decked out in my little black dress and stared at the ground. What was going on?

I was brought out of my fog when I heard Lisa's voice. "Oh my gosh, he's perfect," she said. "You weren't lying about how hot he is. Stand up and let me see you."

I looked up and saw the ice queen standing there smiling at me. I had never seen her smile, her face lit up like the sun. And Julie was standing right behind her off to the left just beaming with pride.

I stood up slowly and put my hands on my hips. "Can someone please tell me what is going on?" After I said it, I realized I had responded naturally in my Tina voice.

Lisa's eyes lit up and she ignored my question with an order of her own. "Just perfect," she bubbled. "Turn around for me."

I don't know why but I did it.

"Honey, he is incredible. Thank you so much for this. I don't know how I will ever repay you. Actually I do, I will talk to the board this week. That will land you your partnership for sure."

Lisa grabbed my ass. She actually grabbed it and then slowly turned me around. Then she grabbed my chest. "We can do a little better here." Then she took my chin, lifted it up and looked into my eyes. I stood there and didn't say a word. I had forgotten how to speak.

She let go of me and turned and hugged Julie, before noticing the lasagna on the table. She then said, "Sorry to interrupt your dinner, I will let myself out. We will get together tomorrow for lunch, Jules, to work out the details." Turning to me, "I will see your sexy ass Thursday."

I watched her go before looking at my wife who was smiling at me. "What just happened?" I asked, dreading the response.

I sat there in a daze as she explained it to me twice. Here is the gist.

Lisa had a wedding to go to back in Las Vegas where she was going to be a bridesmaid. The wedding was between her cousin, a guy named Brian, and her ex-girlfriend, named Robin. Lisa and Robin had been dating exclusively since medical school and were pretty much considered married although they had never taken vows. Then, on a family summer lake trip this year to Lake Tahoe, Lisa had to leave early for a surgery. Robin decided to stay and ended up hooking up with Brian. He impregnated her, decided he loved her and asked her to marry him. She miscarried after a couple months, but already had dumped Lisa and said yes. And despite Robin not being pregnant, they decided to go forward with the marriage. Because Brian's and Lisa's parents were siblings, business partners and really close, Lisa's parents said she had to come. Lisa did not want to go alone, and so that Julie would not have to pose as her date and announce our marriage was over, I had been elected.

The enormity of the situation was daunting. I was to pose as a girl for a whole weekend, without Julie to back me up. I wasn't ready for this. I went out for the first time alone today. Then I had to be around Lisa, who petrified me. Not only be around her, but pretend to be dating her. What would that entail? Plus, I had to go to a wedding and I hated weddings and all the hoopla that went with them. I didn't even like parties.

"I can't do this, Julie. I just can't."

"Sure you can baby. You pass. You look like a very sexy girl. No one will question it. I see you sometimes and I don't even believe you are a guy anymore. I have to remind myself. "

"But Lisa, she's daunting," I said. "I am so nervous around her. I don't want to go. I can't deal with her, not without you there."

"Do it for me, baby? I want you to do this. This should get Lisa off my back and get me my promotion all in one fell swoop. It's a win-win. It's only one weekend. You can handle it for me, can't you?"

As always, I live to please my wife. I mean look at me, I did all this for her. I nodded. Little did I know what I was in for.