All Comments on 'A Genie for Frank Ch. 01'
by desirelit
- 18 Comments
An unusual twist that was thought out, written, and presented. Keep going.
It's a nice twist on an old story. I can see from the dates on previous work that you've been away from posting. Nice to have you back, don't stop now.
Great story and good job D. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Why do your call Frank a failure in your description? He seems to a have a lovely wife, a home and children. I assume, that to pay for it he must have some kind of job that pays enough to afford his life.
Maybe I wouldn't call him successful, but by your measurement alot of people are failures.
Lucky man!!! He has a faithful, so far, loving wife. A beautiful, horny, faithful genie too!!!
I agree with the other reviewers. This is an excellent story. The pacing is tight and even. Hints of an expanding sexual tableau in the near future are dropped along the way on a time release plotting. Perfectly executed and I hope other writers on this site are paying attention.
This is how its done.
Keep 'em coming!
Excellent story. It is a little hard for me to think of Frank as a nobody, or a regular Joe who deserves a better life, when his life is so much better than mine at the beginning of the story, and so much better than so many people I know. He has a wife, kids, a house, a job that seems to pay the bills well enough that he can support all of this. Yeah, he isn't a rich CEO or anything, but he isn't a failure. He's doing better than more than two-thirds of people in the country right now, both economically, and in his personal relationships. I kind of worry that you yourself have a happy, successful life, by these measures, but because of undiagnosed depression or because something deep inside you is not being fulfilled, but if so, you need to take measure of what you do got, and maybe talk to someone.
Now if Frank was recovering from a divorce, or was stressed because he was deep in debt, and was about to lose the house and didn't know how to tell his wife, or if he had a past that was threatening to take away his present, then you would have some level of drama that would make Frank's situation more compelling.
It is still a good story, but you have a story about a guy with a nice life who suddenly gets a better life. The best stories are either about people with nothing getting a great award, or people who had everything and lose it.
Excellent points. I’m happy to report my life is good, like maybe I realized there was some magic I hadn’t known about. Thanks for reading and commenting.
I liked how you wrote your version of a djinn not necessarily wanting to corrupt wishes. Shades of Scheherazade. I gave you 4/5 for this particular chapter. You should have stuck with "well endowed" instead of the old worn out "biggest dick in history" trope. I almost quit reading once you went there.
Focus more on Aima falling in love with him because he is a good man. That's what keeps me interested.
This is undoubtedly my kind of genie tale. I love the armband instead of the lamp which has been done to death. I kiss it is part of the mythology but if nothing gets changed then a story can never update and grow plus it is just a cool twist especially when she threw her clothes at it and they turned to smoke and went in the armband. Usually these stories are about some down on their luck or massively depressed person which is all fine and good but I see no reason why an everyday middle class working man with seemingly sound judgement, good morals and a loving family ends up with a boon for a change. I have so much respect for someone who would rather free a genie than continue his/her/their enslavement like every else does and then use her until she is no longer your problem. I get the draw and I understand most people are greedy, some more than others but to give it all away like that shows some serious character and Aima did say that it looks for someone worthy even though she never mentioned what was considered worthy. If this continues to be so well thought out and exceedingly well written then I could see this being one of the five star stories that I shall be coming back to time and again to read. It puts me in such a wonderful mood along with making me somewhat emotional which to me is the mark of a real author. Most people can think up a story, whether it’s good or not is anyone’s opinion but if you can write something that keeps you pinned to the page while eliciting deep, real emotions is so rare that it is what shows the true serious authors from the story writers. Don’t get me wrong, both give something to the masses and generally entertain people but the author takes the reader much deeper and allows them to feel things that make them do more than just stare at a page. Thanks so much for putting all this into your works and posting it for everyone to consume and hopefully enjoy.
Be well and stay safe.
J.D.
Finally got around to reading this story. I hope the author is still active. on here. I love this story. I love how he basically gets his wishes fulfilled not by the tired old deal found in ancient lore, but because of his sacrifice in rejecting the ultimate temptation. By the free will given to her guilelessly by him.
As for drama, I have no problem without inventing dangers and threats to raise the tension in an erotic story. In fact, I don't like drama in the ones I read. I don't want anything standing in the way or threatening to spoil my fun.
Screw that.
Keep up the good work.
Five stars from me