All Comments on 'An Old Trope with a Different Twist'
by PickFiction
- 23 Comments
Hark, hark! the lark at heaven's gate sings. Not for Mick the Prick but for Alexander, the Perfect Man. Very nice.
Wonderful story! My only quibble is that a low country boil is not Cajun though they share many of the same ingredients. Generally speaking, shrimp, crawfish and crabs are not cooked together though the cooking liquid is the same. My late wife was a great Cajun cook.
5
I know some lose threads are unavoidable, but feels like the whole Mick thing was left in a very messy place. Is this getting a sequel?
I love love stories featuring young people trying to find their way. This was very well done. Thank you.
5 Stars.
I liked it . One minor point though. A Ski-doo is for snow and a Sea-doo is for water.
This story needs another part, she hasn’t truly dealt with Mike and the resentment he will have against both Alex and her. I would like you to tell us about the surprises. It’s a 5, excellent storyline and writing. I agree with the seadoo comment below.
I almost always give you a 5, but not this time. You need to finish the story and then I’ll go back and upgrade my score. You set up the whole Mick and him being at odds most of their lives and now he’s stolen his girlfriend “back” and we get dropped off with that? No way! LOL! 4.4* for now!
Ski-Doos are snowmobiles. Sea-Doos are jet skis. Both are made by Bombarier or BRP. Sometimes the details do matter.
There were a few times when the switched point of view was jumbled. I’m not opposed to this idea but you need to make absolutely sure you have the right person talking and the right names.
Agree with the others about the unresolved issue with the cousin.
A bit of sweet. 5 & fave, because it's after dinner and my sweet tooth was making itself known.
A nice story but too many loose ends. War was going to be the reactions when she broke up with Mick? There's Mick, Caroline and Alex's parents as well as her own parents to consider. Pleased they got together again which made it a fitting romance.
5* from me, again! I’m not worried about loose ends here. I’m sure that Mick won’t change, and he’ll be out of their lives after some unpleasantness. Caroline might come down either way, but I bet she’ll remain a friend. I’m quite sure Alex’s parents will be very happy for him. It’s a good thing for an author to let the reader extrapolate a few details. It shows respect for the reader. Of course, if you want to write more, you can fill in the blanks however you want, right?
There are some details that got mixed up here. Other commenters have raised some, and there are a couple more, but that’s OK, too. Thank you for writing and thank you for sharing your work.
Very nice, on the whole. I liked it a lot. A few comments, though:
1. Sometimes the dialogue seemed to get confused. Sometimes I wasn't sure whether the problem was me or the writing (meaning I didn't go back and reread carefully to figure it out). Sometimes the problem was in the quotation marks, missing or added or misplaced--and I REALLY wish you'd pay more attention to that! Adding a few more speech rosa-blanca.ru would help, too.
.
2. I see the old trope here, but not really the different twist. That's not really a complaint, except about the choice of title.
.
3. The initial feelings, on both sides, about dating etc. seemed overdone. That's in terms of the background, not your use of it! Except that Lark, with those feelings, then more or less instantly jumps from "Mick is sure cute" to going after him?
.
4. Finally, a (true) story. (At least, this was on the "features" page, and done for entertainment, but I have no reason to doubt the basic truth here.) This relates to Lark's name and her repeated comment on why "Lark". Way back in the 1970s (or maybe '80s), I read a column in our semi-local newspaper. The author's name was Robin, and on this occasion she recounted an encounter some time earlier, when she was a waitress. A male customer looked at her name tag and said, "Your name is Robin? And do you have red breasts?" She went on, "This was just before I accidentally spilled a pot of hot coffee in his lap." "Lark" is a much better choice, isn't it?--except that it suggests carefree. Ah well.
.
I enjoy a good romance, and this was one. Thank you!
I knew, of course, how this would turn out as soon as Lark was attracted to Mick. It had to turn around so that the basic values of both lark and Alex were satisfied. I always find it amazing that we, the readers, find it imperative that these "children of 20 - 22 should have the sense and the maturity to make good, adult decisions. And we're gratified when then do and that makes us relieved that they met our adult expectations. I made decisions a lot worse than they almost did at a more advanced age. So we sit on the sidelines and chant silently for Lark to get her head out of her ass and go back to Alex and when she does we feel much better. The fact is that many of the young people of today and putting off these decisions until they're into their 30's in the name of "getting established in adult life" or some such BS. I must say that although these two made a better decision when they got together, there's nothing to say that with a little world experience under their belts they won't end up in divorce court like half the population does. Still: 5* for a good read.