All Comments on 'Aunt Kath & I'

The whole diary, step by step thing, could have been fantastic, but for the fact that the english and grammar are a bit off and that it lacks any emotion.

Maybe someone could edit for you and give you some input, because the kernel of the story is really pretty hot. It's just let down by the fact that you seemed to be racing to the finish. Take your time, give us background, describe the surroundings, smells, sounds, the emotions you felt (if it is partially true), this should be rewitten or at least followed up with a sequel, what happened next. Did you all get it on again?

Have a think about it, because it really would be a cracker if you sorted it out.

I liked it, but you should work with an editor to clean up your dialogue. You should try reading it out loud to hear how it sounds. Everything else (save some spelling mistakes the spell checker missed) was good. Keep writing.

If it hadn't been written by someone try to emulate a robot.

You keep slipping back and forth between present and past tenses. Usually it is better to use past tense and stay in it. Volunteer editors are available; I recommend you use one to sharpen your writing and make the most of a potentially good story.

I thank you all for your comments.

Being dyslexic I may have problems with grammar...and "Word" spell check is robotic and leave a lot to be desired.

Sorry I can not write and speak USA, for I am not of that race. Far more cultured.

But my stories have a large amount of truth...they are. Not just fantasy crap!

Bigman2

Wasn't bad what spoilt it was the robotic dialogue, no pasion no life just robotic. I understand that your dyslexic & I assume that english isn't your native tounge. Use a editor that can take your ideas & put them together & you'll have 100% every time.

the ending was a mood killer.... but that may just be because its just not my type of thing

Aunt being shared stays in family she must get shared alot most likely got knocked up