by cwcw99
See how good a story can be without the sophomoric and gratuitous sex? Some of the hacks in Loving Wives should take notes. 5☆
I thought it ironic and telling that your MC could legally acquire a gun for self defense only because of his connections and elite status. The average citizen in these gun phobic governments is considered unqualified and unworthy to protect themselves and their families, while living in some of the most dangerous crime infested cities in America. Amazing how privilege and arrogance can lead to such inequity.
Thanks was enjoyable. Only uneducated advice is to work on smoothing out your story telling.
A few comments as I can contact you without signing up.
"We don't do petty aunty blackmail jobs." It's actually "penny ante" where a card game disallows bets of penny increments.
"Passed my background check" won't happen with a Dishonorable Discharge - it's the military equivalent of a Felony Conviction.
A "Bad Conduct Discharge" a/k/a BCD or "Big Chicken Dinner" is unlikely to prevent firearm possession long-term.
"Other-than-Honorable" also known as a General Discharge is even less problematic.
*****Very entertaining read with all the good stuff. Looking forward to reading more BA HAMMER STORIES. Thanks for sharing.