Behind The Window - Taylor's Story

Through her tears, Taylor sat on the porch and watched Ian drive away. A day that began with such promise, may have just ended with heartbreak because she played it all wrong. If she hadn't invited him over, she would have at least had the memory of their first date in the park today. Sweet and romantic the way first dates should be. She made it worse with that kiss; God, that kiss was wonderful, but it was salt in the wound now, probably for both of them. Did that perfect kiss make him resent her more because of the news she delivered soon after, or would the memory of it make him realize that he wanted to be with her that much more? She knew the news should have come before the kiss, but then it may never have happened.

When she said goodbye to Ian, she just told him to go off and think about the secret she'd just divulged. Ponder his future with the girl who "had a dick."

Ian's words had stung, and then for an instant, Taylor feared for her life. She misread his expression, and the movement of his hand so horribly, that she attacked prematurely. She would never be hurt like that. She wouldn't be another sad statistic.

The look on Ian's face when he realized she was terrified of him would never fade. She'd just assaulted him, and when he fell backward he hit his head hard on the rail, but all he was concerned with was that for a moment, she feared him, and mistakenly thought he would hurt her. He cried and promised he was not that kind of person. She knew it was sincere and that gave her hope; he was a good person, she was sure of it. Could he really accept her though?

She needed someone to love her. Her friends inside the house promised she'd find it. "You're a good person, gorgeous, creative, and with so much to share." They said all the right things. Maybe that's why she took the bold step of kissing Ian today, and now this. She shouldn't have bought into their false hope.

Taylor opened the front door, the brightness of the foyer light burned her still wet eyes. The coast was clear, she shut the door behind her and bolted for the hallway toward her bedroom. Her friends would want to know how it went with Ian. They could wait until morning.

She turned the small bedside lamp on, and stepped in front of the mirror. Her eyes were swollen, and her makeup cried away. Was she pretty, still?

She undid her outfit and stepped out of it. This little burgundy dress was a hit with everyone tonight. She had gotten so many compliments. Her friend Emma called her, "catch your breath beautiful," and Ian's knees suddenly looked weak when she came out of the house to greet him.

She scrutinized her body. The black boy-short undies showed off her round bottom nicely, and she was neatly tucked so the front of the panties looked as natural as any cis-girl. She slipped them down to the floor, and stared at it. She didn't want this to prevent her from being happy. Taylor stood nude in the mirror. "Beautiful girl," It was her friend Marisol's voice in her head, and Taylor tried to see herself through her eyes. In the mirror she saw silken skin, a little curve to her body, and breasts that were tiny, but pretty, and so sensitive from the hormones. She was proud of who she was. The organ, her clit as she preferred to think of it, was not going to define her.

She reached into her dresser drawer for another nightie t-shirt. She found the oversized tour shirt. Lorde, the singer, lots of people told her she looked like, graced the front. It was a painting of her laying on the bed, beautiful in shades of blues, white, black and red. She pulled the shirt on. It came to mid thigh, low enough to cover her bottom and her sex. She focused on the painting on her chest, and felt prettier with Lorde there.

She tried to sleep but it never came. It was almost two in the morning. She was frustrated and now she was thirsty. The house she and her four friends rented was now dark, and as she entered the kitchen, she heard the hum of the spa jets out on the deck. Marisol, Emma, Tim and Justin were in the jacuzzi. Her curiosity was piqued.

Taylor stood at the window in the dark kitchen. Outside on the deck, the lights were out, but the flicker of a few of the tiki torches on the deck rail illuminated the jacuzzi. The yard had complete privacy, so the jacuzzi occupants weren't visible to any of the neighbors, only her.

They were in there, all four of them, in the center of the rising steam, orange-hued from the torches. Mari and Emma were laying together in the lounge seat along the front of the jacuzzi, with Emma's back and head laying against Mari's chest. Mari's arm rested on the tub's edge, and she held a full wine glass in her hand. Their bodies were submerged completely under the bubbles, so Taylor couldn't tell if they still had their bathing suits on. The jets along the lounge were strong, and Taylor imagined how arousing it must be to lay romantically together with that force of hot water rushing up against them. On the other side of the tub, Tim sat with his back to Taylor's view from the window. He was facing the girls. Justin knelt down in the well of the tub between Tim's open legs resting against him, also watching the girls. Taylor noticed the defined swimmer's muscles of Tim's back, He was built just like Ian. The image of her four friends, all beautiful, inflamed her imagination.

Taylor felt sad. She wanted to be out there with someone of her own to lay against in the churning hot water. She was about to turn away from the window, but froze when Mari leaned forward slightly and lifted her glass to Emma's lips. Her girlfriend looked surprised for a moment, but took the wine into her mouth, then tilted her head back to find Mari's face leaning down to meet her. Their mouths locked passionately sharing a wine-filled kiss. As Emma rose out of the water, Taylor gasped when saw her bare breasts floating on the surface. Mari's bikini straps were nowhere to be found on her dark shoulders; they were nude together, while sharing the tub with Justin and Tim. When Taylor saw their tongues join in each other's mouths, arousal washed over her body.

Inspired by the view, Tim's arms wrapped around Justin from behind, and started playing with his lover's smooth chest. Justin's legs extended out toward the girls. He was still in his bathing suit, but he was visibly hard inside them. Taylor's breath caught in her throat when Justin reached around, grabbed Tim by the back of the neck, and pulled him down toward his mouth. Both couples were now deep kissing on the other side of the window, in front of her.

Taylor drank in the sensuality of it all. She'd never seen Mari and Emma make love. She'd heard their intimacy before, and it always left her feeling ashamed...and so very aroused. Taylor and Mari had never been lovers, but they were best friends. Emma was new to their circle. Although she was Mari's girlfriend, Emma sometimes flirted with Taylor without crossing any lines that would hurt Mari. That flirting did some amazing things to combat the lingering dysphoria Taylor felt.

Now, watching the redhead's exposed body roll over to straddle Mari on the lounge, made every nerve ending on Taylor's body come alive. Mari held her tightly. Her dark skin, a gorgeous contrast to Emma's porcelain complexion was highlighted in the dancing fire light of the torches. Their bodies shifted as they tried to steady themselves against the whirlpool.

Taylor's nipples swelled as she watched. Feeling shame, her hand went under her shirt and her nails teased the skin from her stomach upward. As soon as she touched her breasts, her knees weakened.

Outside, Tim pushed Justin forward a bit and slipped out of the seat to move down into the center of the tub next to his lover. Tim's left hand was underwater, probably supporting Justin's back to keep him floating on the bubbles, which gave a clear view of his right hand playing with Justin's clearly visible erection over his bathing suit. Taylor didn't know which couple was more erotic to watch. Her breathing was shallow as she unconsciously licked her fingers and returned them to her nipples, circling the areola, then pinching. She felt like she could almost come this way.

Taylor reached down to her sex with her other hand. There was warmth in her lower region, but she was not yet hard. Hormones had changed the nature of her orgasms. Her former cock was no longer immediately the center of attention. She cupped it with her palm, fingers wrapped down around her small testicles, and her middle finger dipped into the space behind them. With a back and forth motion, she masturbated her clit until she felt it fight for some of the sensation and arousal that coursed through the rest of her. She grew hard as her eyes locked on the sight before her. She didn't even blink for fear it would vanish.

Tim guided Justin into a sitting position, and pulled the swimsuit off his body. Justin was beautiful nude. As Taylor watched Tim take Justin's cock into his mouth, Taylor desperately wanted it in hers. Ian came back into her head, and she wanted to be out there with him, right there in the mix with her friends. She wanted him laying nude next to Justin, while she devoured him the way Tim was doing. She brought her hand up from her sex and inhaled her scents of arousal. It was different now with hormones, distinctly feminine, like she was now imagining the scents of Mari and Emma. But when Taylor tasted the clear drop of fluid that was connecting her finger to her clit, she found it sweet on her tongue. That must be what Justin tasted now with Tim. She wanted to be with Ian so badly now. But as she watched through the window, she also wanted Mari and Emma, and Tim and Justin. Why was she behaving like such a fucking slut in her mind? She was horrified and she loved it.

Emma stood, and for the first time ever, Taylor saw Mari's lover, nude. Her breasts were firm and full, with tiny areola and hard little rocks for nipples. She had beautiful wide hips, muscular thighs, and a beautiful patch of red hair above her pussy. In the light of the torches, Taylor could see Emma's swollen labia, and she wondered if they were always like that or had Mari just made that happen. Taylor's mouth hung open as Mari stood behind her and gently pushed on Emma's back. Her young lover leaned over, legs spread, clutching the side of the jacuzzi with both hands. Emma was looking directly toward the kitchen window. When Emma bent over, Taylor got a good look at Mari standing behind her. Her bestie's beautiful large, dark breasts and soft body dripped with water as steam rose up around it. Mari's trimmed dark mound lined up behind Emma. Mari grabbed Emma by the waist and pressed her aroused vagina right against her lover's sex. She began grinding into her from behind. It didn't take long for the expressions on both their faces to change from a slow burning arousal, to the intensity of approaching orgasm.

Taylor's breathing was rapid as she rolled her saliva-covered palm back and forth tightly against her clit and her finger teased at the tight opening between her cheeks. She could finally hear the sounds of Mari and Emma's moaning above the humming and bubbles of the spa. Her eyes darted back and forth between Tim sucking Justin and Mari humping Emma, Taylor imagined all of that with Ian. She wanted him in her mouth, and then wanted to be bent over that tub as he took her from behind. Penetration was something she'd never experienced, it scared her, but tonight she would do anything to have Ian deep inside her. She coated her finger with more saliva, then pushed it further inside than she'd ever gone. She heard herself wince at first, then moan, as discomfort turned to pleasure. Her other hand pinched almost cruelly at her nipples.

Taylor was close because she knew that her friends were as well. Outside the window they were moaning and gasping for breath. Mari's eyes were fixed on Emma's ass as she thrust against it, but Emma was staring directly at the kitchen window. Taylor worried she wasn't actually out of their sight, and was mortified for a moment. As her arousal peaked though, Taylor suddenly wanted to be seen. She shifted to the right so she was dead center in the middle of the window. The kitchen was dark, but the flickering light outside could very easily be exposing her figure behind the glass; she just didn't know, but that made the moment even more exciting. She saw Justin's body quake in the water first, and Tim held him in place. His mouth fixed around that beautiful cock. The sight of that must have been enough to put Mari over the edge, because Taylor saw her best friend's eyes squeezed shut, as Mari cried out with one final hard thrust of her pussy tight to her lover's ass. Emma's eyes locked to the window.

Taylor wasn't sure what Emma was seeing, but she fixed on her eyes anyway as her palm stroked her saliva lubed clit until the spasms of orgasm washed over her body. Her butt pulsed against the invading finger, and she felt a few small bits of sticky fluid shoot into her hand. She was shaking and her other hand came out from under her shirt to support herself on the countertop.

Immediately after, breath still shallow, Taylor was embarrassed. Outside, Emma was still looking straight into the window, and she was smiling. Fuck, had Emma seen her? What had been intensely arousing a minute ago, now humiliated Taylor. She was some kind of creepy voyeur.

Without another glance out the window Taylor ran from the kitchen, back to her room. She closed the door behind her and was again safely alone in the blackness. As she collapsed into her bed, she remembered the sticky little memento of her shameful deviance, still in the palm of her hand. She lifted her hand to her nose. There was very little there, nothing like before HRT. She thought of Ian, and imagined it was his come in her hand. As she breathed in the scent, she wondered if she'd ever experience it with him. It was in the universe's hands now. The tip of her tongue touched the wetness in her palm. It was sweet. She did it again, and again and again until there was none left on her palm. This very long, roller coaster of a day had come to an end. Every emotion she possessed had surfaced today and it left her exhausted. As she closed her eyes and felt sleep approaching, she again wondered if Ian would accept her, and also if Emma had really seen her behind the window.