How Sex Really Works

Hi All, Blozo here.

I'm a fat old retired Registered Nurse who hasn't had an erection in ten years.

I write some pretty wild fiction.

And I use a lot of descriptions that other authors use too. It never fails that someone in the comments section gets all bent out of shape about the fact, and I hereby stipulate that it is a fact, that what I'm describing is anatomically impossible.

Their condescending lectures, full of crap they copy pasted from who knows where, are frequently just as wrong as the crap I made up to give people who don't care about that shit an erection.

So here, point by point, in no particular order, is the truth as I know it.

And I know it all quite well.

1. Penis Size

The average penis was just under seven inches long the first time I checked, according to a study from a military hospital that was considered the most authoritative at the time.

This number has been increasing over the years, some speculate from hormones in our food supply, or possibly natural selection, woman theoretically preferring a larger penis, although definitive research on that point is lacking.

I've since seen other studies that stated other numbers, including one as low as 5.5 inches. None of them stated a higher number.

Treat any study on this you see with a skeptical eye. Ask yourself who funded it and why, how many erections they measured, and what they did to stimulate the men to erection.

I just can't see most men achieving a maximal erection in a clinical setting where accurate measurements can be obtained.

In thirty years of nursing, the largest penis I ever saw was over 11 inches in length, and thick as a red bull can.

I know this, because one of my less ethical co workers measured it while he was knocked out for treatment of his priapism, which is that condition the Viagra commercials warn you about, an erection lasting longer than 4 hours in the absence of direct stimulation.

I personally use this unfortunate man as my guide, and do not depict a larger penis in my stories.

Such a penis is exceptionally rare. In my experience 95% of penises are smaller than my own, which measured just under 8 inches when it could still stand up.

For those of you, and there will be a lot of you, who don't believe me on that, send me a message on the discussion forum email, and I will provide you a link to a short movie of this particular old man banging an equally old lady in the back seat of my truck. I'll warn you, you had better want your proof very badly, it isn't a pretty sight.

2. Black men are hung, White men are not.

False. On both counts. I've seen the full range of sizes on men of all races, relatively equally distributed.

The unfortunate man referenced above was white.

3. Viagra

Viagra, or sildenifil, is a drug used to treat erectile dysfunction, but it was originally invented to treat a very specific blood pressure problem called pulmonary hypertension. So this isn't a drug that you can take a fivefold overdose of and expect a happy ending.

It carries a huge list of unpleasant side effects, such as warmth or redness in the face, neck, or chest, stuffy nose, headaches, stomach pain, upset stomach, nausea, diarrhea, memory problems, back pain, an inability to differentiate between the colors green and blue, loss of hearing, ringing in the ears, and dizziness.

And it carries a somewhat shorter list of truly hideous side effects such as chest pain, hypotensive crisis, acute myocardial infarction (heart attack), with or without death, and priapism,

See the Penis section for a nice description of priapism, then picture large bore hypodermic needles inserted in the corpus cavernosa of your penis in a desperate and usually unsuccessful attempt to drain the blood, before you go taking any viagra that you don't really need.

Now the big erotic story lie. You don't take a bunch of viagra and have your dick spring up. It requires the same kind of stimulation your dick would have required back when it worked normally. No stimulation, no erection.

4. The Vagina

The vagina is an incredibly resilient structure, composed of a tissue type called Stratified Squamous Epithelium, unique in the body to the vagina and the esophagus.

The vagina proper is seldom deeper than 3 inches at rest, although exceptions occur.

The vagina stretches both radially and axially to accommodate the penis, but not as rapidly as some erotic stories depict. There are other body structures in the picture here, such as the suspensory ligaments of the uterus, bladder, and ovaries.

The amount of bowel that needs to be displaced can be significant, and it has its own attachments.

This is why, in real life, no one plunges his long thick penis in to her vagina in one powerful thrust. The elastic limit of some of these tissues would be reached, and tearing could occur at any of the above mentioned points, or even the walls of the vagina itself.

These tissues do however, stretch relatively quickly. If you will watch a pornographic movie of a man with an exceptionally large penis, you will see that initially, he is able to insert a few inches. If you fast forward 5 minutes or so, his depth of penetration will be much greater, and some women may even be able to fully accommodate him.

Thankfully, trauma to the vagina such as minor tearing heals more quickly than other tissues of the body, including your skin.

Lastly, "Her smooth silky vagina" isn't smooth at all. The inner wall of the vagina is covered with wrinkles called rugae, which do a wonderful job of retaining lubricant.

Without the rugae, the vagina would probably feel no better than a plastic sex doll.

5. The Cervix

The cervix is a thick, generally round structure, located on the anterior (Front) wall of the vagina near the bottom. It is not a straight shot in from the opening of the vagina.

What I like to call in my stories "The little opening in her cervix" is called the External Os.

The Endocervical Canal is the passage that leads through it in to the uterus, or "Womb".

This passage really isn't much of a passage, you would be hard put to push a pencil through it.

The canal is usually plugged with a fairly solid type of mucus called Operculum, which is dissolved by a constituent of the semen (Some stuff in your cum) to allow sperm through, and by blood from the thinning lining of the uterus to allow menstrual fluid out. (That bloody looking stuff that comes out when she gets her period.)

When a doctor places an IUD or a lapraroscope for a transvaginal proceedure, they dilate this passage carefully, and these objects of much smaller diameter than even the skinniest penis can be placed in the uterus. When a woman gives birth this passage dilates to an enormous size, but the body has a process to achieve that, which I will not describe here.

Now here's the important part. You can NOT shove your dick though her cervix in to her uterus, unless something has gone HORRIBLY wrong. Nor can you just smash your dick in to it, yank on her ass, or any of the other devices I like to use to get your cum to shoot straight in to her womb.

I personally love the imagery on this little lie, but in reality, if your 10 inch dick was slammed all the way in to her vagina, the glans of your penis would be an appreciable distance past her cervix, and your urethra would be oriented at about a 90 degree angle to the external os.

It's just not happening.

8. The Uterus.

There's no sex happening in here. Period. Even if you could get your dick in here, and you can't, the lining of the uterus, or Endometrium, would make the bloodiest damn mess you had ever seen, and she would most likely be in excruciating pain.

The only thing relevant to an erotic story going on in here is pregnancy, and possibly, but not usually, the moment of conception. The way most of us describe the moment of conception is pretty fake, although except for the fact that everyone in my stories who gets pregnant does so immediately, (it can take days for fertilization to actually occur) I'm better than most.

I think it has more pop to it if I say it happened in the womb, and it can, but it usually occurs in the fallopian tubes.

I personally do not feature penetration of the penis in to the uterus in my stories, but I know some do.

7. The Testicles and Semen

There's no "Cum" in your balls. Anywhere from 2 to 5 percent of your semen is sperm, and everything in your semen that isn't sperm is produced and stored somewhere else, and semen isn't even semen (cum) until it's all mixed together.

Sperm produced in the testicles collects in the epididymis, that thing you can feel through your bag that's on top of each of your nuts. From there it passes in to a tube called the vas deferens, which is the item they cut to give you a vasectomy. It then passes in to the ampulla.

And now we are in the body. The rest of the process is even longer and more convoluted, so I won't cover it here.

The takeaway is that no one's balls are aching to be emptied in to her welcoming whatever, another little device I love to use, but it isn't true.

"My ejaculatory ducts ached with a blah blah blah" just doesn't have that punch to it.

Another big erotic story lie has to do with the volume of the ejaculation. My characters ejaculate enormous amounts. I know it's a lie, but I think it's hot, and I'm the one writing the story.

The truth is the average man ejaculates about 5cc's. Some more, some less.

Exact data on maximums is non existent, but I'd be willing to bet almost no one is making 10.

That half a condom full of semen you see in the porno flicks is fake, just as fake as the rivers of semen pouring from the vaginas of the characters in my stories.

See the section on the cervix above, and it's pretty obvious that if you ejaculate 10 cc's, 9 and a half of them are going to end up on the sheets.

Some men produce as little as one cc and still manage to effectively impregnate women. In reality, you need not even ejaculate, there are plenty of sperm in your pre seminal fluid to do the job. While pulling out does decrease your chances of impregnating a woman, it is by no means effective enough to count on.

There are a lot of other things, like the misconception that the vagina and the rectum share a membrane (They don't) and that women squirt vaginal lubricant when they orgasm (You don't want to know what it really is) but I'm kind of up against a page break here, so I won't get in to it.

To those of you who genuinely wanted this information to enrich their base of sexual knowledge, I thank you for reading my work.

To all the trolls whose inane comments prompted me to write this, I hope you are satisfied that I don't need your fucking anatomy lesson.

Thanks all!

Blozo