All Comments on 'Birthday Pool Party Ch. 36'
by WittyUserName
- 38 Comments
Wow, you have absolutely outdone yourself this time, this chapter is superb the whole way through, the build up to the prom, the parents arguments, the prom itself, the sex back at the mansion just superb, but the absolute best is the way you described Stephanie overcoming the horror of her rape and having a loving threesome with Kayla and Ian, but that also brings Ian into the relationship of the slut sisters, such clever storey construction. But you can’t just stop this here, there must be at least another chapter for the morning after, where everyone gets together and discusses and bonds over what has happed, then maybe you can start book 2. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ I know we can only award 5⭐️ but this chapter is worth 10.
Alot of work you put into this chapter I see. Drama with the parents and the young lovers. I like how you resolved each situation with each boy in different manners. Josh and Ashley have an open relationship. Shawn decided he couldn't handle what Marcia asked of him and moved on. Ian, Stephanie, and Kayla become a throuple. Look forward to see what you'll do to wrap up the story (or this book at least)
Beautiful. From the quiet moments of love, to the humor to break up the tension, to the gentle healing of Stephanie and giving her power over her sexuality again - A++.
Kudos and hazzah Witty! This is by far the best chapter you have written. I can not say enough.
I am glad that Kelsey did not harm herself. Hopefully she will be able to get the help that she needs.
I was a little shocked by Nicole speaking up and coming out to all the parents about her dating Steven as well. I am sure that was what spurred Hazel to finally stand up tell everyone that she was pregnant with Stevens child. She made alot of progress with coming to terms with her situation at that moment and later on with Lexi as well. The whole before prom with the parents was very well done Witty.
I am glad things worked out with Ashley and Josh. Its too bad that it did not work with Marcia and Shawn, but I think deep down perhaps Marcia wasn't expecting it to work out. I feel bad for her that Shawn rejected her but was glad that Steven was there for her.
Kayla, Ian and Stephanie... the best part of this chapter and also the best writing for thier part. Excellent job Witty, I was absolutely captivated by it.
A month left until graduation... 4 more chapters??? I am sad that it will come to an end, but glad that you are thinking of a book 2 Witty. I am also glad that you can envision more for the characters. I look forward to it. As far as Book 2 goes... college years might be a long and drawn out story for Book 2, but that is for you to decide. A time jump would work to tell how everyones lives turned out... this could be a stand alone epilogue at the very end of Book 2 or it could be multiple chapters for Book 2. I am anxious to see what you come up with Witty. As I have offered before, if you ever want to bounce around ideas feel free to contact me. I would not mind being your sounding board if needed. And I can never say it enough Witty, you are an amazingly talented writer. Hands down my favorite here on Literotica. Keep up the great work!
Aewwwww! Finally Hazel! Be happy girl! This chapter had sex, it had drama and good conversations! I loved!
: agreed, we definitely have a new winner, here. Full marks and then some, Witty!
So glad I was right about Ian's "payoff"--the guy definitely deserved it, and the build-up with Stephanie was great, defintely the highlight of the chapter for me, and the perfect closer.
Hazel making great strides in the right direction thanks to a supportive Lexi, too; looks like everyone is on the way to being back in a good place (except for Kelsey, ofc--this will probably be addressed next).
And the showdown with the parents was fun, too. Go Josh, lol! (Looks like good times are headed his way, too--and they probably start with an 'M', now that Marcia ans Ashley have made up.) ;)
On the whole, a bigger chapter with numerous points of view, and the best of them all, imho.
I dunno how many chapters left you’ve got in the tank for this book but for some reason I doubt a chapter or 2 will be enough for what I believe to be a plot that isn’t finished yet (Kyle and Lexi’s/Nicole’s parents)
My heart bleeds for Marcia, it really does, but that’s teenage love.
Maybe with book 2 it can be a kind of backlash with Lexi and Steven’s relationship where rumors are thrown around and Steven’s social/work life takes a massive hit and it’s up to everyone in the family to fix that problem and prove it isn’t the case.
Started to read for the XXX and stayed for the plot!
Everthing Woodencav said. Ten stars from me also if we could.
Dewey Cheatham
Wow, just wow that story is amazing. I agree with the person who commented before me there is still so much left in this story. I hope you keep it going or at least come back with them all in college .. but I hope you at least take it to graduation and especially the day after prom!!
I have to agree with ; 10 Stars! This was a fantastic chapter. Too bad Shawn was so narrow-minded, but maybe he can come around and make his way back. Steven gets way too much teenage pussy anyway (but if I was in his place I wouldn't complain). We still have to resolve things with Barry, April and (damn, I forgot her name, Steven's assistant). I think the absolutely best part was bringing Kayla, Ian & Stephanie together like you did. It was perfect and I'd like to see them continue as a triple; that did the heart good. Regarding book 2, I'd really like to see you write it. Far be it from me to tell you what to write, but I think it would be good to continue with Kayla, Ian & Stephanie and even bring Kelsey (is that the right name, Stephanie's friend?) into the threesome. Maybe Ian could have a harem? I like all the main characters you've created in this series. I particularly like Kayla, Stephanie, and Ian. I'm looking forward to the upcoming chapters and whatever else you decide to write. (P.S. - since incest doesn't seem to be a taboo subject with you, maybe add in some brother/sister stuff with some new characters somewhere along the line).
Huzzah! You knocked the after-prom scene way out of the ballpark. The threesome was sweet, loving and - most importantly - not in the least bit repetitive. It was exquisite!
The story could be improved by editing out some of the mundane and clearly obvious exposition - probably a full page less text would streamline the story.
But you delivered when it counted. Well done!
Keep writing, I like the story a lot. Look forward to it......Maybe next group is skip 5 years till after college? Or some shootoff of the Slut-sisters parents lives, before, after, during this? Seem to be a lot of options to keep this going
This was my favourite chapter of the series thus far. Everything was so well done and I liked how it all ended up.
I was sad for Marcia but I honestly felt like she wasn’t really into Shawn. She said the words but I don’t think she ever really wanted to give up Steven and I’m glad she stayed loyal to her girls. She’ll find someone for her who is ok with the girls.
I was also really happy for Stephanie to find herself again and find love with Kayla and Ian.
Amazing work Witty
Just a note for those who get frustrated with repeated details - the author's style is definitely one that wants you to feel like you are LIVING in this story. As such, details that aren't 100% there to move the story forward, but are there to make you feel like you're living the story exist. This includes school days, morning rituals, etc.
I feel like it would not have the same level of verisimilitude (which is not a Tolkien book, and is not the same thing as realism) without those details.
Amazing chapter. I really hope you decide to continue this story for awhile, whether it’s this story or a book two. I would hate to see it end anytime soon.
Amazing you should definitely keep the story alive sad for Marcie but happy to finally see Ian and Kayla do the deed
What a wonderful chapter. I hope the story continues and all of them live out happy sexual lives!
Well written, great story, and Kayla finally gets Ian. Like every one else it's going to be hard for the story to end. It's hard enough waiting for the next chapter as it is. Keep up the good work.
A truly entertaining chapter. It was good to get insights into the parents. I also enjoyed the new POVs and how they each clarified relationships that were not previously illuminated. I am sure you have a plan for the remaining chapters culminating in graduation. If a book 2 comes to you, I am sure we loyal readers will be engaged. I have been immersed in your characters and this world you have created. In keeping with that, I wonder if some standalone stories or short series might be a route to see where your writing and storytelling goes. For instance, a story with Barry causing business and/or personal problems for Steven/Stacey. People have mentioned Nicole becoming a part of the work scene. Another pool party for the end of summer could be a stepping stone to the college years. Each of the families have fodder for story arcs. Hazel giving birth might engender 'baby fever' in someone. Ashley could have relationship issues and/or her sister can be an issue or solution. The trials and parole/convictions may be a good theme to explore. Steven needs to get a handle on his various girlfriends, whether five years down the road or steps along the way. Whatever you choose Witty, I really appreciate all your time, effort, creativity. Thank you so much!
These are excwllwnt stories, qith well-developwd characters and subplots that make it an interesting series. I look forward toneach installment and hope you don't stop.
I'm all for that morning-after discussion, but I want it to happen at the lunch table. This isn't to rub it in Shawn's face, but so he can see that these feelings are real and are taking place in the real world and not exclusive to the sanctuary of the mansion. He can see that Ian and Josh are really loved by their ladies and not Steve's and the Slut-Sisters' leftovers. It could be a moment that helps turn things around for him. Now, the celebration I can't wait to see is when the Slut-Sisters give Kelsey a chance to celebrate Prom. Like when they rescheduled the pool party when Ian got grounded.
I really admired that Witty didn't give us a Disney clean-up when it got to how it turned out for the guys. I understand the respective decisions. Ian got the exclusive tour as to how things worked out at the mansion. I think Ashley taking Josh's virginity at the pool party did a huge number in closing the intimacy gap between the two of them. Josh calling out his parents convinced Ashley that this was a guy that didn't just prefer the truth but was strong enough to handle the truth. Shawn wasn't that lucky. Sure, Marcia gave him a hell of a kiss at the pool party but that didn't strike me as enought to convince him that she really loved him. I mean even Ian needed the kidnapping to give him that last shove across the finish line to accept Kayla. I really hope Marcia gets a guy, whether it's Shawn or someone else (Hey, I think there's enough time to introduce a new character and get him up to speed. Just look at how Witty dropped the all the revelations before Prom and there was nothing rushed about it!).
I know! I can't wait to see Kelsey's healing!
Not just Ian, my friend. Don't forget Josh!
I think Nicole found her voice to speak up after seeing Lexi's example. I think Hazel was just tired of the bullshit. The pent-up rage against her parents exploded as she called out these parents on what she considered nonsense. I think Marcia was under the impression it would work out with Shawn, otherwise she wouldn't have been so upset at the "last" threesome with Steven. I'm glad Steven was there to hold her together when her heart was broken. But like I said, I hope she finds her own guy. Kayla, Ian, Stephanie, and I can't wait for Kelsey to join. I loved the writing too! " And I can never say it enough Witty, you are an amazingly talented writer. Hands down my favorite here on Literotica. Keep up the great work!" I couldn't have said better myself.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who felt the same way about Ian's payoff. It's not that I was skeptical, but extremely curious as to how Kayla was going to make Prom worth waiting for when they already had so many erotic and tender moments already. But I believe that more "payoff" is in the cards for Ian and Josh, especially as they sharpen their sexual skills! I would totally love it if Marcia gets close to Ashley and Josh like Stephanie did with Ian and Kayla.
The need-to-know people in Steven's professional life know about the Slut-Sisters and I think he'll be okay on that front. Steven is a man of his word. He proved that to Lexi and Stacey so rumors wouldn't have much a chance of sticking. As for everyone in the family, I can't picture Steven taking advice from Ian or Josh. Maybe Allen, but he doesn't know about his "family life" other than Lexi. "Started to read for the XXX and stayed for the plot!" Me too, but I stay for the plot and the XXX!!!
Mr. Cheatham, it's good to see you again!.
As I explained, I don't think he's narrow-minded, but more along the lines of he's being asked to take too much on faith. I'm sure Ian would have made the same choice if he had seen only as much as Shawn had seen and got as much explanation has Shawn did. I'm hoping he finds his way back to Marcia or matures like Dan did. Yeah, I totally agree about Steven. I was thinking that since the blowjob contest. I think Barry is over and done with, considering it's his firm that pulled him off the deal. He can't retaliate without making them mad. Moving Day will be interesting because Steven will get to meet April, but resolution won't come without Lexi and Stacey coming to terms. Ian can totally have a harem, and I hope he does! Other than confidence issues in certain areas stemming from inexperience, he's got the right stuff. His words of affection, kindness, and understanding echo Steven's words when she was reassuring Lexi, Marcia, etc. He did it naturally too! It's not like Steven had to mentor him, and then he found the strength to fight Keith, wave off the guys at Prom, etc. As for brother/sister stuff, it would be pivotal as fuck to have Kyle reconcile with Lexi the way Nicole did. The three of them!? Hell of a call, SSFGuy! My mind is off to the races!
Marcia was into Shawn. She wouldn't have kissed him at the pool party like she did if she wasn't. Ashley didn't want to give up Steven either, but she was prepared to do it just in case. She was always going to stay loyal to her girls. I hope she finds someone too!
"I feel like it would not have the same level of verisimilitude (which is not a Tolkien book, and is not the same thing as realism) without those details." Thank you for saying that.
FUCKING LOVE THIS SERIES!!!!!! The backyard scene was powerful indeed. This was the first time Steven and the Slut-Sisters went on the offense. When Steven shouted, he showed he was ready to fight for his girls and not just shield them. When Lexi, Hazel, and Nicole spoke up, they showed they were standing by their man. I'm glad Josh kind of made his bones by calling out his mom. Ian got his Red Badge of Courage for his girl chapters ago. Nicole got thrown into the deep end and held fast alongside her sister. Seeing Lexi say her piece really showed how her support system didn't just heal her, but strengthen her too. I also liked she show of maturity since she tends to tease everyone. When it came to Prom, the Slut-Sisters came a long way when it came to partying with each other's guys. It's like night and day when I look back to Spring Break. They weren't just switching off fuck buddies on the dance floor, but their significant others. The after-party sex? You know the term, "He fell in love like a schoolboy"? I used to think that phrase was really demeaning. But after reading what you wrote, I get the poignant, wholesome feelings that phrase is supposed to express. The repeated asking by Ian and Josh reflect how much they value their partners' consent, and I loved how their ladies didn't roll their eyes and shake their heads at that. But they mirrored that concern with love and passion. As much as I'd like to see what happens in the morning, other than catching up everyone up on what everyone else did. I don't think an orgy is going to kickoff once everyone's had breakfast. I can't wait to see how late Ian, Kayla, and Stephanie are going to be for lunch on Tuesday and maybe Josh teasing Ashley about getting "dessert" before lunch. Oh and one last thing, I remember in the first chapter how Steven said that Kayla did cheerleading. For anybody reading, is it too late for any cheerleading events in the school year even if it's just a pep rally or something? Just curious, since the only time we saw cheer stuff was in Bermuda and I was wondering if we'd see it one more time. But then again, we could...if she does cheer in college.=)
Thank you for the ten stars!
Glad you're looking forward to how the story concludes!
Thanks!
Thanks for the comment! I appreciate it!
Agreed, Ian is one lucky guy!
As always, I love your comments! I reached out to you via email.
Glad you loved the chapter!
I'm happy to hear you want a second book!
Thanks for the full marks!
I appreciate the ten stars! :D
I'm glad you liked the chapter!
Thank you, I hope to continue writing!
Glad you stayed for the plot!
Cheatham I love hearing that I get ten stars!
I'll definitely take it to graduation! Not sure what happens after that!
We'll see about the time skip. I'm not sure how long it will be.
Glad this was your favorite chapter!
I appreciate the support! :)
I appreciate that you like the story!
Yeah, I'm sad for Marcia, too.
I hope they have happy lives, too!
Thank you for the support! :)
I'm glad you enjoyed the new POV, and that you're looking forward to Book 2!
Thank you!
Thanks! I appreciate it!
I love reading your comments! Thank you for taking the time to read and comment! To answer your question; Kayla is a cheerleader, but the story starts after football season is over, that's why no games have come up. I'd love to explore her being a cheerleader in the future. :)
Sorry for taking so long to respond to comments! Real life has been very hectic lately. I didn't get to write all weekend. As a result, there's a chance there won't be a release this week. If I finish this week, I'll definitely post, but I don't wanna rush things. Thanks again for the comments, I read every one!
-Witty
Witty, real life comes first. No one here that follows you will fault you for that and we will wait patiently for the next chapter... because we like your story.
I really hope that you continue this story, but work in a few more characters. Would love to see a deeper relationship between Stephen and Nicole.
Sorry for the delay. Real life is getting in the way. It's only temporary though. I plan to resume posting with Chapter 37 next week. Sorry again!
No worries Witty. I'm sure we can all relate to being busy and not having enough time to do stuff! Looking forward to the next chapter when you get it finished.
Chapter 37 has been submitted to Literotica under the "Group Sex" category. It should go live in a couple of days.
-Witty
Awesome can't wait to read it. Also with encouragement from Witty I have submitted my first story. It is also under the Group Sex Category although it could have been in a few other categories as well. I hope some of you might read it and let.me know what you think.
Another stunningly beautiful story! Thank you Witty!!! You are an incrediblely talented writer and I'm really anxious to get started on chapter 37...
Well, whatta ya know? One of these guys finally stood up for himself, and it turned out to be Shawn! I did not even consider it would be him, but I can see now that he was a minor character that you could get rid of like that if necessary. Guess we'll see whether he's gone for good or not. Several commenters have said they thought he was narrow minded, but I feel that's only if your ethos is that everybody should be sharing all the time. Then it would make sense to disparage Shawn. But if your ethos is that everyone should be true to their own feelings and beliefs, then you have to admire him for standing up for himself in a healthy way. He knew what he wanted, and a relationship with a slut-sister was not it. He really liked Marcia, but he even turned down his first opportunity for sex with her to be true to himself. I admire the hell out of that. I've learned the hard way that unless a man is willing to turn down sex, and do without, he will always be controlled by women. Just like every other man in this story is controlled. Shawn wants an equal, monogamous relationship with a woman who feels about that like he does. Nothing wrong with that, that is straight up honest. Marcia wants a relationship with a guy who is ok with her fucking other people. Ok, that's honest too. They are obviously not compatible in that way, so Shawn's move was the correct one. No need to disparage him for it, any more than to disparage Marcia or any of the others for what they want. In my own opinion, most of them are at least a little bit twisted, some more (much more) than others, but I can't disparage them for it. They want what they want. Ok. Shawn knows what he wants, too, and it's not the same as what they want. Gotta respect that. (Even if you don't agree with it.)