All Comments on 'Birthday Surprise for Daddy's Slut'
by littleginger
- 12 Comments
Hey I know everybody writes this junk because it gets like 9 zillion readers but dear god. Still not a bad story.
Girl turns 18 and becomes Dad's sex toy. It's almost as bad as the ones about a guy having his buddies over for a poker party and his wife bangs all of them. These have to be written on automatic pilot.
And once again, "Anonymous" posts negative commentary. Quick piece of advice, littleginger - ignore anything negative that "Anonymous" says. If "Anonymous" isn't brave enough to criticize openly... *shrugs*
As for the story itself, I can note four things about it:
Cliches - very cliched indeed. Almost from the literary equivalent of a cookie cutter mold.
Spelling/grammer - no glaring errors in either case. I've read many a story with an exciting and original plot, that was ruined by atrocities perpetrated upon the english language.
Characterization - very well done, actually. You should try your hand at the nonconsensual/reluctant stories, as you did a far better job of describing genuine reluctance than the vast majority of same. The protagonist sounds like a real person, and her reluctance, resistance, submission, and final enthusiasm sound genuinely like a true life account.
Erotic value - VERY high. A very sexually exciting read. You are to be commended.
I agree with AP on many of the comments that he wrote. Your story is technically very well written. But, I just couldn't let the subject of this story go without comment.
This is a story that in the end, condones forcible sexual assault, ie, rape. I realize that the story is fiction and written for entertainment purposes only.
The story still leads one to accept the premise that sexual assault is OK. The end result justifies the means. In accepting that premise, the story encourages readers to believe that sexual assault, rape, is acceptable. Sexual assault, regardless of how one dress it up, is still rape. And, rape is wrong. Rape is brutal. Rape is vile. Rape is degrading. And rape hurts everyone involved. And that is the tragedy of this story.
Though this story is, as is stated in an earlier comment, something that seems to be from a "cookie cutter" I must say that it still got me. The only reason that I gave this a 75 is because that.
I must comment on the last submission for just a minute though and I am sorry Littleginger that it is with your story that I make this stand.
So many times with stories like these people get very bent out of shape because of the "rape" aspect GET OVER IT! Seriously! Does it dawn on you that there are A LOT of woman who have rape fantasies? That in most of these stories the women actually like it? If she didn't enjoy it why didn't the author have her running straight to the cops??????? Instead she says "thank you" that doesn't seem like the attitude of a woman that emotionally and physically tramatized!
I am not saying that being raped isn't tramatizing or life changing, but you would really have to be raped for it to affect you as such. It would only be a woman on a high horse or a man who has no clue to post such a ridiculous thing. That or a woman that was tramatized and can no longer tell the differance. I can tell the differance from experiance and I still say GET OVER IT! It is a story and if you can not tell the differance there then you shouldn't be on this sight or reading this type of story!!!
GREAT JOB LITTLEGINGER
Yes, I agree with everything everyone said, including the fact that the premise is tired, but it got me rock hard. I loved the characterizations, and the n/c aspect was great. The only advice I have for you is write, write, and write. Keep writing! Write what gets you off, and you'll find an audience of like-minded fans.
I'm so wet and need dad in me now. I think my father's penis will be the most perfect fit for me. I even want to feel his sperm in me. To hell with mom I need him. I know I can make dad happy. I know he'll drive my wild I want him now and I'm going to have him NOW!
Ap writes, "And once again, "Anonymous" posts negative commentary. Quick piece of advice, littleginger - ignore anything negative that "Anonymous" says. If "Anonymous" isn't brave enough to criticize openly... *shrugs*"
I guess A is his entire first name and P is his entire last name because he obviously would only ever openly give feedback. Or he created a safe unknown email address, made a username which does not in any manner reveal any clue as to whom he truly is apart from AP.
That isn't to say some of the anonymous comments aren't just to be intentionally rude about story or the author, but it is ridiculous to suggest using a made up username is openly critizing. I see it as being no more or less valid than the anonymous comments giving suggestions and honest feedback.
This story was okay as far as the subject matter, but it could have used some more build up and anticipation. The writing wasn't the best, but hopefully the writer continues to write stories and continues to improve.
Barely got into the story, totally turned me off. Slapping her, the whole chaining her to the desk so he can perv on her as a teen then go wack off, then dressing her like a slut so he can treat her like a slut... I stopped reading right before it looked like he was going to rape her. Not my cup of tea. :(
Anal rape... Happy friggin' birthday! I like the taboo stories, but rape, fact or fiction in this case, is too much.