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Instead of thirty hours it took over four days. She'd discovered that he needed to get out of the car and stir around, exercise a little or he started getting nerve pains and cramps. But it also meant three additional nights in a motel.

Three nights tangled up arm in arm. Each night they tried something new, but he was exhausted so their encounters were brief. She didn't care. They were together.

As they pulled in the drive his folks ran out to greet him. He slid out of the car and braced himself against the seat as his mom threw her arms around him. "Oh, Jonah. It is so good to have you home." Running her hand down his cheek, "Oh, you look so good. Come on in, I made a cake and some sandwiches for you to eat." His dad slid in and hugged him as well.

"Let's get you inside." She started to pull him towards the steps. He teetered and almost went over.

"Mom! Mom, hold on a second, I can't..." Maggie put her hands to her face and gasped.

"Oh, son. I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking. I almost pulled you over."

"It's fine, Mom. Noel does it all the time, just for fun." At that second, Noel showed up with the wheelchair.

"Only we he deserves it. Here, Mrs. B. Let's get the big lug into the chair then Henry, if you'll open the garage door I'll try to get him up that one step."

"Henry, you push your son up there. I have to say high to Noel." Turning she grabbed her and squeezed her. Noel could tell she was crying and hugged her back. "Noel. I will never be able to thank you enough. He looks great and it must have been so hard on you."

"No, Mrs. B, it was..."

"Bullshit! Pardon my language. You have sacrificed everything for our family. Thank you. You're even better than a daughter. And you must be exhausted. Four days on the road." She nodded.

"Yeah, I'm a little tired. Let me go give Henry a hand. We have so much to talk about."

"Did you, you know?" She nodded, earning another hug. "Oh, dear, I am so happy for you. For the both of you." Then laughing, "And for me. Welcome home."

"Jonah? Are you sure this is a good idea? Yes, it's almost a year since you got sick and I think it's great that we came out here to Colorado to visit your old stomping grounds...

"I love it here. It's beautiful, so much different than the East. To be honest, I never got to see much of the area on my last trip. A few short hikes because someone kept me working all the time.

"But the mountains! I used to love the Appalachians, but these put them to shame. Ever since I came out here to help you... It feels like so long ago, doesn't it, but also just like yesterday. Weird, right?"

Looking worried, "But it's five miles up, and you can see there's lots of snow up there...."

"It'll be fine, Noel. I'll take my time and if I'm getting too worn out we can turn around. Down hill all the way. And you can carry me if I get to weak."

"Dream on. That's not going to happen, you oaf. So we need to stop if you get even a little weak, okay?"

"Sure, doc. Whatever."

"But what about your feet? They're still a little numb. What if they're getting frost bitten and you don't know it. I mean it's still pretty cold..."

"Noel?"

"You're right. Sorry. It's above freezing, and the leaves are out on the trees. What's the worse that can happen? Your toes, turn black and rot off from the cold. No big deal. I'm not into feet anyway. They're ugly and come to think of it, feet would probably look better without toes. So let's go."

Suddenly pausing. "Wait, hear that?"

"What?"

"That soft buzzing whispering noise. Where are those rascals? There! There they are." A small flock of birds flew erratically and landed suddenly in a tree not far away. "Waxwings."

"Waxwings?"

"Birds, nature boy. Bohemian? No, too big, must be cedar. They are like the coolest birds. They sit there all prim and proper like they're snooty royalty or something. Their crown all erect and every feather in pace. Then they all bust out like they're going to the after party talking to each other. They fly this way and that way then land in a tree bar for a while in a small group. Then, bam! Off in a rush to another bar somewhere. Cool. Look! There they go!"

"How the heck do you know this stuff, Noel?"

"I used to hang out at the park and the lake so I didn't have to go home. Nature and its critters were my friends." He hugged her and they kissed briefly.

They were about halfway up, the trail was still clear, when she stopped. "Jonah! Look at those aspens. They're all twisted up and gnarly. We need to go check them out. What could have happened to them? Come on!" She ran into the grove and started running her hands along their curved and twisted trunks. Wounded, but still in full leaf.

"An avalanche did it, Noel. Look up above. Snow builds up and slides down the hill. Look how it's completely wiped out the trees up above, and then it ends up here, it looks like. They picked a bad spot to grow."

"She hugged the biggest one. "But they never gave up. Bad times hit them and they continued to grow. Amazing."

"What are you doing with that tree?"

"This one's the momma. Aspens make seeds, but they mostly spread by sending out roots and new ones grow. Like blackberries or raspberries. These are all her babies. Good job, Momma. Can we sit over there by that rock and just feel them a bit. Maybe she'll let me take one of her babies to raise at home."

They sat down, out of site of the road when Noel saw two doves fly hurriedly past through the trunks. "Shhh. Someone's coming. Quiet."

"Noel, how do you..."

"Shhh!"

"Come on, slow poke. We have a destination to reach. No lollygagging, well, except, hell, give me another kiss. God, Eric, I love you so much. And I have loved you for such a long time. I can't believe you asked me to marry you, in the parking lot of our favorite trail. It's about time, I was just about to ask you."

From their spot behind the rock they could hear kissing and hands on clothes. "And this ring. Eric! It's the most beautiful thing in the world. Never have I ever loved someone as much as I love you. It's magical. We're going to be so happy! Adventure, travel, places to explore. We're starting off together in Idaho! Incredible!

"Oh, God, I love you. I feel like I'm just floating up the mountain. Now let's get up to the top. It's like you can see 360 degrees and the whole universe of mountains and snow all around. And then, my fine fellow, we're going to do it. 'And what did you do the day you got engaged?' Such a story."

More rustling. "No, Eric, not yet. When we do it I want to be the one on top. You can just lie there as I thank you, plus...All that snow, and I have to take off more clothes...Hurry up. Let's go. I'm getting excited just thinking about it. Oh, Eric...Okay, stop. Save it for the top."

Noel knew that voice and slid her right hand onto Jonah's, squeezed, and placed the left one on his chest directly over the brand. He reached up and pushed that hand firmer against his chest. She started to cry just thinking about how it had to make him feel, and put her head against his shoulder.

Once the couple had moved along up the trail, "I'm sorry, Jonah. That must have been awful. Anything I can do? Should we just head back down?"

"Awful? Yes. Those are nearly the exact same words she said to me. Line for line. Brings back a lot of good times. And simply awful times. Abandonment. But it sounds like she's better off, and," looking at Noel, "I'm much, much better off. I obviously didn't mean as much to her as I thought. Just a means to an end. Guess there was a reason my mom was not too excited."

"Jonah, can we discuss something for a moment. If Zoey is going to Idaho...I've done some investigation."

"Uh, oh."

"Nothing bad, but have you considered living here? Or in this area?"

"Sure, but..."

"Great! I've done some investigating in my free time. I talked to your school and you could start your fourth year in the Fall semester and finish up your degree. You've already spent so much time, it would be a shame not to complete it. I talked to Ariel and the hospital is actively recruiting nurses."

"What about my folks?"

"They actually think they're ready for a change. They already have someone who wants to buy the bakery so they would be able to sell their bakery there and open one here. There isn't one in the whole county and there are possible locations on the Main Street in town. I mean we'd have to go through them and check it out and all, but the floor plans looked pretty promising. My mom and her crew can fly here whenever they want. Soooo?"

"So, once again you've planned my future."

"No! No. Jonah, I don't care where I live as long as I'm with you. You don't have to do any of this. These are just ideas."

Looking into her eyes, "They are terrific ideas. But I never really had a chance, did I?"

"What?"

"Not since the end of ninth grade when you marked me yours."

She smiled up at him, eyes still moist from her tears and smiled and snuggled in closer. "Nope. Although I never suspected that there would be so many twists and turns or that it would take this darn long." She laughed again. "I love you, Jonah, forever and through whatever avalanche comes our way. We may get twisted around a bit like these trees, but we'll continue to grow and get stronger. Our roots linked together until the end. And maybe even beyond that."

"And I love you, Noel." He pulled her into a hug and kissed her. "I think we should do it here right in front of Momma aspen. What do you think?"

"She'll have to close her eyes. See where those lower branches came off. Looks like eyes. Look away Momma aspen," she laughed again. Oh, how he liked that sound. "You never have to ask me twice, Big Guy. I was hoping you'd suggest that."

"Yea, there's just something special about making love amongst Momma aspen's roots, so I think you should be on the bottom and be closest to them. Nestle into her old leaves and sticks and a few rocks and..."

"You, ass! Kiss me. We can take turns. Oh, and just for the record, I'm way happier than Zoey is and I'll be happy forever as long as I have you, Jonah. I think you made the right choice."

"Me too."

A sudden breeze set all the leaves of the aspens to fluttering, changing their light green leaves to silvery white and creating a soft whispering sound. She smiled and pulled him close. "Thank you, Momma aspen, and thank you, Life," she whispered.

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33 Comments
muskyboymuskyboy5 days ago

Long, drawn out, obsessed with unneeded minutia, and witty banter in the place of romance. Not your best effort.

wings65wings6513 days ago

This story definitely needs a second part to have Noel and Jonah to finish the plot

lerenardruselerenardruse18 days ago

I really love ths story, here's my feedback. I really feel there is another chapter to be written. It would allow closure on several threads. I want to read more about Noel and Jonah, they've just started their life together.

inka2222inka222219 days ago

A great story. 4.8 stars. Taking off 0.2 stars because her sperm donor didn't have anything bad happen to him. It's original, well written, engaging, and fun.

AnonymousAnonymous20 days ago

Pretty good, but not the best this author has to offer (as I work through all the mole’s stories). One loose thread (for me) was the rapid disappearance of Noel’s father. It’s difficult to believe that he would simply let go of his live-in maid.

FaShUnPhOtOgFaShUnPhOtOg26 days ago

This was so painfully written that I couldn’t finish the 1st page. The dialogue is childish- I’d say 3rd grade level. The characters are cliche and unlikeable. 1 ⭐️

AnonymousAnonymous26 days ago

The story is good, the dialogue is terrible.

Davester37Davester3727 days ago

I’ll add my praise of this story. A couple of the plot threads strain believably but they’re certainly powerful. It’s certainly a sweet story, with interesting, well-developed characters, and I enjoyed reading it very much.

Your research on Guillian-Barré is right on. I lived that a few years ago. My case wasn’t that severe, but I was hospitalized for a long time, and my recovery took most of a year. It was certainly taxing on my family. I lived with the knowledge that I would recover and worked my butt off in rehab.

Thank you for writing and thank you for sharing your work.

PowersworderPowersworder29 days ago

It was good, but you rushed the ending.

After 11 pages, you needed to properly tie up all those loose ends.

This needed:

1) Some scenes with Jonah being fully recovered. Mainly so that he's not the patient anymore, and their relationship can take on a normal dynamic.

2) Sex with an exhausted invalid compared to a fit mid-twenties guy are very different things. It would've been fun to see how Noel reacted to being given a robust work out in the bedroom.

3) Noel introducing Jonah to her mother. The connection to that family was just left hanging, and it would've been nice to see how they fit into Noel's new life.

4) Jonah bumping into Zoey again when he was fully recovered. She deserved to feel regret and remorse after callously abandoning him like that.

5) Some kind of third act showdown with Noel's psycho brothers when they got out of prison.

6) Marriage and kids with Noel, to give them both a proper happy ending.

AnonymousAnonymous29 days ago

Wonderful story!

I loved Noel’s character and just felt so sad for her, like I just wanted to give her a hug and tell her she’ll be ok.

I’m glad you gave her a happy ending, but I could have used another few pages of him getting fully better & them getting married. It feels a little incomplete without that closure, like we haven’t actually gotten to the happy ending yet, we can just see it ahead of us.

jlg07jlg0730 days ago

Wonderful, wonderful story 5*

Bronco56Bronco56about 1 month ago

Great story. You killed it with your characters. You wrote Noel beautifully. 5stars

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 month ago

I like this story very much ! Thank you !

OldHistoryGuyOldHistoryGuyabout 1 month ago

Great story! Noel is a wonderful character. Keep on writing. Thanks.

Demosthenes384bcDemosthenes384bcabout 1 month ago

Great, passionate effort on your part. Couple of the plot lines frayed on the edge of believability, but solid storyline. I liked the reappearance of Zoe at the end, scene of the crime, so to speak, but I was hoping for a proposal. At 11 pages, clearly you put the time in, but the ending pace picked up too quickly throwing the rhythm off. 4.6* overall!

steppinontoessteppinontoesabout 1 month ago

Noel’s birth mother is a despicable person, to go off and leave a minor girl with the psycho father and sons, then having the means didn’t come back to rescue her is beyond reprihensible, it shows a totally self-absorbed person with no shred of humanity. Jonah is almost as bad by painting Noel with the same brush as her family and refusing to talk to her, he has baggage that will taint them as a couple for life.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 month ago

On page 5, Jonah's mother, Maria, became Maggie instead. These types of errors are very annoying. Editors should've caught this.

Tx77TumbleweedTx77Tumbleweedabout 1 month ago

This was very different and a great read. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

AZTT2AZTT2about 1 month ago

Great story and characters

uk_writer_53uk_writer_53about 1 month ago

I thought the conversations seemed a bit stilted at times and it certainly needed a decent edit but an excellent story nonetheless.

Boyd PercyBoyd Percyabout 1 month ago

Wonderful story! Noel and Maggie are outstanding characters. I plan to add this one to my list of favorite stories.

5

MysticMysteryMysticMysteryabout 1 month ago

Outstanding, I loved this story. 5*

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 month ago

Got pulled into the story, lots of hidden curves, lots of hoping and loved the conclusion.

GimliOakensGimliOakensabout 1 month ago

Wow. Just wow. Amazing

rflikeslitrflikeslitabout 1 month ago

Thank you great story

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 month ago

This was a great story although the ending felt a little rushed since the rest of the story was so well fleshed out. As someone who had Guillaume barre little brother Miller fisher syndrome which took me 6 months to recover from I can say it is no joke. While I was in my 40s and had paralysis on one side the migraines double vision loss of balance as well as the residual nerve damage from it. You did a great job describing this. I was in the hospital for almost 2 months relearning to walk and what not. Thank you for doing this justice and doing a good job describing it for people who have never had it

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 month ago

I couldn't get past the he's the love if my life even though we never actually interact.

servant111servant111about 1 month ago

Simply OUTSTANDING romance. Hit every single component on my authorial checklist. Enjoyed this tale immensely and have added it to my favorites list. Thanks and keep it up!

5 stars

MischifMakrMischifMakrabout 1 month ago

What a great sroty, with such a heartbreaking beginning and early days, so to speak. Noel's strength and the strength of her love for Jonah were truly awe-inspiring. I'd give it ten.. no eleven stars if I could!

WhoGivesAShitWhoGivesAShitabout 1 month ago

Fantastic story. Noel and the Baxter’s are good, likable characters. Zoey and Noel’s family, not so much. I liked how you worked in a good deal of humor, it gave a very positive tone to a terrible situation. Yes, it’s a long story. It didn’t seem long while reading it, that’s part of how I find dialogue driven stories more enjoyable than a series of de-facto events. Very nicely done.

goodshoes2goodshoes2about 1 month ago

First---5 starts. The story meandered along like a mountain trail but ended where a good life should be. Took a bit long to get there but was worth the trek.

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