Branded

"So is there room in your hotel room for both of us?"

"Actually, something better. We're staying at Ariel's. I have to swing by and make a copy of her key and I should pick up an inflatable mattress. Might be better than her couch."

Noel pulled out of her parking spot, "Are you sure it's not an imposition or anything?"

"I already talked to her, it's fine."

Maggie looked around. "Wait! Stop the car!"

"What is it, Mrs. B?"

"Dammit, Noel! You've been sleeping in your car! Why? Why would you do that?"

She dropped her eyes for a moment then met Maggie's directly. "I had everything I needed. I ate at the hospital or burger place, showered at the workout center, I'm used to sleeping in my car, I don't know how long or how far my money is going to have to stretch, and, frankly, I wanted to be close to the hospital in case anything came up. Enough reasons?"

Maggie reached across the console, gave her a squeeze and kissed her head. "Yes, Noel, more than enough reasons. So why Ariels's?"

She laughed. "She caught me and wouldn't take no for an answer. So how's Zoey?"

"Torn up, of course. I think she's struggling with self discovery. Of course it's our fault it happened."

"I knew it was my fault. Surprised you got sucked into my web of intrigue. But more importantly, what about Jonah?"

"He's a mess. You could see him crumple. He kicked me out. He gets transferred to the nursing home tomorrow and I'll see how he's doing, but, Noel, he's going to need you. So don't go anywhere. Please!"

"Not going anywhere, Mrs. B. I wonder if their parking lot is nice?"

"Ass."

Jonah was transferred to the nursing home the next day, some three weeks since he'd proposed to Zoey. He would have preferred rehab, he was awake and alert, but still not really moving anything so really nothing to be accomplished at rehab.

The transfer went well and the patient assessment and plan development started. Nursing, physical therapy, occupational therapy, dietary, social services, financial. Each did a full evaluation and established a plan for his stay.

He didn't care, all he felt was loss, emptiness. He just wanted the world to go away and leave him alone. He'd been on top of the world, the girl he loved, schooling he loved, in an area of the country he loved, never a bump in his highway of life.

Now the girl that he thought he knew so well and would be his life partner had bailed when he needed her most, his family was colluding with a girl who had ruined his entire time in high school, and he couldn't even scratch an itch when he had one.

From strong and independent to completely helpless and dependent. Why had it happened to him? What had he done so wrong in his life that the universe felt this was something he deserved? And now in a nursing home filled with old and dying patients. So much for day one.

Early day two he was awakened by the curtains being whipped open and the bright morning light pouring in. A young woman in scrubs moved quickly around his room. It was summer so the sun came up early--he guessed it was about seven or so. "Good morning, Sunshine. I'm Nancy, your nurse. You know, Nancy Nurse? No, actually, I'm Chris."

"You're not much for words, are you? You made a real hit with your team yesterday. Nothing like a pouty male to make our day. And from the looks of things we'll be blessed with you until we can ship you off to rehab."

She went to the head of the bed, reached under his arms and pulled him towards the head of the bed. "Holy poop bags! I think my uterus just popped out. Why, oh why, do I always get the huge ones. Why can't I get my sweet little 99 lb. old lady? So anyway, let's raise the head of your bed up and I will feed you some of these delightful scrambled eggs and toast. Dietary says we should try you on some soft stuff and see how the swallowing goes.

"My goal is to see if I can make you gag and cough. Sound like fun? BUT NO VOMITING ALLOWED! God, I hate vomit! Anything else that can come out of a body, fine. Vomit, makes me gag just thinking of it. So...now that I've made you scared to death to eat, let's get to it.

"Nothing? No response? Oh well. But first, matey, you need to drink some of this fresh mountain spring water that's been run through mile after mile of rusty pipe until it reaches our fine facility at which point we run it through a few hundred feet of plastic pipe for your drinking pleasure."

Despite his attempts to remain glum, he smiled. "Oh, my God! Gracie, the big one is coming! I need to sit down! He smiled! Stop the presses. And...he's actually pretty handsome when he smiles. You should do more of it.

"But don't try flashing those baby blues at me and asking me for a date and stuff. I'm married to a guy that makes you look like nothin' and have two of the cutest little girls...Uh, oh, touchy subject. Guess I'll have to pry the story out of you.

"Okay, open up the hanger, here comes the first bite." He chewed and swallowed, not bad really. He looked up and she was standing back away from the bed. "Ladies and gentleman, we have a successful swallow. Call the TV news!" He smiled again. She noticed how far back she was standing. "Sorry. Told you about me and vomit. It was a good thing my little girls didn't barf or spit up. Guess they knew I'd put 'em in a basket and leave them at the firehouse with a note."

Stepping back to the bed, "So, how were those eggs? Come on, Jonah, if you can swallow you can talk. Now be a good boy and use your words..."

"They were very good. Thanks."

"And he talks, ladies and gentleman! 'One small step for man. One giant step for mankind.' Or something. Coffee? How do you like it? Can't promise I'll remember, but... I could just dump it down your feeding tube," she laughed, "but it tastes better if you drink it. Although to be honest, I don't usually use a straw.

"So, had enough to eat?"

"Yup. It was great. Thanks."

"I'll pass on your praise to our blind, toothless, one armed chefs. Really cooks, not chefs, but we're supposed to use the term. Let's get you cleaned up. Then there are a couple of unhappy ladies that want to talk to you soon. They're not too happy with that fancy pantsed hospital of yours.

"No, no hints. You'll know them when you see them. Okay, okay, I'll tell you. You dragged it out of me. Hailey is physical therapy and Joss, Jocelyn, is occupational. They'll be here like about nine. Your mom said she'd be here at eight or so.

"So who's that chick that's with her? She's pretty sharp and good looking too. I talked to her for a while. Knows her stuff. Euuu! Now that's an ugly look. So not your sister, hmmm. I can see there are more layers of the onion to peel, or whatever. Anyway, it's been fun, but I have other chores."

"Your shoulders, hips, and well, all of your joints are stiff and need range of motion, but not as bad as I would have expected. Has someone been working with you?"

He glared at his mother. "Uh, anyway, you've got wrist drop and foot drop, you know, you can't hold them in the position of function, so Joss is going to make you some splints to wear. You need lots of work. Lots of time. Time to undo what's already happened and to help you as you start moving again.

"Here's the problem. We are not a rehab facility. I can only work with you an hour a day and Joss probably even less, right, Joss? We're just not set up for guys like you. You know, healthy young person who temporarily can't move so well."

"If you show me, I could do some of the stuff."

"That'd be great, Mrs. Baxter. If we can really work on him, he'll be way ahead of the game as his nerves heal and he starts moving again. We just can't afford to have him lose any more ground.

"So, I have about a half hour. I'll go through things. Joss will come back later to put the splints on and she'll rig up this bag with a long tube that we can put close to your head and you can drink, like through a straw whenever you want."

She winked and whispered, "And we'll put beer in it on Friday night. No, actually, can't do that. Sorry. And beer through a straw? Actually, they used to say you got drunk faster that way. We need a randomized, double blind study. Any volunteers?" She and Joss raised their hands and laughed. "Let's get started, shall we. Maggie come over here and I'll go through it. Don't worry, you won't break anything."

"That's it! No more. I'm tired of you giving me crap all day because you can't move or do anything for yourself. It's not my fault. Not my fault that you're here, not my fault that I'm not doing it right, and sure as hell not my fault that Zoey did what she did. All I'll say about that is better now than later."

"Mom, I..."

"No. Shut it and you listen. I have to get back to the store. Your dad is working himself to death. It's been almost three weeks. No. Don't say a word. And there is a wonderful, very talented rehab trained nurse who can do this for you and do it right.

"Let her help, dammit. If you want to get better, be all that you can be as they say, let her help. You don't have to talk to her or anything else. Jonah, she quit her job the day I called and she was living in her car while you were in the hospital."

"Mom, I..."

"You have it all wrong. She was the victim too. She's not what you think. At least talk to her."

"Alright. Alright."

"Great!" She pointed a finger at him. "But I'm telling you this! I love that girl. She is like a daughter to me. She is tough as nails and lived through horrors you could never believe, things that would have done YOU in, but you...you, Jonah, you can hurt her. You, the only thing on the whole planet, I think, can break her. Don't you dare do it! If you do I'll never forgive you. And never forgive myself for pushing her into this. Got it?"

"Holy crap, Mom. What has she done to you?"

"Just don't. She's hiking today. I told her to get lost. I'll talk to her tonight. I'm sure she'll be here tomorrow and then I'll be heading home."

"Jonah? This is Noel. Noel, Jonah. Now I'm going to leave and let you two get acquainted."

"Mrs. B..."

"It'll be fine, Noel. He said he would behave himself. It's not your first day on the job." No, it was worse than that. Much worse. Maggie's words did not make her feel any more comfortable about being alone with him. After all this time, she was excited, anxious, nervous, filled with what ifs, and dread. Fear and dread predominated.

"Mom says you're a nurse?"

"Yes."

"And you have some experience with this sort of thing?"

"Yes. Well, sort of. I do acute rehab in orthopedic patients and some on chronic, uh, spine patients who can't move their legs."

"Any Guillain-Barre patients."

"Just one for a few days...and then you for a few days in the ICU when you were on the vent."

"So you..." looking down at himself.

She let out a laugh. "Yes, Jonah. I've seen your junk." She laughed again. "Boys! I give up. And sure, yours was the best I've ever seen. Feel better?"

"Really?"

"No! Dicks are dicks." This time he laughed. "And you might as well know I wiped your ass when you crapped all over the bed. So I've seen that too." His face turned red. "Oh, he's blushing. Jonah, sick people poop themselves. Not like you could do anything about it. I'm a nurse. That's what I do. And, yes, your ass is special too." They both laughed. "So what say ye, Jonah?"

"Why? Why are you doing this?"

"Because I love your folks and I owe them a lot. And, your mom asked."

"Is that it?"

"That's all I'm going to say. Take it or leave it."

"I'll take it, I guess. Where do we start?"

"Well, first, let me take a close look at your junk."

"What?"

"Kidding, Jonah. Your breakfast tray is over there. Have you eaten?" He shook his head. "Let's start there."

"Good boy, Jonah. You are now a member of the clean plate club. You ate it all."

Chris walked in as she announced his success. "He ate all of it?" Noel nodded. "Do you clean up vomit?"

"Errr, yes?"

"Good, follow me down the hall, the old lady...No, just kidding. I hate it. I gag all over the place. So you're going to be wrestling this behemoth and make all his joints just glide like skates on a freshly frozen pond?"

"Yup. Exactly." Laughing, "When was Hailey going to see him?"

"Around ten, I think."

"Can I work on him a little before that?"

"Sure. I'll close the door so the other patients don't here his screams."

"Really?" The two women looked at each other and laughed at his discomfiture.

"Oh, this guy is just way too easy. Good luck with him, Noel. Give me a holler and I'll help you clean up the blood."

"Enough gaiety, Jonah?"

"Yea, at my expense."

In a deep voice, "Luke, let us begin your training. Feel the force. Actually, let's pull your gown down a little so I can see your shoulders." The gown slid below the brand and she froze. Her eyes moistened.

"You did that."

"Yes I did. The worst day of my life." Taking a deep breath, "Let's see how far we can raise your shoulder. Dang, your shoulder is getting tight. Just relax your muscles. Oh, sorry. It's...it's just what I always say. Jonah, I...

"Anyway, I'm going to push a little bit and hold. It should feel a little uncomfortable, but not really hurt. Good, it's relaxing, so push a little more and hold. Now let's rotate it this way and hold. Good. Now this way.

"You're doing great, Jonah. Let's take the splint off. Crap, your wrist is stiff. I had it going pretty well before...well, before you got extubated. Problem is the muscles on the bottom are stronger than the ones on top so your wrist hangs down. The splint helps, but we need to push, yea, there we go, push until we get it close to 90 degrees. Doing, okay? Remember, pressure and discomfort are okay. We don't want much pain."

"So we've done both shoulders, elbows, wrists, and all of those cute little finger joints of yours. Now on to your lower extremities. And yes, I will likely see your junk again. Oh look. How thoughtful. You're wearing a condom to be safe. Catheter that is." She laughed at her own joke.

"Let's put a towel here in the middle. I know how modest you are," and gave a short laugh. "Alright, hips. Darn, you're so stinking big and I'd like to do them together..." She climbed on the bottom of the bed, bent his knees and pushed his thighs towards his chest. Slow, steady pressure. Things relaxed and she pushed steadily until his thighs landed on his chest.

She noted that he was looking down her shirt. Ordinarily something like that never phased her. Just part of life for a woman. Bend forward and every guy looks down the top. But this was Jonah, she pictured herself on top of him, she blushed.

"Enough of that." She climbed off. "Let's do one at a time."

She finished up just as Hailey came in. "Hello, Hailey. It's Hailey correct?" She nodded. "I'm Noel, I kind of limbered him up for you a little. I'm going to be helping him some if that's alright. Maybe I can watch you and then do it a couple more times during the day or whatever you recommend."

"Sure, that'd be great. Let's start with his shoulder. It was pretty darn stiff yesterday and is going to take a lot of...wait! Holy crap! Did you do this, Noel?"

Glaring at Noel, "Yes, she did, Hailey. Did she mess it up?" Noel's head flew from Hailey's to Jonah's.

"No. Absolutely not. I thought it would likely take me a few days to get it to where it is. It is true that she messed it up by doing it before I took baseline measurements, but who gives a darn. This great. Let's go over the rest of you."

"Great job, Noel. If you could do everything two or three times a day, he'll be in great shape when things start moving. And that, well, we're in that plateau phase, but hopefully will be soon. And a couple of things, no, there's no problem.

"We need to work on his spine some so if you stand over here, and help me sit him up and fold him over...Great. If you'll do this stuff, I'll drag him down to my place and put him on the tilt table and see if we can get him ready to sit in a chair.

Maggie flew home. Plenty of tears at the airport. Ariel got a boyfriend so Noel moved back to her car and showers at the gym. A week passed and Jonah became more angry and frustrated each day and the only place he directed it was Noel.

The plateau had already been three weeks. Why wasn't he starting to move more than a little twitch at his shoulders? What was she doing wrong? Maybe she was messing things up. Maybe she didn't know what she was doing. Basically, she was responsible for every bad thing that had ever happened in his life.

He started right after breakfast with talking down to her and blaming her every bit of discomfort and pain. Breakfast sucked, she didn't clean him well enough, she wasn't exercising his muscles right. Her face turned red as her anger grew.

"FUCK YOU!" She surprised herself as much as Jonah. His mouth opened, eyes went wide. "That's right! I said it and I meant it. FUCK YOU! I quit my job, I sleep in my car, I shower at the god damn gym and it smells like sweat and shit in there. And all you do is give me shit. All day every day. I do everything for you, asshole.

"You're just like my fucking family. I'm back to being Cinderella, but I swear you treat me even worse than they did. As long as I took care of everything and did everything I was supposed to they never said a word. But YOU! You give me shit all day every day. So FUCK YOU. You're officially worse than my crazy as shit fucked up brothers. Congratulations!

"And quit fucking smiling at me. Yeah, this is real fucking funny. I'm taking the fucking day off. I'm going hiking or hell maybe I'll just throw my worthless ass on a train track if there even is one. What the hell kind of town doesn't have a fucking train track? Maybe a bus. Fuck I don't know. See you tomorrow, dick head.

"And congratulations, again. You made me fucking swear all over the place like the fucking slut whore my dad always called me. That's why I never swear. Dang it all. See you tomorrow. And quit fucking smiling. This is not funny. God, I should just punch you in your nuts." She grabbed her purse and ran out of the building. Chris tried to catch her, but she was too quick.

Four hours later she came back and Chris watched her. "Pretty colorful language there missy. Never in a million years..."

"And fuck you too." They both laughed and Chris gave her a hug.

"You're sleeping in your car?"

"I'm used to it. No biggy." She walked with her head high and went to Jonah's room and resumed his care. "Sorry," was all she said and he simply nodded. They acted like nothing had happened. He was better, but still not great. She understood his frustration and his anger, his acting out, but it exhausted her. By the end of the day all she wanted to do was curl up in her back seat and cry.

She'd call his folks, put him on speaker and leave the room, but she could hear him complaining about everything, especially her. Maggie would call her later and she would tell her everything was fine. No problems. Getting along great. But Maggie knew this was ripping her apart and begged her to hang in there a little longer.

Three days later, Noel finished feeding him lunch, cleaning him up, changing his sheets, range of motion and had helped PT use a hoist to get him up in a chair. He was making progress. His trach and feeding tubes were out. No more condom catheter. She thought he'd be happy. Another new first.

But his glass was neither half empty nor half full. It was bone dry. The anger and frustration had worn her out and she'd asked Chris to help her get him back into bed. Chris touched her arm and mouthed, "Are you okay? Can I do anything?"

"I'm fine. No problem." Jonah was sleeping, worn out after his range of motion and the time in a chair, he was snoring gently. She sat down at his bedside, weary in body, weary in spirit. She lay her head on the bed with her hands on either side, pulled the covers towards her head and cried quietly.