Broken

It was the incessant beeping.

Was it real? Why did it keep going on? That steady beep-beep-beep every second? Or was it every two or three seconds? What if it was hours between beeps and I just couldn't tell?

And, where was I? Who was I?

Vague memories would coalesce, become real, become now... and then fade. Running, on a track. A track meet, running the mile. How did I know it was the mile? Who was that beside me? John, yes it was John, the almost deaf runner who needed a win to get his letter. I was exhorting him on. Across the football field I saw our opponents, nearly half a lap behind. We could do this. I was the better runner, but we were so far ahead, there was no need for me to give a hundred percent, I could half-step at the end and John could break the tape and get his letter.

Silence. Why was it silent? I heard a voice, shouting. My voice. "Come on, John! You can do it! Let's go!" Otherwise -- silence. The pounding of my feet on the track, jarring up into my skull, the skittering sound of slipping gravel back from the spikes on my shoes, and then suddenly, a lone voice, calling out to me. My father's voice, "Way to go Jeff!"

I remembered; I had a name. Jeff. I had a father, and suddenly the roar of a hundred voices in my head. Glancing up at the stands, nearly three hundred people watching a track meet that I was running in: standing, cheering, clapping, and there right in the middle my eyes latched onto my Dad. Out of that crowd I'd heard a single voice, shouting directly to me. Out of a crowd of hundreds, I'd looked directly at my Dad. How do such things happen?

A track meet, between teams. I was on a team. Which team? Where was I? And then it all faded.

~

It was the incessant beeping.

"Show us your penis." The woman speaking was a teacher. I think. Or did I think? Who was she, and how did I know she was a teacher? "No need to hide it, if it gets big, you're old enough to share it. Show us, and you can go through the door." A teacher urging me to show my penis to her, and to... someone. I looked at her, the face of my 6th grade teacher, the one who had been in charge of our 'sex non-education euphemism class' oh so many years ago. She'd seemed so old even then, why was she in my dream, a dream I'd once had years ago... or was this a nightmare? Someone else, someone important standing right there. What was beyond the door? I didn't know. I knew the girls had gone through that door, why hadn't I? Something scary, something unknown? Someplace I'd never been.

I had an erection. I know I did, I don't know how. I don't know how I even knew what an erection was. Had I ever had one before? Yes, I guess I had. "Come on Jeff, show it to me. You know you want to. Can I touch it? I'll let you touch my boobs if you do," another voice clearly rang through my head. This was no old teacher though.

Teresa. Her name was Teresa, and she was gorgeous. Red head, a gorgeous figure, magnificent boobs. I'd had a crush on her, I know I did. Who was she? A classmate? My mind drifted trying to identify her, and I remembered. It had been 8th grade when I'd last seen her; I'd been too shy, unable to talk to her, unable to ask her out. Why was she in a dream with my 6th grade teacher? Something that the teacher was trying to teach me, but it wasn't making sense. I realized I hadn't been allowed to date back then anyway, but that didn't keep me from fantasizing what it would be like to see and feel Teresa's magnificent boobs. "Would you like to see them?" she asked, and once more I watched as she pulled her top down, over her shoulders, her beautiful breasts about to come into view.

Once again. This was once again as I knew I'd had this dream before. Her boobs were about to come into view, but I'd never seen them. Every time before, my dream had ended, before I got to see them. I knew if I got to see them, just once, all would be right. Her blouse slipped further over her shoulders. Creamy white skin, unblemished skin, alabaster skin, coming into view, the gorgeous valley between her perfect breasts, dotted with freckles... and there they were! Two nipples, erect. OMG they were erect! Pink. Perhaps more brown than pink.

Areolas.

Quarter sized and flawlessly perfect. Oh my God. They were so perfect, exactly as I'd always imagined they would be. "Would you like to touch them? You can, you know." Her voice was honey in my ears, "If I can touch you that is." Her eyes, lowering to my cock. My God I was hard. Impossibly hard. Impossibly big. And she wanted to touch it? My cock? My dream girl wanted to touch my dick? Her hand reached for me, mine reached for her breasts.

I came.

My cock throbbed again and again and again, the warm fluid spreading over my abdomen, held there by... something. I wasn't naked. What happened to the teacher? What happened to Teresa? I hadn't even got to touch her breasts, those gorgeous mounds that had been in my memory for years. The dream disappeared, faded, replaced by that incessant beeping.

"Oh my." The Angels voice filled my ears sometime later, and somehow I realized that this time it was real, not dreamed. "That's quite a mess. We'll have to get you cleaned up."

~

It was the incessant beeping.

It had been going on for quite some time now. I'd counted the beeps, started, lost track, stopped, started again and they just wouldn't go away. Another voice, not the Angel this time. "He's coming around, won't be long now."

God, my head hurt. If I could just touch it, rub it, make it quit hurting.... Oh my god, my arm hurts worse than my head. Why? What happened? Oh! Oh my God. I can't move it; I can't move my arm. Or the other one. I groaned; I know I did although I didn't hear it.

"Hey there, Jeff. Are you with us?"

I groaned in response. I tried to answer, my voice didn't want to work. "Where am I?" I managed to croak, my mouth and throat too dry to function. "Water." I tried to open my eyes, but they were so heavy. I gave up.

"I can't give you that just yet," the voice said, "but this will help." I felt a finger wipe my lips, something into my mouth, cooling, wetting, refreshing.

I sighed. "Thank you." It was all I could do to say those words, following up a moment later with my original question again, "Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital. You had an accident."

"Oh." God I was so tired, and it all faded again.

~

I realized the beeping was still there, but instead of the entire focus of my being, it was now just in the background. What was it? I'd seen this in movies. A heart monitor? Breathing monitor? I don't know, I'd never paid attention before. I'd never needed to pay attention before. The voices had come back. A nurse? A doctor? I didn't know, I could just hear them talking about me. "Always make sure the curtain is pulled before you start, we need to respect the patient's privacy."

"Okay." Oh, I knew that voice. My Angel. The one that had said I had made a mess that needed to be cleaned up. Oh. That mess. I'd had a wet dream, hadn't I? When was that? Just seconds ago? No, and now it was happening again. The Angel had found it and cleaned me up. I think. Why was she getting instructions about privacy?

A wet dream. Oh my, I'd been thinking about Teresa. I knew she had magnificent tits, if I could have seen them, just once, back when we were in classes together, I know I would have died and gone to heaven. My cock, I knew it was hard, so hard it ached. If I could, I would touch it, but I can't. Why not? I don't know.

Hands on my body. Moving clothes? Pajama's? I realized I was in the hospital, it's a hospital gown. Opens in the back, and now lying on my back, unable to move I realized why.

"Oh, oops!" my Angel's voice said. Why had Teresa's voice become my Angels voice? Or was it that my Angels voice was now heard as Teresa's? I was so confused.

A giggle from the other voice. "That happens sometimes, at least we know that he's normal in that category. All we can do is just ignore it. If they're awake and that happens, we just tell them we'll give them a few minutes. When they're unconscious like this..."

"I'm awake," I said. Or at least I thought I did.

"Is he trying to talk?" My Angels voice said.

"Possibly, he's not as sedated as he was. Let's get the diaper changed and him cleaned up." A whiff of feces got my attention, I realized I must have soiled myself.

~

"Well hello there! How are we doing today?" It was my Angels voice, and I'd gotten quite used to hearing it. I know I'd heard it before, many times before, perhaps daily? I'd hear it multiple times, and then it would be gone and someone else's voice once or twice or three times and then my Angel would come back.

"I don't know," I answered.

"Oh! You answered," she said in surprise.

"My voice doesn't work so good," I croaked. "Water."

"Just a minute, let me get the nurse."

I'd lost the ability to track time, hours seemed like seconds, seconds seemed to be minutes long, but this time I realized it was quite rapid, perhaps two minutes and another voice was there.

"Hey there, Jeff. I hear you're awake?"

"Yes," I whispered. "Water." Something wet touched my lips, I sucked on it, a minuscule amount of liquid tasting so sweet it was like sugar to my parched mouth.

"Not too much, you can have a little more in a bit."

"I'm in the hospital?" I asked, trying to open my eyes. I felt my eyelids move, but still it was dark.

"Why can't I see?" I asked, trying to reach for my face, my arm seemingly not responding.

"The doctors have a bandage over your eyes for now, they'll have to take it off when they get here. Now that you're awake, it won't be too long."

"What happened?" I asked, "I don't remember."

"You got hit by a car."

I was hit by a car? Strange. I tried to remember, but remembered nothing. Instead I went back to sleep.

~

"Hi there," my Angel interrupted my thoughts of Teresa again. It had taken me a while to realize that as I got hornier, the thoughts of Teresa and her magnificent tits became stronger and stronger over time, until I had another wet dream, and then they faded. The remembered sound of Teresa's voice had morphed into the often-heard voice of my Angel. Now when I heard her voice, while thinking of Teresa, I at first didn't realize it was real. "Hello? Jeff? You awake?"

"Oh, yeah. Hi."

The injuries were significant. If I hadn't been in magnificent physical shape, it probably would have killed me. My left leg was broken in four places where the car had hit me. My left arm and wrist were shattered, I had a cast from just above my elbow to the middle of my hand. My right arm was broken, but at least the wrist wasn't, but still they had that arm also locked in a cast.

That was the good news.

The bad news was that I was also now blind.

The car had been driven by a woman on her way to work. I'd been on just my regular, early morning, run. I did that every morning on my own, joining the college track team for an off-season, late afternoon workout later in the day. She had a heart attack, and was originally presumed to have been killed in the wreck, however an autopsy clarified that she'd actually been dead before she wrecked. Unfortunately, she'd slumped forward when her heart had exploded, her foot on the accelerator, and her car had run into me. I'd just entered the curve; her car had continued straight, through me, and threw me to the ravine beyond. They surmised that the impact had flung me into the air, my head hit her windshield, and she'd gone under me and off the cliff into the ravine. I landed hidden in brush below the edge of the road, and they didn't even know I was there for almost six hours until the tow truck driver, while attempting to climb down to hook up a winch to pull the car out, noticed a body in the brush away from where the car was. They at first thought I was dead also. By being hit and catapulted above the car, my upper left leg was broken, my head was broken, I had swelling on the brain. The good news was that my torso was intact and virtually undamaged, absolutely no internal injuries, no spinal injuries, and I was expected to make a full recovery.

All except my eyesight.

For that, they had no explanation of why I couldn't see. Everything seemed to be in order, but for whatever reason, the impact of the back of my head with her windshield had presumably done some internal damage to my brain that they could not diagnose, nor repair. The swelling had gradually gone down, they'd kept me in a coma to begin with, whether days or weeks or months -- I knew not.

"It's hard to say," the Doctor had sympathized, "Sometimes in cases like this it just comes back after a while." Unsaid in that statement was that in many cases, it didn't come back. I appreciated his effort to give me hope, but also realized that was all that it was.

~

"So how are we doing today?" My Angel giggled, as she stepped up to the bed. I heard the curtain close behind her, and knew I was due for a bed bath again. "Behaving yourself? Or do I need to give you a few minutes to compose yourself?"

What could I say? Before the accident I'd been a perfectly normal, horny, twenty-one-year-old pre-law student who had tried to get laid as often as I could. Now, I was a perfectly normal invalid twenty-one-year-old whose only interaction with someone near my own age was an Angel whose voice alone caused a near erection just hearing it. I don't know what got into me, but I said, "It won't do any good, I get a hard-on just hearing your voice."

Oh my. That had to have crossed the line, even though it was the truth.

"What?" she stuttered and spit out, obviously taken aback at the statement.

"Are you alone?" I asked, not having heard anyone else enter with her. I'd become quite good at that.

"Yes."

"You were the one that found me after the first time, I, um..."

"Had a nocturnal emission?" Technically, it was correct, and somehow hearing it with the technically correct words made it a bit more palatable to talk about than a wet dream. I was glad she didn't giggle. So many things we have "technical" names for and common names for. It may be a vagina, but we talk about pussies. It may be a penis, but we talk about dicks. If may be fellatio but we talk about a blow job.

"Yeah, that. I don't know if it was a dream or a nightmare," I continued, for some reason needing to tell her why her voice had become an erotic stimulant to me. "They gave us these sex education classes, way back when, and the first time I ever had a wet dream it had two people in it, my 6th grade teacher who was trying to get me to go through some door, and a girl in my class that had magnificent tits that I had a huge crush on." As I said this it suddenly dawned on me that Teresa had been a classmate for not just one year, but for three years from 6th grade on. "And I heard her voice telling me that I could touch her tits, and then you found me and the mess I'd made. And now I can't remember her voice but every time I hear yours..."

It was silent for a moment. Completely silent, but I could sense her presence. "I think we need to ask for someone else to be assigned to you."

"NO! Please no!"

"Jeff..."

"Please! You're my Angel. Your voice has been my anchor. I'm sorry, I won't ever say anything like that again."

She stood there a few moments longer, the silence becoming interminable, I suppose contemplating what I'd said. I sensed her bending closer, sitting in the chair next to the bed, this time her voice a mere whisper, "So you get an erection just hearing my voice?"

"Most of the time." I could smell my Angel stronger now, realizing I'd detected her faint odor every time she'd come into the room in the past, and that now she was quite close.

She giggled. "Well, I guess I'll need to just not speak to you until after we've cleaned you up."

"It won't make any difference," I whispered, "I know your smell, I'll know it's you."

"In a hospital? With all the antiseptic and cleaning and disinfecting?"

"Yes. I'd know your smell anywhere."

"Ok. But you need to keep this between us." Without another word, she proceeded to do what she was there for, although this time, as I had an erection, she covered it with a sheet or the robe when she didn't need to expose it.

"Hey!" I called out as she said goodbye to leave. "Have you got a name?"

"You don't know?"

"No, I've never heard it, or at least didn't know it was you. In my mind you were my Angel, so that's what I've thought of you as."

"Jennifer." She giggled, "I'm a few halo's short of being an Angel, but thanks for the compliment." She turned and walked away.

~

"Hey there, my horniest patient!" my Angel greeted me quietly with a giggle, as she entered the room, thereby letting me know she was alone.

"Only when you're around," I answered. She giggled again.

"You know what today is?" she whispered.

"Your last day for this week?"

"So, you have been keeping track."

"Uh-huh."

"I'm flattered."

"You just like that I give you a hard-on to play with when you clean me." She giggled. If I could have swooned, I would have -- her giggle turning my stomach to mush.

"Well, I've got to admit it is a pretty nice one. But do you know what's going to happen before you see me again?"

"Oh no!" I tried to act shocked. "You're getting married? You're going to have a baby? You're graduating from college and will be getting a different job?"

"No silly, not me. You." She'd been doing her business while I'd been flirting, my now almost always ever-present erection present and in fine form as usual. She occasionally had to touch it, to wash it and had done so with professional aplomb, just covering it when not needing me to be exposed.

"Me?"

"Uh-huh."

"I've no idea what you're thinking of."

"Do you know what happened 11 days ago? And 12 days before then, and then 11 days before then?"

I thought back, I'd been out of my coma for what, maybe three weeks? 21 days? Eleven and twelve was 23 days ago, I don't think I was awake then. At least I could still do simple math. "Nope."

"Maybe you dreamed about my voice?" she lowered her voice when she said this, "and maybe had a wet dream?" I remembered that it had happened, distinctly the one time, indistinctly the second time; but the third? That for sure had been before I awoke.

"How do you know?" I asked.

"I checked your chart."

"They chart that?" I asked, aghast that my sexual functions were being charted.

"They chart everything. And that means it's probably going to happen again before I come back next week." She'd just about finished cleaning me up, but this time, instead of putting the ever present diaper back on which was necessary until I could get up and move around, for the first time her hand didn't just brush my cock aside, but gripped me. "If you want, I can help you out and you won't have to be messy until someone else can clean you up."

Her hand was around my cock, it was all I could do not to groan outright, although it seemed a bit brazen, I could tell that she was a bit bashful about this proposition. Not being able to see directly, I was becoming quite good at seeing "between the lines."

"Ah..." I started, my stomach contracting to her touch. "I'd like that."

"Hmm, I figured you would. You can never tell anyone." She said, her hand now moving up and down my cock.

"Never," I acknowledged, only to have her withdraw her hand, put something over me, stand, and move the curtain aside as she walked away. A moment later she returned, reversed everything and this time when she gripped my cock, I could tell she no longer had her plastic gloves on, and her hand had been coated with some slippery substance.

I had never been one to regularly masturbate with lubricant, just the loose skin of my cock had always been enough for me. But this -- this was a world of difference. I might never masturbate dry again.