Buzzy 01

Buzzy 01

I mean, just one time, right? You participate in the school play one time as the bumbling Bumble Bee and you're called Buzzy from there on out. I mean, sure, I have the skin tone to wear yellow and black striped undies once in a while, but they are actually hard to find and all, so I reserve the two pairs that I have for special occasions and all.

So, what else is there to say about me then? Um, well, some people buy first aid kits and I buy personal grooming kits. Some roommates share household chores and I do the grocery shopping because my roomie Andrew thinks a red tomato and a red apple are the same thing because they are both red and round. But Andy always has my back and the nerdy floor clerk, Frank, likes to talk to me because I think he likes my apple, even though it's a boy apple. Also, Pete the jock likes my apple pie too.

But to be clear, the few that have asked me for a piece of my apple pie were told with certainty that I only have cherry pie and there are no substitutions, although I have followed up with a serving of ice cream before because flirty talk is quite an ego boost. Oh, wait, I mean store bought ice cream too. I have never whipped up my own mixing bowl of ice cream, LOL, although a few have asked for that as a substitution. I mean, wow, some guys are not shy about asking what else is on the menu, right?

Beyond all that, I guess some people keep their regularly used staple goods on the first and second cabinet shelf and I keep my roomie nearby.

Which brings me to the goings on around my place. It's not a free for all, but I'm surrounded by jocks when Andrew's friends come around, which keeps my old geek squad away for the most part. And that brings me to my dream of someday throwing a mixer that would successfully bring the jocks, my old geek squad and Frank's nerd crew together for an evening of socializing and fun. The good news is that I have backyard that could host such a pipe dream mixer, but most folks would ask me what I'm smoking in my pipe if I honestly thought that was ever going to happen.

Also, sharing a wacky weed pipe seems so disgusting, so every now and then I will snatch a blunt from one of the guys and smoke some of it in the backyard and weed dream as I gaze aimlessly over the backyard and imagine it full of jocks and geeks and nerds all getting along.

And to not leave my roomie's girlfriend out of it, Tracy is a fun person who gets way too much of a kick out of the things that go on around here, but I know she would help me decorate the backyard for the impossible mixer that's never going to happen.

(Tee, he), I once bought a jock strap to wear just for the fun of it (and not because the jocks are wearing on me). And it may not be a sensible business venture, but with just a few modifications and different material selections, LOL, jock straps could be the answer to those unsightly men's thong's that are on the market, although I understand the need for some men to display their goods that way for their partners or at those, well, those "clubs" and all. Also, ewe.

Um, shoot, well, I like the silhouette of wearing nerf balls up top once in a while, but it seems to be more of a conversation piece than a good idea. And by conversation piece, I mean I have been asked before by an un-named jock fag (Pete) to wear them during certain gatherings at the house. LOL, he might be wearing me down on that one.

And speaking of my personal jock faggot Pete, who I wouldn't trade for anything because the SOB just might be wearing me down.

"Buzzy, you can't wear that short ice princess hair around me and not expect to cause a reaction."

"Pete, you can't just barge into my bedroom while I'm wearing this very alluring ice princess hair piece and while I'm trying to decide if I should insert my nerf balls for grocery shopping or not. Nor should you grab me by the waist like this. You have made your "reaction" well known to me for quite some time now."

"Oh, so the nerd at the grocery store gets your nerf balls and I get jack, Buzzy?"

"Pete, ugh, can't you just at least be happy that your "reaction" is the only "reaction" that has ever pressed my shirts or something, huh?"

"Well, just let me quick fuck you then, Buzzy."

"Geez, Pete, last week you wanted a quick hand job and then last Wednesday you wanted a quick blow job and now we're moving on to a quick fuck? By the way, using the word "quick" with real women isn't advisable if you want to impress them, Pete. I mean, it sounds like everything about you is "quick" and all, so."

"Well, at least bring me a bowl of popcorn next time and "accidently" give a quick lap dance then, Buzzy."

I mean, you hear it, right people? Pete is quick about everything, right? So, it was time to turn the tables.

"Pete, you need to get out of my bedroom before the "boys" miss you, but if you give me a quick kiss square on the lips, then I will give you a "quick" push back on your reaction, so?"

See? The tables were not only turned, the table was upside down.

"Look Pete, I'm not a monster, so if you leave now and leave me alone to finish dressing for shopping, well, I will post another selfie while wearing a jock strap and the over shoulder eye wink will be aimed directly at you, alright?"

"Well, do you mean the jock strap that you dyed Montana Big Sky blue?"

"Oh, I see you were quick to search for that color and all, but sure, Pete."

"And with maybe more of a body twist like the selfie series you posted before you dyed it? Like with that that much of a front view? And maybe, maybe, maybe, get things, um, worked up down there this time?"

"Oh, um, damn Pete, thanks for calling me, but I was "worked" up in that selfie series."

"Oh, um, so you're never going to give me a quick fuck then, right Buzzy?"

Alright fine, I don't know which the table landed then, but Pete was right about all that. But my story is that his fat jock ass is too big, well, snap, his jock ass is in good shape, but it's still so much bigger than mine, so let's keep my cute tushy on the top of the table!

"Was Pete bothering with you again tonight, roomie?"

"Well Andrew, LOL, it's become the normal, but he keeps it pretty quick out of fear of being caught out, so I can handle Pete. But let's not tell him that I don't mind all of the fag moves he makes on me. And let's definitely not tell him that he's my pitiful sex life. You know, other than Frank the store clerk."

"Oh, trust me, Buzzy, I'm not getting in the middle of anything about all that. I just want to know that you remember the safe word, so I can come running with my baseball bat."

"You mean, PETE, STOP THAT! and all?"

"That's it, Buzzy. However Buzzy, do we need to develop a safe word for the nerd Frank too? I mean, I don't want to get involved in that either, but if you're going to go the grocery store dressed like that and with your medium sized nerf balls up top and all, well you might expect to hear a little something like "squeak, clean up in aisle 2, squawk" or something."

"And how do you know these are my medium sized nerf ball bumps, roomie?"

"I mean, Dumplings sound good and Tracy loves those little cold appetizer shish kabobs that you soak in Italian dressing and we haven't had pancakes for dinner for a while and I think we are out of salt and then there's all the special impulse buys that you make and I need a bottle of hand soap and Tracy said for you to buy stuff for those little appetizers because she has a plan and then we're out of popcorn and I think we could use some."

"Stop, that's enough, Andrew (but thanks for the validation). I'll be back after a while."

I mean, he not only said it, the roomie hit the size of the nerf ball boobs right on the head and all, so. But the silhouette looks nice from side, right people?

"Hi, Store Clerk Frank."

"Um, oh, Buzzy! What's (boing!) up?"

"LOL, you are. Anyways, I could only find one bag of the small shish kabob skewers and I need two or three because the roomie's girlfriend has a plan and an extra package of the skinny pepperoni sticks would be nice too, Frank. I mean, I've had requests to add a second piece of the skinny pepperoni stick pieces to my famous cold shish kabob appetizers and all, so?"

"Oh, right (boing, boing) this way, Buzzy. So, your cart is looking full (boing) and colorful as usual. I mean, your house guests must live the high life (boing) around you."

"Well, they are all the roomie's friends and all and they are sturdy young adult male jocks and all, so you know, they have to eat."

"Um, and Buzzy (boing, boing), do you personally chop the pepperoni sticks into (boing) little pieces?"

"Oh, I do, Frank. I can man handle a skinny little pepperoni stick and slice it into the perfect size, Frank. I mean, my hands might be on the dainty side, but I can man handle a round piece of meat!"

"Man handle my stick, Buzzy!"

"Excuse me, Frank?"

"I said that this larger package of small pepperoni sticks (boing, boing) seems like a better buy for the feeding all the men in your house, I mean, right Buzzy?"

"LOL, hungry wolves, Frank, I feed hungry wolves, which now that I think of it, is just the same as hungry men, but I think of them as my jocks and all, so."

"Well, I just don't know what it takes to get an invite (boing, boing, boing) to your place and all, so."

"Well Frank, I keep too busy man handling meat in my house to develop a mathematical equation that you and the nerd crew could actively discuss with the jocks and all, but I am working on a comparison of the trajectory angle of a center field home run to the relative angle of motion of Asteroid B17-1721 so each team could debate all that. And if I have to lay on my back so that each team could use my nerf ball boobs to demonstrate their meaning of their respective angles, then sobeit."

"Buzzy (boing, boing, boing, boing, nut, clean up in aisle 2, boing, ooh, ahh, wow, I'm so glad we wear aprons here at the store)!"

"LOL, store clerk Frank, you're my favorite nerd and I promise you that when I figure out how to throw a mixer that includes the jocks, your nerd crew and my old geek squad, well, Frank, I promise you that you will be right by my side spanking me."

"Ooh, what (boing, boing, boing)?"

"Thanking me, Frank, be by my side thanking me. Anyways, I'm done here and so are you and all, so."

"Well, I was restocking the carrots and lettuce and all and they come packed with water for freshness and it spills on the front of my apron sometimes, that's all."

"Hmmm, anyways, my roomie's girlfriend Tracy says that it's the 21st century and all and she seems to think that I could visit you at your place someday and all, but I would be shy around your nerd crew and all, so."

"Oh, the nerd is dead to me then (as long as I get to quick fuck you), so you know, stop by anytime you want to and hey, later tonight would be just fine. So, (boing, boing), even though your cart is a little full, go ahead and use Gina's quick fuck lane and all, Buzzy."

"Excuse me, store clerk nerd, Frank?"

"Quick Check-Out, I mean, (boing, boing), Gina's Quick Check Out and all, so."

So, what? Does every fag in Middleton want it quick? LOL, or is it that they just want it quick with me and all?

"Well, I'm still going to shy around your friends and all Frank, so don't expect me to peel your carrots or hand wash your lettuce or anything, Frank."

"(Boing, boing, boing). Um, I need to go the back room, Buzzy, but stop by later (boing)."

Oh, and Gina's Quick Check Out register was yet to come, right?

"Buzzy, that will be $217 and a new record for the 12 items or less lane. You can also have this coupon too."

"Ooh, well, can I use the coupon today? And what's it a coupon for?"

"Oh, sweetie, you can redeem this coupon anytime you want to. It's for one free hour with me and the hubby, anytime you want."

"Oh, well, I'll hang onto this coupon for when the day comes when my cherry pie becomes an apple pie and all, so, wow, Gina, is your hubby this forward?"

"Oh, Buzzy, (weird women boing) your cherry pie doesn't need to change just yet, but the hubby would love it if you would peel his carrot and I'd love to clean your (tiny) kitchen utensil."

I mean, it is the most popular grocery store in Middleton and it's always an interesting trip through the fast check out lane and all, so. So, LOL, I put the coupon in the glove of my SUV and sat up as straight as I could as I drove home to bring my nerf ball boobs into view of anyone who passed me.

And it's always just as interesting back at home in the kitchen with the roomie's girlfriend, Tracy.

It's always just as interesting when Tracey tries to help me out in the kitchen at home.

"Seriously, I got this, Buzzy. You take one mini skewer, start with a cherry tomato, slide a small slice of ham down, cover that with a yellow cheese cube and then stick it to a chopped up piece of the small pepperoni stick and add another cherry tomato and cover that with another little piece of folded ham and jamb a white cheese cube and top it all off with another cherry tomato and then the finishes mini skewer in the jar of Italian dressing once, twice, three times, then lay it on the paper towels to drip dry, sprinkle with crushed black pepper and place them all in this plastic container, snap the cover shut and refrigerate and then later, go all yum, yum, yum!"

Pause the story while I pick myself up from the floor from fainting, please.

"I mean, I usually dip them in the dressing four times, but that was hot, Tracy!"

"Well, you're still living with Andrew and I when we get married and all Buzzy, but I watch stuff. Also, when I say "living with us when we get married", I mean here and all, so. Anyways, go freshen up and change and I'll have a small container of these appetizer shish kabobs ready for you to run over to the nerd's house."

"Um, Tracy, is "change" the same as put on at least a pair capri pants or something?"

"Oh, it's exactly the same as at least put on a pair of capri pants, Buzzy! I mean, you can wear your yellow and black buzzy bee undies for the thrill of it and all, but I'm getting used to your bee hive being un-violate and all, so. I mean, men need sleep, food, water, beer and Boink and you're bringing the snack food and all, so."

"Boink?"

"Well, your nerd friend goes "boing" when he's in front of you at the store, but believe me, he wants to use his "boing" to Boink you, so Denim capri pants might be best, Buzzy."

Anyways, Tracy certainly has more experience than I do and all, so I freshened up, slipped on my best Denim capri jeans, LOL, changed into my smaller nerf balls, grabbed the disposal plastic container of cold appetizers and made my way over to Frank's house.

I mean, he could have made arrangements to be home alone and all, but I suppose a nerd crew be a nerd crew at all times, right?

"(Dude, did Frank bring Buzzy over here so we could all quick fuck him? Also, a quick fuck is the stuff with the feet, right Chad?)"

"(Dude, Frank brough Buzzy here so I give him a quick fuck. Also, a quick fuck is when I go all pile driver on Buzzy and you quickly whacked off in the corner while you watch, Paul.)"

"(Dudes, shut it and leave. I'm on a snack date with Buzzy. Also, I have dibs on Buzzy because I have been whacking for Buzzy for months.)"

Yup, a nerd crew is a nerd crew at all times, right?

"Alright nerd crew, I put six appetizer shish kabobs on a plate for each of you and I promise you that you'll quickly go all yum, yum, yum on all six and ask for more."

"(Dude, Buzzy said six and there are three of us, so?)"

"(Dude, it sounds like twice each to me.)"

"(Dude, we should spread it out with like a quick blow job and a quick fuck each, right?)"

"(Dude, a blow job is like with the shoulder blades, right?)"

"(Dude, I mean, yeah, you take his shoulder blades and I'll take everything else.)"

"(Dude, are you trying to trick me again like you did with Plastic Patti?)"

"(Dude, you married Plastic Patti and all, so?)"

"(Dude, where did Frank and Buzzy get off to anyways? I need me some Buzzy.)"

"(Dude, why? Is Plastic Patti having that time of the month or something?)"

Well, someday I may have to research that shoulder blade thing, but for the moment, I was busy being quickly hustled by Franks in the Laundry Room while the other two nerds were quickly running out of "Dude" things to say.

"Those appetizers are very tasty treat, Buzzy."

"Well, I thought you might like a tasty treat and all, Frank. I also thought that we would be alone too and all, so."

"Well, I'm a nerd and it was pretty exciting that I might have a tasty treat tonight and well, so what if I showed you off the (boing, boing) to other nerds anyways?"

"LOL, it's alright, Frank. And by the way, who knew, right?"

"Who knew (boing) what, Buzzy?"

"LOL, well, with the way you picked me and sat me down on top of dryer and then turned it on, well, who knew that didn't only work for women, right?"

"So, Buzzy, are you saying that you're quickly becoming stimulated and all, then?"

"Well, I'm certainly saying that I'm quickly becoming annoyed with any form of the word "quick" and all, but wrapping my legs around you like this seemed pretty natural and all, so. Also, LOL, even with me up on the dryer like this, out faces are still at the right height, right?"

"Oh, are we making out then, Buzzy? I mean, I do this with my lips, right?"

"Wow, you should retract your lips and be quick about it and then you know, get in a little practice with your nerd whore, Plastic Patti. However, lean forward, Frank."

I mean, with the other two nerds peeking through the laundry room door and all, right?

"Frank, Frank, Frank, slow down, Frank, whew. The guys are peeking at us through the crack in the door and you're dry humping the dryer, Frank."

I mean, I only said that so those two nerds know that when Plastic Patti gets an air leak that there are always back up plans, right. I mean, who know a running clothes dryer could stimulate a guy? LOL, so quickly, right?

"Oh, oh, Frank, oh, are you on your tippy toes, Frank? Hm, hm, hm, you SOB, um, um, um, Frank, um, hm, um, guys, ugh, ugh, don't look guys, ooh, ooh, Frank, Frank, blow so I go Frank, blow so I can go, Frank, ugh, ugh, ooh, ooh, Frank, you're a dawg, Frank!"

"Ooh, grind, Boink, Boink, um, um, squeeze your legs around me tighter, Buzzy, hm, hm, ugh."

"Damn it, Frank, blow Frank, do it. The guys, Frank, um, um, hm, hm, hm, hm, pull me down to your waist Frank, oh, oh, oh, Frank, blow Frank, ooh, I need to go."

"Um, hm, hm, ooh, ooh, ooh, ahh, nut, ahh. Gulp, ahh."

Well, my pie was still a cherry pie anyways. Also, wow, so Frank just blows in his pants and passes out like that then? Um, gurgling like that?

"Huh, I see that you two enjoyed that and I swear, you both better be quiet about things. Put both of your big nasty dicks away, guys."

"I want to take you out on a real date, Buzzy."

"No, I want to take you out on a real date, Buzzy."

"I'll kiss back, Buzzy."

"I'll straight up make out with you, Buzzy."

"Ugh, peek me your undies, Buzzy."

"Ah, give me undies, Buzzy."

"Screw this, my mess on the floor is bigger, Buzzy."

"Hah, you need a canoe for my mess on the floor, Buzzy."

"Well, Buzzy pointed at me when he said to put our nasty big dicks away, Chad."

"That's because your dick is nasty, Paul and he mouthed that my nasty dick was a huge nasty cock."

"Dude, where did Buzzy get off to again? And we seriously need to stop going at each other."

"Dude, damn it!"

LOL, horny nerds, right? I mean, I could hear them carrying with that "Dude" back and forth thing even as I made my way out of Frank's front. LOL, with my cherry pie.

End Buzzy 01