Cocksuckers

This is my entry for the Winter Holiday 2023 Contest

A short Angels & Demons story

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Shit! Once again I'd let people get me into another fine mess. This time Andy was mostly to blame. Though Lily had been far from innocent. Like she was ever... well you probably know about my girlfriend already.

This was their idea. A special musical video for our regular clients. To wish them 'Happy Holidays.' Sounds harmless enough, right?

So, how does that end up with me on lead vocals? I mean, I could sing. All demons can sing, we have natural tone and rhythm. Not like -- I shuddered -- our previous human charge. My ears used to bleed listening to Emily trying to sing in the shower.

But why not Lily? OK, she was more instrument girl. A harp once upon a time, today keyboards. Elena then? She was now a half-angel, maybe that had carried over to her voice. But our Latina friend had insisted the front person had to be a principal of Emma's Escorts.

Her boyfriend had also demured; making a sheepish comment about not all black guys having soul. Soul? What would that mean to a she-demon? As for Whitney? Satan's daughter seemed to view the whole thing as being a little beneath her; though she was much too sweet to say so. At least Elena, Whitney and Bobby had at agreed to do backing vocals, that was something. Tommy? Tommy played the drums, and ex-marines apparently don't sing. So it was down to me.

Andy had a mirrorless digital camera on a small boom; one that could record 8K video. He held a deadcat in the other hand and wore headphones. Even I wouldn't have suggested Andy singing. I think I might prefer Emily's shrieks to his caterwauling. Andy called for quiet and then held up a hand, counting us down silently with his digits.

5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

Lily's fingers connected with the keys and an organ intoned graveyard chords solemnly. She then picked up a more rapid beat, which she overlaid with bass and Tommy came in. The rhythm was familiar as Lily switched to a syncopated English horn. Tooting out an instantly recognizable riff.

Elena, Whitney and Bobby burst in with a half sung, half shouted:

Cocksuckers!

And then it was me:

If your feel the urge
But you don't want grief
Who you gonna call?

The backing vocalists answered spiritedly:

Cocksuckers!

OK. Maybe this might work. Now try to remember the lyrics, Em:

If it's hard as bone
And you need relief
Who you gonna call?

Cocksuckers!

Yeah -- maybe I was getting into this a bit. Andy zoomed in on me:

I wanna taste of your cock
I wanna taste of your cock

I licked my lips lasciviously, if there was one thing demons could do, it was to tease:

If your oozing cum
And you need some head
Who can you call?

Cocksuckers!

The lyrics I had penned with Tommy's help, were kinda ridiculous, then the original hadn't exactly been Shakespeare.

If you want a girl
With her lips wide spread
Ow, who you gonna call?

Cocksuckers!

I wanna taste of your cock
I wanna taste of your cock

If your throbbing dick
Just needs a lick
Then call

Cocksuckers!

I wanna taste of your cock
Ooh, I hear you like the girls

I may have licked the mic at this point. Yeah, I know! Bad idea:

I wanna taste of your cock

Like Madonna, Elena and company were getting into the groove:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Lily went to town on the bridge. She was actually pretty talented. I danced wildly as her fingers flicked over the keyboard. This was actually kinda fun.

Me again. Keep it together, Emma:

Who you gonna call?

Cocksuckers!

Mmm, if you want the suck of a
Freaky slut, baby
You better call

Cocksuckers!

Ow!

James Brown had nothing on me.

Again, Lily's dancing digits drove us forward:

Lemme tell ya something

I'd been looking forward to this bit:

Suckin' makes me feel good!

So true:

I wanna taste of your cock
I wanna taste of your cock

Were we actually going to get this done in one take?

Don't you jerk alone oh, no

Cocksuckers!

I threw myself onto the ground, rock fucking star:

When she comes through your door
She'll kneel on the floor
I think you better call

Cocksuckers!

I was getting out of breath now. Just the big ending. You can do it:

Ow! Who you gonna call?

Cocksuckers!

Who you gonna call?

Cocksuckers!

Uh, think you better call

Cocksuckers!

Ha ha, who you gonna call?

Cocksuckers!

I can't hear you

Puff, puff. Remember your diaphragm:

Who you gonna call?

Cocksuckers!

Louder

Cocksuckers!

Who you gonna call?

Cocksuckers!

Who can you call?

Cocksuckers!

Who you gonna call?

Cocksuckers!

Done! Yes!

Andy held a card up in front of the lens. On it were the words.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

from

Emma's Escorts -- Whatever You Desire

(973) DEM-ON69

And it was a wrap.

Lily spoke up.

"That was nowhere near as bad as I thought I was going to be."

Gotta love an honest, ex-angel.

Andy chimed in. "Just the final bit we discussed."

He started filming again.

I kissed my girlfriend on the lips. "Happy holidays, Lily"

Lily turned and looked into the camera. "Happy holidays, one and all."

-- fade to black --

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THE END

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