Cow Daze Ch. 01

As with most catastrophes, it started with human error. A lab tech at Kent Agricultural Research wrote down the number "8", but, perhaps due to fatigue from the previous night's drinking, did not press down the pen as hard as he should have, resulting in a faint "3". The number regarded a protein level in a sample. Three or lower meant the sample was safe. A five was troubling. And an eight was unheard of. The tech didn't know this. Perhaps if he did, he would have taken more care toward accuracy. He simply read the results, wrote down the data, and subsequently entered it into a spreadsheet.

The sample in question regarded a batch of feed supplements. With no red flags, the supplements went into production and soon left the Kent Agro-Research facility, purchased by feed factories. The supplements went into the mix of hundreds of thousands of bags of food destined for feed lots. For the most part, the "8-batch" dead ended in those lots, as the altered protein became irrelevant in slaughtered stock. But, a few thousand bags of feed went to dairy operations. In those places, it went into the diet of unsuspecting cattle who spent most of their lives anxiously waiting to be milked.

At this point, the carelessness of one was supplanted by the neglect of many. It did not elude the notice of quality control that some cows at these dairy facilities started producing more. Rather than look into it, they counted it as a stroke of luck. The milk was tested for normal pathogens and irregularities, but as a new protein in the milk wasn't a known irregularity, it was easily dismissed.

The milk went from one place to the other, tested again and again. Some saw and ignored, others missed it outright, but eventually the milk made its way to shelves. People bought it. They drank it with cookies, ate it with cereal, and cooked with it. Most of their bodies ignored the strange proteins sneaking in with their daily breakfast. A few, though, didn't. In the chaos of microscopic biochemistry, the proteins found a partner in crime, a defunct virus rendered harmless in humanity thousands of years ago. With new tools, the virus found new targets, and a process which should have taken thousands of years and infinite luck, took mere days.

* **

The Carter Family Camping Excursion, as it came to be called over the years, began with the recently married Miles and Penny bringing along Penny's sister, Becca, for a yearly get away to the mountains. Miles knew the owner of a ski resort, Holcomb Chalets, which did little to no business during the off season. As a result, Miles could get a good deal on a cabin for himself and his bride, and another for his sister-in-law during the summer months. Without fail, they took up residence for two weeks in the Holcomb Chalets for twenty straight years.

In that span, Miles and Penny had two children, Luke and Alicia, separated by two years. In between them, Becca had a daughter, Purity. Purity's father wasn't in the story for more than six months, and no one was troubled by his absence. More years passed and new friends made the journey to the Chalets as part of the Carter Family Camping Excursion. High school friends of Luke's, a couple of Alicia's boyfriends, and Purity's revolving collection of strange pets all made the journey into the mountains. The friends drifted apart when Luke went to college. Alicia's boyfriends never lasted a full summer, and Purity moved on from iguanas to tarantulas.

Miles, Penny, and Becca never minded the company, even as it grew from two cabins to three and sometimes four. Once they reached their teenage years, the kids wanted their own cabin. Miles, while an open minded parent, didn't support having couples sleep in the same cabin, so he added an extra as more and more guests joined the Excursion. The last thing he and Penny wanted was to lose the time together as a family, so they made the trip as accommodating as possible for any and all who wanted to come. And so, the summer before Alicia left for college, the six of the Carter Clan were joined by Luke's semi-serious girlfriend, Kat, Luke's college roommate, Anthony, Anthony's girlfriend Joy, and Purity's chicken, Bertie.

Miles led the caravan in the family SUV loaded with food and booze for a two week stay. He kept the window down despite Becca's protests so he could enjoy the mountain air in June, warm enough to be pleasant without being oppressive. At thirty-eight, Miles sported a short salt and pepper beard with a shock of silver hair kept neatly trimmed. Though he went running most mornings, he usually added ten pounds over the winter months. Despite the provisions in the back of the car, he had every intent of keeping a strict diet for the summer.

Penny, though, hadn't aged a day from the moment he met her. She'd filled out slightly from the pixie girl he met when they both sneaked into a bar, but she was a beautiful as ever. "What'd you think of Joy?" she asked while biting the head off a gummy bear.

"She's nice," Miles said, idly. "Didn't get much out of her. Luke said her and Anthony aren't too serious."

Penny grinned at him, "You know that's not what I meant."

From the seat behind Penny, Becca spoke up, "You know its creepy how you tease him, right?"

"Don't let him fool you, Becca," Penny said. "He thinks about it with every one of the kids' friends. Can't help himself. Lizard brain makes him."

"And you're so different?" Miles asked as he gave her thigh a gentle squeeze. "I'll make sure to note where your gaze wanders when Anthony is out at the lake."

"You can always strip down and have a swimsuit competition," she said. "Wow all the girls with that dad bod of yours. Becca won't complain."

"Nope," she answered. "I've never had a qualm about oogling your husband. He likes it. Soon as you drop dead, I'm moving my stuff in. He won't even notice, except I might put out more."

Penny threw one of the gummies over her shoulder and hit her sister in the face. "I put out plenty," she mumbled. "Answer the question," she insisted, nudging her husband in the arm.

Miles had thoughts about the two girlfriends on the trip, certainly. They'd known Kat since Christmas. She seemed smart, which Miles liked, and it kept his son on edge, which Miles considered good. Penny did that for him, and he didn't think he'd be nearly as successful without it. Miles never brought it up, but his son had found a girl that looked remarkably like his aunt had at that age. Somewhat plain about the face, but wholesome and properly endowed where it mattered. Joy, though, was the sort of thing that got men Miles's age in trouble. Anthony had come on the Excursion every year since Luke went to school, and he fit in well with the family, melding with their sensibilities easily. Joy, though, had come dressed for a beach trip for some reason. She'd wore a bikini top and a pair of cut off shorts which might as well have been a thong for what they managed to cover of her ass. Miles, and Luke for that matter, went to considerable pains to avoid looking at the gratuitous amount of cocoa colored skin available to them.

Anthony found it either amusing or scintillating as he kept goading his roommate to look and even caught Miles's eye with a waggle of his eyebrows. Miles understood that, at least a little. Despite being in good shape, Anthony was even nerdier than Luke, and clearly had little experience with women. Miles thought it would make someone's head spin to go from crushing on the other band geeks to having Joy sit in your lap.

"She's attractive, certainly," he answered.

"Attractive, huh?" Penny said. "I bet you five dollars one of her tits pops out of that top when we get to the access road."

***

A few car lengths back, Alicia sat between Joy and Kat, feeling incredibly aware of the massive boobs to her right. The six of them had squashed into Anthony's car for the ride. Her dad offered for someone to ride in the other car, but all the younger travelers thought it would be more fun to drive together. It hadn't exactly worked out that way.

Luke fell asleep not too long after they set out. Apparently, he'd been up late for a week finishing up his summer interim course. Anthony couldn't hear much from the front seats, either. Purity would normally fill any lull with something bizarre, but she sat in the far back with her chicken, earbuds stuffed in her ears. Kat made conversation for a while, but eventually drifted off. Alicia sensed some tension between the two girlfriends, and while she figured her curiosity would eventually get the better of her, at the moment she simply wanted the Excursion to happen without any drama.

"Hey, how much farther is this place?" Anthony asked, jabbing Luke in the leg.

Alicia scooted up between the seats as her brother roused. "Uh, not too far. Yeah, see where they're turning. That's the road that takes us up to the cabins. Only like forty minutes from here."

"Cool, how you doing, babe?" Anthony asked, looking past Alicia.

"Fine," Joy answered with a smile.

Alicia thought the girl was gorgeous. Suspiciously so. Alicia had a small crush on Anthony when they met, at least until she found out how much of a dork he was. Maybe that was something Joy learned to look past. She nudged her brother, "Think mom and dad will let us all share a cabin this year?"

"Fat chance," Luke grumbled. "They might give us the chicken."

"Aw, I like the chicken," Kat said to herself while gazing out the window.

Alicia glanced back to see if her cousin had noticed. Purity hadn't, but Bertie seemed to be following their conversation closer than a chicken should. Alicia turned back to the front. "I dunno. They said they'd let us drink since we're all sort of old enough."

"They said we could have beer during the day and at meals. I don't think Aunt Becca is going to hang out with us pounding shots."

Alicia didn't know if that was true. Their parents got tipsy regularly and once or twice a year came home drunker than Alicia had ever been. Aunt Becca, meanwhile, seemed a little drunk all the time. She wouldn't put it past any of the adults to throw down with the younger drinkers.

I'm an adult, too, she thought. For the first time, she wasn't the high school girl any more. In a few months, she'd be headed off to college to be on her own for the first time. Doesn't help me much now. Wish I'd brought someone to fool around with, at least.

The earbuds came out of Purity's ears, "Are we there yet? I think Bertie might need to lay. She gets nervous in cars."

Anthony's eyes flicked to the rear view mirror, "No egg laying in my car."

"We're forty minutes out, Bertie," Luke said. He fished his phone from his pocket. "Ugh, which means forty minutes from wifi. Whole mountain is a dead zone. You'd think they'd have service for like lost skiers or whatever."

"They do," Kat said. "Emergency numbers work no matter what."

"I doubt emergency services would be interested in entertaining me for the next thirty minutes."

"We could play a road trip game," Alicia squeaked.

"No," both of the guys said together.

Alicia settled back, folded her hands in her lap, and shut her eyes. After a couple of deep breaths, she spoke her mind about the chill between the two girls beside her. "So what's the deal with you two, huh?"

They both cut their eyes, but Kat grabbed Alicia's hand and shushed her. All three looked at the guys, but neither turned around. They were busy muttering between themselves about directions. "It's nothing," Kat said, eyes fixed on Joy.

"That's clearly not true," Purity said in a whisper, her chin leaned over the seat. "I'm glad Alicia said something, I'm no expert on how girls communicate, but you two are very, very obviously bitchy with one another."

"It's not that," Joy said. "And it's not a big deal. We just —"

"We kissed," Kate said in a quick voice. "Not like a meaningful thing, but we were drunk and thought it would be funny."

Purity stuck out her bottom lip in an exaggerated frown. "How's that funny exactly?"

"The guys were supposed to see," Joy explained. "Like, from a little bit away. We were all drinking, and we wanted to sort of freak them out. But when we did it, they looked away. And so it was just...us kissing."

Alicia nodded, trying to follow how a joke would make them so uneasy. "It was a joke, right?"

Joy's face darkened slightly, and she turned to the window. Kat stared straight ahead. "Right. We shouldn't have said anything, but we did. Let's keep it between us, though, huh?"

"Definitely," Purity said. "I'm sure with no one else to talk to, a lot of drinking, and complete isolation in cabins for two weeks, it won't come up."

"Hush, Purity," Alicia said. "We won't mention it. Like I said, a joke." Kat squeezed her hand. Can't think of anything more awkward than my brother's girlfriend dumping him for his roommate's girlfriend. She looked at Joy, noticing again how pretty the other girl was. I mean, I'd be bi for her. Maybe that's it. Kat's not into girls, but just Joy. Who wouldn't be into Joy? She's stupid pretty. Alicia resolved to chat more discretely with Kat later, but even the short conversation seemed to diffuse the strangeness between them.

Purity commented on Joy's bracelet, which led to a conversation about jewelry in general. Within a few minutes, they somehow had six conversations between the five of them all going at once. Bertie punctuated their comments with soft clucks. Once Luke and Anthony joined the din, Kat tugged at Alicia's sleeve. "It's not what you're thinking," she whispered.

"I'm not thinking anything," Alicia answered.

Kat looked from one of the Lennox children to the other. "I love Luke," she said. "I really, really do. That's why I'm freaked out. I don't know what came over me, but for a second, it was like it didn't matter. God, I can't think of a way to explain. It keeps happening though, in waves."

"If you have to know, I think Joy is —"

"It's not only Joy, Alicia," she hissed. Kat's face had turned red, and she seemed on the verge of tears. "It's everyone."

Alicia took a second to process what she meant. "Oh. Even me?"

"A little," she confessed. "I thought it might be my birth control. Hormones, you understand."

She didn't. Her mother had offered to get her on birth control, but she'd not had a reason to say yes at the time. Alicia told her mother that she'd rely on condoms if necessary. Despite Penny's apparently optimistic view on her daughter's chances at getting laid, Alicia had only let one boy get to second base. Kat kept looking at her, and she figured she better answer, "Yeah, totally. Maybe it'll pass. You're just in your head or something. Not a big deal."

Kat sneezed, breaking up their private conversation as the others shouted out "Bless you." Alicia gave her a nod of support, and then considered what Kat meant by "everyone." Anthony? Purity? My dad?! Shit, my mom?!

***

Something smelled weird. Bertie seemed to think so, too. Purity hopped out of the rear hatch of Anthony's car and took in a deep breath, relieved to finally be away from the strange scent. She didn't mention it to the others because she thought that would seem rude. Alicia was never upset when Purity was rude, but the new girls probably wouldn't understand. Purity learned to speak her mind, that's all. Still, a few bad experiences had drilled some tact into her head after a while.

The cabins looked the same as she remembered them. The owners kept them updated nicely over the years, even tearing one down entirely to rebuild it better. Uncle Miles stood off to the side chatting with the old man who dropped off keys and instructions every year. He'd wave to the family, but never stopped to talk to anyone. Busy, Purity supposed.

She put Bertie down. The chicken immediately found something interesting a few feet away, hopping off. Purity didn't worry. Her pets had an unusual proclivity for surviving. Ottoman, the snake she'd had between the ages of ten and twelve, lived in one of her mother's boots for six months. They never figured out how it ate or where it pooped, but they didn't find mice bones or tiny snake droppings anywhere, so it didn't matter much.

The others, like Bertie, seemed glad to be out of the car. Kat kept looking at everyone with big eyes. Purity thought it strange, but she didn't know Kat very well. Her cousins were in deep conversation with Aunt Penny, and Purity's mom was digging through the bags of groceries while holding a champagne bottle in her hand. Anthony had his nose in his phone, and Joy stood off to the side, looking out of place and at a loss for what to do.

"You are pretty," Purity said. The light bounced off Joy's skin making her near luminescent. Purity also liked her style. All the others looked nice, if basic. Purity stuck with t-shirts from podcasts she listened to. Joy, on the other hand, looked nearly naked, and Purity admired that.

"Thanks," Joy answered. "What'll we do now? Should I get my bag?"

"Oh, we have to drink champagne. It's awful stuff, cheap. The first time mom and Miles and Penny came up here, they couldn't afford anything better than something from a gas station on the way up. They toasted the holiday and kept the tradition. At least, that's what mom says. I don't remember it when I was little, so I think they started it about the time I was ten, which I remember because I had Ottoman at the time. They said champagne would kill him, so he couldn't have any."

"You had a stool?" Joy asked, a little wrinkle above one eye.

"Gosh, even when you're confused you're pretty. How do you get on with that? I have boys bother me sometimes, and I own a chicken. I couldn't imagine getting through the day looking like you."

Joy looked a little distressed, "I don't mind. People are nice." She paused, looking at Purity as her smile faded. "You're serious, aren't you?"

"Yep," she answered. "People look at me and see chicken girl. That's nice, I like it. Because if I want to not be chicken girl, we can have Bertie for dinner. Then I can be someone else. You can't though, and I bet that sucks sometimes."

"Yeah, a little," Joy shifted, clearly uncomfortable. "It's why I like Anthony. He can get those stars in his eyes, but a few minutes later, he looks at me like he actually sees me."

"How come you dress like that, then?" Purity asked. Bertie pecked her leg, demanding to be picked up.

"Anthony said to dress for volleyball," she answered. "Thought he was serious. Not even sure why he said it."

"Probably wanted to show you off. Anthony's very insecure."

As she said it, Anthony walked over and put his arm around Joy. "What're you two talking about?"

"How insecure you are," Purity answered. "Why'd you trick Joy into wearing a bikini?"

Anthony looked like he wanted to crawl into a hole somewhere, but he was saved from the moment by Miles knocking his keys against the bottle of champagne. A pop followed, and Becca cheered. Anthony deftly guided his girlfriend away from Purity, but Purity didn't notice. She'd caught a whiff of the smell again. As casually as possible, she drifted toward it, until she leaned near Kat's shoulder and sniffed.

"What are you doing, Purity?" Luke asked.

She shrugged at him. "Thought she was wearing perfume." Purity reached out to touch Luke's face, but he wriggled away from her. She liked Luke. They'd had some differences as kids, but he was as much a brother to her as to Alicia. And Purity never got tired of pestering him.

She stepped to the side as her mother came around with small paper cups. "Oh, dear, sorry sweetie, I thought I brought one for everybody."

"It's fine. We'll share." She scooted closer to Kat and grinned at the other girl. Becca shrugged and moved on.