- Romance
- Cuddle, Kiss and Comfort
- Comments
All Comments on 'Cuddle, Kiss and Comfort'
by trigudis
- 9 Comments
Nice story I could see this going to a chapter 3 or 10! I would still like to know more about this couple you have introduced me too.
Cheers
SAGE
Nicely done, I want to see more of their relationship develop. Hopefully there will be followups to the followup :)
This could go on quite a long time.........
Very nice, sweet story!
****** stars!
Burninglove
More please! A true very romantic and touching story of two lonely broken hearts finding each other and coming together as one ❤️❤️
your issue as a writer is that you don’t know when to get out of your own way.
You’re a great writer. But saying something like, “a figure that could use some sweat equity to stave off the weight gain endemic to middle-age, female bodies.” to describe the mother, is not only sexist and fatphobic, it adds literally NOTHING to the story.
Reading that line initially threw me off so much that it killed my mood and I only came back to the story later, because I was so shocked that I wanted to see if you had any other crazy lines.
Another line that only became distracting was,
“Not to be sexist, but a few women are into high-end stereo equipment.”
Like what?! lol. She’s not living in her own house and you don’t need to explain why there’s good stereo equipment. You could still make it a sentimental moment in which she explains the origin of the equipment as she starts to play a record or something.
Also, to be clear I’m only offering this level of critique because you’re a talented writer. There’s a lot of poor writing on these sites, but you actually do it well, just get out of your own way with the weird stuff.