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Click hereWhen Lily and I finally came down the stairs, on slightly wobbly legs, my partner Sasha had let themself in and was already in the kitchen making dinner. They had dough rising in a bowl, cheese out for gating, and was chopping mushrooms. I bound across the room for a hug. They returned it with only one arm until they set down their knife.
"You have to see my nest! It's perfect!" I said, practically vibrating in their arms. "Lily was so helpful, and it's so cozy, and perfect for cuddles!" Sasha squeezed tighter to keep me from bouncing them to pieces. They held me in place like I didn't have a couple inches on them. Through our embrace I could feel laughter bubbling out of their chest.
Behind me Lily chuckled. "You should try it out, Sha, it really is its own little world."
I stepped back so Sasha and Lily could share a hug and a peck on the lips. Sasha stayed there, arm around Lily's waist, and grinned at me. In their untucked blue flannel and cargo pants they looked like a curly haired lumberjack. But kinda short. A dwarf and an elf cuddling.
"I'd say you and I should break it in, but sounds like you two already did?" Sash looked up at Lily. "Did I miss out, waiting for you two to come down?"
Lily shook her head. "It's only for cuddles, Nico says. Very important. Although," Lily pulled the neck of her shirt to the side, exposing the bite mark that was crossed by the Wartenberg wheel's tracks, "Nico has an interesting idea of what cuddling means."
"Ooh!" Sasha poked the freshly bruising bite, making Lily squawk and flinch back.
"I know full well what Nico's version of cuddling entails." Chuckling, Sasha came over and kissed my cheek. "Looks like you had a good time."
"You know I don't think I've ever been in bed with someone, come away with bites and scratches, and not even kissed them?" Lily smiled at me. "It was novel. I've got to go but I'll text you days that work for me and some ideas for our date? I want to see if I can earn that kiss!"
"A date?" Mischief smoldered in Sasha's eyes. "One of you is going to be given a run for their money, and I'm not sure who. I can't wait to hear all about it." Fuck, I started to blush. Again!
Lily had another hug for me, and a lingering kiss for Sasha. "We should also plan a time to hang out, helping Nico gave me some ideas!" Lily said, slowly stepping away from Sasha.
"I bet they did. Can't wait." Sasha walked Lily out.
I got some water and leaned on the counter. The scratches were tickling my back. My shirt rubbed them when I moved; temporary tattoo reminders of the afternoon with Lily. It'd had been a lot of fun, I still couldn't believe today happened, and was looking forward to this nebulous upcoming date. What was it going to be? She said she'd reach out, so I didn't need to do anything about it. Right? She was so much more adventurous than I was, what was she...
Sasha startled me by rubbing my shoulder. Thankfully I didn't spill any water, that would have been a lot, just then. They pulled me into another hug, their body on mine. A loose curl tickled my cheek. It also felt really nice for it to be just Sasha and me. That hug had a special kind of quiet that didn't happen when other people were around. Our breathing matched. I could tell they were slowing their's down for my sake.
"Good day?" They whispered into my ear.
"Good day. Unexpected and full. I'm a bit unbalanced right now." I rubbed my hands on their shirt. "I'm glad it's just you and me, lumber-dwarf."
Sasha popped up onto the counter opposite their prep work. Wispy, dark blonde curls escaped from the bun high on the back of their head, coiling like springs where they hung. They were half a head taller than me up there. "I guess that makes you a hobbit."
My partner reached out and pulled me back into a hug. Leaning in, my head rested on their chest and I squeezed my arms tight around their waist, the best body pillow ever. They hung their arms over my shoulders and rested their chin on my head. "But you're good?"
Squished there, against my partner's body I found a little more balance, covering the knot of chaos that was living in the bottom of my chest. "I will be. Like I said, unexpected but good."
"So, bites and scratches, but no kisses?" Laughter filled their words.
"I thought about it, but Lily challenged me. She suggested I wanted to kiss her, and she was being all toppy and smug. There was no way I was going to after that," I mumbled into Sasha's boob.
"But you really wanted to, didn't you?" Sasha chuckled, making my head bounce. They ran some fingers down my back, making my shirt rub against the scratches Lily left there. I shivered and hummed happily, it was a lovely reminder of my time with Lily. It also made me feel unsettled, today had been so full of strong emotions and unexpected adventures.
"So much!" I said, looking up at my partner. "She is really good with the claw. Also, she had me blushing as soon as she walked in. Didn't even have to try, just 'I'm here to help and I know what I'm doing and not making a big deal about it.' When they saw why I was blushing, they tried to make me do it again. They are so mean," I said, grumbling the last bit.
"You mean except how they helped make your bed super cozy and broke your brain with scratches, right?"
"One hundred percent." I looked up at them and Sasha leaned down to kiss me. Perched up on the counter, Sash made me feel small and safe, especially with their legs wrapped around my back to give an extra squeeze. Kissing them pushed down some of the chaos I could feel building in my body. I hugged back, pulling myself into their kiss, trying to disappear into it.
"I love you being taller than me. Maybe I should get Lily to help me put in a pair of yoga swings so you can kiss me like this all the time." For emphasis I pulled them closer to the edge of the counter for another kiss. As an added bonus, they had to wrap their legs around me just a little tighter to stay balanced. Like this, I was able to press against them without knocking the countertop.
"Yeah, that would be really nice." Sasha chuckled. "That could be your date," This beautiful lovely human wove their fingers into my hair and gently tugged to tilt my head up into a deeper kiss. If I could have turned Sasha into a blanket to wrap around me, at that moment I would have. They were so warm and safe.
"So, did you win by not kissing Lily?" They asked when we broke our kiss. Their nose inches from mine, eyes crinkled in mischief.
"Of course I won!" Indignation welled inside of me. "It wasn't easy, I really wanted to. That cute, smug butt!"
"I don't know, you seem to need kisses more than normal. Maybe more than garlic bread."
"Oh, I won! She set a challenge, whether she meant to or not, and I met it. Besides, if I happen to be in greater need of kisses, that's a win for you. And fuck you, garlic bread is delicious!" I bent my left hand so its nails dug into the small of Sasha's back. "Are you feeling left out?"
"That doesn't work on me the way it does on you, remember?!" A grimace passed across their face.
"Much as I wish it did," I said, leaning my back head against their chest. They smelled good, like sun-warmed flannel and early autumn leaves. Their fingers in my hair loosened as we relaxed into each other.
I could feel tension welling inside me again, the unexpected course of the day must have left me more on edge than I thought. It was fun, being flustered, then flirty, and having those cuddles full of intimacy and teasing that marked our bodies and left them glowing. Stiil, now I was having trouble settling myself down, and I could feel it bubbling out of me.
Snuggles with Sasha lasted only a few moments before I bit them on the top of their breast. Hard enough to make them gasp and yank on my hair, but not hard enough to leave a mark.
"You brat!" They tilted my head back. The excitement dilating their pupils was mismatched by the surprise in their voice.
"Yeah, but I know what works on you." With big eyes I looked up at them, looking as innocent as I could, and tried to lower my head again only to have it yanked back. "Are you saying you don't like bites?"
Their hands in my hair kept me from moving, and my look morphed into a wicked grin.
The flannel shirt Sasha was wearing had been pushed up their body while we kissed. It was nothing to get my hands under it and squeeze hard on their waist. I wasn't feeling bashful and flustered by a sudden crush like I had been with Lily, this was reconnection time with my partner. Snaking my hands up their sides, I tried to tickle them, hoping they would be surprised into letting me go. Instead, they clamped their elbows in, trapping my hands. With my head and hands stuck I wiggled my body, hoping to shake something free. Sash just shook their head and clicked their tongue three times.
"Where do you think you are going?" They said through gritted teeth. Sash was working hard to keep me trapped. I knew they liked the power of being taller than me, but I also had them trapped on the counter.
Stalemate.
The pressure on my scalp would not have been so rough if I hadn't been trying to pull free, but I really wanted to bite them again. Knowing I looked like a maniac, I bit at the air and giggled.
With my body trapped I couldn't do anything when they left quick kisses on my cheek and forehead. They were grinning down at me.
"You want more cuddles?" Sasha asked, moving a hand to hold my chin. "Then you need to show you can be nice about it. No more bites!" They emphasized this with a jerk of my hair. They still had their legs around me, too. I was truly stuck.
"But biting is so much fun!" Still, I stopped tugging and looked up at them. Taking a deep break, I stopped trying to escape. Sash still had my hair in one fist and my chin in their other hand. I was trying to show I could settle.
"I can behave," I said, taking another big, slow breath. "I was just excited to see you." As I said this, Sasha relaxed their pull, if not grip, on my hair so I could lean forward. With my chin tipped up, I did my best to project calm and well-behaved. They chuckled and gave me a quick kiss.
Definitely over-stimulated from the earlier adventure with Lily, and excited to see Sasha, I felt nervous I'd gone too far. What if they had wanted to catch up at the end of the day instead of deal with me being bratty? Sasha was amused by a project turning into a hardcore cuddle session, that I was confident about. But the rest? Maybe I was being too much, starting this game right away. I hadn't planned to, but Sasha was a person I could stop masking around. It was safe to be this kind of crazy with them, and they said what they needed and I had heard them. My mind was spinning too much.
Slowly, I leaned forward to press my head into their chest. They still had their hand in my hair, but it was a softer control they exerted, loving and protective, instead of defensive - but still cautious. I had flashed from penitent to bratty enough times that they would make sure I was actually calming down.
"I'm sorry for getting over-excited right away when we came down. I should have checked. There were a lot of emotions today, as good as it was, and it's been over stimulating," I whispered. Sash's chest was as comfy as ever. As I breathed in the smell their day filled me up and slowed me down. I picked up some of their own scent, that undefinable smell that is unique to a person. I felt my heart rate drop. Sasha's hand no longer felt like it was ready to defensively grip my hair, instead they created a comforting pressure with their palm and pushed my head into their chest. Their other hand moved between my shoulder blades giving me a good squeeze. If a human could be a weighted blanket, it would be them.
"I got you," they said. "It was a bit much, that energy right away after you came down."
"Sorry," I whispered.
"But," they continued, over me, "I know you, and am not surprised, based on the bit I've heard about your day. Nor am I hurt. You don't need to make anything up to me. But, if you feel like you have to, tell me about how you have a date coming up while I make dinner." They put their hands on my cheeks and tilted my head so I was looking at their face. "Also, I'm getting hungry."
"Okay, but one thing first." They let go and I leaned into their neck, almost like I had done just a little before with Lily. I needed to fill my lungs with them one more time. Their scent wasn't anything I could describe to another person - like cinnamon or woodsmoke - but it was Sasha's smell. Layered with that was falling leaves and warm flannel, my favorite season mixed with my favorite person. After a slow breath out, I gave them a small squeeze and pushed back.
"You smell so good." I smiled up at them "What's for dinner?"
They hopped off the counter and started to chop the mushrooms again. "What's for dinner? You spend the whole day galavanting," they looked at the stairs that led to my room and smiled, "and have the audacity to demand food from me?"
"Fuck yeah I do!" I said, taking a seat on the other side of the island.
Sasha moved easily about my kitchen, they'd made so many dinners here it was practically theirs, and set about finishing the pizza they were making. I sat back and watched them work. As the sausage cooked, they kneaded the dough into shape, the side of their hand massaging it thinner and thinner. I imagined them doing that to me and shivered.
They rambled about their work at the park, getting things ready for winter. I'd heard them talk about planting seeds of grasses and flowers that needed the cold of winter to germinate, and pulling up invasive plants a million times. It never got old.
"There was a new retiree volunteering today," Sasha gossiped, leering at me. "A man!"
"A man?" I gasped, bringing my hand to my neck, clutching pearls in dramatic shock.
"A man! Not bad looking for 65, either. Paulo? I think? Anyway, Janice and Martha could not be more helpful."
"Hah! I bet not. I get Janice, prowling after a divorce, but lonely widow Martha? Good on her!" I stole a piece of cheese and got glared at for it.
When the pizza was consumed we cuddled on the couch to watch a show and digest.
"Let me see what you two accomplished upstairs?" Sasha said, grinning at me.
"It's so great! I can't wait to show you!" I blurted, going from a contented puddle to a blur of excitement, hopping off the couch and pulling them with me. "I'm calling it my nest, and it's almost perfect!"
"Just almost?" They ask, arching an eyebrow.
"You'll see. C'mon!" I pulled them through my house, from the living-room, through the kitchen, and up the stairs to my bedroom. Soft curtains hung from the ropes strung between the hard points Lily and I had installed in the ceiling. With the fairy lights plugged in, and the overhead off, the curtains seemed to float on invisible posts around my bed. It was my soft, cozy space, tucked away in my room, hidden in my house.
Sasha whistled through their teeth when they saw it.
"That's really nice. You two did a good job!" They ran their fingers across a curtain, and stopped before parting it. "May I?" They asked and inclined their head to the entrance.
"Of course! climb in." I bounced in place as they disappeared inside and another whistle sounded.
"It is cozy in here!" They said from behind the curtains.
I poked my head in, closing the curtain around my neck. Sasha was already reclining across the width of the bed, perpendicular to how Lily and I had napped earlier today. They were spreading out across my blankets and had moved some pillows behind their head. Sasha was so lovely, I could just imagine their curls heaped over their head as they actually relaxed, instead of posing for my benefit.
"Now it's perfect," I said and climbed in. I straddled their hips, cupped their head in my hands, and kissed them. This was a different kiss from earlier in the kitchen. My hands along their jaw and cupping their head was not a sign of possession but of christening this space as the sanctuary it was meant to be. This afternoon's impromptu touching and cuddling with Lily had been a trial run. Now, with Sasha, I'd be able to really make the space my own.
"Yep, now it's definitely perfect," they echoed, wrapping their arms around my back and returning the kisses. I wasn't nervous like I had been with Lily. Sasha was my person. Their kisses were familiar and comforting, like an old sweater that always fit just right. Cuddling with them, and being kissed, I felt some of that knot of chaos inside me melt away. I needed them, not in the out-of-control way from the kitchen. I needed them because their presence made my nest even better, cozier.
"Can I have skin? I'd like to feel you against me," I asked, breaking the kiss.
"Of course!" Sasha smiled up at me. "Is tonight a playful night or a squish your soul back into your body night?"
"Yes?" I sat back up to take my shirt off. "I want to please you as a way of reconnecting, and because it feels normalizing. I also need squishes because today has been a lot! Not bad, it was a really good day, but a lot."
I flopped off Sash onto my back, feet poking out of the nest's curtains, to give them room to take their shirt off. Just mentioning the events of the day made my heart start to race and my brain spin a little. I closed my eyes and took a long breath. After a few moments of shifting around, Sasha rolled over and put a hand on my chest, adding a smidge of pressure, helping me reregulate. A few deep breaths like that and I was level-ish again.
"Why are you still in pants? I thought you wanted skin," they said as they straddled me, minus their pants and shirt. The warmth from their naked legs on either side of my waist and the hand still on my chest was better than a weighted blanket. More curls had escaped their bun and made Sasha look like a wild person. I pulled their hips onto mine, the pressure doing even more to recenter me. They shivered at my touch.
"How are your hands so cold!" Sasha glared at me but didn't move.
"Just for you!" I said with a wicked grin. "How did you get naked so fast?"
After planting a kiss on my forehead, Sasha sat up. They were gorgeous as they sat there, comfortable in their body and the space it occupied - The perfect mix of compact strength and warm squish. Even as concern crossed their eyes, I was drawn to the curve where their neck met their jaw. Tense jaw muscles worked as they also looked down at me. I wanted to kiss them right there and make that worry disappear.
"You were in your head for a moment there," they said. "It looked like you were centering yourself again. I know you had a full day. Do you want to just chill?" Leaning down, hands resting on either side of my head, they looked down at me. Even with concern filling their eyes, they looked so good.
"Not a bit!" I pulled them down to me, so their breasts pushed against my chest. "I want my time with you! I meant what I said, I need my soul squished back into my body, and I'm also not leaving you wanting!"
"You don't--" they started.
"I want to! It may not be a lot tonight, maybe more akin to a blowjob than what we usually do. Assuming you," I paused on that last word turning it into a kiss, "still want me to?"
They kissed me back. "I mean, if you are only saving that energy for Lily..." they said, leaving that thought hanging there, but mischief sparkled in their eyes.
I tickled them and they flinched, rolling onto the bed. Grabbing Sash's side, I stole some of their momentum. Despite trying to get away from me, Sasha wound up trapped with my hand on their shoulders, being pressed into the bed. I abused my newfound power and leaned down to bite their breast.
"Play nice!" Sasha yanking my hair and I leaned towards them, into the pull, deepening the feeling.