Email Report on Pastor JP Enis

From:

To:

Date: Sat, 22 Nov 2008 1:28 pm

Re: Investigation into Loving Church and Pastor Jonathan P. Enis

Sheriff,

Pursuant to your instructions I have compiled my report for the investigation into Loving Church and its longtime pastor Jonathan P. Enis. In conducting my investigation I worked diligently to uncover any details or clues that might confirm the complaints we received in several letters claiming the church is nothing but a front for a brothel.

After first meeting Pastor Enis, he turned me over to his wife, Virginia who welcomed me with open arms and legs. Like me, she was very interested in probing the deepest, darkest recesses in as many rooms of the church we could in an effort to find any pertinent evidence. While nearly all of our meetings were mutually and often simultaneously satisfying, we found we both needed some more exotic investigative means to continue our search for evidence.

I must say Virginia often bent over backwards in helping me, but in time I found she did her best work on her knees with me right behind her. I was then able to probe her again and again, often shaking the very foundations of her beliefs. My penetrating thrusts often left her reeling for answers but I made sure I kept a firm grip on her so she couldn't slide away too far. While my direct questioning often sounded like the rhythmic slapping of two bodies together, Virginia withstood the tumult. Yes, while the investigations with Virginia were always vigorous, I found the climax of each of our meetings left us both breathless in anticipation of finding a clue.

After a few days Virginia and I determined different tactics might be nice so we shifted to some intimate oral investigation. It was here I found she was exceptionally good at head, ah... I mean to say, she had a good head for investigation. She has a magical way with her tongue that can take you to the edge of comprehension and just seem to dangle you there until you can take no more. And when I ejaculated any information, she immediately swallowed it up.

Likewise, I found her dripping with pertinent tangy information as she often arched her back and flooded me with it all. During our oral investigation she often pressed her information to me, grinding it on me until I had to gasp for air before sliding my tongue back in. All in all I think I found our oral investigation even more satisfying than our other investigation.

While my investigations with Virginia Enis were exhausting as we found ourselves satisfying our curiosity in practically every room in the church, I told them I needed more. Having heard of their Young Adult Program I asked them if I could perhaps take a fresher, more pristine approach. Feeling the need to proverbially "pop the cherry" of this investigation I talked to Virginia and her husband about continuing the investigation with a less experienced member of the church.

They introduced me to Sally Lingus, an attractive, devoted member of the Young Adult Program. In fact, she was a brand new member of the program, having turned eighteen just a week earlier. The Pastor and his wife assured me Ms. Lingus was pristine in the church and that she might have just the opening to let me break into my investigation.

Still looking for some evidence that the church was a brothel I continued to come, finding the same answers dripping off the soft skin of Ms. Lingus. These answers all climaxed at the same finding, this was a perfectly wonderful church with no sign of wrongdoing. Sure Sally fumbled a bit, but when I really probed her for the first time, pressing hard, she moaned a bit, and I could tell it was painful, but in the end, with a bit of oral encouragement, she was just as satisfied as she was satisfying.

Once we made our big breakthrough, Sally Lingus was wide open to my investigation, often making some wonderfully adventuresome suggestions. I was often left aching from the twists and turns Sally wanted to look into while investigating. Our investigations were ecstatic, but still we found no evidence of even the slightest hint of overt sex or immorality at the church, certainly nothing that would even begin to suggest that the church was a brothel.

In closing, while I must thank Virginia Enis and Sally Lingus for their tireless, wanton and very wet help in the investigation I must report all our contacts were unfruitful. Although I was perhaps remiss in not being a bit more prophylactic in my investigation, both women were diligent with their pills and no unwanted results ensued.

It would be wrong to call the investigation a failure, no quite the opposite, I feel I was successful in exonerating the church and the pastor. In addition, some of the techniques I practiced with Virginia Enis and Sally Lingus will aid me in my future investigations.

I do have one recommendation considering the letters we received about the church. Not wanting to ignore these people, I feel we should continue our investigation at the church. In an effort to satisfy the letter writers that we have taken every step imaginable to satisfy them, I am willing to carry on my investigations at the church with as many of their young adult women as they have available. I have actually heard that some of the women will put on investigative shows for inquiring deputies.

Anyway Sheriff, pending your confirmation of the need for my further investigation, I will file this case in the appropriate place.

Sincerely,

Deputy Bob Plumb