Falling for Jessica Ch. 03

"I don't think I can do this!"

"You're doing fine, just push a little harder." The doctor said trying to calm Jess.

"C'mon Jess, you can do this. Just push, okay?"

She nodded quickly and started pushing harder as she screamed in pain.

"Oooh my god! Is that the head?" Adrian dropped to the floor and passed out.

I so didn't take him for the passing out type. I felt like I was in some sort of dramatic Lifetime flick. Here I was in the hospital with my husband spread across the floor, passed out. And the woman I'm in love with was having my husband and I baby. How did things get so complicated?

"Say hi to your baby boy!" The doctor was smiling as he presented us with the crying new born. I started crying along with the baby, my baby boy.

"Go on, hold him. You've waited nine months for this little guy."

I kissed Jess on the forehead and finally held my son for the first time. I can't explain the feeling. Holding your child for the first time is the best feeling ever. I was overwhelmed with emotions. One minute I was laughing and the next I was crying. Just staring at the tiny human being in my arms was amazingly unreal. I love him so much.

"I think it's your turn to hold him."

"Maybe you should wake Adrian first. I think he should hold him before I do."

"Are you kidding me? You've carried him for nine months, fair is fair." I handed her the baby.

"God he's so cute!"

"Look at his eyes."

"He has my eyes." Jess cried.

"He's your son too Jess."

"No, he's not. He's yours and Adrians."

"You will always be his birth mother but if you won't take that then I want you to be his godmother if that's alright with you. Please?"

"Sure, why not." Jess finally smiled and made my heart melt.

"What did I miss?" Adrian asked, getting off the floor as if he didn't just faint five minutes ago. It was funny seeing him get off the floor after the fall he took.

"You missed our son being born."

"Trust me, I saw enough."

"Here, you should hold him now." Said Jess.

Adrian grabbed our son and held him for the first time. He didn't stop smiling for one second. Jess and I sat there watching him talk to the little guy. I then glanced at Jess, she looked so happy but sad all at the same time. I wish I knew what she was thinking. Maybe she felt misplaced in everything that was going on.

I leant in and whispered in her ear, "I love you so much."

She exhaled as if she was holding her breath the entire time.

"Hey, what are you guys whispering about?"

"We're just discussing optional names for our son."

"Right! What are we naming him?"

I looked at Jess. "I think we should name him after your dad. You said you always wanted your first child to be named after him."

"But he's your...."

Adrian cut her off before she finished her sentence. "He's your son too. I mean look at him, he has your eyes. Amina is right, we should name him after your dad."

I looked at Adrian in shock. I didn't expect him to understand right away why I wanted to name our son after Jess's dad. I guess he felt it was only right as well.

Jess nodded in agreement. A few tears ran down her cheek. She was so emotional that day, we all were.

"Then it's settled, his name is Anthony. It even starts with an "A" just like ours babe." Adrian pointed out. He was beyond excited and truthfully, I don't know if I've ever seen him that happy.

Eventually, we all grew tired. The nurses took Anthony for tests and monitoring. And we decided to leave and let Jess get her rest. For some reason, I felt like I was abandoning them both. I didn't want to leave but Adrian and Jess talked me into going home and getting some rest of my own.

The ride home was full of chatter. Once we got home, we were too excited to go right to sleep. We stayed up and talked about our son. I remember thinking we would never have the opportunity and now we have a son, crazy right?

That night I dreamt of Jessica all night. We were making love and she ran her tongue all over my neck as she brought me to orgasm after orgasm. I wished the dream was true but unfortunately ever since that day in the kitchen, we distanced ourselves for real this time. It really was the right thing to do but I couldn't stop dreaming of her every single night since then. I barely saw or talked to her unless we were all at a doctor's appointment together. It was hard but I realized I wasn't ready to leave my soon to be family. I didn't want to start a full-on affair and hurt her more than I already have. I think I'm cursed with loving her but I'm confused. How did I go all my life never being attracted to women and then she comes along and makes me fall in love with her. And why does loving her hurt so damn much?

"Wake up babe."

"Wh...what's wrong?"

"Nothing, everything is fine. But my car won't start so I need to take your car to work."

"But I want to go to the hospital today."

"I know, I can drop you off so get up and get ready. I have to be at work in a hour."

I quickly arose from bed and walked in the bathroom. I got undressed, tied my hair up, and hopped in the shower. Fifteen minutes later I got out feeling somewhat refreshed. I threw on a fitted green shirt and dark blue jeans.

"You ready?"

"Yeah." I was ready to leave but I couldn't help but noticed how large my boobs looked all of a sudden. They kind of took me by surprise.

"Okay let's hit the road."

Twenty minutes later we were at the hospital. "Get out." Adrian joked.

"A bit harsh, don't you think?"

"Just kidding. Love you, give me kiss." I kissed him and got out the car.

I was excited to be at the hospital. I walked happily all the way to the room and when I made my way inside, it was empty. At least that's how it appeared to be. I called out and heard Jess say that she was washing up.

"You need help?" I asked, trying my best not to sound like a perv.

"Umm no I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine. Look Jess, if you need help, I will help you. I won't do anything idiotic, I promise."

"Okay but don't laugh."

"Why would I laugh?" I asked walking into the bathroom. She was standing there naked. She didn't even look like she just gave birth less than 24 hours ago. Her body looked amazing.

"Because...I'm legitimately scared to wash between my legs."

I laughed a bit. "Do you want me to?"

She nodded yes. So I grabbed the rag out of her hand. "Wait...just...please be gentle, okay?"

"Of course."

I began washing her softly, making sure I was careful not to hurt her in any way. I tried not to look at her body in a sexual way but it was impossible. I couldn't get over the fact that she looked as if she didn't just have a baby. I looked up at her face and her eyes were closed while her hand held on to my shoulder.

"Am I hurting you?"

She opened her eyes and looked at me. "No, it feels good...but in a nonsexual way."

I smiled at the quick comment and finished washing her up. "All done!"

"Thank you Amina."

"No problem. I'll let you get dressed in your gown or are you being released today?"

"No. Doctor says I have to stay a bit longer but tomorrow they'll release me. And Anthony of course."

"That's great."

"Yeah."

We both kind of stood there stupidly and I left the bathroom before it got too awkward. I went to sit down in the chair next to the bed and picked up a magazine to read. I opened it with the intent of reading it but Jess's naked beautiful body clouded my thoughts. I didn't even hear her when she came in.

"Where's Adrian?"

"Work of course."

"He still been working a lot lately?"

"Yeah. Seems like more than usual now. But maybe having the baby at home will slow him down."

"I'm sure it will."

"Jess, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"How is it possible that your body is like perfect after everything you just went through?"

"Oh my god I was thinking the same thing when I took off my gown in there. I was for sure I was going to have a fat pouch but I honestly don't know. I've read stories about women who don't gain weight right after child birth but I didn't think I was going to be one of them. I looked like a fat cow when I was pregnant."

"Don't be silly. You looked beautiful, you still do."

She smiled and thanked me for the compliment. "You look beautiful as well. God, what's up with your boobs? They're huge!"

I don't think she meant to say that last part out loud because she quickly covered her mouth in embarrassment. I can't lie, I wasn't expecting that to come out of her mouth but I just laughed at her blunt remark.

"I know, I noticed them this morning. I don't know what's going on. I thought maybe it was the shirt but I guess not."

We both were laughing and talking as if nothing ever changed between us. The attraction was still there but it seemed even stronger than before. It was undeniable and she was making me wet just by looking at her. I had to control myself and not let her see that she was effecting me in any way at all.

"You okay."

"Yeah, why?"

"Because you've been squirming around in your seat for the last five minutes now."

Damn! Well that certainly blew my cover.

"These damn seats are just so uncomfortable." I tried to lie my way out of the fact that I was turned on by her.

"Well come sit on the bed. There's enough room."

"Okay." I cringed my teeth. Being that close wasn't the best idea but I couldn't really say no after I just told her the seat was making me uncomfortable. I sat beside her and tried to get comfortable but in order to get comfortable I needed to scoot from the edge of the bed, which meant being even closer to Jess. Did I mention it wasn't a good idea?

"I have something to tell you Amina."

"Sure, go ahead."

She was quiet for a minute so I looked at her and waited for her to speak. "I'm thinking about moving soon. I was offered a job in Boston and I'm pretty sure I'm probably going to take it."

No words. I felt sick to my stomach. I ran into the bathroom and puked my guts out. I felt Jess behind me. She pulled my hair back and rubbed my back. Sounds familiar, right?

"Are you leaving because of me?" I asked, damn near in tears.

"No, it's a great opportunity, you know? Better pay and a new start."

"What if I didn't want you to leave?"

"Then I won't." I can tell she meant it.

"No, go. I'm being selfish. I want you to be happy and if moving to Boston makes you happy then I'm happy for you."

"You know, I'm going to miss you so much."

"I'm going to miss you too Jess."

We sat there on the floor hugging each other like she was leaving tomorrow. Maybe she was. I didn't dare ask her when she was leaving. I didn't want to know. It would hurt too much to know exactly when she would be gone.

"Hello?" One of the nurses was bringing Anthony back. Jess got off the floor and walked out to greet the nurse. I quickly rinsed my mouth and joined them.

"Hello there. Just bringing this handsome little fellow back to you."

"Thanks. How is he?" I asked.

"He's great! We're going to run some more tests later on and tomorrow you guys can go free."

"Great!"

"Okay so I'll see you guys later. Let me know if you need anything."

"Okay, thanks."

Before she left the room she turned around and said, "Oh and let the little guy sleep in. Poor baby been up all night crying."

"Okay." Jess and I both said in unison.

"He's even adorable when he's sleep." Said Jess.

"Yeah, he looks a lot like you. Look at his little nose and lips."

"I can't believe he got my eyes. It's very rare in my family to get green eyes. My great great grandfather had green eyes and after he passed away no one had green eyes until I came along."

"Well you are a rare one."

"I guess so is he."

We stood there in silence just looking at our baby boy. It was fascinating watching him and the little movements he made.

"Are you hungry?"

"Yeah I haven't ate yet."

"Me neither. I didn't have a chance to. Adrian had to use my car and drop me off here. He had to work."

"What's wrong with his car?"

"He said it wouldn't start."

"Oh."

"So what do you want to eat?"

"I don't know. I'll eat whatever you eat."

"I have the taste for Chinese food."

"But you don't have the car to pick it up."

"There's a Chinese place a block from here."

"How convenient." Jess said wickedly.

"I know right. You want your usual?"

"Yeah but with a side order of crab rangoon."

"Okay, I'll be back soon."

So I began making my way downtown, walking fast, faces pass and I'm home bound. Haha sorry I couldn't help myself. No seriously I started walking to the Chinese place when this guy pulled up beside me and started harassing me.

"Oh baby you're so fucking hot. What's your name?" I ignored him. "You know, should let me eat your tight little pussy. I bet you would like that."

I continued to walk and ignore him. Soon he got the hint and sped off after calling me a stuck up bitch. Guys can be such assholes. I was glad this place wasn't too far. I made it there quickly, ordered our food and surprisingly got the food back just as fast. I made it back safely, thank god. There's so many weirdos out there.

"Took you long enough."

"Yeah right. That was the quickest fast food run ever."

"I know. I'm so ready to eat."

"Me too."

We sat there and ate like savages. The food was so delicious.

"You are an animal." Said Jess.

"Look who's talking. You're the one with food on your mouth."

She wiped her face with a napkin. "Did I get it off?"

"Nope. Here, I got it." I grabbed the napkin and wiped her mouth.

I noticed Jess smiling and asked her what was funny.

"Nothing. You're just so cute when you're trying to take care of someone. That's how I know you're going to be great at this mom thing."

"Why thank you." We both laughed at my imitation of a southerner.

Then Adrian came in the room. He had his hands behind his back like he was hiding something.

"Hey you guys."

"Hey what you got there?" I asked.

"Flowers for the beautiful ladies."

"Awww how sweet of you to think of both of us. I thought you didn't get off work until later."

"I did but I took the rest of the day off to be with you guys. Now where's my son?"

"He's sleeping."

"Oh so what you two been up to?"

"Nothing just talking and eating."

Adrian looked at the empty containers. "How did you get Chinese food?"

"She walked."

"Yeah, I walked."

I don't know why but Jess and I were acting so silly. I think we were just giddy and excited to be around each other.

"You too are so goofy. How long has he been sleeping?"

"He was sleeping when the nurse brought him back and that was about an hour ago, right?" I turned and asked Jess.

She nodded.

"I'm hungry. You think I have enough time to grab something to eat before he wakes up?"

"Yeah. Go ahead, I'll call you if he wakes while you're gone."

"Okay I'll be back in a minute." Adrian left Jess and I alone again.

I walked pass Jess over to the bed and sat down. She was standing there awkwardly looking at me. "Is something wrong?"

She looked down and spoke but I didn't hear her. "What?"

"I said I'm leaving next week."

Again I felt sick but this time I just sat there in silence.

"I'm sorry. I thought I should tell you. I love you so much Amina but being here with you, not being able to kiss you or touch you is too much for me." She walked over to me and lifted my chin so that I was looking at her.

"I thought you said you wasn't leaving because of me?"

"What I said earlier was the truth but right now, at this very moment...it's too much. I want you more than ever right now. I want to kiss you...but we've already fucked up once and I don't want that to happen again."

I got up and went to the bathroom. I sat there on the toilet seat, covered my face with my hands and cried. I wanted to hate her but I couldn't. I'm in love with her.

I heard her come in but I didn't uncover my face. She kneeled between my legs. I could feel her staring at me and next, I felt her wrap her arms around me. I gave in and hugged her back. She kissed my wet cheeks and let me go. She wiped my tears and looked at me for a second before planting a quick soft kiss on my lips. She got up to leave but I grabbed her wrist. I don't know why she thought it was okay to kiss me and walk away. I wanted more.

I got up and kissed her which began a full-on make out session. I missed her soft lips. I nibbled and sucked on them. She grabbed my breast tightly and I gasped in pain.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's okay they're just a little sensitive I guess."

She pulled down my shirt to kiss them but she stopped. "Why'd you stop?"

"Amina your nipples are leaking."

I looked down and she was right. I didn't know what was happening.

"I think you're pregnant."

"No! That's impossible. I can't get pregnant."

It was impossible, right?