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Click hereHe simply stared at me with his massive face expressionless and flat.
“Will she be okay? I don’t want to just leave her.”
“I don’t know. Mistress will come back to check on her when she feels better. Now you-“
“Now I go home, I know, I know.”
I said a silent goodbye to Amber and, with a wounded heart and a broken soul, jumped away.
- COMMENTS
Well that was...disturbing. Get yourself a proper editor and you'll be well on your way to being one of the best authors on the site.
Clearly you're one of the few talented writers here.
Well that made for difficult reading. Definitely not much of a turn on, but very well written.
That chapter was just incredible. You have a Harry Potter book in you.
dude that was borderline sick, it got the point across but holy shit that was sick.
I'd really like to see how this plays out! Quite an intriguing twist!
Dude... just wow. That's some good good writing.
Side note, just to help you out, you misspelled "wrapped" in the scene where the paladin grabs the door handle. Doesn't bother me, but I always notice spelling stuff so out of respect for your story I'm letting you know. Thanks again for the read.
I wasnt completly sure about this stoy until I read this chapter. Absoultly masterful. The fear, the regret, the anger. Perfect.
I simply can`t fit in words, how wonderfull your writing is. I really got lost in your storry; the way you write, the storry goes direktly into the mind. I haven`t got better words to explain it. I never ran across anything even close to your quality; not on the net and not in "real" books. And I read a lot... Do yourself a favor and keep writing. In general I mean, not only this specific storry. Thanks a lot.
This has been a tremendous read,from start to finish, chapter to chapter. I have been routinely giving each chapter a 100%, and right from the start, I have been impressed with the obvious intelligence of the author. It is with trepidation that I submit a mild criticism. I have noticed a few grammatical errors, and I am sure that they are from carelessness. I didn't feel it necessary to mention anything unless it appeared more than once. With that in mind, I would point to the proper use of (your. you're)(to.too)(losing, loosing)(there, their). These are insignificant nit-picking points, and should not detract from your wonderful story.
I couldn't take myself away from your story. if at any time you get published, I would like to know. I will buy it immediately. I
I have been an avid reader for years, I have never ever left a comment on any story I have found on literotica, however after reading the chapters you have from start to finish I couldn't not write about how excellent I found your storytelling. Your writting is clearly novel-worthy.
In response to Good Idea I thought the story was extremely well thought and well written any more torture may have turned readers off. There is a sarp line their and I thought that you walked it perfectly from beginning to end.
Truly an amazing story. PLEASE write more.
Man, that was fantastic..... I couldn't stop reading.... What happens next??? That was probably good enuff to be published..... great work..... hope to read more of the story soon