All Comments on 'Hayden Mansion (aka Dungeon)'

like the story line a lot. but use less CAPS! it's not nessary every other word.

The story has seeds of greatness, but an editor might help. As the last comments said, the caps for emphasis are unneeded. Try italics or underscores or such; perhaps scan other stories for hints?

Good looks into the mind of the girl, might open up some of the thoughts of the man as well.

Looking forward to more.

The caps definitely need to go - very distracting, for an otherwise pleasureable story.

Your story is so good that I didn't notice the caps until I read the other reviews. I like it because it has enough different elements to keep it interesting and flowing without choking me on leading up to their encounter. One note, though, is that stealing $60K seems a little unrealistic. He would have punished her for $25 and she would have liked it. Overall good job.

The story is very good, but the CAPS are very distracting.

I enjoyed your tale! The BDSM you placed within it was delicious. :) Don't worry too much about the CAPS comments. I understood that you were using them to show emphasis in certain words. When they were in the dialogue, and you were pointing out that M Hayden was yelling, I'd say use the caps. For other words that need an emphasis there's always bolt and italic. ;)

I plan to read more by you now!

First of all, I have to admit to some bias here, as the writer in question just happens to be my slave/fiancee. However, even objectively, one would have to admit that she writes an excellent BDSM story. The caps might be distracting a bit, but they do not take away from the quality and sensuality of this tale. Since it isn't my story, I suppose that I can get away with reviewing it. Mr. Hayden should be having some fun with her for quite a while, I expect.

This Blast from the Past certainly earns a 5, even if I wish she would write more stories.

this constant capitalizing of words is really annoying. your story would flow a lot better without them!