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Click here"It's been happening less and less as time goes on. Although there was a spike after our last 'incident'." She at least had the grace to look contrite as she mentioned that.
"I still want to know how this thing works."
"Run your finger all along the edge clockwise to deactivate the glamour. Also there's a question I want to ask you." She knelt down on one knee. "Stephen...Run your finger counterclockwise..." As I did, the background around the picture shifted to a school ID, black and gold with the picture of a knight with the text, University of Silvermore, Where Dreams Become Reality, in fluorescent embossed dye.
"Would you do me the honor of being my roommate next semester?"
Running my finger clockwise changed the portrait to one of my inhumanly black eyes and fluttering wings. I wanted her to look in my eyes and not my glamour's before I answered. Brie followed suit and I was soon staring into her black orbs glittering, fat with emotion and vulnerability.
"Brie, I would love to." I sank to my knees as I wrapped her up into a soul searing kiss. After an all too short eternity we separated and I looked at my new ID over her shoulder.
"So magic huh?"
"Yep," she replied as she kissed me and bent me backwards as she cradled me to the floor. Lucy barked once at a passing car as we lost ourselves in a loving embrace.
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Author's Note:
I had two goals when writing this story. 1: Create a more believable emotional connection between the two main characters. 2: Don't end with a cliffhanger.(It's so easy and tempting to do :P)
I think I've succeeded in doing both, but let me know what you think in the comments below. I'm not currently planning on doing a sequel to this story but they may show up as characters in a different one. (Although, don't be afraid to ask questions, I'll probably respond if you're polite/curious enough.)
Next on the docket is Forced Changes Ch 5 which currently maybe a third of the way done.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story and please rate and/or comment below.
~capn_doggy
- COMMENTS
This was incredibly well-written, I just have one critique:
You know the "show, don't tell" principle of storytelling?
In the beginning, all the good things about Brie were "told" as memories narrated by the main character, while all the things "shown" about her were that she was (perpetually) late, that she could dish out the banter but couldn't take it, that she made fun of things he disclosed for _her_ sake, ... Even her original text message comes with an "Really life? Already? You can't give me ten minutes to myself?" exclamation from the main character, immediately setting a negative tone.
Feeling the trust and their close friendship is very important for a story like this, and at least for me, Brie kind of set off alarm bells at the beginning that never completely went away.
“I shook my head, at war with my fledgling instincts. My dick ached as I felt the need to dominate Brie, to make her bow before me reverently...
I refuse!“ i wished so bad his instincts took over here and he dominated her.. sigh..
“ My proud and beautiful friend would never, should never be subjected to that. I'd rather isolate myself, than that.” the friend that changed you into whatever you are?
“She was fishing yesterday to see if I would be up for giving it a go. She's attracted to my submissive personality but she lusts for the female form.“ rethinking it, she did ask him if he ever thought of being a women and he wasnt opposed. Plus when she gave him the vial she did indeed say its supposed to change male to female.
“My eyes widened as a bolt of inspiration struck me.
What if I wasn't the queen?” Damnit! I hoped it would be different but its been leading to this anyway with his Uber submissiveness..
"Losing your dick, though... It's the last remnant, are you sure?"
"You're worth it," I stated, voice firm despite my churning gut.“ To summarize, she changed him into a women/monster, he makes her more beautiful and gives her full control over himself, then removes his own dick to please her? This is bordering on insanity/worship and not submissiveness anymore lol. He already had the pussy she liked so why…
"We'll also spend some time talking about that something new I see in your pants and why you've been hiding it from me." She at least had the grace to blush. “ sigh why are all women in your otherwise amazing stories all liars.. she made him/her remove his without telling him about hers..
"Informed consent time Stephen. This is your last chance to say no and have me take you seriously. Otherwise, I'm gonna assume it's you playing or pushing my buttons." The silence hung heavy in the air.” Shes right hes teasing her and then begging /resisting not to do stuff like a 12 yr old child.
“This was the first time I had been this naked, this exposed, to another person in my entire life.“ oh so he was a virgin? No wonder hes acting so childlike.
"Stephen... trust me. Things will work out if you just let this happen. Relax." The last word fell over me with that little extra oomph that only she could provide.“ uhh finally.. shes behaving so normal and this dudes all the over place when its about himself yet so sure and determined when it comes to pleasing her.. another zombie…
“Take it slow. Take it slow take it slooOW.....
She penetrated me in one insistent push“ uh? What happened here lol.
“Just because she can do these things doesn't give her the right! ...Calm down. We're both learning, don't be angry at her without talking about it first.” Did she not throw him against the wall and fingerfucked him painfully? And now again..
“ A dancing bear that you could command as you pleased.” i dont get it? One point she says im at your mercy queen, you can overpower me as much as you want queen, hell she even gave Brie the control over her body when transforming her, she didnt even mind being thrown at the wall, but her cumming is where she drew the line? Where she felt like a toy.. sigh
While not my normal genre..., an excellent story that could, and should be continued. I would have liked to see Stephen keep a functioning male anatomy, I mean who better to fertilize the Queen. Keep writing you do have a talent for it.
I would love to read about their first semester as roommates!!! :D