by jman_bigdaddy
Interesting premise... a little (lot) too rushed. No character development, world building, nothing. I do recommend slowing down, and let the anticipation build.
Cheers,
Guenhwyvar
I really really enjoyed the first story. So much can be written with this story. Please continue this story!!
A great story could have been a fantastic story, as enchanted clothing and even enchanted children's toys are my my favourite nicke category. The only thing wrong here was it was too rushed. Please continue this amazing story and flesh out this chapter. Well done I look forward to the reading your other submissions.