- Reviews & Essays
- How Sex Really Works
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Click hereHi All, Blozo here.
I'm a fat old retired Registered Nurse who hasn't had an erection in ten years.
I write some pretty wild fiction.
And I use a lot of descriptions that other authors use too. It never fails that someone in the comments section gets all bent out of shape about the fact, and I hereby stipulate that it is a fact, that what I'm describing is anatomically impossible.
Their condescending lectures, full of crap they copy pasted from who knows where, are frequently just as wrong as the crap I made up to give people who don't care about that shit an erection.
So here, point by point, in no particular order, is the truth as I know it.
And I know it all quite well.
1. Penis Size
The average penis was just under seven inches long the first time I checked, according to a study from a military hospital that was considered the most authoritative at the time.
This number has been increasing over the years, some speculate from hormones in our food supply, or possibly natural selection, woman theoretically preferring a larger penis, although definitive research on that point is lacking.
I've since seen other studies that stated other numbers, including one as low as 5.5 inches. None of them stated a higher number.
Treat any study on this you see with a skeptical eye. Ask yourself who funded it and why, how many erections they measured, and what they did to stimulate the men to erection.
I just can't see most men achieving a maximal erection in a clinical setting where accurate measurements can be obtained.
In thirty years of nursing, the largest penis I ever saw was over 11 inches in length, and thick as a red bull can.
I know this, because one of my less ethical co workers measured it while he was knocked out for treatment of his priapism, which is that condition the Viagra commercials warn you about, an erection lasting longer than 4 hours in the absence of direct stimulation.
I personally use this unfortunate man as my guide, and do not depict a larger penis in my stories.
Such a penis is exceptionally rare. In my experience 95% of penises are smaller than my own, which measured just under 8 inches when it could still stand up.
For those of you, and there will be a lot of you, who don't believe me on that, send me a message on the discussion forum email, and I will provide you a link to a short movie of this particular old man banging an equally old lady in the back seat of my truck. I'll warn you, you had better want your proof very badly, it isn't a pretty sight.
2. Black men are hung, White men are not.
False. On both counts. I've seen the full range of sizes on men of all races, relatively equally distributed.
The unfortunate man referenced above was white.
3. Viagra
Viagra, or sildenifil, is a drug used to treat erectile dysfunction, but it was originally invented to treat a very specific blood pressure problem called pulmonary hypertension. So this isn't a drug that you can take a fivefold overdose of and expect a happy ending.
It carries a huge list of unpleasant side effects, such as warmth or redness in the face, neck, or chest, stuffy nose, headaches, stomach pain, upset stomach, nausea, diarrhea, memory problems, back pain, an inability to differentiate between the colors green and blue, loss of hearing, ringing in the ears, and dizziness.
And it carries a somewhat shorter list of truly hideous side effects such as chest pain, hypotensive crisis, acute myocardial infarction (heart attack), with or without death, and priapism,
See the Penis section for a nice description of priapism, then picture large bore hypodermic needles inserted in the corpus cavernosa of your penis in a desperate and usually unsuccessful attempt to drain the blood, before you go taking any viagra that you don't really need.
Now the big erotic story lie. You don't take a bunch of viagra and have your dick spring up. It requires the same kind of stimulation your dick would have required back when it worked normally. No stimulation, no erection.
4. The Vagina
The vagina is an incredibly resilient structure, composed of a tissue type called Stratified Squamous Epithelium, unique in the body to the vagina and the esophagus.
The vagina proper is seldom deeper than 3 inches at rest, although exceptions occur.
The vagina stretches both radially and axially to accommodate the penis, but not as rapidly as some erotic stories depict. There are other body structures in the picture here, such as the suspensory ligaments of the uterus, bladder, and ovaries.
The amount of bowel that needs to be displaced can be significant, and it has its own attachments.
This is why, in real life, no one plunges his long thick penis in to her vagina in one powerful thrust. The elastic limit of some of these tissues would be reached, and tearing could occur at any of the above mentioned points, or even the walls of the vagina itself.
These tissues do however, stretch relatively quickly. If you will watch a pornographic movie of a man with an exceptionally large penis, you will see that initially, he is able to insert a few inches. If you fast forward 5 minutes or so, his depth of penetration will be much greater, and some women may even be able to fully accommodate him.
Thankfully, trauma to the vagina such as minor tearing heals more quickly than other tissues of the body, including your skin.
Lastly, "Her smooth silky vagina" isn't smooth at all. The inner wall of the vagina is covered with wrinkles called rugae, which do a wonderful job of retaining lubricant.
Without the rugae, the vagina would probably feel no better than a plastic sex doll.
5. The Cervix
The cervix is a thick, generally round structure, located on the anterior (Front) wall of the vagina near the bottom. It is not a straight shot in from the opening of the vagina.
What I like to call in my stories "The little opening in her cervix" is called the External Os.
The Endocervical Canal is the passage that leads through it in to the uterus, or "Womb".
This passage really isn't much of a passage, you would be hard put to push a pencil through it.
The canal is usually plugged with a fairly solid type of mucus called Operculum, which is dissolved by a constituent of the semen (Some stuff in your cum) to allow sperm through, and by blood from the thinning lining of the uterus to allow menstrual fluid out. (That bloody looking stuff that comes out when she gets her period.)
When a doctor places an IUD or a lapraroscope for a transvaginal proceedure, they dilate this passage carefully, and these objects of much smaller diameter than even the skinniest penis can be placed in the uterus. When a woman gives birth this passage dilates to an enormous size, but the body has a process to achieve that, which I will not describe here.
Now here's the important part. You can NOT shove your dick though her cervix in to her uterus, unless something has gone HORRIBLY wrong. Nor can you just smash your dick in to it, yank on her ass, or any of the other devices I like to use to get your cum to shoot straight in to her womb.
I personally love the imagery on this little lie, but in reality, if your 10 inch dick was slammed all the way in to her vagina, the glans of your penis would be an appreciable distance past her cervix, and your urethra would be oriented at about a 90 degree angle to the external os.
It's just not happening.
8. The Uterus.
There's no sex happening in here. Period. Even if you could get your dick in here, and you can't, the lining of the uterus, or Endometrium, would make the bloodiest damn mess you had ever seen, and she would most likely be in excruciating pain.
The only thing relevant to an erotic story going on in here is pregnancy, and possibly, but not usually, the moment of conception. The way most of us describe the moment of conception is pretty fake, although except for the fact that everyone in my stories who gets pregnant does so immediately, (it can take days for fertilization to actually occur) I'm better than most.
I think it has more pop to it if I say it happened in the womb, and it can, but it usually occurs in the fallopian tubes.
I personally do not feature penetration of the penis in to the uterus in my stories, but I know some do.
7. The Testicles and Semen
There's no "Cum" in your balls. Anywhere from 2 to 5 percent of your semen is sperm, and everything in your semen that isn't sperm is produced and stored somewhere else, and semen isn't even semen (cum) until it's all mixed together.
Sperm produced in the testicles collects in the epididymis, that thing you can feel through your bag that's on top of each of your nuts. From there it passes in to a tube called the vas deferens, which is the item they cut to give you a vasectomy. It then passes in to the ampulla.
And now we are in the body. The rest of the process is even longer and more convoluted, so I won't cover it here.
The takeaway is that no one's balls are aching to be emptied in to her welcoming whatever, another little device I love to use, but it isn't true.
"My ejaculatory ducts ached with a blah blah blah" just doesn't have that punch to it.
Another big erotic story lie has to do with the volume of the ejaculation. My characters ejaculate enormous amounts. I know it's a lie, but I think it's hot, and I'm the one writing the story.
The truth is the average man ejaculates about 5cc's. Some more, some less.
Exact data on maximums is non existent, but I'd be willing to bet almost no one is making 10.
That half a condom full of semen you see in the porno flicks is fake, just as fake as the rivers of semen pouring from the vaginas of the characters in my stories.
See the section on the cervix above, and it's pretty obvious that if you ejaculate 10 cc's, 9 and a half of them are going to end up on the sheets.
Some men produce as little as one cc and still manage to effectively impregnate women. In reality, you need not even ejaculate, there are plenty of sperm in your pre seminal fluid to do the job. While pulling out does decrease your chances of impregnating a woman, it is by no means effective enough to count on.
There are a lot of other things, like the misconception that the vagina and the rectum share a membrane (They don't) and that women squirt vaginal lubricant when they orgasm (You don't want to know what it really is) but I'm kind of up against a page break here, so I won't get in to it.
To those of you who genuinely wanted this information to enrich their base of sexual knowledge, I thank you for reading my work.
To all the trolls whose inane comments prompted me to write this, I hope you are satisfied that I don't need your fucking anatomy lesson.
Thanks all!
Blozo
- COMMENTS
I know a lot of these things in some amounts- like how the vagina becomes erect like the penis does and it's considerably shorter until then- but you did a really amazing job explaining them clearly and concisely. (Though I do also fall on the side of if it makes me horny who cares if it's accurate lmao ie yeah. I know the womb is a bloody fleshy place but something about even a "sacred" party of the body being intruded on is kind of hot) (I'm also irrationally enjoying teaching AI how to do sex bad)
Your information sure shoots down most sex stories. However it is important to have real information. Your mind can still visit the porn stories. The mind can take us places where no other goes, can't it?
However, I do have real 38DDs. I guess I'm a real exception!
Orpheum69
Honestly, it's good to have a realistic take on things while acknowledging that YES... we break away from reality. And yes, I know what women really squirt out. Nice reminder of how the inside of a vagina is like... forgot. This is what ten years without being in one does to you. Might use that.
But good to have a take on it. Still gonna break a lot of ideas about reality in my stories. Also, as a fun little thing, there are these sort of "regimens" guys can do to have bigger loads. Usually by taking supplements. Might love to hear a comment on why zinc can make them blow some outrageous loads. Seriously, I've seen some vids where guys with average equipment can fill a couple of shot glasses.
I have to say - I loved reading in your story when they're talking about pulling out (Daddy didn't pull) that all of the pre-cum fluid already contains enough sperm to impregnate someone. That little bit of detail and realism, along with the fact that they hymen isn't some mystical barrier a couple of inches inside, but rather a quasi-elastic membrane right at the entrance really make the other "suspension of disbelief" items much easier to accept.
Cool - THANK YOU for helping us normal people feel...a little more adequate!
A Simple Biological Function
"This business of love. You have devoted much literature to it. Why do you build such a mystique around a simple biological function?" ~ Star Trek Episode "By any other name."
Nurse Blozo takes us beyond the myths and bawdy locker room banter and exaggeration to present a fascinating exposition of the biological basis of erotica.
I rarely give a 5 for anything but for you good Sir, in honor of your public service, take my 5 and my thanks! Good on you for bothering as this may be the only sex ed some degenerates on this site ever get. And I use the term degenerates lovingly here and not in a derogatory fashion as I am one of those degenerates.
Thank you, this information was interesting and well written. You’re right some of the miss information is very titillating and sexy even if we know the truth.
The one that always makes me laugh, is where the guy shoves half his ten inch dick in, and is then blocked by the virgin's hymen.
It's hard to take someone seriously when they know so little about female anatomy!
Thank you for writing this. I have no formal medical training, but owning (a very nice) vagina (when I grew up everything was called the vagina, cause us girls were just holes or boys missing something) I was interested at a young age on how she worked.
How correct you are that people write without knowing what they are writing about. To me reality is really really hot.
The sex organs develop in utero long before they differentiate. Boys and girls start out with all the same parts, and a set of tubes they don't need. Boys have analogues to my girl parts, my head, my shaft, my spongy bodies, and to my Bartolins and Skenes that nourish and lubricate sperm.
Get a girl nice and excited and blood will rush to those glands and she will produce lots of lube. Get that muscle around her Skenes to spasm (as in an orgasm) and the lube will be expelled. My own field (actually mattress) tests show every girl I know can do it but quantity and force vary. It's quite tasty, but have an empty bladder unless you like champagne.
I appreciate your knowledge base - your fiction’s good, but nothing wrong with cutting through the formulaics and offering some facts. Thanks!
Thank you for this essay. You probably broke some hearts with it but it should be a big help to most folks.
I have the tiniest imaginable experience with things in my butt. I know that anal sex is a big deal in porn, but I wonder if some reality is in order.
I have experimented, fewer than a dozen times, inserting small dildos into myself. One was penis-shaped, and no more than 5-6 inches long; the other was a "prostate stimulator" that was skinny and short, but had a knob on the end that was supposed to rub my prostate. I've done this because it is supposed to be sexy, but the little pleasure I got was hardly worth the effort.
I think I learned 2 things: nothing goes nicely without lots of lube, and something small, moving in and out VERY slowly, feels kind of interesting; but longer, wider, and faster in-and-out feels terrible.
Do long penises actually pass entirely though the rectum and pop out into the colon? Is that a good idea?
Does the sphincter suffer permanent damage, or loss of function, if stretched too often, too widely, by sex?
One reads that some women never orgasm vaginally, and some men don't orgasm when blown. How many men and women would not likely ever orgasm from being butt-fucked?
Inquiring minds want to know! Thanks in advance.
That makes me feel so much better about my grower which is a mushroom cap when soft and a whopping 4" hard. FML.
knew most of this but learned a lot more thanks, I do wish you would have put something in about the hymen as there are so many that don't have a clue where it is
I wish I had a 8 inch piece of Meat .. I went to Highschool with a Guy who could have been a Porn Star .. Sadly My Locker was next to His ..
"Many men (and women) are curious about the average penis size, but Dr. Abraham Morgentaler took it to the next level. He conducted a study on over 15,000 men to create a chart of the average size – and the good news is, you’re probably better off than you think.
The study found that the average length during erection is 5.16 inches (13.12 centimeters) and the average flaccid length is 3.6 inches (9.16cm). As for the girth, the average value is 4.59 inches (11.66 cm) when erect, and 3.66 inches (9.31cm) when flaccid."
Pretty much every study ever conducted has 5 inches to 5.5 inches as the average size. Those of us 7+ inches are in rare terrority, not the norm.
Yes, assuming the penises are of sufficient size and are positioned at similar depths in their respective orifices.
While the "membrane" may not exist, as you say, "the wall of the vagina where it parallels the course of the rectum."
So doesn't that mean that a penis in the vagina could feel a penis or dildo in the rectum through the vagina wall?
I wish it were impossible to access Literotica stories unless you first read this article by Blozo. Maybe the comment by Anonymous signed RKM, also. New to me was the data on the divider between rectum and vagina.
Observations
I had to Google to find that 5 cc=1 teaspoon.
I knew from my investigations going back to before the Internet era that average penis length was under 6". I just now checked WebMD which referred to a 2015 medical journal article that surveyed 17 studies involving a total of 15,500 penises, which were measured by medical professionals using a standard procedure. Average flaccid length -- 3.6 inches. Erect -- 5.2 inches. Circumference (around): flaccid -- 3.7 Erect -- 4.6 (this is about 1.5 diameter/across).
I would be interested in blozo's comments on hymen/cherry placement. After reading comments on stories, some time ago, I checked online, finding the hymen at the opening /mouth of the vagina. This would mean that Literotica stories with the penis 1 or 2 inches into the vagina before hitting the hymen, would be incorrect. Although blozo allows for medically incorrect in his stories for the sake of fantasy. I suppose Literotica would be boring (or less interesting) if everything were medically/biologically correct.
Also needed in this biological realism discussion is female breast size. I just now Googled and found a chart giving average breast sizes for U.S. and many European countries. With two exceptions they were all B (eg U.S.) or C (eg United Kingdom). However, myself, I wonder if bra sizing is consistent among different countries. Interestingly, WebMD says fat determines breast size. My daughter and son-in-law are both medical doctors. I wondered about breast size affecting milk production (is the baby of a small breasted woman shorted?). Their view was that the milk producing part of breasts is about the same regardless of breast size. (In other words, more fat in the breast does not increase milk production.)
Thanks for a much needed dose of reality to Literotica.
Paul in Oklahoma
A great unrealistic story. The original and not this educational white paper. I never mention penis size and the squirting stories are laughable. I spend a lot of time on breasts, but even there the largest I've ever used is 36 D bra. Thank you for providing the information in this paper, and I hope a large number of authors make use of it.
Finally, the truth wills out!
I have railed at several authors and commenters who believe in the ‘continuous tube’ arrangement of the vagina and uterous ... with a narrowing as the dividing line.
What you do NOT mention, that I think is of interest, is that human female orgasm is adaptive to the primary function of the reproductive system. It provides a muscular spasm in the cervical area that repeatedly dips the cervical area into the pooled semen (assuming a ‘male superior’ position.) Essentially, it favors the sperm donor who pleases Sweetie over other semen donors who do not. (Lover edge over Sugar Daddy)
A good work of writing should be based on facts or something that looks like facts, so your essay is a good support for our reading, I much appreciate your work. We must have our feet on the ground, not have them in the air, to make the writing look like a fairy tale.
About ten years ago I used to give "The talk" to 5th grade boys for the local school system. That was the last time I checked for the answer to their most common question. My information came from a large study out of Walter Reed military hospital and was considered the most authoritative study to date.
You state your study was small, that's a problem. You further do not state who funded your study and why. I stand by my words.
For an article which purports to set the record straight this seems extraordinarily sloppy, which is a pity because you chose to make it your first 'fact'. Perhaps you should 'check' again? I know of at least one international condom manufacturer who would be quite surprised by this 'fact'. It is well-established that there are differences between some races-you could easily have 'checked' on condom sizes sold in the far east, for example. You categorically deny that black penises are bigger but make no reference to the (very limited) New York study on this subject which suggested that the difference is small but real.
'The last time I checked' sounded like that famous academic cop-out, 'I found absolutely no evidence that...' which has caused much hilarity over the years.
25% of men, myself included, back when I could, ejaculate in that manner. Most do not.
Another commentor stated that the woman cannot feel the man ejaculate. These two subjects are linked. Women can and do feel the penis of men who ejaculate in this manner throb as they ejaculate.
For the other 75% of men, the woman can't really feel the ejaculation per se, but is likely to realize what is happening from other cues.
Go to any porn tube site and search for throbbing creampie, As I stated earlier, this manner of ejaculating is not the norm, but it is common enough.
Hi Blozo, I too have been annoyed when reading how a character has pushed his 14" cock into a womb, such crap.. I would disagree about the spurting not being real as you mentioned in your comments, I’m in early 50's with a girlfriend 27 years younger, and she always enjoys the visual show of being covered in cum. I think it started from her not wanting it in her pussy, to enjoying seeing it squirted across her body. After a week of sexy phone calls between us, and no abusing oneself for a few days before we meet, I know I have pulled out and in excitement have spurted considerable content across belly, breasts, head and further, often hitting the wall at the top of the bed, at least 4-5 feet away.
The oozing you mentioned is after the third or fourth time on the same day, not much left.