Love for Leona Ch. 13

A couple of nights later after walking the streets for over an hour she made her way to a small café in Smith Street that was open late.

Her acute depression had returned and she was engulfed in terrible feelings of despair. Earlier that afternoon she had telephoned Dr Golde but was told by his secretary that he was attending a conference in Alberta, Canada, and would not be available to see her for another ten days. Nobody was there for her, she felt. She had great difficulty in rejecting a bout of self-pity; she was alone and lost.

Whenever Gareth Hamilton pushed himself into her mind she pushed him back out again.

She seated herself at a table by the window from which she could see the road outside. The street was dark and almost empty. She ordered a strong coffee and a toasted sandwich and waited for her order to arrive.

Looking around the café she noticed another customer sitting in the far corner with his back towards her. He was absorbed in a newspaper.

There was something familiar about him but it took her more than a moment or two to realize that the man in the café was Aidan Riodan, the man she'd had a brief affair several months ago. Suddenly he turned, stood up and walked over to her table just as the waitress brought her order.

Normally Aidan wore a suit and tie. Tonight he was dressed differently in leather jacket and jeans. With his shaggy black hair falling over his face and a heavy stubble on his face, he looked as tough as a street fighter.

'Leona. Leona Nelson!' - exclaiming - 'then putting his cup on her table and sitting down opposite her. 'You don't mind do you?'

'Aidan. You never wrote me.'

Lost your address,' - carelessly - 'and I was caught up in a deal overseas. But tell me, how have you been?'

'Okay,' - sipping her coffee - 'it never occurred to you to let me know if you were still alive!'

'I'm not much of a writer. Accept my apologies.'

He ordered another coffee for them both, even though she had not finished her first cup, then they talked. 'You're looking beautiful,' - smoothly - 'and I'd say you've lost a fair bit of weight since I last saw you.'

'And it looks like all has been going well for you,' - smiling briefly.

'Yes,' - importantly - 'I've been negotiating an export/import arrangement in Singapore over the past few months. I didn't know if I would be coming back to Melbourne.' This was the only reason he gave for not keeping in contact with her.

She began to feel at ease with him as they chatted and he ordered some more sandwiches when their coffee arrived.

'You're not dating anyone at the moment?'

'No,' she replied. 'I'm not seeing anyone at present.'

He then told how he had finally met up with his ex-wife and how he and Sandra had quarreled over some joint property that still had to be settled. 'I'm hopeless when it comes to relationships,' - laughing.

They talked for quite a while longer until the café owner eventually came to their table and said she was closing up and could they make this their last order.

'That'll be all for tonight,' - decisively - 'I'm going your way,' he said as they left the café, 'let me give you a lift home.'

She shivered slightly as she followed him across the road. 'It's sure nice that summer's coming soon,' she said.

'Another winter like the last one, and I'll join the move to Queensland,' - laughing.

Not only was Aidan dressed differently, he had a different car. A sleek crimson Porsche sedan, which looked as though it had just come out of the showroom.

He opened the passenger door for her. 'Say, how about I take you out to dinner tomorrow night?'

'Oh, ... yes, I suppose you could ...' - as she seated herself - 'well, thank you. I'd like that' - embarrassed by her own shyness. Anything would be better than spending another night on her own, she thought.

Aidan swung out to take advantage of a gap in the traffic. He drove with smooth expertise.

Leona was surprised when they reached her apartment block and Aidan made no attempt to come up to her flat but politely bid her good night, saying 'I'll pick you up at seven,' - before driving off.

The following night Aidan arrived promptly. He was clean-shaven and wearing a charcoal grey suit. He took her to an ultra-modern restaurant that had just opened in the Docklands area and they had a superb seafood dinner.

'You're glad we met up again?' he asked.

Smiling - 'How can you ask, Aidan?'

'Perhaps I ask because I'm not sure.'

'Not sure of what?'

'Now you're laughing at me.'

'I'd never do that.'

As she drank the excellent moselle, she looked across the table at her companion. He smiled as he talked, but all the while she felt that there was something in the pale blue eyes that she did not trust. But as the night wore on Aidan seemed to be sincere and extra caring. Later they walked around the wharfs together.

They looked out over the bay, and reaching a shadowed area, he gently placed his mouth on hers. She parted her lips and her response increased in passion.

She realized that it was foolish to be taken in by him. But he said that he loved her and for the moment she believed him, yet at the same time she knew it was a ploy to get her into bed.

She had never been in love with Aidan, she knew, merely lonely and attracted physically, that was all. She experienced a brief impulse to run from him, knowing that he would soon have her at his whim with the strength of his personality and his need to control. He was completely different from Gareth.

They walked to the car-park and he drove her home. As they reached the stairway to her flat, she put her arms around him and held him tightly to her. She felt the sensations welling up in her body as they made their way inside.

He placed his mouth gently at first on hers on entering her living-room. She found herself responding and her longing grew with his passion as they reached her bed.

But as usual Aidan was a very selfish lover and never considered her needs. To him a physical relationship only appealed to his restless need for dominance and self-assertion.

His mouth was possessing hers with savage passion, his body forcing her. He almost broke her wrist in his grip.

'No!' She stiffened in his arms.

There was a tense silence as they took each other's measure.

She knew that there was something about her that made him feel masterful, and that this was her chief attraction for him.

She felt helplessly in his control. Her own passion had diminished.

Afterwards she found herself staring fixedly at the wall and trembling: she felt herself terribly used.

She felt he had outraged her.

The following morning Aidan calmly informed her that he was flying back to Hong Kong that evening and that he was expecting her to meet up with him again when he came back.

But Leona was having none of it. She made no comment when he left her flat. She felt an inevitable sense of déjà vu. Her relationship with him had brought her full circle; she had re-established her destructive pattern. She was once again in the same no-win situation, torn apart emotionally by yet another man in her life.

She felt crushed under the weight of despair. To sink into the abyss. A terrible ache.