All Comments on 'Moving to San Diego Pt. 11'
by hetup
- 23 Comments
Excellent story. Love how he took over the married wives and Megan. He went from shy to a Dom. Then he knock them up. Poor husbands. If they didn't think about money and sports so much, they might have kept there wives.
Really rushed on the last chapter. Need to due a re write and make it better.
C'mon no way it goes w/o saying what became of shannon and her Baby.
and with the men being older and Traveling alot a chance for an Accident.
and what about Mother she never comes back and he does'nt try the Alpha Male on her?
I loved it, and only wished there was more to come. I am anticipating your next effort.
Love the series. Have you thought about doing something between a student and teacher? I find that scenario particularly hot and you could write the hell out of it.
I read what you said in the Beginning. But after a certain amount of time Jasper or Dad would have to figure out who is getting in their Bed. and how does Jason take care of the Women and Children by Megan and Nicole?
Pal that was the best story I ever read tht domination tht incest pregnancy just mind blowing. Just wanted to ask u though is this story available in illustrated version . Send me reply on plez. Chow.
If he is planning to keep knocking his women up. I had thought that he might pick a favorite and I was pulling for Megan or Shannon but as long as he does not get to be a bigger asshole than he is now it will be OK. Yes, people, I realize it is just a story and a very entertaining one, too. Thank you, author, for writing.
It's really too bad the ending of the story wasn't his step father discovering him, blowing his head of and dumping his body in the Orca tank at Sea World, because that's what a no account prick like this deserves.
i really liked this story and jason is not a person i would usually like. he is an asshole of the highest caliber, but i enjoyed him and his conquests all the same. i just wish the ending had been fleshed out a little more, at least until all the babies are born.
Great series but one major problem. The speech wasn't natural. No one likes that cleanly in every day life.
great series wish that you had got nicole`s mother as well as the rest of the cheerleaders involved and their mothers that would have been awsome
Jason should go to College. with the Coed's and Professor's Jason could have 2 Harem's Home and College. and Introduce each to the Other.
Don't get me wrong, the story is fairly hot but the writing is awful. Misspelled words, poor grammar and dialogue so stilted and unnatural it makes gonzo porn seem like "Great Expectations". Could've been a 5, but I ended up giving it a 3 due to all the flaws.
You keep saying i hit her cervix yikes!!!!! let up on the cervix hitting. Not that i ever could hit one but its very painful to the woman. We got it in chaper 1 massive cock that hits the cervix.
As the title says. It appeals to virgins who don't know what sex with a woman is like and consequently have only a hazy understanding from porn and reddit. So, the ten inch cock, the cervix hitting, and the ridiculous amount of domination by an unlikeable psychopath, one who shows up as the protagonist [under different names] in every one of hetup's stories. Remember, Jason doesn't want the women to be pregnant because he shares any kind of connection with these women, to him it's just a permanent hickey and a slap in the face of the cucks.
Now, if you're into it, you're into it, and there's plenty of comparable stories on lit that do this, like Lord Daygar. Trouble is that they get repetitive real quickly, because all it boils down to is a conquest and fuck scene, then on to the next. Rinse, repeat. It's why the story ended on an anticlimax, because even Hetup's bored at this point. If you're looking for decent dom lit without the bdsm, and without the unrelatable Supercock asshole PC, try Mister Shy's Spunky Blackmail. There's actual characterization, not just cardboard cutouts, and the women have minds of their own, rather than being servile slaves for a big dick.
Oh, and Hetup: If you're reading this, and decide to check out Mr Shy for yourself, try not to steal whole paragraphs off him like you did with The Shadow Rises, m'kay?
To this part of the story. but he still has College and Work to get through. by the time he is through with College he could Double his Harem.
He will die of aids or some shit like that, infecting his sluts. No good ending to this story, at least in real life.
This series and a couple of your other ones were illiterate fantasy trash aimed at male virgins who wouldn’t know their way around a woman’s body if it was right in front of them.
It think this story was great bc of this reason. It's the type of fantasy story porn I like. An for those that complain about it being a virgin fantasy are people like every other person that think that all things should think like them. It's a fantasy. Not real life you're here bc of a fantasy. If you don't like it move on. It's just a matter of taste. If you do things in real life like this are idiots.
What started as a semi-realistic step-taboo story, turned into an incel's shitty fantasy. All the harem shit ruined the story. Sweet talking and seduction works. Making bitches submit to a magic cock and somehow not getting jealous of each other is just stupid. He started acting like a complete asshole that no woman would ever want to be near, magic cock or not. And as the story got worse, the grammar did too. It's like you started phoning it in on all fronts