My New Roommate

"Don't mind me," Caitlin said, giving me a final peck on the cheek and heading for the door. "I'll find my way out."

In 10 seconds she was gone.

Rob and stood looking at each other. Mercifully, my cock had softened enough so the tenting wasn't so obvious.

Rob, whose face had almost returned to its normal color, finally spoke.

"Have fun last night?"

"Yes,"

"Thought so," he said. "I saw the evidence."

Now it was my turn to blush. I thought about him wiping the cum off my chest, and felt my dick chub up again. Why was this happening?

He turned and headed for the kitchen.

I turned the other direction and looked down the hall. Rob's door was open. I stepped over and peeked in.

Empty. Whoever he'd been with last night was gone already.

There was a long silence while was making coffee. I broke it finally by saying, "Your friend leave early?"

"Actually he left last night, a little after you went back to bed."

Another silence. Rob stared out the window for a bit.

"Everything OK?" I asked.

"Yeah, sure," he said, coming back to himself.

I waited one beat before saying, "Sounded like you guys had fun."

He shrugged.

"Just sex," he said. "It's better when you really like someone."

"It was just sex with Caitlin," I said, "but still..."

He laughed.

"Well, I guess I'm just enough of a romantic to want to love the person I'm having sex with," he said.

For a second I saw something in his look that disconcerted me. But it quickly vanished, and he flashed the smile again.

"It's really nice out," he said, looking out the window. "Want to do something? Get brunch maybe?"

"I'm game," I said. "Let's go."

We had a long, leisurely meal including several mimosas, and we were both feeling pretty happy when we got back to the apartment.

"Want to smoke a bowl?" Rob asked.

"Fire it up!"

We sat down on the couch and passed the pipe back and forth a few times. Neither of us said anything for a long time, just enjoying the high.

After a few minutes Rob got up to go to the kitchen.

"Want a glass of water?" he asked.

"Sure, thanks," I said.

I picked up the remote and turned on the TV. Not sure what button I hit, but the DVD player turned on, too, and a disc started playing.

The video showed a guy sitting in bed, bare-chested, in what looked like a hotel room. After a couple of beats the bathroom door opened and another guy walked out, wearing a towel.

"Nope," I heard Rob say over my shoulder. "You don't want to see this."

He set the two glasses down on the coffee table and reached over to grab the remote.

"What don't you want me to see?" I teased.

At that moment the guy dropped his towel and stood naked before the guy in the bed.

"Oh," I said.

I must have inadvertently turned on a porn video that Rob had been watching earlier and forgotten to take out of the machine.

"Not that it matters much," I said, "but what's the setup?"

Rob hesitated before answering.

"Two straight businessman go to a convention and decide to try gay sex for the first time."

"Oh," I said again.

"We don't have to watch it."

I looked over. His face was beet red.

"Don't be embarrassed," I said. "I'm not."

That wasn't quite true. My voice came out strangely; my throat had suddenly gone very dry .

I took a long drink of water and looked at Rob. He was looking down at the floor, clearly uncomfortable, so I picked up the remote and turned the TV off.

"Sorry," I said. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

A long awkward silence followed.

"I'm a little too buzzed," he finally said. "I think I'm going to lie down for a bit."

He drank the rest of his water and headed for his room.

I felt bad that I'd made him so uncomfortable, but I wasn't sure what to say, so I let him go.

After a few minutes staring out the window I felt sleepy myself, so I stretched out on the couch. For a few minutes my thoughts wandered to what I had seen in the glimpse at the video, and I let myself imagine what might have followed. I felt myself getting a woody, but I was too sleepy and buzzed to do anything with it.

I woke up an hour or so later, feeling groggy. I got up to make coffee, and while it was brewing Rob wandered in a few minutes later.

"Mmmpff," he said.

"Mmmpff," I responded.

When the coffee was ready I poured two cups and we sat down at the table. We started talking about nothing in particular, and nothing more was said about the video. In a few minutes the atmosphere seemed more or less relaxed, so I decided to say nothing about the video for now. Not sure what I would have said in any case.

A couple of days later I had a dentist's appointment in the afternoon, and since it was a slow day the boss told me not to bother coming back to the office afterward. I got home about 3:30 and with nothing to do, decided to see if there was something to watch.

When I turned on the remote the DVD door slid open. It was empty, but it made me think of the disc that had started playing two days before. I rummaged around in the stacks of DVD cases in the entertainment center and found three that lacked labels. Opening one, I read the title printed on the disc: "Straight to Gay: A Businessman's Story."

I hesitated. Did I really want to watch this? If so, why? I'd never before had any interest in gay porn, but for some reason I really wanted to see this video. Just thinking about it made my cock stiffen a bit.

I turned the TV on, popped the disc out of the case and slipped it into the player. Then I fixed myself a small bowl to smoke and sat down to watch.

As always in porn, the setup was lame: A bunch of business types, men and women, are drinking in a hotel bar after a day of convention stuff. One guy, Matt, gets a little drunk, comes on to a couple of the women, but they show no interest and leave. Meanwhile one of the other guys, Adam, is also getting drunk - and watching Matt with something more than casual interest. Eventually the two of them are alone.

"No luck?" Adam asks, and Matt says, "No, dammit. Why is it so hard just to get your cock sucked?"

Adam takes a big swallow of his drink, takes a deep breath and says, "Well... maybe it isn't."

Matt looks at him, puzzled.

"Meaning what?"

Adam pauses, then says, "Haven't you ever thought about getting a blow job from a guy?"

Matt frowns.

"No," he says, but then, "Well, yes, but I wouldn't do that. I'm not gay. Are you?"

"No, straight my whole life," Adam says, a little bolder now. "But I've always wanted to try it. And I'll bet you have, too, though you won't admit it."

Matt thinks it over for a few minutes. When he doesn't move to leave, Adam reaches over and puts a hand on his leg.

"I don't know," Matt says. "I'd be pretty nervous. I've never done this."

"Neither have I. I'm nervous, too. But nobody will ever know."

Matt thinks for a bit.

"Ok," he says. "But it's gotta be our secret. It would be disaster for me if this ever came out."

"For me, too," Adam says.

They leave the bar, go upstairs and into Adam's room.

"I'm going to get a quick shower," he says. "Why don't you get undressed and get in bed?"

"I need a shower, too," Matt says. "OK if I go first?"

"Sure."

Matt goes in to shower and comes out with a towel wrapped around his waist. After Adam goes in to the bathroom, Matt unwraps the towel and throws it on a chair. He has a nice body, and his dick, which is very long and thick, is already getting hard. He climbs into bed and arranges the covers over his lap.

This is where we had come in a couple of nights ago. But this time, when Adam emerged from the bathroom, I kept watching.

Adam steps over to the bed and drops his towel, revealing a huge cock, nine inches long, easy. It starts to rise while he is standing there.

"Wow," Matt says. "You are big. Bigger than me."

He pushes the covers aside and reveals his own cock, which is standing straight up in his lap.

I hit the pause button. I was breathing heavily and my pants feltl painfully cramped.

I kicked off my shoes and hurriedly stripped off my pants and underwear. My cock was iron-hard. I shrugged out of my shirt and leaned back on the couch, naked. I picked up the remote and hit the play button.

The two men look at each other for a long second. Then Adam reaches out and wraps his fingers around Matt's cock.

In the next 15 minutes I had two orgasms. The first time I shot so hard that cum hit me in the forehead and on the lips, where I instinctively licked it up. I have tasted my cum before, but it never tasted this good.

The second time I didn't shoot as hard, but I still spilled four good spurts onto my stomach. I used my fingers to wipe up all I could and thrust them into my mouth, sucking greedily at my own thick juices.

During this time Adam has given Matt an intense blow job, and Matt has unleashed a huge stream of cum on Adam's face. Matt has returned the favor, struggling to get Adam's enormous cock into his throat and finally swallowing when Adam shoots his own load. After a minute or two of rest Matt is hard again -- do porn actors take Viagra? - and trying to ram his cock into Adam's ass.

I wasn't too hard by now, but I kept stroking slowly and when Adam finally came in Matt's ass I managed to dribble out one small spurt of cum, which I scooped up and ate.

The two guys lie side by side in bed for a minute, then Matt gets up and heads for the bathroom.

"I need another shower," he says.

"Wait up," Adam says, "I'm coming with you."

I paused the DVD again. There were still 20 minutes left but I was exhausted, not to mention sticky with cum. I put down the remote, picked up my clothes and headed for my room. Dropping my stuff I padded back to the kitchen, still naked, washed my hands, wetted a paper towel and went back to the living room. I wiped a smear of cum off the remote, put it back in its place, got the DVD out of the player and put it back in its case.

About then I heard keys in the door. Shit, Rob's home. I put the case down and scurried into the bathroom, where I quickly turned on the shower.

When I was was done I wrapped a towel around my waist and opened the door a crack. I looked out, and saw Rob standing in the middle of the living room, a thoughtful expression on his face.

Fuck, I thought, he saw the DVD case out of its place. Or maybe he smelled cum; I'm sure the room reeks of it. Fuck fuck fuck.

I opened the door wider and stepped into the hallway.

"Oh, hi," I said, as naturally as I could, stopping outside my door.

"You're home early." Rob said.

"Yeah, went to the dentist, got home early, felt kinda skanky so I decided to shower," I said, which was at least partly true. "Feel like going out for a drink?"

"Sure," he said.

"I'll be with you in five."

"I think I might take a quick shower, too."

It was all I could do to get back into my room without getting another boner.

We went to a little place around the corner with a courtyard in back, and ended up having burgers. I'm sure I seemed a little distracted, because the whole time we talked I was replaying scenes from the porn video in my head. I was too spent from three orgasms to get truly hard, but my dick stiffened up just enough to get uncomfortable, and Rob noticed my squirming.

"Dude, you OK? You seem jumpy."

"Just antsy for some reason," I said.

It was close to 9 when we got back to the apartment. Rob found something mindless on TV, which was good because I couldn't focus on anything. My mind was a whirl of questions.

Why did I want to watch that video? Why did I enjoy it so much? Why was I so turned on by the sight of guys' cocks? Why did I get so hot watching two guys have sex?

Am I bi? Or even gay?

It wasn't that I had anything against gays; I was living with one, for Pete's sake. But that didn't mean I wanted to be gay myself.

But I couldn't help admitting that I was turned on by watching men have sex. And once I admitted that, I couldn't help wondering about taking the next step, which was to try it myself.

Naturally this led to thoughts of Rob. The image of his standing naked in front of me that night in the bathroom was still very fresh in my mind. He certainly was attractive physically.

Would I have sex with Rob is the opportunity arose? Would he even want to? Did he like me that way?

"Geez, listen to me," I thought. "Wondering if I could get it on with my male roommate."

I looked at Rob. He was looking at the TV, but in a vacant way, like he was thinking hard, too.

I thought, he told me he'd never make the first move himself. Should I? Maybe he doesn't see me that way. Maybe it would ruin our friendship, which I really value, and make living here uncomfortable.

Finally, after nearly two hours of this self-torture, I roused myself, said goodnight to Rob and went to bed. I did not have untroubled dreams that night.

The week passed. As work was winding up Friday afternoon Caitlin stopped by my desk and asked if I wanted to hang out. I said sure, and we ended up getting just tipsy enough at happy hour for her to get kittenish and start flirting with me again. We got a pizza and then she asked if I wanted company that night.

The girl sure is aggressive, I thought, but she got me so horny with her pawing I said yes.

Rob was still out when we got back, so we had a good loud fuck, and then a quieter one, and finally both fell asleep. I was awakened sometime later by the sound of Rob moving around in the apartment, but quickly fell back asleep.

The next morning Caitlin and I were getting some breakfast when Rob walked into the kitchen. When he saw Caitlin sitting there in her panties and one of my old T-shirts, I saw a brief look of annoyance, but he quickly caught himself and greeted her nicely enough. He got a bowl of cereal and sat down with us at the table, and we chatted about nothing in particular. Rob and I did most of the talking, Caitlin looking at each of us as we spoke but not really entering into the conversation, such as it was.

After half an hour or so she got up and went into my room to get dressed.

Rob looked at me and cocked an eyebrow.

"Is this getting serious?" he asked quietly.

"I don't think so," I said. "It feels more like a friends-with-benefits kind of thing."

"Good," he said.

"Why?" I asked. "Don't you like her?"

He was about to answer when Caitlin walked back in.

"Walk me to the subway?" she asked.

"Sure," I said.

She waved goodbye at Rob, who waved back, and we left.

Once on the street, she turned to me with a sly smile.

"You realize your roommate's in love with you?"

I was genuinely stunned.

"What? How? No. It couldn't be."

"Haven't you noticed the way he looks at you?"

"No," I said, truthfully. "How does he look at me?"

"Like he's in love with you," she said. "It's not hard to spot if you're not the oblivious type."

"Am I oblivious?"

"As a rule, no," she said. "I think you understand that with you and me, it's just sex."

I looked at her, grateful to have been right.

"I mean, you're a lot of fun to be around," she said, "but I'm not in love with you. And I don't think you're in love with me."

'No," I said.

"Well, then, we are good. But I think something is going on between you two, even if it's one-sided for now."

"For now?" I asked.

"Rob seems like a good guy, even if he's a little standoffish with me. I think that comes from jealousy, so I don't take it personally."

I looked at her.

"You are really something," I said. "The most straightforward person I know."

She laughed.

"Some people don't like that, but I'm glad you do. And if you decide you'd rather fuck him than me, it won't hurt my feelings."

I started to protest, but she kissed me quickly on the cheek and bounded down the stairs into the subway.

"Straightforward doesn't begin to describe it," I thought, and turned for home.

I walked slowly, thinking about what Caitlin had said. Was Rob really in love with me?

I thought about his behavior over the last few days and weeks. True, he had seemed quieter recently, more withdrawn, but it hadn't occurred to me that love might have something to do with it. Still, it seemed to me now that he hadn't shown much interest or enthusiasm when I talked about Caitlin, although that wasn't often in any case.

If he was in love with me, why hadn't he said anything, given me a hint?

Then I remembered that when talking about his previous roommate, he had said he detected interest there but would never make the first move. Why not?

Maybe he was afraid he might be wrong about that other guy's interest, and was afraid to scare him off. Was he afraid of scaring me off?

If that's the case, then I'm going to have to make the first move.

Hold on, I thought. First move? How is that even an issue? I'm not gay!

Or am I?

Let's not kid ourselves, I thought. Perfectly straight guys don't masturbate to gay videos.

Or do they? Maybe they do. Nothing in my sex life, including my thing with Caitlin, whatever it was,l seemed cut and dried any more.

Maybe there's no such thing as "perfectly straight."

I sat down on a bench outside my apartment building, trying to think honestly.

I might as well admit it to myself: I am dying to try sex with men. But do I want to try it with Rob? If he loves me but I can't say I love him, is it even the decent thing to do, given our friendship?

I got up and went back upstairs. Rob had cleaned up the breakfast stuff - unusual for him - and gone into his room and closed the door.

I decided to go for a run. When I came back, Rob was sitting on the couch reading.

"I'm going to get a shower and do a couple of errands," I said. "Thought I might get something to grill tonight."

He looked up, smiling.

"That sounds good," he said. "If you buy the steaks I'll bring the wine."

"It's a date," I said, and felt myself starting to blush. I hurried into the bathroom and into the shower. When I came out he was gone.

After running some errands I stopped at the store and picked up two thick steaks, a big loaf of fresh Italian bread and stuff to make a salad. When I got back the apartment Rob wasn't there, so I popped open a beer and sat down to wait.

He came in about six, carrying a bag with several bottles clanking in it.

"This ought to do," he said, pulling out three bottles of white wine and putting them in the fridge.

"I'll get the grill going," I said.

While I set up the little grill on our tiny little balcony, Rob opened one of the bottles, got two glasses and sat down on the couch. I lit the fire and joined him on the couch, where we smoked a small bowl and chatted about nothing in particular.

When the fire was ready I put the steaks on and Rob went to make salad and warm the bread. Fifteen minutes later we sat down to eat.

It was a very pleasant dinner. The talk flowed easily, and when it paused now and then I felt no tension or awkwardness. What with the food, the wine and the mild buzz lingering from the dope I felt relaxed and contented, and it seemed that Rob, did, too.

When dinner was done we stacked the dishes in the sink, opened another bottle and went back to the couch. We smoked another bowl.

"Want to watch something?" Rob asked.

"Not really," I said, "Just happy to sit here and be."

"Fine with me," he said, and gave me the killer smile.

We looked at each other for a few seconds. Something passed between us; some spark of feeling.

I swallowed hard and slid next to him. He looked surprised.

"I'm going to kiss you now," I said. "Please let me."

Rob's eyes widened, but when I leaned in and touched my lips to his, he did not resist. His lips were warm and soft, but I felt also felt a bit of his razor stubble, and smelled the barest hint of his aftershave.