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Click hereA passionate and erotic story of two couples. They met by chance and got trapped in the world of lust, deceit, cheating and eroticism. What started as a casual encounter ended up with a perfect murder plot.
Characters Introduction:
Couple-1: Ed and Bella were normal working couples. They were married for 4 years and had a very boring life. Ed was a top executive with one of the consultancy firm; he was highly educated and well-mannered man. Bella did her high school and started working in a flower shop to meet her family needs. She could not complete her education and was still working as a cashier in the flower shop. Ed was against her job and wanted her to take care of home, but Bella did not want to live as a home maker. Their sex life was nonexistent primarily because of Ed. He hardly had interest or time for sex, love and romance. Bella always considered this as a failed marriage but couldn't get out of it as she really loved Ed. Bella was tall and sexy she was 3 years younger than Ed. Ed on the contrary started looking older than his age and gained some extra pounds. He had zero social life and non-existing friend circle.
Couple-2: Ryan and Nadia on the contrary were passionate and erotic couple. They both were high school drop outs and earned big money by running a modeling agency. They had a real big social circle and were considered as life of every party. They were both of Bella's age and very good looking. Nadia was sexy and erotic. Ryan was a Casanova and they both had an open marriage where everything goes.
Chance Encounter: Bella was invited by her co-worker for the opening of a new club in town. Bella shared the invite with Ed who as usual refused because of work targets. Bella did not insist and refused her friends offer. Next day Ed got an invite of the same club by his client who wanted to meet over drinks. Ed could not refuse as the invite came from one of his most important client. Ed came home and told Bella to be ready on Saturday as they had to attend a club opening. He forgot that a day before, Bella shared the same invite and he refused. Bella got hurt but she didn't say anything and just gave her nod for attending the event.
On Saturday, Ed came home early and brought a new dress for Bella. It was short deep neck black dress. Bella was very surprised as Ed had never bought anything like that before. In fact Ed hated these kind of clothes. She romantically asked Ed the reason, and got a cold reply from Ed that they are going to a high profile party and he doesn't want that people thinks that he married a low profile flower shop cashier. Bella got extremely hurt as she always knew that Ed had an inferiority complex because of her education and job. He always avoided introducing her with his educated executive circle as he thought she could not fit into their discussions.
They both reached the club and Bella was looking super-hot in that dress. She was catching everyone's attention. Ed moved to the VIP table reserved by his client, his client name was Steven and he welcomed both Ed and Bella. They had few drinks and Bella was feeling left out in their conversations about work. Soon Steven decided to leave and told Ed to stay and enjoy the night. Ed asked Bella if she wants to leave or stay. Bella was so bored by now and wanted to leave but then she thought it is a great opportunity to spend some quality time with Ed. She requested to stay on for some time. Ed accepted and called for drinks, while they were having drinks suddenly Ryan came in and hugged Bella. Ryan and Bella were high school friends and were surprised to each other after so many years. Bella introduced Ryan and Ed with each other and asked Ryan to join them for drinks. Ed was least interested in talking to Ryan. Ryan accepted Bella's offer and called Nadia to join them. Ed was flattered with Nadia's looks and manners. She came in and kissed Bella and Ed. She was looking stunning and sat next to Ed. She started a conversation with Ed while Bella and Ryan were remembering their old school days. After few drinks she asked Ryan and Bella, if she could go with Ed and introduce him to one of his friends who works in the same company as Ed do. Ryan was fine but Bella was a bit hesitant to stay alone with Ryan.
Both Ed and Nadia left and Ryan moved next to Bella, he put his hand on Bella's thighs and started talking about married life. Bella was getting uncomfortable but excited. She could feel Ryan's soft fingers on her thighs and pretended to ignore. As the music was louder, Ryan couldn't hear Bella well. So he asked her to move to another corner. Bella agreed, it was a very dark corner and Ryan sat right next to Bella. He was whispering in her ears as it was impossible to talk due to loud sound. They had a good conversation for half an hour before Ed and Nadia returned, Nadia was holding Ed's hand and Ed looked very casual. Bella was surprised with Ed's body language and how comfortable he was with Nadia.
Nadia asked Ryan what you guys were talking about for so long, Ryan replied we were talking about sexual encounters and laughed. Bella shouted no that is not true and looked at Ed and asked to leave. Ed acknowledged and they both started leaving, Ed and Ryan exchanged their phone numbers and that concluded their first encounter. What happened between Ed and Nadia was still a mystery which was bothering Bella. Bella was felling jealous and wanted to know what happened but she could not ask that night.
The game has just started ........
Why are Ed and Bella even married? They seem to have nothing in common. Ed is supposed to be an executive of some sort but has no friends and is a 'normal working man'. Why did Ed and Nadia leave the club, there is no clear explanation?
I really need to get that word out of my vocabulary. :-)
Definitely overused!
You definitely need an editor. Too many errors spoils any story and there are a lot for such a short piece. I wouldn't read a longer story the way this is written.
The comment about the third person viewpoint is also valid. It takes the emotion out of the story and makes it a narration. I honestly can't think of one that I've ever really liked when written like that.
I think you're trying to set a scenario but honestly who would care about these people or their marriages given how little we know about them.
Honestly, I'd rip it up and start over! Anyone reading chapt 1 would not stay for 2 or more.