Patti Cake Ch. 08

As we lay there for a while, Patti and me, her still naked with my arm around her, while yes, still dressed in my stockings, garters, camisole and all -but yet not feeling the slightest bit embarrassed now that our passions had subsided. I believed now without a doubt that I was in love with her again -and also, I believed for the first time that she too was feeling the same - and even thorough she still hadn't said the words --and neither had I for that matter, I could feel it coming from her. I could tell that she really did love me and she wanted me back.

Although, I still had something on my mind that I knew I had to tell Patti as my Mom had also said I should... And that was to tell her about Darren kissing me that night...

Not only, this but also I was to tell her that how over the years, I had changed or 'morphed' the incident into a sexual fantasy... That part I didn't think was going to be easy... But I had to tell her... I had to be honest. Especially if I were to be coming around more, being here with them again... I don't think I could have lived with that particular Elephant riding on my back, especially not with the potential of seeing Darren at times as well...

Plus as Mom had also said, it wouldn't be fair to Patti for me to be keeping ANY secrets if we were to be getting involved once again, so I really had no choice... I had to be open with her... I had to...

We needed to start with a clean slate and this -- telling her about my bisexual thoughts and even wants... That was about as clean as my slate was going to get...

The only other demon in my closet was what Mom and I had experienced together the night before, which at my current rate of thinking, I would no doubt be telling Patti all about that episode as well -yet oddly from the way she had been talking about my Mom in this sense? I was sure she was already thinking that there was something going on between the two of us, my Mom and me...

***

"Patti...?" I said quietly as we lay there on our backs, her eyes were closed.

"Hmmm?" She hummed back to me, telling me to go on, to continue.

"I have... I have something I need to tell you... About --about that night... At that last wedding I went to with you..." I said to her, feeling nervous and unsure. Patti could tell too, just by my voice, opening her eyes and turning to me, her hand going to my silk covered chest, it felt nice.

"You sound concerned baby... What is it? Don't be afraid, you can tell me..." Patti replied then, looking at me now, laying on her side, her big tits pushing in to me, into my arm, feeling lovely and warm from her body's heat.

"Um well... Before... Before I saw you, down stairs... With -- with umm. Brad..." I began feeling a bit uneasy in where I was going to have to go, what I was going to have to tell her...

"Oh God... I was hoping we could forget about that now... But I guess we should talk about this stuff... So please, don't worry Dale... Just tell me what you're thinking..." Patti answered but I was getting a little ahead of myself...

"No-no it's not really about that... That's not what I have to tell you..." I started again; Patti lay there listening.

"It... Was something that happened between Darren and I earlier when we went out to smoke a joint, near the end of the night, it was really late and..." I continued but then held off, thinking of a second, gathering what I wanted to say and more so 'how' I wanted to say it...

Patti was patient this time, saying nothing just looking at me, up on one elbow now, still drawing on my chest, tickling me, making my small nipples poke out through the super-soft fabric.

"You know how Darren and I hung out at those weddings right? And how he would take me outside with him to get high on whatever he had with him?" I asked, backing up a bit with my story.

"Yeah, I remember, it was really cute actually; he called you his 'little-joint-buddy' -- we all thought it was sweet... Even Carol, once she knew you a little better..." Patti added telling me something new, and how they 'all' thought it was sweet, Darren's nick-name for me.

"Y-yeah... That... well, umm that night though... Something else happened when we smoked a joint later on..." I went on, and Patti listened.

I was nervous at this point, so I just outed with it in a blurt... I could see no other way; I guess I was tired of trying to be 'delicate' with these things.

"He... He... Umm well, the joint had burned down and Darren suggested that he give me a Super-toke and when he did... He... He sort of... He sort of kissed... He kissed me..." I said, finally getting it off of my chest. Well, for now anyway...

Telling her this, telling Patti that Darren had kissed me was in fact the easy part -- the hard part was still to come -- telling her how I had discovered that I had liked the kiss and how over time, I turned it into something else... Something Patti might think was sick or dirty... Or even, just plain gay...

"He kissed you? What? When you were getting a Super..?" Patti questioned, and not sounding as shocked or surprised as I'd expected -- nowhere near in fact. Like everything else, she was reacting in such a positive way; it almost seemed too good to be true...

Umm...Well yeah... It was kinda strange, at first I thought maybe our lips just happened to touch and that he'd pull back once he'd noticed... But -- but he didn't he just stayed there with his lips on mine while he blew the smoke into my mouth..." I said to her trying to explain how I saw and felt things happening.

Quiet and thinking Patti just looked at me... "So... Why didn't you pull back..? It sounds like you let him kiss you Dale... If you ask me..." She said then with a wicked smile coming to her face. A smile that instantly had me worried and thinking that I was seeing some of the old-nastier Patti coming back up to the surface.

She was right though, I could have pulled back but as weak as it was, I still had to tell her my reason, why I hadn't pulled back, why I'd let him continue to kiss me.

"I... I was afraid..." I said to her telling the truth...

I didn't want to upset Darren whether or not he was kissing me for real or just giving me a blow-back, that's just who I was, I didn't like rocking the boat... Even if it was when I was being kissed by a guy, I still said and did nothing...

"Hmmph!" Patti half laughed as I lay there suddenly feeling rather vulnerable.

"Sorry, I'm not laughing at you Dale; I know where you're coming from... You like Darren and he likes you, in fact from the way he tore into me the other night about all of this, he must 'really' like you..." That's why I laughed... But I can see how you would be intimidated. .." Patti went on.

"He's an older Alpha, very good looking and you'd want to impress him, I get that... I feel that way around him too... Believe me; you don't know the half of it..." Patti went on explaining; even mentioning the 'Alpha-beta' thing my Mom was always going on about... But her last sentiment, I didn't really understand... However - I wasn't going to question her, I was just glad she wasn't freaking out.

"Well... I'm glad you're okay with that part... But please Patti, promise me you won't mention it to him because I'm not sure if it even was a kiss... Over the years, I'd just turned into the whole fantasy thing that's all... I'd be mortified if he found out that's what I thought...That he kissed me..." I said to her, wanting to be sure that she wouldn't mention to Darren what my feelings and thoughts were but then, Patti pulled me up on something I'd inadvertently said... I don't know if it was subliminal or Freudian, but my slip of the tongue was all I needed in getting this next door of mine unlocked... Maybe I meant to say what I did...

"Wait..? What..? What fantasy..? You said you turned it into this whole 'fantasy thing'... What does that mean Dale..? Did you like when Darren kissed you? Because I know for a fact that it WAS a kiss and not just a bumping of your lips during a Super toke..." Patti went on to say, and of course, I was even more confused now...

"Ah... Ummm well... Oh Christ... Okay, I'll say it, I'll tell you ... I did kind of like it at the time... But... But before I go on... Remember where I was and what I was feeling okay? So... so just let me finish alright?" I said to Patti, feeling kind of defensive. I needed to get out what I wanted to say before she read too much more into this... Which further down the line and in my stupid head I did sexualize the scene, of course... I was feeling trapped again.

"Oh God where do I start..?" I said as Patti sat up, not looking too worried but I was embarrassed as hell with what I was about to tell her...

"Well... That night... At that wedding... I uh... I don't know how to say this but I'm going to... That night, you were ah... Umm... Patti you were a complete bitch to me..." I said starting off because I do believe that this is where the whole Darren thing started.

Probably not my bisexual wants, that was more deep-seated, that much I knew. As much as I had denied it over the years, and even long before I'd met Patti or Darren, there had been an 'attraction' of some kind that I'd had towards certain men.

But on this night in particular, this fixation with Darren -that's where this part of my story began... With Patti behaving as she was the entire night at the last wedding I attended with her that summer night some 15yrs ago.

She felt bad, I could see it in her eyes but now that were we here, I had to go on, and trust me, it was like pulling my own teeth, but I knew I had no choice.

"I'm sorry, I know... I remember... It was... It was something one of the bridesmaids said... She said I must be crazy dating you when Brad was there single and always ready -and it really pissed me off so I threw myself at Brad to teach her a lesson and I guess in the wake, I treated you like shit... I was a bitch, I know... Fuck I hate myself sometimes..." Patti went on telling me her side of things and for the first time in all of these years I'd gained some clarity at least.

"But... Can I ask?" Patti said then after beating herself up for a minute. "How did my being a bitch to you, make you 'like' Darren kissing you...?" she asked then getting back to our original, yet rather embarrassing discussion.

"Well... I was drunk and hurt and when Darren and Carol kind of hung around with me that night, I felt closer to them... Your sister even danced with me!" I said to her, trying to ease my way back into this.

"And then later, at the party when it was late and I had no idea where you were, I was about to go and crash but the Darren said he wanted to smoke one more joint so I went with him... Well, he actually took me by the arm, which scared me a little but then... When the joint was down and he gave me that blow-back and kiss... And he ummm kissed me..." I explained really just recapping, trying to still I guess, but Patti wasn't having it...

"Yeah, yeah, I know this part but tell me 'when' he kissed you... You said you liked it..." She broke in then, wanting to further me along and get to what I was trying to say...

"Well, yeah... I l-liked it because I was... I don't know -I was feeling kind of vulnerable. I was hurt and so any kind of attention was... it was ummm... Nice..." I finally managed to say, getting everything out in the way I had hoped... My only concern now of course was Patti...

Staying quiet for a second and starting to make me worry, Patti slowly let a smile creep across her face and then like a kitten or cat ready to pounce, she backed herself onto all fours and with a growl she jumped on me, landing on top of and smothering me in kisses.

"Oh Dale baby... I had you looking worried there! Trust me I don't mind at all that you've developed this man-crush on Darren... And do you know how I KNOW it was a kiss? A real kiss..?" Patti said to me, letting me off the hook but then, yeah... She did say that... She did say that she knew it was a kiss... But..? But how..?

"H-how..? How did you know? I asked then, not really sure I wanted to know now... I mean after having a mystery last this long, it might be a real let down... I only half wanted to know... I think...

"I knew because he told me..." Patti said from where she was back now straddling my chest, leaning over with my face in her hands and kissing me here and there as she spoke, her big, soft tits hanging there, swaying and looking oh so beautiful... Meanwhile though, I was trying to get my head around what she had just told me... Darren 'had' kissed me...

"He? He told you..? I said putting my arms up trying to hold her back. "What do mean..? So all these years? I was right..?" I added then, stunned...

"I guess so baby cakes! Turns out your man-crush has one back on you..!" Patti said then being super playful and not making any-big deal out of this at all... But meanwhile, my heart was pounding in my chest...

"Fuck me it WAS real..? After all these years..? I'm just... I'm floored... But Darren? He's not... He's married? He's not like that is he..? What about Carol..?" I said to her then, thinking I don't know what...

"Yeah, he's married to Carol but so what..? They..." Patti began but then stopped fearing she'd say something she shouldn't...

"It's complicated and I'd better keep my mouth shut but Darren and Carol... What I will tell you -and I'll kill you if you blab is they're...ummm... They're swingers..."

My eyes went big as saucers, practically falling out of my head...

"Swingers? Like what? They sleep with other people?' I asked still not believing what she had told me...

"Well, yeah they do... But you can't say anything... Right?" Patti confirmed and then in the reverse, she swore me to secrecy this time.

"Yeah, of course! I'm not going to say anything... God! I may be a lot of things but crazy ain't one of them, of course I won't say anything..." I said to Patti reassuring her, but I needn't have, there was no way I'd saying anything to either of them about something like that... But it did lead me to a whole new set of questions for her on this subject.

"So... What does that have to do with me..? I mean with Darren... Him 'liking' me as you said..? And the same back...with me ummm, liking him..?" I asked Patti then because I still wasn't completely sure where she was going with all of this.

"Well, you've seen Darren right? I mean he's gorgeous! And he's so... I don't know he's just so dammed charismatic... I mean I'm sure you've felt that just being around him..." Patti asked and declared -and I did know what she was talking about, I had felt it with him...

He did have this whole 'irresistible' thing that I couldn't really deny... I mean, there had to be something on my part, some sort of attraction, a hidden want...After all I let the man kiss me-- I just stood there and let him...

"Yeah I know what you mean, I felt that from him, it's like you can't say no to him, or he makes you feel like you don't want to say no..." I answered Patti letting her know that I understood exactly where she was coming from, because she was right, Darren was rather alluring that way.

"That's right... I mean you remember how we all were around him, especially Carol..." Patti added and again I couldn't have agreed more because I did notice that too, Carol was always doing everything for him and deferring to him.

"Yeah, I did see that a few times at those weddings - like how she filled his plate at the buffet, or brought him beers all night. What is she? His slave-wife or something..?" I asked then, only half joking and from the look Patti gave me, I'd either crossed a line or I was dead right...

"Well, no not exactly, I wouldn't say she was his 'slave' but she does answer to him, ummm... He is quite... Dominant...I don't know if you caught that or not but that's all part of their swinging thing..." Patti went on telling me more about how all of this and leaving me stunned all along the way...

"He likes submissives and Carol, well she may not give off that vibe, and in fact I think she hid it even more when you were around, but she is VERY submissive to Darren..." Patti continued and probably telling me more than she had wanted to but I was intrigued as hell...

I had no idea about any of this -and rightly so I guess, I mean, I'd been away for a very long time so... But still, it's amazing what people can hide about themselves. Both of them, Carol and Darren.

"But... What about me though?" I asked again, hoping I wasn't trying make this 'just' about me... But I wanted to know more about Darren 'liking' me... Because up till now, her telling me all of this had me a little scared and worried.

"What do you mean..? How he likes you?" Patti asked, taking the pressure off of me feeling like I'd have to go over all of this again.

"Well, yeah... What did you mean by that? Is he like Bi --or something..?" I asked, very tentatively, not wanting it to look like I was hinting that I was hoping he was... Bisexual -I mean...

"Ha-ha..!" Patti chuckled...

"Dale honey, Darren doesn't care about a person sex, as a long as they're submissive to him in that way -he doesn't care... And THAT is why he likes you Dale... Does that answer your question? I know you're worried about him kissing you but don't be... It was a long time ago and he was probably just testing you to see how far you might go..." Patti said then but now, I wasn't sure how I should feel...

I needed to think about everything Patti was telling me... So then, with a big sigh, I yawned and curled myself into her, quiet we stayed for a few moments with Patti holding me and gently rocking in her arms...

Quiet we were until she asked something I'd feared since revealing myself -- my true --pantied-self to her back in the restaurant.

"Dale honey... Are you? Are you bisexual..?" She asked me and then quickly went on, defending her question...

"I mean, it's okay if you are... I still want you and actually, I'd kinda like it if you are... I mean, with the panties and stocking and this silk camisole, which I love on you by the way... So you can see why I'm asking right..?

I stayed quiet, I wasn't sure what I should say because to be honest? I'd never actually had a gay or bisexual experience, not until the night before, where my Mom helped me pretend, with one of her big lifelike dildos...

So other than this night of connecting with my Mom in such an incestuous way, with her stroking my little dickie until I came -all over that big, real-looking dildo cock of hers -which of course was a whole different issue or change in our mother/son relationship that I knew I was going to have to deal with at some point.

But even still... Was this as my only barometer? My only gauge in telling me whether or not I was bisexual? My one-time experience with a sex toy? Mind you a very 'real' looking sex toy...

If I were to guess at the time? And just from looking at where I was and what I had experienced thus far? Then yeah... I'd have to say that yes -I was bisexual --or if not, I was certainly leaning heavily in that direction, so it would seem... Patti was right though... To look at me, how I was dressed, anyone would think, how could I 'not' be... Bisexual?

"I don't know if I am or not but from what I'm going to be honest and tell you is that..." I began, and then stuttered a bit...

"Is that, last night after telling my Mom about my fantasy...? The one that I said I'd created around Darren... Darren kissing me?" I said to Patti, ready to drop another of my bomb-shells on her in this rapidly growing game we seemed to be playing where each of was upping our 'freak-show' with each roll of the sex-dice we'd been tossing.

"Oh! Right! Yes! Your fantasy! Tell me all about your fantasy..! Oh I'm loving this Dale! Okay come on... Spill... Tell me everything and believe me, I don't care what it is just as long as no-one gets hurt..." Patti said then getting all excited and sitting up, her big, naked and amazing tits swinging in front of my eyes, seeing them moving like that, so lovely and full., it reminded me that all of this was indeed real...