All Comments on 'Quick Hits - Jeanne Pt. 01'
by azintruder
- 8 Comments
"Diane thinks to herself, he has no idea how much."
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A whole story in 1st person from his perspective, and you suddenly switched to 3rd person for the last sentence. You really should have had a paragraph break and something to delimit the change. There is also 3rd person omniscient, where the 3rd person narrator knows the thoughts of the characters. If you've read the Harry Potter books, most of them are written that way, mostly limiting to Harry's POV to the point where it was very close to 1st while still remaining 3rd.
Average, a bit mawkish in places.
The commenter below asking "How many times can a girl take off her pajamas?" Just where in this story does it mention pajamas?
Odd but interesting Daddy/Daughter, but lesbian step-mother hmmmm very different concept.
So hot how helpless fathers can be….daughters are completely in charge as they tighten around that throbbing cock…so fertile and sexy…