All Comments on 'Rebirth'
by Inkhorn
- 884 Comments (Page 3)
Still a helluva story. Desperately wanted to grab him by the lapels, shake him and yell at him to man up and make someone else pay for his pain. Joe needed extermination. Worst thing he could do to Gwen would have been make her live alone without Joe or him.
The MC was really stupid and needy. But then some people are in real life, so it wasn't inauthentic. Nor was the fact that it took him so many years to get past the betrayal.
But the claim that he still loves the cheater ? I don't buy that. He's mistaken in that: You don't have to "still love" someone who betrayed you in order to still feel the pain when you reflect on it. Nor does that make you a "wimp."
Directly into either a swinging bat or tire iron. Significant pain immediately. The slut?...Just walk away. No going back from that shit storm.
This is the "normal guy crushed by a double betrayal" story I was hoping for when I slogged through Best Friends Forever, the most overwrought and masochistic LW melodrama on this website!
You know why I like this story? Gwen may have been a selfish, lying bitch but she cried for him. She didn't just cry ABOUT him or about LOSING him, she cried FOR HIM and HIS suffering! Her love was real... But not enough, and that's the realest breakdown a marriage can suffer.
It was just too painful reading the protagonist"s indecisive meanderings, when all he got was short sharp texts and words from his entitled wife.Couldn't believe Gwen"s and Joe"s reactions! That being her stand, why was he labouring over his decision.to opt out of the marriage? One moment Jack says he had eight good years and then he says this relationship/marriage has been a lie from the start. Of course it was a lie ! Gwen has been fucking the scumbag Joe from the very beginning and refused to give him up.She married Jack for a meal ticket and even admitted it. But still the guy went haywire after the divorce, for FOURTEEN YEARS!!! Can't say how realistic this story could be.
After the first two pages i skipped to end , hoping there was no reconciliation. I hope somewhere in there the bitch got burned.
Pages of stupid verbal meanderings of a weak man. Good grief! And some deluded people think the plot is true to life,
Very well done. It’s not like anything else in the LW category. When Jack said there was one final curve thrown at him, I expected a death, or severe illness tied to the DNA - maybe early onset Alzheimer’s for Annabelle. Now, his plight was kind of severe. 14 years of poverty, culminated by getting shot walking into a robbery? Severe. Suddenly losing his trust issues? Or did he just not care about life enough to care? That’s a stretch. But the daughter was a great twist, and the reunion was uplifting.
I became a little tired of reading cheating wives stories where the husband was always successful, had money and influence, and found that there were a ton of women lined up to fuck him the moment he was single
Yep, but you didn't have to make him so weak and helpless. He didn't have to be super successful but he did need to be a man. Instead you turned him into a sniveling little bitch.
You are a good writer, I read the whole 9 pages, but really you needed to put some balls on this guy.
Great story,but I didn't really care for your characters. I can't stand weak, spineless men like Jack. Cheaters like Gwen and Joe deserve all the misery !I've can bring them. I didn't like it, but I read it all.
What is this crap?
Is being married supposed to be like collecting Starpoints?
Kick the bitch to the curb and you lose a free coffee?
Damn this was good. The audacity of Gwen!! I'm glad it worked out for him in the end though
I liked that you didn't have Jack, immediately have a better life, but having him go off the deep-end was a bit much.
One thing I was surprised about was when he was talking to Gwen about loving Joe more, was the fact she couldn't/wouldn't give up Joe for him, but was prepared to lose him to keep Joe.
Jesus I fkn hated this bailed out when I saw the direction and jumped to confirm it was so. Horrible villains no justice and wimp useless victim. Absolute crap for me.
Nicely done. Memorable characterization tied to a fairly realistic take on things. Worth the read.
Yeah, the broken husband came off a little wimpy, but tough thoughts pale with the reality of broken promises and the pain of loving someone and not having it work. It is not easy not having what you want, and sometimes compromised are made. He didn't compromise much, just enough to advance the story and learn more about his soon to be ex.
While he doesn't wind up a multi millionaire with a harem , this is still much more than the victim lands on his feet. Still, loved the story, and hope they're will be more .
Beating them bloody is criminal, allowing her to keep Joe is wimpy- about all he can do is cut the ties and run. Certainly, Inkhorn has written Jack as unanchored to family unit (except sister) and Gwen was his sole focus. He personified monogamy.
So when her polygamist mindset is revealed, one can see another issue: Gwen wants someone to feed and house her while she entertains two lovers, getting the best of each. This ignores reality: no human can be perfect in all respects.
This is implied in more than one LW story; somehow, the feminists refuse to admit that dominant wives like to be 'kept' while playing the field.
I only have one problem with this story. It ended before I was ready for it to end.
Inkhorn is a very talented writer.
As far as the story line--I gave up on pg 4 when he had a conversation with Joe. I couldn't fathom standing in my house and doing that. It made me sick to my stomach to read that.
He deserved to be shit on and cheated on.
I can't finish this. It's written well and has a great start but our hero is such a spineless POS. Call him Jellyfish. I gave up caring what might happen to him about page 3.
So, no score. Thanks for sharing, sorry I couldn't continue.
I kept hoping he would grow a pair
Sorry but really not can Not understand wimps
Even if get ass whipped mark them as old Marine Corps instructor told us
Loved her when she was fucking him longer than you were together
Get annulment meets tests
I find myself agreeing with the author about so many of the topics raised within the story. I found it to be sad and wonderful, with morals thrown in, but only if your looking. It was messy and had periods of wtf that had me thinking it was both unreal and so true to life, yet also had some surreal parts. All in all there was a lot of growth shown and compassion. I loved it
So many of the stories that I read on the site are full of male macho bullshit! I’m sure everyone would love to be the tough guy who served his country with great distinction and uses that to get revenge. But that’s not real life and sometimes people are hurt so badly it almost becomes impossible for them to live. You captured that hurt and anguish beautifully and yes there were times I would’ve loved to grab him and held him to grow a set but then I realize this is who he is. Wonderful character development, they were believable and real.
For a whiny spineless wimp. I hated him more than his cheating slut wife.
Writing was good but a waste of my time.
The ex wife was an evil slut and deserved to be burnt, along with his ex friend. Didnt have too much sympathy for the husband because he was such a wimpy loser. Didnt like this at all.
Wonderful character development - especially the dealing with depression and the blackness of life in that state! Disliked the guy's continuing love for a cuckolding wife but it was clearly reciprocated by a woman who did indeed love both men at the same time.
Made it exasperating to want the action to move faster. Filler isn't all that interesting to the story.
This is the second time I've read this story, but it must have been a while back. I finally figured that out when he heard how wife and lover wanted to keep it going.
Still a great read.
Well written. - BUT, what an ass Jack was! Instead of falling apart, the stupid wimp should have waited for the divorce to be finalized, got cynical and moved in to the ex-wife and lover's house. Then , as assured by Joe when they had that three-way discussion, he could continue to fuck his ex - wife while getting himself organized and Joe could then deal with his own jealousy!! After all Joe did say he loved Gwen enough to share her with Jack if the boot was on the other foot. Overall, a dreadful plot and very uncomfortable! 3*s.
She got the most special thing from Jack an man can give a woman he loves...A baby and she raised it knowing It was Jack's...Again she has a secret she has to keep...but this time from Joe...But by faith...Charity finds out the truth...good for both of them... but he now knows what happened to Gwen...she should know what happened to him...fair is fair........
Lots of great emotion going around. Not hard to imagine falling into the hole Jack did and not hard to image coming out on the other side with a new perspective.
One thing that always puzzles me: when the husband finds out about the wife cheating, the husband leaves for a motel. In my own mind, I would like to think that the husband stays and kicks the wife out, or, at the very least, moves her out of his bedroom.
Anyway, thanks for a great tale!
"Rebirth" is simply outstanding. I wouldn't change a period or a comma. It's magnificent exactly as written. Easily one of the very best I've ever read here.
Bravo! And thank you for sharing it with us.
But the rest of us have lived, or known someone who has gotten the prostate exam from family court/life. Why be depressed reading shit like this?
Very depressing story, not at all entertaining. The author made Jack in to one of the biggest losers I have read about.
So sad.
No way she loved him that much she choose the other guy.
Her option was him alone or be would leave and she picked the other guy by refusing to drop him.I
What divorce? Wouldn't annulment work?
She picked him for money and to raise others kids.
Sounds like fraud. Which works for annulment.
And I would do thank the other guy for being a cuckold lol.
Definitely very long but worth reading to the end. If you were going for realism you achieved it and the death scene is very well written. But um there’s like no sex in this.
Yep. Good warning, though. Remember the name, and next time just pass it.
You are right, most of LW stories have the same standard plot, this is nicely different .
Characters aren't cheap and their feelings are well described.
A largely fictional story about life happening in ways stranger than fiction. Bravos. Have just found this talented writer, and hopefully look forward to more of his work.
So much to say, reflect upon. No time now. Will return later.
P.S. a 5* effort, surely. Keep submitting!
On Page 3 when they were texting. I realize this is fiction, or at least hope it is, but come on... How can anyone believe that Jack took her away from him? He never had her to begin with. The slut and the pussy. Signed: BTW
How come he let Joe get off Scot free?.He should have seriously injured him,after all prison would have been better than the situation he found himself in.Plus I can't believe his sister never tried to find him. How did Candy get to know and contact his sister,did she do this before Charity appeared on the scene?.
Jack and Charity seemed indifferent first meeting,but it quickly resolved to where they could grow to love each other as Father and Daughter,despite what Gwen did all those years ago.
Thankfully Charity showed a fondness to have Jack as her Dad,and pretty much she disliked Joe who helped raise her,so Jack ended one-upping both Gwen and Joe to have a daughter who likes him better than the Parents who took care of her.
Oh and it was hilarious that Joe got cuckolded after Jack and Gwen got divorced,and Joe wasn't the biological dad of Charity,talk about adding insult to injury that Joe was a lousy human much less a good lover if Gwen lied to him like she did to Jack.Pretty funny how Gwen and Joes lives turned out.
Now about Charity coming out to Jack as a lesbian and having a girlfriend was surprising,but to be honest after what her Mom and Joe were like no wonder Charity switched teams,and also Jack seemed okay with Charity being lesbian,and maybe Charity has learned from her Mothers behavior that honesty is always the best policy.
In the end I am glad Jack,Cindy,Charity,and Charity's Girlfriend could come together and have a loving family,unlike Joe and Gwen.Thanks for the read.
That is a powerful story. Joe is truly an asshole, and he reminds me of someone, but Gwen just can't see beyond her own needs. She is terribly weak. I know women like that - they mask their weakness with an artificial strength where the worry about others after they have inflicted the most terrible pain. Very well told.
Second reading, and still good. Thank you for the afterword, it’s helpful understanding that your intent was to show a darker, but realistic, post-separation life. The story wasn’t stupid-pessimistic-loses-his-limbs, but based on a young man prone to depression. Been there, done that., For me it lasted 4 years and I didn’t have near-death experiences.
So thank you for making mental health a focal point.
I knew I shouldn't have read it.
Wife trots out old tired brain dead bimbo trope. "It's my body.."
Then Jack, is upset cause he upset her????
Man I thought he would bleed out when he got his period. Long before he almost bled out from a bullet.
Let's himself be the bad guy. Is depressed becaues he upset his cheat cunt of a wife ,who lied for 10 years, when he divorced her???
Nope. Pamprin and pads are not going to solve this guys problems. What a wimp.
So mad I wasted my time reading it.
Congrats! Great story and very well told. You must have worked very hard on conveying Jack's emotions and mental turmoil.
no judge is going to order counseling when that level of infidelity is occurring. Plus dyes a f6ckihg cunt. I'd have nothing to do with the kid or the sister if she pushed it he wasn't there for 19 years . Child by blood only.. no reasonbto get involved . He should h sbr beaten both if them his ex slut and her fuck pal to a pulp .
Story less than a year old.
With 265 comments.
WOW.
I consider one Favorite per thousand views to be the benchmark -- few attain it, especially in Loving Wives category.
This story attained more than two and a half times that.
WOW.
Story was reminiscent of JimBob44, who also has stories showing the underbelly of life, including one where the guy works for the city sewer department; another, the guy runs a garbage collection business; another, the protagonist is married to an obese loser. Like this story, they compel you to read. And, after all the bad, comes a bright ending.
WOW.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Paul in Oklahoma
that I have read, but will check out your others. Liked the story and you write very well in my opinion. I have a couple of comments and they are not meant as anything other than my own thoughts.
Fourteen years is a very long time for him to go off the deep end. Of course for someone who is suffering from depression and is sort of predisposed to suicide maybe not. Also I would like to know what that first love of his life did to cause him to attempt suicide. Not really necessary but I think it would have given a better insight into his thinking and depression.
I do like the story and thanks for your hard work. I would hope you would continue writing.
Woodmanone
I re-read your story after seeing that it was similar to another that I read - Your story was so much better! 5*
Quite a decent story, and probably a true reflection of the problems caused by most divorces.
Was surprised how the interlude really setup the story for a brilliants ending.. realty worth the read.
But I quit reading as I am not a psychologist and don't want to be.
Read for enjoyment not some wimpy ass character
No empathy for him what so ever
jtwheels
I agree that he was weak but some people are just that. I thought this was a 5 star story but I would have liked him to have met Gwen again after all these years and for him to find out she knew she had made a terrible mistake and that she had been sad for many many years. When she had found out he had been shot years after the event she had gone into a deep depression that had seen her relationship with Joe really suffer. Still a very well written story.
Wow. I loved it. The whole story is right inside my wheelhouse and you nailed it. Absolutely nailed it.
I was a bouncer working in a strip bar in wellington, New Zealand. I can relate with fondness that after work 5am, myself and one other bouncer and several of the girls use to head over to my apartment loaded down with alcohol at least once a fortnight to my apartment and end up playing monopoly, x-box or D&D as a wind down for the night. I forgot about this until I read your story. Thanks for reminding me of those times. They were truely special to me.
realy loser story
in the afterword to the author shows that he wanted to write something more believable, but why am I not buying it? maybe because this is blatant shit? oh yes, it is... the more sad the reference to real people and events looks. Why does the author think that there are only idiots here? the story will be interesting only when the behavior and actions of the characters have logic and consistency. why is it not here at all? can anyone imagine a husband who catches his wife on hot bed with lover and begs her to talk about it? only one reason for this could be personal experience. in this case, I pass this, and advise others. it is a pity that there are no ratings below one star.
If you can call them that, have never been near anybody depressed. If this was me, since I am depressed from child abuse I would be like the man in this story. But I have to admit, 14 years in isolation...maybe. I feel that every day for the last 56. So you wrote a difficult story and did it well. Don't take the naysayers to heart. They have no idea.
Whilst the author spent nine pages on this,it could have shorter and thereby having room for possibly the most important part,getting married again and sharing his life with his daughter.
Become a cuck or be a lonely mess for over a decade. Suicidal thoughts and actions. Accept dating a stripper, because deep their really caring trustworthy people.
Im pretty sure a woman wrote this drivel.
Bad at all. But this story could and should have been told in 5-6 pages instead of 9. We all know which way it is going. Hence there is no need to elaborate. Focus, focus, focus instead of meandering.
Just shake off the negative comments. This was a wonderfully written story and an original take on what has become a tired genre. I've known men who've gone through similar experiences (okay, maybe not being asked to share a wife) and found themselves broken by it. The downward spiral isn't an uncommon occurrence. Self-doubt and lack of trust often keep them from being able to consider a relationship again.
To a man, though, every last one of them finally managed to pull out of the death spiral they'd found themselves in and finally find a firm footing in their lives. And yes, that included finding love again.
Great read.
I'm stubborn. I have a policy of finishing stories I start regardless of how I feel about the writing or the writer. I try(not always successful) to evaluate the story by how well it's written rather than how well I agreed or didn't agree with actions taken by the characters. When I got to page 5 in this I came very close to just shutting it down and pretending I had never discovered this story. Absolutely awful characters with stupidly written dialogue and don't get me started on the laughable divorce proceedings. I soldiered on and finished the story. It actually improved all the way up to tolerable. A weak 3* effort.
This was an excellent story even if a bit longish. One can always skim a little of length bothers you. But, you can't make 8up good writing or an interesting tale, and this had everything. A 5*.
Really good, but in fairness to the other stories you were talking about sometimes what people want isn't reality especially in these sites, they just want a place to escape or to justify something they did or ever thought of doing so, doesn't make it right but it is what it is. Anyways it felt really good to read a realistic one after a while.. Hopefully we'll see more of you
having available women after the divorce, etc. This story, however, is supposed to be more "realistic". Unfortunately, it's less realistic that the boilerplate "I caught her cheating" story.
Why? Because this author, like many LW authors, can't write a credible male character. Instead, we again and again get "men" written as if they were emotionally unstable women. The examples that could be culled from this story are numerous. I laughed out loud when the author put this in Jack's mouth: "Meeting with Gwen, at least, wasn't stupid." Apart from outlier cucks or mentally ill/seriously emotionally disturbed men, there's not a man alive who would think that meeting with Gwen would be anything other than a stupid waste of time. Jack already knew that she had cheated on him the entire time he had known her and that she was insisting that he continue to be a good cuck.
If you are a man, you don't need to know more or have stupid Dr. Phil/Oprah discussions. Moreover, having Jack listen to Joe lecture Jack (really acting as a cypto-counselor in the story and spewing the same sorts of brain-dead bromides written into counselors' mouths in other stories) on why he should just accept being a good cuck for Gwen's benefit was hilarious.
Author, you want realism? No man would listen to that. Moreover, if someone tried it he would be told to STFU and/or get a beat down. (For our authors unfamiliar with the legal system, simple assault cases are not high on the list of prosecutors' priorities because they are relatively trivial and have to be proven beyond a reasonable doubt. Under the circumstances written, Gwen and Joe wouldn't have tried to file a complaint because it would have exposed her sluttishness and, in the alternative, neither would be viewed as a credible witness under the circumstances. So, authors, write what the fuck you actually know.)
Jack represents realism? He is unrecognizable psychologically as a man. He is just an elaborately developed, museum quality specimen of the all too usual weak, blubbering, low-T stereotype of husbands found in LW story after LW story. At least with the stories in which the husbands are special forces, computer adepts, or just take-no-prisoners good old boys, you can find lots of these in real life. They are men. Jack is almost unrecognizable as male. Certainly, men can become emotional, but Jack is as wrapped up in his emotions as as an unstable teenage girl.
Why are men in LW written this way so often? Damned if I know for sure, but I think it's projection. Feminized men writing feminized male characters.
"I became a little tired of reading cheating wives stories where the husband was always successful, had money and influence, and found that there were a ton of women lined up to fuck him the moment he was single."
The wave of cheating wives of this site, and you worried about Husbands getting their grove back. This guy was so pathetic, what World you live in were how he act is the norm.
In spite of the naysayers, I found the story to be very believable and life-like. While I did think the story was a bit long, I stayed with it and enjoyed it. In my opinion, it was a well-written story and I gave it 5*.
I commented that this was a 5* story after I read it the first time. I have now read it a 2nd time, and it is still a 5*, and I want to emphasize that the author is correct that too many LW stories follow the old unrealistic story line that the husband becomes successful with money and women lined up to fuck him, and it is refreshing to have a real story without fake endings.
I think that the husband's emotional trauma is unfortunate and perhaps overdone, as a real man or woman would not have allowed the cheating spouse to destroy his life for at least 15 years, but it is plausible and it is the author's right to choose the character of his protagonists -- even if some incoherent commentators such as ManoBlue assert that it is not the norm
Men react with rage not questions. The first time Joe said anything Jack would have crushed his wind pipe. Men aren't pussies like all these fag cucks In these stories
I gave this a three because of good writing but otherwise it would have been a one. Tedious and depressing, repetitive, unrealistic, overly wordy, and even boring are some descriptors that come to mind. The main character was terribly weak and, at times, dumb. I know that people with clinical depression have a hard road but this guy never really got help. Medication works best overall for most with this disorder. Simply talking away a depression rarely works as it’s a biochemical change in the brain, per current research, and it takes medication to correct this just as medication is needed to correct one’s high cholesterol. Jack, our hero, a nerd who should have been halfway smart, is incapable of making a decision for the longest time. The 19 year old lost child was very predictable even though the author wanted to spring it as a surprise. The knee replacement surgery that was good enough to last 80 years (they usually don’t last more than 15) still requires Jack to walk with a cane. This is not a story I would read more than once — the really good ones call me back for at least one re-read, but not this one.
The writing is good, ut overly wordy as others have pointed out. My issue is the MC throwing his life away for so long over a spouse that did not care for him. Over a decade of drifting because a woman an betrayed you? The MC has no sand in him
This story was painful to read on so many levels. First, way too wordy for way too little content. The first five pages could have been cut down to two, maybe three if you just cut out half of the adjectives. I mean, how many adjectives can you cram into one paragraph anyway? And there’s certainly no need to repeat a paragraph three times in three different ways, all saying the same thing. And there’s really no excuse for not burning Joe and Gwen, big time. Gwen not physically, of course, but Joe is another story. I think if Joe got smacked around enough he may just decide Gwen wasn’t really worth all that, and leave her and the town behind. That would have been punishment enough for Gwen too, I think. But that’s not how the author wrote it, so it is what it is. And what it is, is a story that’s painful to read, boring in a lot of places, and extremely dissatisfying overall.
Too bad Jack didn't have a car exhaust in that bedroom when ho and asshole were sleeping. They'd have stayed asleep and his life would have been much better...
Brilliant story, but you should have had the hero beat up the other fella with his navy seal training like normal lw stories.
While I'm a BTB and the bastard fan for cheating wives with the cheated husband coming out on top I enjoyed your story. It is much more accurate on what is going to happen in real life than most of the stories on Lit.
Jack seems both "too smart" and "too stupid" at the same time as you have characterized him in this story.
He never was actually married to Gwen was my impression. No way a real "wife" gets away with that for 10 years or so. IF he had actually played the role of husband instead of just roommates with benefits.
But maybe they were both just sociopathic narcissist types -- with Jack playing his "games" every Saturday while she played hers with Joe.
It's my body," she said again a little louder, "I can do what I want with it. Just because we're married doesn't give you the right to approve or disapprove of what I do with it."
Stopped at that stupidity right there.
The story should've ended with the daughter so pissed at her mom and Joe that she cuts off all ties to them and her mom loses EVERYTHING from her marriage!
Being a bit of a BTB man I have a lot of sympathy with Dlh143 but I can live with Jack's final request of Charity!
Good story, a little stretched out, but considering the time- line. well done.
I have to assume you're mentally challenged here, no other explanation as to why this incoherent drivel seemed to resonate with the brain dead masses.