Regrets and Consequences

My first foray into Loving Wives. Not a BTB, but definitely not a RAAC. I'm hoping it's maybe a more realistic view of a marriage. Not much sex, but again, probably a little more realistic. And yes, I should have submitted it a couple of weeks ago, but sometimes life does get in the way.

**********

Friday, October 25, 2019 - the Hansen Realty Company Halloween Party at the Magnolia Hotel in downtown St. Louis.

Chris walked into the party late. He was actually surprised he was here at all. Ever since Sarah, his first wife, was killed five years ago by a drunk driver who was between parties, Chris has hated the idea of any Halloween party. The last four years, when his current wife Steph asked, he always offered to watch the kids so she could go, but the pain still kept him from attending. A couple of times, she made her excuse to her boss and stayed home as well.

This year, Chris decided it was time to stopping mourning Sarah and rejoin the party (pun intended). He hadn't told Steph he was coming, because he wanted to surprise her. He had been planning this for a couple of months, and actually got one of his cousins to help him with his costume. His cousin was a professional camera operator, and had connections to costuming and special effects departments in the movie industry. Chris talked to Cory about getting him a Mandalorian costume. This was big. Nobody had one for sale yet. The show wouldn't even premiere on Disney until the next month. But Chris had always been a huge Star Wars fan, and loved the character as soon as he saw the very first trailer in August. Fortunately, Cory's connections were able to put together a very convincing replica. Chris loved that the helmet would allow him to wander through the party anonymously until he could surprise Steph.

The party was officially beginning at 7:00, but most people didn't get there until an hour or so later. If it was normal, it would last until well after midnight, and because everyone always had a really good time, Steph's boss always rented several rooms for guests to sleep rather than drive home under the influence.

Chris and Steph usually arrived home from work at about the same time, usually by 5:30, and that day was no exception. They had a quick dinner together with their five kids. When they married, they agreed that family meals were important, and unless they had very unusual circumstances, they always ate together at the dining room table, and talked about their day. Mom going to a party later was not considered an unusual circumstance. Besides, dinner was nearly always done by 6:30 and that would give Steph plenty of time to put on her costume and take an Uber to the party. She was packing an overnight bag just in case.

When she came back down the stairs, Chris and the kids were impressed. She was dressed as a Spanish Pirate wench. The outfit was sexy, even though it was a very appropriate outfit for a wife and mother. She wore a white peasant blouse with an under bust corset, and flowing skirts that reached nearly to her ankle. She wore her long, wavy hair down, and had a mask of starched lace around her eyes.

Her teenage son, Daniel was the first to comment, "Wow, Mom! You look great!"

Chris did a double-take, "Wow is right! Beautiful as always!"

Steph did a little curtsy, "Thank you, kind sirs."

Her phone buzzed that her ride was there. She grabbed her bag and gave Chris a quick kiss, "I love you. Have a good night, everybody. I'll probably see you in the morning."

Chris watched out the front door as she got into her Uber and then turned back to the kids, "Daniel and Katelyn, can I talk to the two of you for a minute?"

Katelyn was the first to respond, "Sure, dad, what's up?"

"Well, I didn't want your mom to make a big deal out this, but I'm planning to surprise her at her party."

Daniel nodded and said, "Really, that's cool."

"But that means I'm going to need the two of you to watch your sisters. It probably will be all night."

Katelyn smiled, "No problem. It's good that you and mom get to do this. You never get away that much."

Chris returned the smile. They really were a great set of kids. "Thanks, guys. I guess I should go get changed."

Twenty minutes later, he came down in his full Mandalorian costume, and it was clear the kids were impressed. Daniel was the only other male in the house, and he was immediately jealous. "Where did you find that? I didn't know they had those yet. And it looks so real. I would have expected something more cheaply made."

"Well, my cousin Cory pulled in some favors from his special effects guys, and they custom made it for me. It was a little expensive, but definitely worth it."

Oh, wow, you've got to let me wear that sometime. That is so cool!"

"I think we might be able to arrange that. Particularly after you watch the girls tonight. You guys be good tonight. Your mom and I will see you tomorrow."

Chris decided to drive his own car to the hotel. He knew he would be staying with Steph after the party, and having their own car meant that they could head home in the morning on their own time. He pulled into the large parking garage down the street from the hotel, but he decided to leave his overnight bag in the car until later.

It didn't take long once he got into the hotel before he found the party in the main ballroom. The way it was set up, there was a large open space for mingling and dancing, but that was always a little loud for those that wanted to just have a drink and talk. So there were also decorations set up that provided isolated little areas for more private discussions.

By the time Chris got there, the party was in full swing. Hansen Realty was a large operation, so there were lots of employees, as well as spouses, boyfriends, and girlfriends. But the firm was also noted for inviting a few other guests, usually contractors that did renovations for the firm, or frequent customers.

Chris first went to the bar where he could get a drink before tracking down his wife. He suddenly realized he hadn't considered this part of the costume. He didn't want to take off the helmet and carry it around all night, because that would definitely ruin the effect. So, as strange as it sounded, he asked the bartender for an draft beer with a straw. There was enough space under the helmet to reach his mouth with a straw. He and the bartender had a good laugh about the guy in the full armor drinking beer with a straw, but it worked.

He then set off on his quest to find his wife. He wandered around looking for Steph, but he couldn't find her on the open part of the floor. When he finally found her in one of the side areas, he suddenly wished he hadn't. Steph was in one of the more private corners surrounded by coffins and skeletons, in a deep embrace passionately kissing another guest. In this case, it wasn't any guest, it was John, Chris's best friend, and he was dressed as a pirate, which meant that Steph had planned her costume as part of a couples thing.

Chris knew nothing would be the same. Even if she wasn't actually cheating on him, just being in this situation was breaking the spouse rule, and he would have a difficult time trusting her after this. He also knew he needed to know more of what was going on. He walked past the couple and into the next space where he could take a seat and pretend to nurse his drink. At least in this situation, he had the perfect disguise to witness and listen to everything they did and said. Unfortunately, all he could hear at this point was the sound of kissing and light moaning. He pulled his phone out hoping he could it would record a little of what they were saying. He didn't know if it would work or not, but he thought it was worth a try.

"Steph, we can't continue on like this. You know I want you. Leave Chris and marry me."

"Be very clear, John. I love you and want to be with you. But I am a package deal. I've got three kids to think about as well."

Chris' heart broke wide open at that. They had five kids, although it was a "yours, mine, and ours" situation. Steph had two kids from her first marriage, he had two from his first marriage, and now they had one together. But something about the way she talked about only three hurt him more than he expected. From the moment he met them, he loved her two kids as much as loved his own. To him, it was always their FIVE kids.

Chris' mind flashed back to when he first met Steph nearly 5 years earlier. He and his daughters had just moved to St. Louis from Kansas City. It was January 2015, and his wife had died the October just before that. Those first months after her death weighed very heavily on Chris, and he knew he needed to make a change quickly before he was overwhelmed.

His daughters, Ashley and Emma were only three and one at the time, so they didn't really even understand the move. Chris's parents lived about an hour east of KC, so they could still easily make the drive to visit them in St. Louis. He talked to his boss, and they arranged a transfer to the plant in the suburb of Wentzville. Chris was a mechanical engineer doing quality checks for GM. Moving from the Fairfax plant in KC to the Wentzville plant simply meant that he was going from checking out Cadillacs and Malibus to checking mid-size pickups and vans.

Chris met Steph when he started looking for a new home. Even though they were still relatively young, Chris and Sarah were smart enough to invest it good life insurance policies, so Chris was able to look for a nice house in a good neighborhood that didn't force him to commute for long periods of time that kept him away from his girls.

Steph had several properties for him to visit. They seemed to get along fairly well. And visiting several houses over several days gave them time to talk to each other. They quickly became friends sharing stories about their families.

Chris and Steph had stopped for lunch and coffee when Chris began his story. Steph learned how Chris had first met Sarah at a college Halloween party during their Sophomore year. Neither one was very experienced. Both had dated a little in high school, but both were fairly quiet, shy people. Chris joked that since he was an engineer, it was pretty obvious that he was a nerd, and that pretty much killed his love life.

Sarah wanted more than anything else to be an elementary teacher. She really wanted to teach Kindergarten or First Grade. Of course, she joked that being a teacher basically automatically made her a nerd as well, so she and Chris were perfect for each other. They decided to be exclusive by their third date. The funny thing about that is that they never really needed to make that decision, because neither one of them had ever dated anyone else in college. The same night they pledged their love and gave each other their virginities.

"I'm not sure why I'm sharing all of this with you. I've never really shared it with anyone else." Steph smiled at him as he continued , "I guess I just needed to get it off my chest."

"I'm glad you did."

Chris continued, "For the rest of our college years, we were inseparable. The only times we were apart was when we were in classes. We spent all of our evenings together, basically like we were already married. We would have dinner together, talking about our day, and reviewing what we did in class, and then we would usually end up going to bed and making love most nights.

Eventually, we graduated, and then we were married the very next month. By that fall, Sarah was pregnant with Ashley. Some people questioned why we were having kids really early in out marriage, but in reality, we had been together for almost four years, and acted like we were an old married couple almost immediately. For us, it seemed like forever. Emma came along a couple years later. I'll never forget her birthday. Sarah gave birth on our third anniversary. He paused, deep in thought.

Steph watched him for a few seconds, "How did Sarah die?" She saw a shadow clearly cross his face. "Never mind. I can see it still hurts a lot."

"No, it's okay. Again, it seems to help to talk it out. I've not had anybody really to talk to about it." He paused again, seemingly to gather some courage. "It was late October, and we were having a quiet evening at home. Sarah got up to change Emma's diaper, and realized it was the next to last one we had in the house. We were usually so good about keeping an extra package around. Of course, we knew that wouldn't last the night and the next morning, so Sarah headed out to Walmart to get another package. It was already 10 at night. I offered, but she said it was her fault for not paying closer attention to how many we had. She was on her way home when her car was t-boned by a drunk driver. He was on a Halloween pub crawl. Ironically, they were holding it a week early specifically because they didn't want anybody taking a chance drinking and driving when kids were trick or treating."

"That's horrible."

"Yeah, my attorney managed to get a pretty good settlement from the participating pubs since they had published that little bit of information. He convinced them that it proved their culpability. The good news is I can use that money to hire a part-time nanny for the girls."

"I guess that's one good thing."

"I guess, but I'd rather have Sarah back."

"How about we get back on the search. Let's build some happy memories for you and your girls."

After a half-dozen more houses, Chris found the one he really liked. It had five bedrooms, and a large backyard. He thought that would eventually give each of the girls there own room, plus a nice guest room, and maybe a home office or game room. He especially liked the fenced in yard that would give the girls plenty of room to run around as they got older.

"Well, I guess you won't need me much longer."

"That's not true. You've become a good friend, and I'd really like to get together sometimes just to talk."

"That would be nice."

"Would you like to get some coffee in a day or two. They're letting me stay on half-time for the rest of the month to let me get settled in."

"How about Wednesday mid-afternoon. I don't have to get my kids until 4:30 that day. They've got their after school clubs that day."

"Sounds good. Meet you at your office about 1:30?"

"Perfect. I'll be ready and waiting."

"But this time, you've got to share your story."

"I don't know. I've got some pretty wonderful kids, but it was a pretty painful life getting them."

"That's okay. You don't have to share, but I'd really like to know more about my new best friend."

"Well, when you put it that way, I guess I'll have to share."

Chris picked her up promptly at 1:30 on Wednesday.

As soon as she was fastening her seat belt, Steph suggested, "Let's skip getting the coffee. It's a really nice day, even if it is the last week of January. Let's go to the Missouri Botanical Garden. We can get a coffee there and stroll though the garden while we talk. Besides, you'll eventually want to take your girls there, and you need to know all about it."

"Sounds good."

They just walked for the first few minutes. Finally, Steph let out a deep sigh and begin, "My life has always been a little bit of a challenge. My mother was a huge mess. She grew up in a rather protective home, and rebelled immediately after going to college. She started drinking, she started using drugs, and she was sleeping with everyone she could. Believe it or not, I was conceived when she was high on cocaine during a frat party gang bang. Apparently there were at least 10 guys involved, and mom and her parents were too embarrassed to track down my father, so my birth certificate actually says 'Father Unknown.'"

"Wow, I didn't know they really did that."

"Apparently they do sometimes, especially when there's no other option. Anyway, mom's college career ended abruptly, and she went home to my grandparents' house to have me. My grandparents are my real parents. Mom managed to stop drinking and using while she was pregnant. From what my grandmother has told me, getting her clean was a real challenge. She had become addicted very quickly. What they didn't realize was that she went right back to it almost immediately after giving birth to me."

Steph was quiet for a few seconds to gather her thoughts. "The problem was mom started selling herself to make money for her drug habit. When she was arrested for the second time, my grandparents insisted she go to rehab. They also legally got temporary custody of me. As you can imagine, it didn't make a difference. When I was two, she was arrested a third time and was sent to prison. My grandparents then got permanent custody. Mom died in prison a couple of years after that. I was four at the time. The drugs had weakened her heart, and it killed her."

"I'm so sorry, Steph."

"I want to say it didn't matter, because she was never a part of my life. She was always more like a distant aunt that visited once in a while, and who was a little off. But she was still my mother, and it hurt that she didn't love me enough to be with me."

"Again, I'm really very sorry."

"Life was pretty good growing up. Instead of being a daddy's girl, I was a granddaddy's girl. He was such a wonderful man. I know he spoiled me rotten, but we had a great time. I love my grandmother, but it was nothing like the love my grandfather and I shared."

"What happened?"

"He had a heart attack just before my eighteenth birthday. Just like you and Sarah, it was about a week before Halloween."

"Sorry. I guess we're part of the same club nobody wants to join."

"Yeah. Anyway, I was lost for a couple of months, looking to be loved like my grandfather loved me. Unfortunately, I found Mark. We had dated a few times over our Junior and Senior years, but I had managed to hold off having sex with him until my grandfather died. After that, he got through my resistance. And, of course, I got pregnant over Christmas break my Senior year. A week after we graduated, Mark and I were married at the courthouse with just his parents and my grandmother as witnesses. We stayed with my grandmother for about six months. Daniel was born in September, and the three of us moved into a little apartment. Mark was working for a construction company building houses. Just under two years later Katelyn was born. Things were good for a little while. I mean things were tight, but I thought we were a happy little family. It wasn't the perfect way to start, but I really did love Mark, and our kids were wonderful."

"So what happened?"

"Just before Katelyn's fifth birthday, Mark just walked away. He never said anything. He just headed out to work that morning like normal. I dropped the kids off at school like normal, and went to my job. I had started selling real estate that fall. At the end of the day, I picked up the kids, and went home to make dinner, but Mark never came home. I made up some excuse for the kids and sent them to bed at their normal time, and then started calling a couple of Mark's friends. Nobody had heard from him. I then called his boss, but he said Mark didn't even show up for work that morning."

"Really?"

"At that point, I was starting to panic, and called my grandmother. She called Mark's parents, but they hadn't heard anything either. The next day, I went to get some cash from the ATM to treat the kids to dinner, but I found that Mark had taken all but $100 dollars. That was when I called the police. They said there wasn't much they could do, but they completed a missing person's report."

"I'm just flabbergasted. How could somebody do that?"

"I did eventually find out. About three months later, the police found him. He had been arrested in Texas. He killed a couple he was robbing. All he got from them was $218. Of course, Texas takes murder pretty seriously. He was quickly convicted, and is serving two life sentences. The only good part of the deal is the divorce was pretty simple. I wanted to be completely free of him, so my lawyer got him to renounce any claim on the children. It's not like he would ever be able to see them again anyway, and that way I wouldn't have to ever talk to him again for any reason."