All Comments on 'Regrets and Consequences'
by mabsls
- 119 Comments
Not a bad story. But there was an overpowering feeling that the ending was incomplete and just a bit off.
Scores 3/5
Courts are very reluctant to give primary custody to the father, especially her children. So she would have got the house AND the kids. Prenups only apply to material goods, judges have the authority to override prenups if involved children.
And how is it he was able to sneak into their room? Have you heard how noisy those hotel doors are? The sir pressure change and lastly, some dude in a costume is literally watching them? Sorry, don’t buy it.
In the end, Chris had no regrets. His life was complicated, but ultimately, he had the unquestioned love of his children. What more did he need?......NOT STEPH THAT'S FOR SURE!
The story was interesting to peruse and I thank the author for sharing. I personally liked that Chris was resolute in terminating the relationship and yet moderated the letter of the lawful prenup. Nice touch. Kudos. Characters and dialogue were passable, but definitely need polish if mabsls has aspirations of making leap from journeyman amateur author to a compelling one.
Bottom line : Story seemed outlined well with good foundation poised to be slam dunk five star material but there weren't any knock out scenes where the power of the moment obliterated reader/character gulf. Keep writing please because this easily transcended average ( oft unreadable) submission.
Good story. You should have expanded a bit about Steph's life after the divorce, and her regrets. You also completely left out any mention of John. I'm sure neither Chris or Steph would have done anything to him, but word of mouth should have gotten through their friends that John was NOT to be trusted and would steal any wife or girlfriend if he was interested. He should have lot most of his friends, and possible considered moving.
It was a decent story, but lacked any excitement. Chris was stabbed in the back by his wife and best friend... but where was his bitterness and fury? Steph lied to Chris about loving him, used him as an ATM to pay for her family, then fucked his best friend... and he doesn't even get angry when he confronts the deceitful bitch?
Unfortunately, that meant the second half of the story was really tepid and not particularly interesting. Instead of adding all the detail about how Chris and Steph got together, I'd have preferred to find out more about Emily. She's the woman he ends up with, but you only introduced her in the second to last paragraph.
..or should I say more true to life, as you suggested. Not really often the BTB happens (however much some of us enjoy those tales), or the often ridiculous RAAC endings some stories have. Sadly means this probably won't score as high as I believe it should. A few odd spellings in early part of story but overall imo that was a decent story, so please foray in to LW as often as you like, compared to nearly all this week's rubbish it was excellent. Thank you and looking forward to your next work.
John got off with it? No confrontation with his "best friend"
I can understand his wife's perspective but she should have spoken to him about her feelings before the cheating. If she wasn't happy she should have moved out first but then there wouldn't be a story.
I enjoyed this story so 4 stars.
for a first time writer.
it felt a little bit paint by numbers but there was real emotion in a few spots.
4 stars.
Well done. Those of us who have been around can recognise real life in this story.
Probably. But it was mostly telegraphed, and it hit all of the standard LW points: kids siding with the not just the father but the step father, the prenup giving him the lion’s share, the “I’ll surprise her” discovery, etc. And a lot of time was spent on the back story.
It was good, but it doesn’t fit that she didn’t have sex for all of that time before him and suddenly decides to cheat on him.
You write very well. I hope you will continue to submit your stories here.
You started off with a pretty good story but ruined it by depicting your Male character as a weak, spineless individual.
Finally. A realistic breakup story. Most of the ones I know of went that way. No Burning and rarely any reconciliation. People rarely get over betrayal like this.
I agree with others that the author missed an opportunity to expound on the pain Chris found from her infidelity. Being used by his wife and best friend should have caused some rage. Why was Steph so speechless at the proposal if she really didn’t love Chris? Doesn’t the adoption father have the same rights as If he were a bio dad? I thought that’s the point of adoption, or is it somehow a second rate dad in the courts eyes?
Sure, I enjoy the BTBs, and even some of the RAACs. Hey....that’s why I come here 🤗
But this well written story was realistic from start to finish.
More please!
LW is my favorite genre on Literotica and you nailed it your first time out. You accomplished everything you said you would with the story. I could feel the pain Chris felt at each stage and it was believable. As a father of five kids myself, I fully understand the need to place the family above self and did a great job leading us through that. I also believe that in many circumstances the parents should do everything in their power to reconnect, but where there is an ongoing affair, not so much. Again, welcome to this genre and PLEASE don't be a stranger! 5*
Decent story. While I liked the characters, nothing in this tale really reached out and grabbed my interest. Drama wise it felt muted.
Gave you a 4. Thx.
Very good for a 1st time LW story... I felt there was a slight miss in the affects to his two girls (Ashley & Emma), only once did you indicate that they felt Steph was aloof towards them. Was Libby actual his or John's?
/
I assume that when Steph got the kids it was all five or just three; and what effect did that have on Ashley & Emma?
/
When the two oldest went to college and Steph wanted to see the kid(s) was it the remaining five for just Libby or the oldest three? By Chris marrying Emily a never-ending-story was created and short changed. Now with two more kids and Emily the family dynamics with Steph surely would have changed!
/
Story timeline was illusive at times.; I think it covered at least 7yrs.
/
I've read that some commenters think Chris was a wimp - but he was a father of five children. I would have liked to see something BAD happen to John but Steph would still have found another man following in her mothers footsteps minus drugs.
/
Still a 4.7*, Hooyah, salute.
Solid 5 star story. I liked the background but then you got bogged down a bit befoe the party then finished well afterwards. Chris was not some spineless idiot. He was a good family oriented man. I like
It’s always nice when an accomplished author jumps into the LW genre with a 5* offering.
I’ll look forward to your next story.
Not all break-ups have to end in BTB'S. Anger doesn't last forever. Mistrust is hard to overcome. Steph's betrayal of Chris with John his best bud was hard to take but most hate turns to indifference. John targeted Steph and I think he deserved a good beat down but it takes two to cheat. She made her choice but I think the blame should not be equal but more like 80/20. John showed his true colors after a while and Steph finally saw the light. Getting help for everyone is always a good idea. I think Steph's love for John was confused and it really was just lust. I think when there are kids in the picture and there is joint custody this type of outcome is very realistic. That is why I gave it a rating of (5*). This is just one mans opinion.
There is nothing weak about that father. He's a good man doing the right thing. He stood up for himself, defended his kids, and was more man than the "friend" screwing his wife behind his back. It was a very realistic story about a good man. Thanks for sharing it.
Five stars. While I normally prefer a BTB this story was well presented and enjoyable. Although I might have been reticent to have my daughters visit her knowing her feelings.
Yeah. He lost his wife, moved to another town, with a new job and looking for place for and his 3 and 1 year old daughters. Who was taking care of his toddlers while he was dating( and still mourning, of course)? And how much older is she really? Her kids are much older than his.
Anyway, Chris more emotions in his character. More anger, a bit of hate, confusion, etc. What would you eel if you find out that the one you is liar, a cheat, and just using you for convenience? Real? yeah right.
Meh....Chris is such a typical beta-male that getting cheated on by his next wife seems obvious. The guy comes across as spineless....enduring every abuse and humiliation to avoid conflict? What message does that send to his adopted son? Another soy-boy beta-male in the making?? The ex hurts financially a bit but completely shuts down romantically after?? Again...doesn’t seem realistic as her motivations for cheating would remain unfulfilled.
If I was Chris, as soon as I heard about Steph's mom and her ex I would have run away as fast as possible. The Grandmother was the only saving grace, thankfully for her grandchildren.
Good story, Chris was a stand up guy, who kept the kids as his priority. Well written.
Sad that Steph was/is so elf centered.
It would have been a more engaging story if the Chris would have exhibited a little anger over what they did to him.
Difficult for me to understand Chris's reaction to finding his wife in the arms of his best friend John. I can see perhaps why he didn't do anything at the party, but after he got the video and pics of them making love. NEVER!. Basically he allow for them to have a great night of making love, which is a weak move. Yeah I know it's all about the kids and not disrupting their lives. but why not hit them with a lamp or chair on the way out.
"His cousin was a professional camera operator, and had connections to costuming and special effects departments in the movie industry." - Of course he was! You can't have a Loving Wives husband left to his own devices, can you?
/
"She was packing an overnight bag just in case." - Why would she need to stay over if she's Ubering?
/
Over a page on his first marriage, her first marriage, and their dating? BTW, some indicators for where the flashback begins and ends would be helpful.
/
The kid can be told about his mother fucking another guy, but can't say "shit?" Fuck that!
/
Why do these guys always try to protect the wife's relationship with the kids?
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"I'm so sorry, Chris, I never meant to hurt you." - Why do they always say that? Maybe she's a LITTLE sorry, but how did she think he wouldn't be hurt? Sooner or later SHE was gong to pull the trigger on the marriage; didn't she think that would hurt him?
/
Too much psycho-babble at the end. I won't say that it's not accurate, just that it was boring. I wouldn't have helped her with the house. and him meeting a new hotness is simply too cliche.
Having "been there and done that" I felt you got the bit with the kids wrong in places. With five kids having a large age range and different parents they all wouldn't have fallen into line with that convoluted schedule. There would have been tears, anger and resentment mixed in and one or two of them would have rebelled, making things difficult for all involved. No amount of counseling would have fixed that. And why did lover boy walk away scott-free? The real problem with this story was that it was depressing.
...which is really the best thing, and in regard to that, maybe realistic, and would have shown the kids the true meaning of love. For that part of the storyline I applaud your plotting.
But he was just too damned nice about the whole thing. Way too fucking damned nice.
With his level of passion, it's little wonder that she was only really drawn to him as father material. That doesn't excuse the fact that she was a shallow, deceitful, two-faced harpy, but being that she was actually just a selfish bitch meant that she was going to go looking for adventure at the first opportunity, because he's such a milquetoast.
He may have dressed up as the Mandalorean, but somehow, I think the story would be different if the 'real' Mandalorean was in that suit. Lol.
Also, the asshole John really, really needs an attitude adjustment. You don't do that to another human being. You don't do what he did, knowing you are destroying the innocence of kids (yeah, I know it happens all too much in the real world), and if you're any kind of man at all, you don't do that to someone who believes in you as a friend.
But he got to get out, free and clear. Actually, he was allowed to dissipate like vapour. He needs his come to Jesus moment.
...for her deceit and the disrespect, but the ending was well done.
"Burning the bitch" would have meant punishing and estranging the birth-mother of 3 of their kids. Even if these kids are not amused by their mother's behaviour, they would be hurt in the long run. So: congratulations on your first foray into LW - and hoping for more! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
The 'friend' got 'no contact'. He basically meant so little, that literally no one talks to him anymore. The perfect response for a slimeball. Maybe he deserves punishment, but those he's wronged deserve to move on, and leave him to squirm around by himself.
The "Ice Queen" might have been partially right about things. But what was true is she never loved him, she may have cared a tiny bit for the man. And she regrets the lost future they could have had. Once her hormones and immaturity passed, she wanted good ol' reliable. But she deserved to be 'put on ice' by him. She probably is wise enough to feel why her toxic and stupid decisions were toxic and stupid. But realistically, that ship has sailed. Because unlike her, he did love her. So she doesn't get another shot.
And this poor dude is just trying to do what's right for himself and his family. Without the pre-nup AND the wife giving up....he'd probably have a very horrible time in family courts.
From page one re: his new house ... “ He thought that would eventually give each of the girls there own room...”
First, it is spelled THEIR (not ‘there’,) but it shouldn’t be! It should be HER. ‘Each’ is short for ‘each ONE’ and takes a singular pronoun. Since both (eventually all) of Hubby’s biological children are females, that pronoun would be ‘her!’
Had his kids, at the time, been a boy and a girl, the pronoun should be compound (his or her OR her and his) based on birth order!
My take is that Hubby’s correction of Daniel’s expletive was a VERY effective device by Mabsls It is what a parent who seriously values his or her (see) child’s development would do. Daniel was impressed by his Dad putting a higher priority on his son’s language than his own distress!
5*
I checked our your other stories. The ones I have read made me feel good. Hope you keep on writing!
Ahhh the LW template of the emotionally stable and strong husband, who has little anger at his wife and even proves he's superman by helping her out.No fucked over man is going to be THAT altruistic.
Way too common a character there.
On the plus side, she wasn't fucking half the town, crying she didnt want a divorce while still fucking half the town. So there's that.
A bit too long for what it was as well.
No drama or explanation.
There was no drama or any real uniqueness in the story, and everything looked mechanical, including typical cut-and-paste stories of how the husband started to cry and the need for trust.
What could have made the story better would have been why a mother of 3 (or 5) kids would start fucking another guy. John might have been better in bed, but the wife could not have known that until she went to bed with hi. So, why did she do that, particularly as a mother with multiple children. In fact, with a fulltime job and 5 kids, how does one find the time to cheat.
So, a relatively mild good story, but only 3* because not enough drama and lack of insight.
Good job,
on a first LW story.
Congratulations!
The story had a good plot
and some fine writing.
A few flaws
but they were minor.
Sbrooks mentioned most of them.
Though I don't agree with his first point.
You see, most of us have friends and family
who can help us.
So why shouldn't we know a guy,
or a guy who knows a guy?
I had a bit of a problem
following who was talking,
so that can be improved.
As can explanations.
Avoid telling the reader
the hero's thoughts
and then having him
put them in words.
Repetitions are like scratches
in a record.
All in all minor flaws.
Not enough to stop me
from giving this fine story
my top ratings.
Chris was a good guy who was able to succeed with a little help from granny.
But he was also distant and disconnected from his wife. She's madly in love and lust fucking another man, and he has no clue? He never noticed any change in her attitude, her behavior, her moods? He didn't pickup on the vibes when John was around his wife? You can write whatever you want, but it improves the story if the characters make sense. Like the wife didn't remember the prenup when she decided to become John's slut?
I did enjoy the reaction of the children, but I suspect that doesn't make sense either. Fortunately I have no idea how my children would react to a divorce.
Thanks for the effort.
consequences and results are a cost for selfishness and lust by thinking of your self. TK U MLJ LV NV
This story is pedestrian. It is easily readable but only moderately compelling. There is not a discernable reason for the cheating. There is not a specified basis for the wife's grandmother to remind the husband of the prenup. The best friend escapes without a corn cob or a five iron shoved up his ass. Lastly, with whom did the ex wife gain the reputation of an 'Ice Queen?'
Still, mabsls should keep writing. Good hunting.
That's one full house. Dumb from Steph, even dumber from John. If you don't want the excess baggage, don't sign up for it.
More realistic story of divorce than most posted on LW.
No millionaire, no street living pauper.
I really like the details about, and interaction with, the children. Especially the older two which he had adopted.
Gave you 5*s. You earned it.
Also like protagonist action on his friend John. He just dropped John out of his life. That makes more sense to me. No accident, no back-alley assault, etc.
The wife Steph and her resentment of losing out on fun because she had children was a very good note in the story
Thank you mabsls .. Please write again soon, I'm
AMerryman
Good story, well written, but dispassionate. I didn't feel any emotion, lust, or other feelings. Robotic, almost zombie like.
I was 65. We had 3 girls adopted from China age from 11 to 15. Due to effects of other illness, my wife had cut way back on our sex life. After she passed I met a 43 year old lusty mom of 3. Our lives intertwined and my sex life went back to when i was 20. At the moment I am in bed waiting for my wife to finish her bath and making herself ready for me. We are looking forward to a great afternoon while kids are still at school. Sometimes jumping right in works.
Wrting was good.
Story wasnt all that great.
Nothing about consequences for his friend? Once known no man would let him around his girl/wife again. Not a guy that stabs his friend in the back and has the morals that allows chasing a married woman, with kids no less. Destroying a family.
Nice. all about the the endings. you were flirting with a 5* until the dueling therapists lol and Chris helping her out financially get a new house. It got too mechanical, meaning here is a guy who had his first wife killed traumatically, second wife cheated on him graphically with his best friend. No way do you just recover from that. There would be deep anger issues if you really making this realistic. but still a good story. ;0)
really awesome story, great writing and nice touch involving the kids.
the cheating wife has her comeuppance without the bitter bite of a btb story was quite satisfying.
Thought Grandma Catherine could've chewed Steph out for cheating on a goodman and a bit more remorse from Steph.
Would've really liked to see a feel good romance story with Emily at the end. Give her a bit more character. See a standoff between Emily and Steph. An event that showed Emily's respect, love and loyalty for Chris. The kids blending in together and accepting Emily as a stepmother.
A nice, kind of sad story. As some have said, not a heck of a lot of passion, sort of just moving the household pieces around. I’m childless, but I’m guessing that that big of a brood is a full time job with little room left for romance. I was curious about the wife’s lack of affection toward her adopted kids- that should have induced some fire in the conversation but we never learned more. I’m not a fan of middle-aged breakups. You virtually never recover from them and just limp through life. At least Chris got a second chance... err, a third chance. Steph just needed to hang up her spurs and retire from the game.
A good well written story, lm a big fan of the realistic approach. personally l think you spent too much time on the prologue considering the length of the tale. The lack of emotion portrayed by the characters makes your tale more of a process rather than a life changing event.
Looking forward to your next posting.
The friend is a douchbag. Not only is that just about the worst thing you could do to your friend , it’s who when he got her and the kids he was done. He just liked fucking her and just forced her out when the arrangement didn’t work for him anymore with no regard for his friend, the wife he was fucking or the family he destroyed. That person always needs his balls kicked in
Then it turns to shit. As someone else mentioned, losing a 1st wife tragically then being betrayed by the 2nd would have probably produced a lot of resentment that would have prevented the reaction you forced him into. Force the kids to love and be accepting of mom when she really didn't give a shit about them was not reasonable. Giving that cheating skank money for house? Unless it was at predatory rates, I don't think so. I don't even think he should have been friendly to that whore. And at some point in time his old buddy would have had some sort of crippling accident.
But you warned no BTB no RAAC
A really good read! Enjoyed it! It would be nice to have a follow-up where his ex.friend John gets his!!!!
Thanks to the author for sharing the story. Mmmm...yeah I liked it. It does look realistic to some people as there are people who are passive and can accept shock with calm but I do find people go ballistic in some cases. The author was sensitive enough to get as realistic as possible, though one thing I didn't like is that Chris did not learn enough lesson not to have relationship with someone with kids. Either he likes single moms or like kids with a single mom but if I were him -- I would be wary of the same thing happening with Steph.
What more did he need?
A sense of pride. His friend betrayed him, then walked away free as a bird.
You were right that it was neither btb nor raac.
Be careful that people say things that they know, unconfirmed jumps of logic make it unrealistic. One glaring example was when he told her he knew about her cheating and she responded:
"As for how I found out, I was there."
"Oh, my God. You were right next to us.
She didn't know that and at best would ask where he was.
Dear Author, you have written a reality based love story that is very heartwarming. I really enjoyed the story and your fluent gifts. Thank you, jntiques/john
I enjoyed the story, although I would rather have seen Steph and especially John totally destroyed. This is probably more real than most LW stories I've read and I'll look for more from you.
It’s a good story, but I’m not buying into Chris having no animosity. There had to at least be some bitterness, some anger. Chris got over the betrayal in hours? I don’t buy it. Helping her buy a house? It’s too much, it makes Chris almost a doormat.
This wife was using this guy and paid the price...she found out the hard way...that some people don't like or don't want kids...she was right...she was a packaged deal... I love the fact that this guy stuck to his feelings and divorce this bitch....and that the kids knew who the better parent was....you have to love this guy.........
Why be so tucking nice to the cheating bitch?
You authors have a nasty habit of doing this. Reality is a lot tougher and far more bitter.
In this case he got the kids and she would’ve lost them. You would never let those kids be exposed to her boyfriend/s.
You would guard them like gold.
Fuck her!!!
Miserable bitch.
Great story. 5 stars! don't know how he could remain so calm during it all! I went totally nuclear and Burn the Bitch when I spit with my X cheating slut wife. Embarrassed the slut so bad she left the country. Yes I ended up getting 100% except her debts!
a little RAAC anyway.
between being mean and too stupid and conciliatory, there is even a happy medium.
Chris was too nice to Steph, after what she did to him he should have BTB taken all of the kids left her sitting on the curb where she deserved to be. If her kids wanted to see her then they had that right. But as I read the story her character was a cold and calculating cheating slut, she married for own selfish reasons. She didn't deserve anything in the end.
Another thing are character inconsistencies in the story. The woman is claiming in meeting with lover that she never loved her husband and then refers to that as if she was just encouraging her lover. That is rather low thing to do. She also attempts to deny adultery ("show me the proof") after being outed. That is another lowly thing to do. And then you (the author) change her character with:
"Chris, no, I can't ask you to do that. I made my bed, and I've got to be a big girl and accept what I've done."
after the ex-husband offers help.
These are small tidbits and many authors in LW have rather strange abrupt changes in character development but if you really want to be a good writer this is something you should avoid. You also failed to motivate (develop) character of "John". I know he is just a tool in the story but for a good writer he needs to be explained since you positioned him not just as lover but also as a man that is considering serious relations with women he thinks he is in love with. That makes him a character worth developing beyond beer drinking.
Not a bad story, it tackles a serious problem of people bringing kids from multiple families into dysfunctional relation. That deserves serious writing.
But you did not do research needed. Pre-nup cannot determine custody of children, that can be only determined by the court. Children are not material things. Obviously pre-nup can be challenged just based on that though I doubt any lawyer would allow such a pre-nup. Second, I am quite sure that recording in motel/hotel rooms obtained without consent would not be admissible in courts though I think adultery can be proved here with other means which this guy did not do. This of course, depends on pre-nup.
You need to be more careful about legal details when writing. That is obviously a serious weakness of all LW writers.
Liked the handling of the confrontation. Going against the stereotype of the blubbering stupid caught wife was a positive for the story.
This was horrible and entirely ridiculous. She all of a sudden didn't love him? You need to prove that not just write it.
Rolls eyes
The female writer mindset…,no doubt these females can never do anything correct kya nd need constant male guidance! Even getting them to drive is difficult!! Islam has got that down pat! Females are only for breeding…leave them rest to men!
That's what you do after losing a spouse whether through divorce or death. Resolve all of THAT, THEN start a new relationship. And date that person for a long time to make certain. Dated my second wife 4 years before she moved in and then it was another year til we married. Part of that was because her youngest was... difficult... and we waited for him to graduate HS. Even when he came home from college he could still be a self centered prick. And we won't even talk about the sh!t that my ex stirred up.
lol. YO GUYS, HOW MANY OF US KNOW A SWAMP DONKEY CON ARTIST LIKE THE DIRTY TWAT IN THIS STORY???? come on, raise your hand
I enjoyed the story. It had a different take on dealing with the kids. Her 2 kids were probably old enough to decide who they wanted to live with, the two next oldest were his, and the littlest one would be the one with shared custody. Now the judge would have to be the one who decided custody, since her siblings would be living with him. The judge might not want to break up the home for 1 child out of 5. I guess it depends on which state they're living in. Like the grandmother said, she had the pre-nup written to protect either one, since at the time she didn't want her grand daughter to be hurt/homeless.
4. Mostly pretty good, enjoyed the Mandalorian costume in the story (and more then a little jealous). I think the story could have benefited from being longer. Dealing with the initial blended family and the hurt from the husband's wife dying and the wife's husband skipping town, the pain on the kids and then it all falling apart, showing why it hurt Chris and the kids so bad and would eventually hurt Steph bad too was wonderful but I think there could have been more to it, showing the aftermath in more detail. John was a dangling thread that seemed almost forgotten which was odd after the MC said he was almost more hurt by his best friend's betrayal then his wife's. Even with no revenge it might have been interesting to see some closure, hear why he was so willing to betray his friend.
His reaction to Steph wasn't realistic. He was FAR too nice considering that she was basically using him. You didn't need to go nuclear BTB on her, but kids or not there's no way a reasonable guy would have been that civil to her. The conniving bitch deserved a lot more venom than she got.
Doesn't this guy ever get angry? My God, it's almost as if you neutered him. Also, the dialogue is mechanical. Listen to how people actually speak and then revise.
So you wrote:
"Ultimately, the counseling helped them to see that the idea of joint custody was in the best interest of all the children. No matter what, the five kids would be go together at whichever house they stayed in. For the time being, that meant that they were staying nearly all of the time at Chris' house."
Nope!!! I call bullshit!!! Joint custody is forcing an uncomfortable situation onto the children. Later in the story you had Steph admit that "she made her bed" That's a little too little, and a little too late for her to finally grow up. Part of the growing process is learning from making bad decisions. Setting a GOOD EXAMPLE is far more important than learning from mistakes. Therefore Chris should not have given Steph joint custody because she has DEMONSTRATED on multiple occasions that she makes bad decisions.
It was also a negative for Chris to help Steph get her new residence. She doesn't deserve it because she didn't earn it. She betrayed it. I'm sure that you were wanting to paint Chris as this really gracious and understanding guy. But you actually kept him partially a cuckold by doing that.
Two huge problems with this story so minus two on the score. 3/5
It just kind of fizzled. No real low, no real high. Barely any emotion at all. You'd get more emotion out of a matchstick figure.
short version this was crap. the idea of these stories is to escape reality not read about it. we lived this shit, reading about it same crap. even then parts are unrealistic. he would of been pissed then sad then wanna make them hurt modes. this isnt writting, this is just putting a real situation on paper. no originality, no grab your attention making you want more in the story. just plop there it is... 1 star is being generous