Santa’s Trials and Tribulations

My friends, with the winter holidays approaching I wanted to adapt two old jokes I once heard into a single Holiday themed story. Humour can sometimes alienate, if I have stepped on anyone's toes, I apologize. I enjoy the challenge of a 750 word story. I hope you enjoy.

Santa had been doing the round the world tour in a single night gig for long, long time. He and his elven crew of workers built the toys, knit the socks, manufactured the electronic gizmos and baked the sweets that would be opened on Christmas morning to the delight of all.

Mrs. Claus was a full partner in the venture. Not only did she keep the house tidy, she also helped out in the toy factory and in the planning of new toys.

Santa had been described as jolly and spritely, regardless of his age, he was truly ageless. Because he was spritely Mrs. Claus had to keep him entertained.

Mrs. Claus was always happy and willing to see that Santa was well satisfied in all ways. The winters were long here and Mrs. Claus had a very healthy libido which peaked in December.

Now, Santa might have been well satisfied at home but on occasion he would spy a lovely lady and he couldn't help but sneak in a kiss or two. Hence the popular song about seeing Mommy kissing the big red guy. Sometimes Santa got carried away in the Christmas spirit and Mommy got a lot more out of Santa than she bargained for. Speaking of songs, that song about getting run over by reindeer? Well she was standing in the middle of the road!

This was the reason that Mrs. Santa laid down the law that this year Santa would be sporting a cuckold cage.

Santa balked at this but agreed that he would if she would also wear a chastity belt that he would have made for her.

"Santa, with you gone there is nobody here to fuck me, why bother?"

"I don't trust these damn elves as far as I can throw them, horny little things that they are. They reproduce like rabbits. If I give them a ten minute break they do it in the lunch room, it's disgusting!"

Mrs. Santa reluctantly agreed to the mutual wearing of anti-sex devices.

Santa knew everyone in the world of course, so he texted a world famous inventor. He wanted a stealth chastity belt built, it would have two razor sharp blades that would slice off anything that tried to enter.

Once it was installed Santa was off to do his yearly journey around the world. He arrived home and after even more milk and cookies, he summoned the elves.

"Already you guys, well done. That's another year done and dusted. Now, I have a request, I want to see each of you in my office, this won't take long."

The first elf nervously comes in.

"Drop your pants, it's inspection time." Sure enough the elf's penis had been cleanly amputated. "Unfaithful elf, you're fired!"

One after the other the elves were marched in and each of them had been dismembered in the same way.

There was one elf remaining, his name was Harry Keister. Santa looked at Harry sadly and invited him into his office.

"Inspection time, drop your drawers. To his surprise this elf was intact! Santa was so impressed!

"My dear elf, you alone have honour. All the rest have tried to deceive me and make me a cuckold. Ask for anything at all and I shall grant it to you. Just name your reward."

Harry Keister stood there, silent, speechless. He couldn't say a word.

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There is a second ending to this tale...

Santa got a regular chastity belt and he put it on Mrs. Claus. Mrs, Santa wanted him to leave the key to the belt with her, it was for safety reasons, but Santa just laughed.

"My dear that would defeat the purpose of the belt. I understand that an emergency could arise or if I get hurt you would be stuck so I will choose my most trustworthy elf to be the keeper of the key."

Santa's elves were not only mischievous but also horny little creatures and there were few that he would trust with such a prize as the key to Mrs. Santa's chastity belt. In the end the choice was clear. Harry Keister was an honourable elf, the only one he could trust. and he was given the key.

Santa left the house and was getting the reindeer all harnessed up for the big ride when he heard the putter pat of elven feet approaching.

It was Harry Keister and he looked troubled.

"What is it, Harry?"

"Santa. Santa, you have given me the wrong key!"

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