Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 23

"Hey Beautiful," Gavin's warm, soft voice made her melt.

"Hello Sir," she smiled as she leaned back into the couch. "I'm home."

"Ok," he said softly. "I'm at the store, getting groceries."

"I could have done that," she told him.

"You were busy," he told her. "Did you learn anything?"

"Yes Sir," she nodded as her hands began to shake. She was now scared. She hadn't been scared in a long time, but she was now.

"What did you learn?" he asked her.

"I have not committed to this lifestyle," she whispered. "I have said the words, but have not fulfilled them." There was a long silence that made her hold her breath as she waited for confirmation. "Is that what you wanted me to find out?"

"Yes," he said after agonizing seconds that seemed like hours to her.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "It never dawned on me!"

"I know," he said softly. "The question is, what are you prepared to do?"

"What am I prepared to do?" she smiled. She could hear the teasing in his voice, she knew, he knew she was scared, so he was bringing back a long ago conversation in the park. When she asked him the same question, only hers involved marriage.

"Yes," he laughed when she giggled.

"I have a question for you, before I decide," she said softly.

"Shoot," he said firmly, his Dom coming through the phone.

"What if I don't want to be a sub?" Alex asked softly, the fear of his answer causing her voice to shake. "Could we have a normal relationship? A vanilla one?"

There was another long silence as the tears ran down her face, she knew that the silence was a bad sign as was the deep sigh she had to endure.

"First off, you can never be vanilla!" He said firmly. "You, are so beautiful, so full of life and love, vanilla you could never be!" Her heart broke, his voice was so strong, so loving.

"In all honesty," he said softly now. His voice barely caring over the phone. "I don't know, it has been so long since I have had a vanilla relationship."

"I understand," Alex cried, she tried to keep her shaking hand over the mouthpiece as she bent at the waist as the pain of their apparent breakup riddled her body with the shakes. She was trying to keep her pain from him.

"For you?" Gavin said in her ear. "I'll try anything to keep you in my life!"

"What?" she let her tears fall now openly her voice cracking.

"I'll take you however I can get you," Gavin said to her. "Vanilla or otherwise, you bring something to my life I hadn't had in a long time!"

"What is that?" She was crying happy tears now, wiping her face repeatedly as they fell.

"A difference," he said with a soft voice. "You have made me realize, I can still make a difference, and you make me want to do just that!"

Alex cried, hard tears. Happy tears. Gavin said nothing, but he felt helpless as he stood in the middle of aisle nine at the grocery store listening to her cry. His own eyes watering, Alex wasn't the only one afraid. Gavin was in the middle of a crowded store fearing as well.

"I'll be home shortly," he said as a woman cast a wary glance at him as she made her way by him.

"No rush," Alex smiled through her tears. "I'm not going anywhere! I love you Gavin!" Again there was a long pause before he spoke.

"Don't worry, whatever our problems are, we will work them out. Together," he said softly causing her to burst into fresh tears. "See you soon."

With that he hung up the phone and Alex curled up into ball on the couch, the weight of all the pain, all of the fear, all of the regret was lifted off her soul and for the first time in weeks...she felt...happy!

Gavin stood at the door of his condo, his key in his hand. His hand shook slightly and he looked at it. Fear. Fear for his heart being broken now. He was about to break a promise he made to himself so many years ago. Not since Carla had he ever committed to something that would cause him the pain that he felt with Carla.

If he walked through this door, he would be breaking that one solemn promise to never let anyone close enough to hurt him again. He shook his head, he could turn get back on the elevator and go to Madelyn's and call and tell Alex he had a change of heart. He could only be a Dom. If she wouldn't submit fully, she should leave. Then again, he smiled at the door, maybe Alex already knew, she could already be gone. Gavin shook his head. Not Alex, not his Alexandria. She walked into this life fearlessly, she would not back away. He would follow her lead...trust.

Opening the door, he expected her to be on the couch, but she wasn't. He set the groceries on the table.

"Alex?" he called out. He received no response, so he checked his phone to see if she texted him and he didn't hear it. Nothing. "Alexandria!" He called out again. Still nothing.

He walked to the bedroom, maybe she was in the shower. He found the bedroom doors closed. He took the handles and twisted but didn't push them open. He forced a deep breath into his lung before pushing on the doors. What was he going to do if she wasn't here? What was he going to do if she decided that she couldn't be with him with the knowledge of his desire of being a Dom?

Opening the doors, his eyes fell upon her. She was naked in the submissive position. Her hands outstretched, in her open palms was the flogger.

Gavin smiled and came to her, he sat down on the bed but said nothing. She didn't move.

"I submit to you, Sir," she said with her head down. "I belong to you, for your pleasure, for your companionship...for your needs."

"I submit to you, fully, completely," Alex continued. "What would please you my Master?"

"First off," Gavin smiled as he stroked her soft hair. "What is with the flogger?"

"I have been very naughty," Alex explained. "I have disobeyed, I have argued, I have displeased you, I have disobeyed your desires. I await my consequences, and your guidance."

Gavin said nothing, he just looked upon her. She could feel his eyes on her but she didn't move. It took a lot of willpower not to look over at him. Gavin softly reached out and took the flogger from her.

"Assume the position," he said softly.

She immediately obeyed and took a stand at the foot of the bed next to him. She put her palms down on the mattress and spread her legs to give herself a firm base. In her mind she wondered just how many strikes he would give her. She tried to do the math in her head but she couldn't even think of how many times she argued, or how many times she went against his rules, or how many times she flat out disobeyed him!

She figured twenty per incident but that would put her in the hundreds! He got up and moved behind her, he then gently stroked her backside with his fingers causing her to fluster in her thinking. His gentle touch got her thinking other thoughts.

"Count them out," he said firmly.

"Yes Sir," she whispered.

She wanted to ask how many he would give her, she knew he wouldn't give them all tonight as her body wouldn't be able to handle the number. Her legs began to shake and his hand stopped moving on her backside when he felt her tremble.

"Are you afraid?" he asked her.

"No, Sir," she said in a whisper. "Angry at myself for disappointing you!"

"We begin," he warned her.

She heard the strike on his hand first, to measure the proper power he wanted. So controlled, it made her think of Kelly and the girls, on what a good Dom was, one with great self-control. Gavin had that, he was displaying it right now.

The strike caused her to flinch as she was thinking about something other than her impending punishment.

"One," she remembered. She felt his hand back on her backside. The flogger was placed on the bed. Perhaps he wanted to use his hand.

"Stand," he ordered her. She did so and waited. "Turn to me." She obeyed.

"You have pleased me a great deal tonight, your actions were perfect," he smiled. "I think no further punishment is necessary."

"Yes Sir," she smiled. "Whatever you wish."

"Some things to clarify," he said coming to her closely and putting his hand to her face. "One, do not ever call me Master. Some prefer it, I do not. Nor are you to address me in that fashion to anyone you talk to."

"Yes Sir," she smiled. She knew he wouldn't like it, but she wanted to go all the way.

"Two," he continued. "We need to communicate more clearly, both of us."

"Yes Sir," she smiled as she nodded.

"So let me communicate very clearly to you, so that there is no debate," he said putting his lips close to hers. "I love you."

Gavin took her breath away with his kiss, it was powerful, it was generous, it was loving. It was all that Gavin embodied. When he pulled his lips off and she let her eyes flutter open.

"Thank you, Sir," she gasped breathlessly.