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All Comments on 'Slave Girl Emily Ch. 01'

by Serafina1210

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  • 10 Comments
Ellienora35Ellienora35about 10 years ago
Good premise

It would be fun for Andrew to miss her and tell her that she could be his slave, but part of his being her master would be for him to order her to make some certain choices or tell him her wants. Could be great

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
Game vs. Lifestyle

Andrew wouldn't be able to adjust his thinking away from "game "; reuniting and a continuation would frustrate both in the long term.

Try not to fall into the cliche having Emily fall into the clutches of a truly evil master on the way to finding her ideal master.

Serafina1210Serafina1210about 10 years agoAuthor
A story needs trouble of some kind

But you're right, Anonymous, about avoiding the trap of a "truly evil master." How bout she falls in with a truly wimpy master who ends up trying to make her his Dom and begging her to smear him with poop?

Naw ...

FA_JFFA_JFabout 10 years ago
Depends on where you think the end will be, if you know.

Do you plan for Emily and Andrew to end together, or is that not a given? Will we see them both struggle through pairings that don't work? Will we only follow Emily and later learn what Andrew's path has been?

Serafina1210Serafina1210about 10 years agoAuthor
Don't know

Sorry, FA_JF. I'm not sure where I'm going, and I'm not ruling anything out. I'm just doing this because I like Emily and want to spend more time pretending to be her. Isn't that the way everyone writes?

I'm open to suggestions.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
Learning to be a Master

I usually don't offer advice but here goes: I think Andrew has to decide how much he loves her and wants to be what she needs. You already explained that they went to a club. Perhaps he goes back by himself and meets someone who can show him? Or he admits he wants to try and they go together? Do clubs offer internships? :D

Serafina1210Serafina1210about 10 years agoAuthor
Thanks, Anon

It's starting to sound as if people like Andrew. Maybe he'll be back, but our heroine will have to have some other adventures first.

And if you hear of any BDSM clubs with internships, would you let me know first? I'd quit my day job for that.

fanfarefanfarealmost 10 years ago
Understand what it is you are wishing for.

Sf, I think you are doing a terrific job of writing a fictional BDSM story. I like the skill you have developing your characters to be believable within the storyline.

As for the reality, many years ago and then again several years ago, it was my experience:

My wife and I decided to explore the local BDSM scene. Where we were living at the time. We came to realize that we were too vanilla for such play.

However, we got to meet some interesting people and they were happy to educate us about their proclivities.

About this time there was a scandal that was a sobering lesson in responsibility.

An inexperienced wanna-be-Dom severely abused an inexperienced wanna-be-sub.

Master Asswipe ignored all safety protocols and her safe word and caused some serious bodily harm. Then he booted her out. Ordering her to return once her injuries were sufficiently healed.

The poor girl was so traumatized, she tried to conceal her injuries and treated herself with OTC painkillers.

When she returned to work, her boss noticed that the girl was hurting and barely functioning. This woman was a militant feminist.

Boss Lady had the experience to recognize that the girl had been the victim of battery. She saw the marks left on the girls wrists, the idiot had used metal handcuffs.

The girl's boss forced her to go the Women's Medical Clinic and have her injuries documented and treated. Then reported Master Asswipe to the police.

The abusive creep was whipsawed. Legal action forced him to pay a substantial compensation to his victim and his professional life was destroyed.

Part of that was censure and being ostracized by the other Doms who did not appreciate being dragged into an official investigation by his stupidity.

Much later, several years after my wife's death. I again began exploring the BDSM in my area. What I found was such a turnoff that I now just stick to enjoying well-written fiction.

In this area, all the Doms I have met and observed abuse alcohol and drugs.

I never met one I thought of deserving the title of Master.

And all the subs & slaves are prostitutes. Enduring whatever is inflicted upon them to earn money to pay for their drug habits.

In all a real turn off. But then isn't that the difference between fiction and reality? Real Life we have very little control of the parameters of peoples actions.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
i like it

the story starts out very well. if the rest of the story is like the first part it will be a top notch story.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago
Love

I really love reading your stuff. So easy to read. Reading through the comments, it seems Andrew won't be returning or returning. I haven't read the other parts yet but I wanted to share that I love your style of writing. Especially dialogue.

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