Stranger Things on Heaven and Earth

Twi grabbed my hand, squeezing it. "Yeah. I mean, it took Verse weeks to get all this stuff down." She made a face. "When she wasn't being rude."

I grinned at Twi. Our fingers interlaced and my heart started to thud incredibly quickly. As I looked into her eyes, Twi flushed and looked aside. She carefully undid her fingers and stood up to head back to her own console. As she walked off, her hips swayed ever so slightly...but I tore my eyes from admiring her purple rump and wondering if she still had her cutie marks. I looked at Tali, gulping.

"Does, uh," I said. "How many Sparks, um..."

"Not enough," Tali said, softly. "Shepard, Wrex, my family, none of them are Sparks. We're not sure what makes someone a spark and what doesn't." She looked down at her palms. I leaned slowly back in my seat, feeling the metal squeak and creak.

"Is Flash Sentry a spark?" I asked, curiously.

"Who?" Tali asked.

But at that moment, Festina appeared. It wasn't with fanfare or a pop or a shower of sparkles or anything. Just one second, the command plinth was empty. The next, she was standing on it, her head bowed. She looked distraught for a few seconds. The urge to stand up and slide my arm around her shoulder was intense. Then she pulled on her 'I'm Festina Ramos, badass Explorer' face. I wouldn't call it a mask. Masks implied something fake. But there was nothing fake about the confident expression that settled on her. She looked up and sighed.

"Well, guys," she said. "I found an utterly inhospitable hellhole to keep us safe."

"Why is that going to keep us safe?" I asked.

"It'll keep the Harbinger off our backs until we figure out what to do next," Festina said, shrugging.

"Well, wait, wait!" I said, holding up my hand. "If we go in and translate, we'll be in the context of the universe, and safe. But won't the Harbinger just do the same?"

"No, cause...heh..." Festina shook her head and looked incredulous. "If what you told me -- that that ship is from the Old Republic of Star Wars -- is true, then it means most of that ship was built by aliens."

"And that matters?" I asked.

"Hooo yes," Festina said, then looked at the rest of the bridge crew. "Everyone, get ready for translation. Kid, all you need to do is focus on one thing: Being human."

I blinked at her. "Like, just, sit here, thinking 'I am human, I am human, I am human?' as hard as I can?" I asked.

"Easy as being a racist bigoted fuckface!" Festina said through gritted teeth, then closed her eyes. I looked at the rest of the crew. Everyone had ducked their heads forward. Even Tracer. And she was flying the bloody ship. I sighed, then closed my eyes. I clenched my fists and thought, again and again and again: I am human. I am human. I am human.

The Normandy dropped into the silvery halo that surrounded the recursion. The translation from the Strange to the recursion felt a bit like falling and being slowly dissolved. I felt my body morphing and twisting. That single thought pounded into my head again and again and again: I am human. I am human. Then I gasped and opened my eyes...and saw that the bridge had utterly changed. For one thing, it had gotten way bigger and way more crowded. I was seated on a baroquly decorated chair with wood finish on the arm rests. Wood finish was on the console. But rather than clear and crisp holographic displays, I was looking at grainy green feeds that flickered with barely legible symbols. But what drew my eyes was the skulls.

There were skulls everywhere. Decorative skulls worked into the shoulders of my chair, decorating the corners of the screen. Real actual literal human skulls, worked into the walls. Some had guttering candles set atop them, dripping wax over words etched in the bone: REPENT.

A man I didn't recognize walked past me and to the central part of the bridge. Festina was there. But...rather than being dressed in a simple tank top and leggings, she wore a huge navy blue jacket with golden epaulettes and trim, with a red sash across her chest. A large cap set atop her head, tilted at a jaunty angle, while a sword had been strapped to her hip. She slid her finger along the hilt and looked like she had just touched something dirty.

"Lord-Captain, we have attained high orbit over Scintilla Prime," the nameless crewman who had fucking materialized out of thin air said.

"Very good," Festina said, standing up. "Get us to the spaceport."

I tore my eyes from her and saw Twilight Sparkle was no longer purple, Tali was no longer a Quarian -- instead, she was almost unrecognizable, save that she was seated in the same position that she had been a moment before. For one thing, she was draped in red robes. For another, she had a pair of mechanical arms that whirred and clicked as they thrust out of her shoulder blades. Her face was hidden behind a metal grill -- like the front of a train. Steam hissed between the open ports, while tubes and wires streamed from under her scalp, leaving everything but a single eye covered by crude cybernetics. My eyes bugged.

Tali put her hands on the grill and whimpered. "Bosh'tet."

Meanwhile, Tracer had vanished into a collection of pilots, who were all working consoles, each one seemingly dedicated to a different thruster or thruster group. But I could see hints of her -- moving about among the others, dressed in a long blue jacket with a tricorn hat and what appeared to be a feathered avian on her shoulder. Before I could begin to scream at the unfair cruelty of the universe, Verse flung herself into the empty seat next to me. She was dressed in a skintight black outfit that hugged her every curve. A knife was already in her hands -- sleek and glittering and with a stylized skull worked into the hilt.

"I like this place," she said.

Tali glared at her with a whirr of augmetics.

"We're in the Imperium of Man," I whispered, the realization sinking home.

Verse chuckled. "Yup. A universe with an empire more tyrannic and vicious than mine. I'm impressed." She grinned. "Since Sion's ship was built by a corporation that employs aliens, it'll come through the translation barrier as an alien ship and..." she swung her arm at the broad, almost dizzyingly massive windows that dominated the front of the bridge (a huge difference from the tiny view the Normandy provided.) Her arm took in the dozens of glowing dots that had to be other ships, hanging above a vast planet with a huge glowing sprawl of urban growth visible through the thick, gray clouds that shrouded it.

"Boom."

I stood up and walked over to Twilight Sparkle, who looked as if she had a steel rod rammed in a very uncomfortable place. As I walked, I noticed that I was dressed in a crewman's uniform. Since this was Warhammer 40k, it was ornate and likely doubled as armor. I coughed softly.

"You okay, Twi?"

"I dunno, Malik," Twi whispered back. "I'm in a universe where the primary mode of interpersonal communication is shooting people."

I glanced back at Festina. She looked just as tense as Twi -- but she was better at hiding it.

"At least we won't be shooting at people," I whispered.

"Lord-Captain!" One of the nameless crew -- I figured that the translation had just...created them out of thin air, since 40k starships had crews in the tens of thousands, rather than the dozens that normally staffed the Normandy -- called out. "An Eldar fighter had just appeared on our auspex."

"Let the SDF handle it," Festina said, her voice drawling and lazy. "That's why we pay our tithes, huh?"

A few crew chuckled and, in the distance, I saw a small swarm of fighters launching from the spaceport that we were slowly approaching. And I do mean slowly. I sighed, then patted Twi's shoulders.

"At least we have time to think now," I said, smiling.

Zzt. Vrr.

I frowned, looking over my shoulder.

I swore I had just heard something.

Once we had started to dock, Festina called a meeting for her bridge officers. That ended up being me, Bobbie, Tracer, Verse, Twilight Sparkle, and Tali. And, unlike the old bridge, the meeting room was not cluttered with all of us in there. For one thing, it was the size of a royal ballroom, and had similar decorations -- though a lot more skullerific. The mahogany table had plenty of cushy chairs, and I sat next to Twilight, holding her hand under the table. In the range of 'okay with this place' to 'totally not okay with this place', it went Verse (who was as happy as a knife girl in a stab store), then Bobbie and Tracer (who were taking the recursion in stride, but weren't particularly happy), then finally Festina and Tali and Twilight, who all looked ready to run for the hills. Tali was, by far, the least happy.

Festina rubbed her temples. "Okay," she said. "Thus far, the only good news is that we are safe for now. Until the bad guys get a human-built ship that'll translate properly. But everything else is bad. We're in the wild outback of the Chaosphere, with a reality seed-"

I raised my hand.

Festina took off her cap. "You don't need to raise your hand, we're not in school."

I lowered my hand. "Sorry. What's a reality seed?"

Tali sighed, her voice sounding...electric as she crossed her arms over her chest, her mechanical arms -- her mechadendrites, I remembered -- crossing over her head in a huff as well. But she tried to stay focused. "The Chaosphere is, basically, a program," she said. "Reality Seeds are basically blank, writable chunks of code. Using one, you can create your own recursion."

I blinked. "Okay, uh, why don't we just give them it. Otto Skorzeny makes a weird Nazi utopia and goes inside and stops bothering us."

Bobbie shook her head. "We don't know how many people were working with Sion and Skorzeny. That black thing they shot at us was not any tech I recognize -- not Star Wars. Not the protomolecule. Nothing." She tapped her fingers on the desk. "And secondly, the Nazis made a Nazi utopia on Earth. That didn't exactly stop them from deciding to share their fun time with everyone else."

I paused, then pictured a Nazi utopia, in a world where they all had superhuman powers and magic and advanced technology. I imagined them opening a portal into my smutty home, or into Earth Prime and rolling out with mecha-tanks and laser eyes. And without a BJ Blazkowicz to be found.

"Okay, yeah, I see the problem now." I said. Then I frowned. "Wait..."

Vzz. Zzt.

Realization. Slammed. Into. My. Brian.

Festina sighed as she leaned back. "Listen," she said. "We're safe for the moment. So I'm going to translate to Earth Prime. I'm going to tell the Estate what's happening, and then translate back after they scramble reinforcements."

The rest of the group nodded. I nodded as well, trying to look as nonchalant as possible. As we stood and everyone started to break, to head off to handle their own shit, I walked up to Twilight Sparkle. I whispered to her. "Do you know where the bathrooms are on this ship?"

Twilight giggled, then jerked her head. "Come on."

We ended up walking for what felt like hours through the vast corridors of the Normandy. The walls were decorated with endless reliefs and murals of Imperial heroes doing Imperial and Warhammery things -- smashing, cutting, burning, and so on. Twilight and I both tried to not make eye-contact with the shades that filled the ship. It was hard to imagine that they were all less than regular people...and...really fucking creepy too. Had I started out just like them? And if I became a Spark, couldn't they become a Spark too?

But that thought scattered as Twi led me through a pair of golden doors, grinning as she did so. "I was right!"

I whistled as I looked around the room. "How did you know about this?"

"I checked the ship map," Twi said, cheerfully. "This is the captain's rooms."

It was more like the Captain's mansion. There was a central room full of bookshelves and comfortable lounge chairs and writing desks, with portraits and paintings of Festina looking all captain-ey on the walls. She looked serious and grim in each of them, glowering down at us like she knew what we were here for. There were two stairs at the back leading up to other chambers, and several doors along the far walls. A bit of exploration and I found the bathroom. There was a huge bath, some shower nozzles, loads of soaps and lotions and a mirror and everything. As I looked through the doorway, Twi walked up behind me.

"Ah, here it is," she said. "So, um-"

But I grabbed her arm and yanked her into the bathroom. Twi yelped as I closed the door and locked it. Her eyes widened and she flushed, hard. Then she whispered. "W-We can't do this. I know Flash Sentry isn't real, but he's still my boyf...fr..." She blinked slowly, watching as I walked to the wall, grabbed onto the nozzle of the shower, then turning on the water. I sprayed it at the wall. The water splashed against the wall and pattered onto the ground as I swung the nozzle around wildly. Water flew through the air and Twi yelped as she leaped to stand behind me so I couldn't splash her.

"What are you doing!?" Twi squealed.

I swung the nozzle more and more aggressively, grinning. "Checking for bugs."

The air filled with mist -- thick and cloying and muggy. My clothes clung to my skin, moisture dripping from the gold buttons. Twi's face looked as if it had been freshly oiled, glistening with water droplets. The mirror was completely clouded. Twi and I stood perfectly still. I looked at the mists, frowning as I did so. Nothing shifted in the clouds -- nothing seemed to disturb the air. And I didn't hear that faint, almost hyper-sonic sound I had been hearing all afternoon.

"Do you know what Shadows are?" I whispered, turning to face Twilight.

"You mean shades?" She asked.

I realized just how close we were standing. I knew I should step back, give her some space. But some instinct kept me close. I whispered, my hands sliding to her hips as I breathed out the words: "They're bad guys from the TV show Babylon 5. They can turn invisible -- but even if they're invisible, they can't avoid disturbing mist. I've been hearing the sounds that they make ever since Sion showed up -- it just...didn't click until now."

Twi nodded slowly. Her nose almost bumped mine. "What do we do?"

"I bet it'll be following Festina. She's the...she's our John Sheridan -- the character who organizes and directs us. If the Shadows want to disrupt us, they'll get at us through her." I licked my lips. "Which is why I didn't bring up at the meeting that...I...don't think it's a Reality Seed."

"Why not?" Twi's eyes widened.

"Sion didn't call it a Reality Seed. He asked us if we had seen the trigger." I grinned. "A trigger for what?"

Twi's eyes widened. "I have no idea. But...I think I know where to find out. Once we get out of here..." Her hands slid my shoulders. "We can...can..." She trailed off. "Celestia, Malik, I'm scared."

I leaned my forehead against hers. "I am too, Twilight."

The kiss that followed was a slow blooming thing. Our lips touched in the humid mists of the fogged up bathroom, and for just a few moments, we touched lips. Then, tentatively, Twi's tongue slipped gently out, pressing against mine. I opened my mouth and my tongue met hers and they started to play together. I let my instincts guide me as my hands squeezed her hips, then slipped back to cup and squeeze her ass. Twi's moan was hot and liquid gold. I drew my mouth back, dragging my teeth gently along her lower lip. She panted softly, her voice husky. "Oh..."

"Yeah," I whispered.

"W-We shouldn't..." she squirmed, her hands sliding along my chest. His fingers caressed my chest. "I have a boyfriend."

But then, as if to give the lie to her words, she leaned forward and kissed me again. This time, there was no slow blooming. It was just a lightning storm in a kiss, her tongue meeting mine as my hands slipped under the layers of clothes that she wore to find her breasts. I cupped and squeezed her breasts and needed to feel more of her. But if I thought touching her was like a drug to me...I had nothing on the effect of my fingers on her. Squeezing her drew forth another eager moan from her, then a gasp, then a whimpered: "Oh Celestia!"

Twilight's hips bucked and she shuddered and...

And...

And I just realized that she had orgasmed.

My hands continued to move and push and soon, Twilight's clothes had thumped to the ground. Twi panted softly as I looked at her. Her body glistened with the moisture of the air. Her nipples were hard, rosy points at the end of her pale breasts. Her belly was flat -- though she wasn't muscular -- and she had just enough curves to her hips to be interesting. But what was more, her hips both had large, intricately detailed cutie marks, even if we were in the wrong recursion for them. They looked like tattoos here. I slowly knelt down, caressing her smooth flanks as Twi trembled, her voice hot. "I'm...so wet..." She sounded wondering. Then I leaned forward and kissed the tiny tuft of black hair that settled right above her otherwise smooth, hairless pussy.

Then my tongue slowly drew a circle around her clit as I let my instincts guide me.

Once again, I seemed to know what I was doing, because Twi's fingers sunk into my hair, squeezing tightly as she arched her back and moaned with a wanton eagerness that set my heart thundering. My tongue slipped forward, then coiled up against her pussy. I pressed my nose against her pubic hair, my palm cupping her knee and lifting one leg, spreading her wide. My nose rubbed against her clit now as my tongue twisted and curved against her G-spot, setting off what seemed to be a string of orgasms, ripping through her body as her fingers tightened on my hair, nearly taut enough to rip my hair out.

Then her fingers opened as she sagged against the wall, going limp as her juices flowed into my mouth, my eyes closing as I focused on drinking her delicious, grape flavored juices. I moaned softly. I wondered if she'd always taste like grape...

Then I drew my mouth back, panting quietly. My lips felt as slick as the floor that my knees pressed against, and as I looked up at Twi, I saw that her face was utterly slack, her eyes half lidded as her knees quivered and the wall seemed to be doing more than half of the work on keeping her upright. But then the tension of her back and the slickness of the wall finished their tie and she skidded down to thump onto her butt, her eyes on the level with mine now.

"Flash...Sentry...never..." She gasped, between each word. "Did that."

My grin was big enough for multiple universes. Twi's hand slapped against the back of my head, clutching. She dragged me in for a kiss that was as hungry as her legs were slack. I pushed her gently away from the wall, so that she laid on the ornate tile floor. Her thighs spread with a wanton eagerness. I didn't know how, but my own uniform was off and my cock was hard as steel. I slapped it against her belly as I shifted above her, and Twi broke the kiss, gasping.

"Holy Luna, you're huge," she whispered, looking down.

I blinked. "Really?"

"I-I'm usually an equine and even I'm shocked!" Twi squeaked, then gasped. My hips, almost seeming to move of their accord, pressed the tip of my achingly hard member against her pert, desperately wet pussy. Her pussy opened for me as I started to slide into her, inch by glorious inch. She was so tight and wet and warm, it was incredible. My eyes closed and I ducked my head against her shoulder, biting her neck gently as I nuzzled her. Twi trembled underneath me as I hilted my cock inside of her. My balls gently slapped against her hips.