All Comments on 'Sybil of the Sands Ch. 01-02'
by peaches07
- 4 Comments
Great work, love this style of storytelling! I definitely want more.
You've done a pretty good job of building the back story but a missed a few opportunities to flesh out the characters. Where is the location of the stronghold Alvidus trained at? Was he part of the tribe? How did he end up with the King? Why does Tuluk and his brother Baram act so entitled? Who are they to the king? How can they so blatantly threaten Captain Laraunt? And what's the Captain's deal anyways? Having such pale skin in a desert seems to indicate that he's probably from a distant land. If seer's are so rare and important why hasn't he at least punished Baram for killing Anissa's mother? I can't wait to learn who Anissa's father is. She could really use a champion right about now! It's a pretty cool twist by having the seer's sexual pleasure intertwined with their clairvoyant abilities. I'm really looking forward to reading more.