All Comments on 'Taking Revenge Ch. 06'
by jcsweek
- 7 Comments
The word is lay not lied. Lay on his side, etc. You need to proofread or an editor desperately. The concept is good however.
I still like the basic storyline and the characterdescription at many parts. Some things not: this "personal toilet" thing or to flaunt it as diet is just too much for me. For an while, ok. I even known women which liked that "golden shower" thing. Not mine, but ok. Further - what is this guy planning to do to pay for an life for tree women with child? He eems to think the money & company his stepfather buildet up all this jears would belong to him. Maybe he inherit the part from his father - but still his own father had not made the profit like his stepfather. At the other side, i miss some things like why did Jake not lick Julia? He should thread her more like an woman he love, even maybe just sometimes. Also there was not much to read about spanking, using floggers or paddles. For an slave-training i would expect more - more interest of the dom what his slave/lover really like or respond to and how to conditioning the uneasy feelings to sexual exitement.