- Loving Wives
- The Cheater's Gate
- Comments
All Comments on 'The Cheater's Gate'
by Freewheel
- 88 Comments
Never read anything by you before, your intro left a lot to be desired and I'm guessing that is why you cop a lot of crap in the comments. I almost just hit the back key, but thought I'd give it a go. Sorry I did, weak writing, weak plot. Piss poor wife 'burning' the husband only AFTER he lost the use of his legs. Why not before if she knew what he was doing? But I'm sure you'll delete this since its not singing your praises. 1*
Within this genre, there's usually a twist in the tail of a tale (sorry), and you had me poised for it.
Disappointed, alas. A good tale nevertheless. good dialogue, believable sort of characters. The villain gets punished, the virtuous pair ride off into the sunset and a different time zone.
I kept waiting for announcement of either Deb or Sue lying about the (non-existant?) affair, to sooth Jim's angst over the loss of Sue and 'taking' Deb from Ted. But that didn't happen. Maybe just Too predictable.
One Thing, Names. Only four characters, and all had short monosyllabic names. Good Idea.
Two Thing, Product placement, sort of. Didn't spot it first time through For some reason, no idea why, but i think it's to do with googling, Lit authors name a product (real or mythical) or a mythical place name in each story. With that as a google search term, the particular tale can easily be found. .....added later .. (or maybe Van Horn is distinctive enough)
Thank you for another very good read.
Kilroy of Aus.
5.
Dont worry about the sour grapes in here. there will always be people who say diamonds are too hard.
Life is like traveling with your body out of the sun roof, you may get bugs stuck in your hair, face or teeth.
But you will also see a astonishing view of the world thats just yours.
i cant say all your stories are home runs, but atleast they feel like real human mind put an effort into, Not some Knuckle dragging cave dweller.
have gr8 journey's, & keep writing.
(the who & why of this comment does not matter)
A bereaved faithful loving husband finding out about his wife's betrayal after her death. How unusual. No happy ending possible. Fiction is great and reality sucks.
I don't understand your sympathetic treatment of Sue. Instead of telling Ted to shut up or look after himself she pulls his dick and then fucks him just to satisfy her curiosity. Then on her deathbed she confesses, thereby heaping misery upon misery for her husband and best friend for no good purpose whatever except perhaps to salve her own guilty conscience.
Characters were mired in cliches. The nice guy, the scoundrel, the saintly wife with secret shame confessed on deathbed. Wealth aquired via insurance settlement. That's one step up from lotto win , but still in neighborhood. Freewheel was trending up before , I enjoyed story where cheating and subsequently divorced wife atones by working on extended house remodel with ex.
No surprises found this time. Oh well tomorrow is another day.
I agree with : Sue was no saint at all: "Finally, one day after she had been giving him hand jobs for two weeks, while he was lying on the bed she lowered her pants and climbed on top and rode him until they both came..."! He was lying on the bed, waiting just for a hand job...she was the one that suddenly decided to lower her pants and fuck him...After so many years after her cheating, why did she had the need to confess? To to lighten her conscience and go in peace? Why the need to give unnecessary pain to her husband and her friend? However a good read...3*
You did yourself no favors with that introduction. Causing your readers to start a story pissed off seems counterproductive. Nothing about it excited me. It wasn't disgusting, though, so, three stars.
As others have sagely commented already, nothing new to the genre was added by your tale. It is a re-telling of previous tales with no hooks to hold the reader or to engage thought. Flash tales like this only work when there is something to grab on to.
3/5
I have to agree with HDK that this business of informing on your deathbed or even after you died that you were not a good girl is horrible especially if the poor guy did not do anything to deserve being humiliated(I could understand telling a priest under the seal of confession but in this case there is no indication that she believes that she thought that she was escaping hellfire and brimstone by putting it on her husband.) The story itself sounds like many others.
Although, this is pretty tame btb effort, the premise worked.
Thanks for the story but I could only give it 3 stars. It didn't have any emotion to draw the reader in. I know that may not be a helpful critique for you as an author but it is all I felt at the end.
Had good flow, just not a lot of emotion for what the premise was. I agree with the ones who said that the idea of confessing to someone, not even your spouse, that you were unfaithful to them as you are dying is kind of disrespectful to said spouse. In this case she asked for the forgiveness of the other woman but not her husband. She was in effect just slapping it in his face with no outlet for him to vent on. That is not a loving spouse it is a vindictive bitch. Evidently she didn't feel bad enough in the ensuing 5 years to come clean so what was her motive now? What this does is just point out that the husband was good enough for her when it came to support and as a safe haven but not one to be true to. I guess that 3 stars is about right for this effort. I thank you for sharing your story, the critique was not to down your writing, I did like that, just not particularly the subject.
I've never been a fan of the husband finding out the wife was cheating after her death stories. To me it takes away my favorite part of the stories. The confrontation with the wife. Still this was good.
It is very interesting the healthy spouse can divorce an ill handicapped spouse in the USA. In a lot of country the healthy spouse has to help the handicapped spouse until death. So I understand why this story is a Burn the Bastard story.
But the author has a plot hole.
Why did Deb divorce her husband only after the seriouse accident?
Was she afraid of him, because he was vindicative violant man?
The author should have explain why only Deb told Sue's confession after her husband's accident.
no sex? This is a SEX site -- in case you haven't figured that out -- not English class.
Have gotten very boring.
I think it is time to move on.
That was the beginning of the end for me. You had 40 comments. Now there's 29. You mean all of those just said "Cuck shit?" I read a few of them before you deleted them. Most of them just said it was a stupid ass introduction. I agree. Now you can delete this one, but some people will see it.
If it's one thing most people want in a story is to attract & keep their attention so they keep reading it. This one failed to do that for me; so, I can't even fairly rate it.
But, thanks for the attempt/offering maybe others will be drawn into it more than me.
It could have been much better had you added more drama. How about Deb just normally seducing Jim while Ted is in the nursing home. When Jim refuses Deb in honor of her marriage to Ted, Deb announces that she's divorcing Ted because he fucked around on her. Once the divorce is final and Deb and Jim are a couple, Ted calls Jim to bitch about Jim taking Deb away from him. Ted then brags to Jim that its OK because Ted had been fucking Jim's wife Sue all summer 5 years ago. Jim listens to Ted rant and when Ted finishes Jim says, thanks for the news Ted, but Sue confessed all to me before she died. Jim ends the call saying, "Ted, why do you think your brakes failed? Have a nice sexless crippled life!"
That's just one idea of course. So keep trying, but try to make it more emotional and dramatic. Good luck with future efforts.
And thanks for allowing anonymous comments. That demonstrates you have the grit and gumption to learn and improve, despite how uncomfortable or obnoxious some feedback is. If you think about it, the majority of the stories are weak or terrible, so why would the majority of comments be any better?
Thanks again.
I lost interest and struggled to finish the story. There was no depth to the characters or the story but the plot line had great potential.
Not an entirely bad story. Felt a bit formulaic and cliched that left me feeling like I had read this story before. Or at least one very similar to it. Three stars but only because I can't give you 2.5.
These people all seem rather selfish and cold to me, perhaps because we never get to know them. Jim has all the feelings I would expect, but somehow they don't seem real to me, I'm not sure why. He sort of falls into the relationship with Deb: oh, yes, she's here and I like her, so why not? Sue is cold: she has no compunction about hurting the husband she 'loves,' when she cheats or after, as long as he doesn't find out until she's dead so she doesn't have to deal with the result. I don't understand Deb: why does she stay with Ted for all those years while he's cheating? What is she all about, anyway? Ted's 'apology' to Jim is bullshit; he knows exactly why he did it: she was good looking and she was there. But how does he feel about it? How did he feel about it before the accident? I don't know enough about him to even dislike him as much as I know I should.
In sort, it's a situation with interesting possibilities, and with more character development, could have been a very good story.
Combine that with the fact that they all were really unlikable characters and you get this worthless story. UGH!
Jim was a faithful husband to the last day of his marriage. Deb used her inheritance to purchase their home and set Ted up in business. Despite his repeated unfaithfulness, Deb remained faithful to him. She was divorced from Ted before she had sex with Jim. I would have no trouble being friends with Jim and/or Deb. Ted's paralization was fate stepping in. A much deserved 5 stars.
To blame everything on Ted is naive bullshit. Did Ted hold a gun to Sue's head to convince her to start jacking him off or to start sucking his dick. The curiosity about the shape of his dick was entirely on Sue. Did she bother to use a condom? Ted was a player. At least when he thought he could give Deb an STD , he didn't have sex with her. That certainly wasn't the case with the supposed loving wife Sue. There was absolutely no thought about what she could be taking home to her husband.. When Deb told him that Sue had cheated , it was after Sue had died . I would have been upset with Deb for withholding that information from me . I had the right to confront Sue before she died. My inclination would have been to sell the house and move on. I'm not certain that I could have gotten past Debs withholding of the affair. Your story, my reaction to the events.
A short,bittersweet story with a happy ending.
Well worth a read.
....."She was the most cheerful, thoughtful and helpful person I have ever known" Are you insane or what? She was a slut. Her cheating wasnt a one time thing it was a longer lasting affair ! Would you tell us that a loving wife would do that?
He should have told Sue that she was a slut and that she wasn't forgiven. That is what she deserved for carrying on an affair with Ted for a month. She fucked him every day for a month so it wasn't twice but 30 times. Sue as a slut!
To begin, hand jobs are sex. Statement was made they only had sex a few times but two weeks of handjobs then sex everyday until school started is more than a few times.
I sincerely doubt the need for her to wash him there. Certainly his wife could have bathed him in the evening.
My guess is she liked going cowgirl on younger guy.
She claimed she was so glad school started back up. Who took care of him then?
He had one good arm to wash his own privates. Plus his wife was home at night.
I can see her making him something to eat and drink and keeping him company but the bathing is bullshit. Ted's wife knew about bathing, but did Sue's husband.
Sue is too gullible to be teacher and the story is preposterous on its face.
This story touched my heart. When my wife died, she left me alone and broke. As I'm getting rid of her stuff (after she had been dead three years) I realized that the 45 years we had been married had been a lie. If she loved me it had to have been the early part of our marriage. .Like Sue, she never denied me sex. But now I think it was just to cover up her affairs. Now I'm alone, living a broke and miserable life and still finding evidence that everything that came out of her mouth was a lie. And no. There wasn't a Deb in my life. or anybody for that matter. This lady I'm seeing now told me recently that she heard me crying in my sleep, I couldn't tell her that I'm living with a broken heart. 45 years of dedicating your life to a lie will do that to a person. I guess the only thing she liked about me was the great times we had in bed.
with the worst and best of intentions. TK U MLJ LV NV
Burning the bastard is good too. Sue really deserved the same, but at least she lived with it. We see a few of this type here, but not nearly enough. 5*,,, good story....ROBT
lied to him , backstabbed him for a good cause. To heal somebody you need to have sex with them this has been proven . In Literotica land.
You can crap on your partner and long term commitment to them if you are nursing someone back to health. Especially if they supported you doing it because they implicitly trusted you.
Good story, decent burn. But since he couldn't get sweet Sue, he could at least push Ted's wheelchair down the stairs.
And to his home. Where he got his gun. He was waiting for Jim and Sue and I think he blew huge holes in them and laughed as they bled to death. Never taunt a dying man. Pretty dumb story.
You'll have to excuse the anon below me, his mom called him upstairs to take his meds.
Except fidelity. Ted was pond scum. Enjoyed the story. *****
I do wish we understood why she gave into his advances, but the story was well told.
Not a real problem with this story...but, there were some big long paragraphs that could've been split into easier to read smaller ones...but that's about it...for any negative feedback I have...
This story is different, reads and feels different, for this category, for some reason...That is very refreshing, to my way of thinking!
All-in-all, this is a good original story plot and premise, that reads fast, one I liked and enjoyed reading! Good job!
While Sue paid the ultimate price, and Ted later wiped his own ambulatory and sex life out, in the bike wreck; still...Jim got his pound of flesh from Ted, for seducing his wife and cheating on him with her! Jim did so, after Teds limp-dick call, asking Jim's forgiveness...the pompous ass!
I thought Jim's very pointed reply, to Ted, that call, burnt Teds toast away, fairly well...Yet, still no laws were broken, no cheaters maimed or killed as retaliation...no one going to jail or prison...
Deb and Jim always attracted to each other before; finally, after Sue is dead and Deb shit-cans Ted legally, Jim and Deb get to take their mutual attraction for each other, many steps up the ladder, and finally cement a long term relationship together with each other!
Both seem happier, riding off into the sunset together, making more satisfying and better love to each other, than they each had with their former spouses...So, that is more Karma Ted has coming back heaping up on him, for him being the useless, wife stealing seducer, and the rabid cheater he was on his own wife, while he and Deb were married!
It's gotta stick in Ted's craw, really bad, just about gagging him, every time he sits there in his wheelchair, in his Depends adult diapers, getting all warm and fuzzy after he has pissed himself again...every time he thinks about Deb. I mean...since he knows he will never have sex with anyone again, plus, knowing Deb and Jim are off seeing the world together, having a fucking ball..doing so! (Heavy emphasis on fucking part, of that ball! :)
Nice touch author! Good story! Liked it! Don't stop writing more good and different kinds of stories like this, for us, please?
This story, is well worth the four stars I gave it! :) Thank you!
Idiotic plotting. A guy with Pyronie's disease (the significantly curved cock) hits the G-spot better? A straight cock hits it continuously, with more or less pressure depending on the position. Basic female anatomy. And yet another "wonderful" wife who can't control herself. Really, the wives in this author's stories don't have enough intelligence or impulse control to be allowed out without supervision...kind of like four year-olds.
first thing I would do is go to my wife grave and piss or shit on that tomb stone. I would make it an annual event so very year on the day of her death I would piss or shit on her grave. How dare she have any sex with that guy just because she is a caregiver, not all nurses or caregivers are whores or sluts. I would only be seriously angry that my wife last hearing was not me saying how much i hated her for cheating and hoped she burned in hell..
I agree with anonymous piss on her grave but no schedule
...but it is still a good story. I do like a happy ending and all things considered, this was just that. I wish Ted a long and miserable life.
"Sue was reluctant but mystified by his curved erection and wondered how it would fill inside her. Finally, one day after she had been giving him hand jobs for two weeks, while he was lying on the bed she lowered her pants and climbed on top and rode him until they both came.... This affair wasn't Sue's fault, it was Ted's."
Nope. Sue was curious and chose to fuck him, as clearly explained.
"Sue never denied you anything, including sex and was totally committed to you until she died."
No she wasn't. She was committed to her own selfish momentary physical pleasure. She chose to continue her betrayal for weeks. And then she chose to ease her own guilt by confessing, not to her husband, but to her friend whom she also betrayed. And then, on top of everything else, she conspired with the friend to drop the bomb on her husband after she was dead and gone, so that she wouldn't have to deal with his pain or his questions. Ultimate selfishness. He really should get the hell away from Deb, possible after fucking her a few times. She did choose to conspire with Sue to hurt him as much as possible.
Poor guy has no friends and no one who loves him.
Enjoy your Time in Hell .. I would Piss on Her Headstone ..I would stay away from her and My So Called Friend , Who is No Friend at all
When and how do you tell a friend that there most loved one is cheating on them. I did but I know I never would again three days later he drove his car into the cement pier of a bridge
Enjoyed your story. Also enjoyed your prologue especially about the trolls that infect this website. I am really tired of catching comments from these miserable trolls who only want to hang, draw and quarter wives who cheat but seek forgiveness and atone for their cheating. I like reconciliation stories, stories with a happy ending. There's enough misery in the world without authors adding to it in the world of fantasy. I just wish that more authors would monitor and delete the comments from these trolls.
Ted was an asshole but it still takes two eople to tango. Glad he got some payback for the live one and the dead one's memory
I hate sue MUCH more than the guy .
Nobody forced her to ch at like the whore she is ... Or was .
It is ok for "karma" story but ...
How does a caring wife accept to do handjobs? How does she think that it is curiosity to jump on a curved dick? This explanation is a bit silly. It is not one time mistake and nobody was drunk, so how can our illustrious author explain that? The explanation in the story ("caring" and "curiosity") sounds infantile to me.
Scroll back 4 reviews where the commenter insists we all should just forgive infidelity. If some fool is dumb enough to cut their hands off should we all be required to scratch their ass as an act of forgiveness? It's fine if you enjoy the humiliation associated with infidelity on the part of your significant other, just don't tell us we have to enjoy it or we'll be labeled "trolls". Idiot.
Literotica author doing the usual cheating slut is a wonderful person even if she fucked her friend behind her hubbys back and never told him so he could decide for him self. But she was very wonderful . And then not even ewhen she dies does she let him think he is not a cuckold she made him on behalf of a sleazy piece of garbage. She was to stupid to ever think she should not do that to a loved one because like he was a seducer.
She was wonderful though as they said because that is what wonderful people do to the ones they love.
You could have at least had the decency to allow him to take his anger out of the asshole when he couldn't on his whore wife, but you denied him even that, and gave him only a consolation prize of the other bitch who didn't tell him for years.
Author never explains why Deb waited five years to talk, particularly if she was interested in him. Seems like a huge hole in the story.
Also, Ted seems to be a bit overstated. How do you keep three dealerships running for ten years without being daily directly involved. Author generally seems to have no real life experiences.
I stopped reading this ridiculous garbage when the wife asked Jim to come over to her house and he said he will bring a bottle of merlot to cheer her up. He is in the hospital paralyzed for fuck sakes. What stupid unrealistic absurd writing. This crap doesn't even deserve a 1.
Could have been a really good story, but somehow it seemed emotionally flat. 3*
An OK story but that's about it. Emotionally for the topic, it wasn't all there. Also, Deb stated that Sue's cheating was only Ted's fault. I beg to differ. She not only chose to jerk him off, but to strip & ride him sexually. Nobody forced her. I might see the manual manipulation being out of courtesy, but full blown intercourse? Just no. I've also a problem with Deb, just after Ted's accident, asking Jim to bring over some wine for the talk. While she may've wanted the divorce, just hearing about her husband's injuries just seems too much. 2 stars Bob
Good writing and a good story. Both MC's acted in perfect moralistic norms. Her husband and his wife were both disgusting cheaters. He had a wife every night to "help" him. She knew this but fucked him anyway. No excuse except mutual lust on both their parts. So fuck both of them.
Always excuse.
He/she seducer.
Stupid
You could always leave when first step made by one of the cheating people
Great BTB. Both the direct burnage (short but sweet phone call), and the "best revenge is living well". Easy 5 stars. And BTBitch part was covered by Karma coming for her in the form of cancer.
- I agree that it is an excuse in the absolute form, but also in any cheating, there are degrees of shade - a lot of it based on intent. So yeah, in this case the wife was less at fault compared to the bastard. Now, the wife was more guilty in relation to main character (being she was married to him and SHE, not the bastard, promised him fidelity); but her fault to main character is less than his fault to his ex-wife. But yes, ultimately, che DID cheat, regardless of nuances and excuses.
It sucks he can't get revenge on his wife because the cheating slut is dead. I would make up a new headstone to read, " cheating whore" who killed our marriage six months before she went to hell.
Nicely done, and 4 stars.
The 'B'astard in this tale was well-burned, but it was self-immolation.
His asking for forgiveness opened himself up to the answer he got - karmic retribution for seducing his best friend's wife !
The fact that he would be in a wheelchair for life, with his care paid from the proceeds of the sale of the business he owned jointly with his wife, was his price for both cheating on his wife as well as betraying his best friend !
I didn't really see any issues with his wife divorcing him, nor his former friend telling him he would become a couple with the now-divorced wife.
As has been said many times before, Karma is a bitch... and she knows where you live !
Sue never denied him anything. Shorthand for sloppy seconds. A wonderful lady.
Just not to her husband.
Deb told Jim about his wife's adultery. Wasn't Sue's fault but Deb's husband Ted's. No? She could've said no & kept her legs & vagina closed... but she didn't. So she's as much as fault as he was. Don't know why he couldn't wash himself. He was injured, but not totally incapacitated. Never denied him anything? Did Sue clean up fully after having sex with Ted, or give her husband some sloppy seconds?
Ted's call to Jim took guts, but why wait until his divorce is about over? Can't be too sorry as he did willingly.... Jim's answer was point on. Loved EastCoaster1's line: Karma's a bitch... & she knows where you live.
Unfortunately, that entire affair, as short as it was, blemished the wonderful memories/ marriage that was Sue & Jim. 3 stars. Nice story but that's all. Bob
Why tell him his wife cheated? just tell him that her husband cheated and she was going to leave him and take a run at romance. no need to make the last "fresh" memory of his wife being adultery. There's no chance of closure.
About six years later, NoTalentHack wrote a story called "No Place to Go" about a man who has to deal with his late wife's cowardly post-mortem written confession, leaving the man without an outlet for his pain, anger and hate. Much, much more emotion on the part of the MC in that story. Freewheel's story, while enjoyable, lacks a similar emotional punch to make it a more gripping tale.
I would love to see the piss puddle on Sue’s grave, growing persistent. LOL
Captcha
Hopefully, they stopped in to say bye to the asshole and then stopped at the cemetary to piss on the slut's grave. No forgiveness for either miscreant, just enjoying life with a younger woman.
Sounds as though the bastard just experienced karma... a truly righteous karma.
Agree with 6King; there’s no emotion here. His feelings of frustration and confusion at not being able to confront his wife. Should have gone to SEE Ted and whispered all that stuff in his ear. “Think about sitting in this chair in your adult diaper with your useless dick as I fuck your wife every night. As she sucks my dick and swallows every drop. As I make her scream MY name. You worthless piece of shit.” When you die, which I hope is a long long time away, we will dump you in the nearest pig farm. So at least you’ll do some good in this life.”
From what I read, there was no BTB! Ted burned himself! The story could also have used a bit more emotion, but maybe the MC was still too emotionally numb from his wife dying, then finding out she cheated on him? And to be honest, I don't buy the idea that his wife was somehow manipulated or coerced into cheating. She could easily have said "no", unless she was truly stupid and naive.