All Comments on 'Transspiritualassimilation'
by NYSwede
- 7 Comments
In feedback, ones.lit9.com made a good point in their note to me... What happened to Abby and Chad's remains?
I left that out feeling at their advanced age, their passing would be attributed to "old age" and the family would celebrate their lives and grieve for the appropriate time. I felt it didn't add anything to go into that, I'm sorry if that left the reading wondering...
One Hell Of a good story. I loved the way he dealt with his first family, I thought it was absolutely brilliant writing.
The concept is very imaginative and there is a great story in here. But the execution feels more like an outline than an actual realized story. I don't really get a sense of any of the characters in it as "real people", if you know what I mean.
The main character for instance is just kinda drifting effortless and without a lot of emotion from a broken marriage through a new life where everything just works out for him with supernatural perfection and no apparent challenges. Since he is such a perfect person that can do no wrong, I guess his former wife and kids we totally at fault for his ruined marriage, right? That's why he didn't need to learn or evolve or anything. He is already a perfect man.
Please don't get me wrong. You write well and I hope you keep doing so. But you should grant your characters some flaws to work on and some challenges to grow from. It would make your stories much more compelling.
Thank you for your thoughts. I'm hoping to take your advice as my goal is to one day be a writer. I honestly don't think of this character as being perfect. I intentionally offer little about their looks; I want the reader to imagine what they want to see without my interference. Perhaps, because of that, their flaws are less visible too? In this story, the message (if we can call it that) is that even someone who appears to have their act together, is decent, kind, or considerate, can still have their life turned upside down by those closest to them and still land on their feet. Thank you again. NYS
A strange story, but a feel-good story that was a pleasure to read. I agree that it could have had a little more depth to the characters and their lives, but still it got the feelings across. Thanks