All Comments on 'Two Girl Workout Predicament Ch. 02'
by Aspire2Provide
- 16 Comments
... You have a "recommended you read Chapter 1 first" message followed by a seven paragraph summary/excerpt? And with chapter 1 two clicks away via your author hotlink and/or "Also In This Series" link on page two?
Please... don't... insu-
[sigh]
-- not-a-troll
... doing a spot of proof reading in an attempt(!) to try to reduce the number of errors in spelling, grammar and punctuation?
This was so poorly written that I was unable to complete reading it!!
If you are incapable of doing a proper job of proof reading then get someone to do it for you.
Oh, and get some advice from a good Editor!!
Love the story, very creative, don't worry about grammar and punctuation, bring on more of the concept and action! Cheers! And Chapter 3!
Writing bondage like this gets extra credit for difficulty. Too often, the stories can get lost in the bondage details, yet you did it perfectly! I won't ask you to continue this story (this is a good ending point), but I won't mind a bit if you do. If you decide not to, I would ask you to consider doing comparable stories in the future, because you do NC bondage better than most writers.
Sorry for the editing mistakes - I must have uploaded the wrong version. I will see if there is a way for me to edit the posted story.
Great story and don't let them tell you different. If someone is that hung up on grammar - they aren't paying attention to the story. Get a life.
First off, I'd like to say to Anon who says he couldn't read the story simply to minor grammatical errors: fuck you. Put on a coat, go outside and locate the nearest sex shop. Once you do, walk inside, find the biggest dildo you can find and literally fuck yourself up the ass with it. If you intent to point out to someone, in such a discriminating manner, that their grammar is ''bad'', I suggest you revise your own.
With that said.... :)
Amazing story! Loved it. I had to think for a moment how your contraption was set up (it's four in the morning so that may explain why I was lacking in imagination) but the fact it was a female kidnapper and that the whole thing was set on timer like a Jigsaw torture device was thrilling, exciting, GOD DAMN NO WORDS CAN EXPRESS HOW AWESOME THIS IS! Please write more!
If I see you one day, I'll buy you two beers. But you need to drink them down in under 60 seconds or Grammar Nazi here will be telling you how to drink them.
You cannot just end it like that! There are so many questions that need answers-like 'who is the female controller?' And why did she kidnap the girls in the first place? And what is to become of the two 'workout knockouts?' And are they going to be blackmailed in some manner, or what? Come on, Aspire2Provide! Please provide us with these, and other answers!
YOMEYO
Just read through all your stories, loved your writing style and the detail you weave into your work :)
A truly exceptional story it made my mind work attempting to feel what they did