- Loving Wives
- Unneeded Ch. 03
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Click hereSeveral of the comments on Chapter 2 suggested that the sudden change in Lisa's technique should rouse Lars' suspicions. Other comments expressed curiosity about Lars' rationales. This chapter provides these things.
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Karen Ross opened her office door. "Mr. Anderson, I'm ready for our session now. Would you please come in?"
"Actually, though I told your receptionist I wanted a session with you, I actually just want to ask a few questions."
"About what subject?"
"About my wife. I know she saw you lately."
"Normally, client confidences are something I would not reveal, even to the extent of verifying they are a client, even to a spouse. However, in your case I have your Lisa's previously given permission to disclose anything that in my personal opinion would be helpful in strengthening your marriage to her. So please come in and have a seat. My expectation is that over the course of our session, you will have the answers you seek."
Lars Anderson was a touch uncomfortable that the counselor still called this a session. He didn't really want therapy. But the promise of answers induced him to enter and be seated. "You can call me Karen, or Mrs. Ross, whichever you wish. As I said, I have her permission to disclose her confidences. Unless you decide to give me similar permission, however, I will keep your confidences from her. May I ask whether she disclosed her visit to you, or whether you found out another way?"
"I found your invoice for services rendered in the credit card summary."
"That is interesting, since Lisa mentioned in passing that she paid routine bills. Were you looking for something specific?"
"Frankly, I was looking for hotel bills."
"Why did you do that?"
"I think she might be cheating on me."
"What brings you to that hypothesis?"
"Her sexual technique lately got a lot better. I'm thinking she's learned something from another lover and she's feeling guilty, so I'm getting some leftovers."
Lars noticed an odd expression cross Karen's features just for an instant. Then she said, "I prefer to mainly proceed with Socratic questions, but I feel I should interject with a comment here. I am certain your wife is not cheating on you, and never has. Further, I know that you are not cheating on her, at least at present. But for now, let's defer the matter of how I know these things to be true."
Lars' face was a strange mix of relief and skepticism. Karen continued, "Let's start with why she came to see me. What is the most common reason a wife would seek marriage counseling?"
"Because she's dissatisfied with her husband and she wants the counselor to backstop her demand for changes."
"A bit roughly put, but yes, that does explain quite a few scenarios. But it's entirely incorrect for Lisa − almost 180 degrees off, in fact. So now that you know she's not dissatisfied with what you're giving to the marriage, what do you think she is worried about?"
A bit of Lars' challenging demeanor melted away. "How little I'm taking." There was a long pause. "She figured it out?"
"Just lately. Is Lisa's impression correct that your family's reaction to the promotion you were offered caused a change in you?"
Lars let out a long breath. "Yes. For a few days after the big argument it was a sort of self-loathing: 'Why didn't you stand up for your rights like a man.' But the more I brooded on it, I realized − I had no rights to stand up for! Feminists assert that marriage is a patriarchal institution designed to oppress women. That's crap. There's nothing about my marriage about which I can say, 'I'm entitled to this because I'm a husband,' and expect the world to agree. Lisa has recourses. I don't."
"That's an interesting choice of words: 'recourses.' I've counseled many couples, and I haven't heard a client say that before. Could you elaborate?"
Lars twisted his shoulders as if trying stretch out a massive tension. "Suppose I cheated on Lisa. She could ask a court for a divorce, banish me from my home, isolate me from my kids, and get paid maintenance for years; that's her recourse. Suppose Lisa cheats on me. What would a court do to give me a recourse? Banish me from my home, isolate me from my kids, and force me to pay maintenance for years, that's what."
"Lamentably true. That's why I hate it whenever my couples work doesn't gel. Where did this train of thought take you?"
"This may sound crazy, but I thought that my only defense against being jerked around was to have less to lose, emotionally, than Lisa. I had always been the partner more invested in the relationship. The disadvantage of that was suddenly apparent. I started thinking of ways to intensify her emotional attachment, and reduce mine. I trained myself to be an even better husband, to change her BATNA, and mine."
Dr. Ross interjected, "I'm afraid I don't know that term."
"Oh. BATNA is an acronym for Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement. It comes from negotiation theory. I have to think about that at work all the time as I hammer out terms with vendors and customers. I try to improve my BATNA: the alternative I'll have to fall back on if negotiations fail completely. If my best alternative is pretty good, I'm less likely to have to swallow a raw deal.
"Trained the way I am, I saw the question of moving to Dallas as a negotiation. Lisa pushed me to the wall, and I had to cave because my BATNA was poor. I had to give up the job I've worked for my whole career because her implied threat to withhold her love was something I wasn't ready to face."
"Lisa reported your children were a potent force in this 'negotiation.' How do you feel about them now?"
Lars scrunched his face a bit before answering. "Our children are good kids. Lisa and I have raised them right. They get good grades − teacher's favorites all, actually − and are never in trouble. But they're still kids, you know, and kids are slow to give up the idea their parents might have their own needs. Did you ever see the movie, "Going My Way?"
"With Bing Crosby, right?" Karen ventured.
"Yeah. Crosby's character says something like, 'You know, when I was 18, I thought my father was pretty dumb. After a while, when I got to be 21, I was amazed to find out how much he'd learned in three years.' So I put most of the blame on Lisa. If she'd been on my side, together we'd have gotten the kids to accept the move."
"So you began to employ ruses to avoid receiving your wife's loving gestures?"
"Uh-huh. I know how sad that sounds, and it often was sad, but it was empowering, too. Look at me." Lars slapped his abdomen. "This was a pot belly, half a year ago. I've made new friends who I wouldn't lose if Lisa forced them to take sides. I've even developed new ways to relate to the kids that aren't channeled so much through Lisa."
"As a part of that strategy, you consciously allowed your physical intimacy with Lisa diminish?"
"Well, that's only partly true. We hugged and kissed as often − maybe more. We just didn't have sex as often. And I expect Lisa looked on that as a positive, at least unconsciously. Her libido has always been less than mine." Lars made a moue. "At a certain point I developed a morbid curiosity: how low would we go before she wasn't getting enough."
"But you never cheated on her to make up the difference?"
"No!" Lars paused to formulate his thoughts before speaking again. "First, I love Lisa. I was hurt by learning I was low man on the family totem pole, but you don't just throw away twenty good years. Second, I'm not the sort that breaks promises. And third, it would wreck my strategy. I want her to be heavily invested in me. For me to be caught cheating would make her less engaged in a hurry."
There was another pause. Then Lars' eyes narrowed. "Hey, wait a second. You said at the start you knew I hadn't cheated. How?"
"What's my only source for such a declaration?"
"Lisa."
"And how could she be certain?"
"She...checked up on me?"
"Quite thoroughly, in fact. Rented spy gadgets, had friends tailing you, the whole nine yards."
"Damn! How did that happen? I never did anything suspicious because I never did anything. What did I do wrong?"
"Lisa reported that her attitude hardened when her suspicions began, and she began withholding sex for fear of an STD. Do you recall her doing that?"
"I sure do."
"Do you recall an event around the time that started?"
"Since you ask, it started the night after a neighborhood tailgate party."
"What do you guess might have happened at that party?"
"I don't know. We guys mostly hung out together, talking football and barbecue sauces. The gals mostly hung out as a group, too. I don't know what they talked about. I certainly didn't flirt with any of them, if that's what you're getting at."
"Still, think about those wives. What did they see when they noticed you?"
"I'd be startled to learn that they noticed me."
"We women notice more about men than you'd think. What was different about you?"
"I'd gotten into better shape?"
"Which means what to middle aged wives raised on Dear Abby?"
Lars got the point. "That I'm doing it for the 'Other Woman.' Because all guys are...what's the male synonym for 'skanks?'"
"Lamentably, Lisa listened to them, and then turned P.I. She neglected you for several weeks until the fact of your fidelity became established beyond doubt." Karen picked up her notebook and glanced through it. "Lisa told me, 'Freud said, 'Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.' And sometimes a guy getting in shape is just a guy getting in shape.'"
"I knew I was in the doghouse; I just didn't know why. I didn't fight it. Perversely, I thought, 'Be that way. I want to need you less anyway.'"
"When the truth was established, she tried to initiate sex that night. Do you remember it?"
"I wasn't really into it. Three weeks is a long time to stew on injustice."
"She said it was the first time you'd ever given her 'maintenance sex.'"
"Pardon?"
"Sex when your body doesn't need it, but the relationship does."
"I've received some of that, but I knew going in that Lisa's needs in the sex department are less than mine. She seldom turns me down when I initiate, at least that's how it used to be."
"Shortly after that evening, something happened that opened Lisa's eyes to your coping strategy. Can you remember what that might have been?"
"Nothing comes to mind."
"Do you remember doing something for yourself that you've never done before? Something that she witnessed that seemed absolutely inexplicable to Lisa. Something that yanked her thoughts in an entirely new direction?"
Lars brooded at bit, then ventured, "Me sewing?"
Karen nodded. "Sometimes the tiniest pebble starts an avalanche. She pretty much worked everything out from there."
"What did she do then?"
"She made an appointment with me. Your strategy has worked to this extent; she perceives her...what was it?...BATNA to be poor. She loves you, she wants to be with you all her life, and is frightened that you seem to be preparing yourself to leave her. She wonders whether you're just waiting for the kids to go to college."
Lars seemed chastened. "I never planned to leave at all. I just didn't want to get jerked around again."
"You've both jumped to conclusions; particularly, you both suspected the other of cheating on slender evidence. You've both withheld feelings that should have been shared. But neither of you has done anything unforgivable. Further, Lisa has learned a valuable lesson: that the husband/wife relationship has to be the primary one in the house. That suggests to me that with some frank communication you two can come out of this better than ever." Karen shrugged. "Lisa and I both thought that much needed conversation might be easier after she'd earned back a few wife points first."
"That sounds right," Lars asserted, "but I still have an issue. I'm still thinking she took some revenge sex when she thought I was cheating. Further, I think she gave her lover things she'd never given me, just to twist the knife. You said at the start that I was wrong about that, but no one changes that much, that fast when it comes to sex. Not on their own. It's like she was coached by an expert."
Karen blew on her fingernails and buffed them on her lapel in the classic metaphor for pride in a task well done. "Thanks!" she said brightly.
"You!" Lars looked for a moment like he'd been poleaxed. "You got her to suck and swallow?!"
"It's more than you know. I didn't just tell her how. I hypnotized her, and in deep trance had her practice the lesson with the Lars within her imagination. Then I implanted a post-hypnotic trigger she can fire off herself when she wants to bolster her attitude and her technique when it comes to oral sex. I actually gave her several other mental tools to use when she feels the need for them in the bedroom. I think that going forward, far fewer of your interludes with Lisa will be maintenance sex."
"Wow," Lars breathed, trying to wrap his head around this revelation.
"That her technique was so good it made you suspicious is evidence of how strong her rapport with me was. There's no chance she lied when I verified in trance she's never cheated on you...ever." Karen suddenly changed the serious mood. "But I don't think I need to suggest hypnotherapy for you. Lisa was quite complimentary about your oral sex skills."
A belly laugh burst out of Lars, carrying with it a lot of nervous tension. "You're right," he said at last, "we are badly in need of that long talk. But I think we will be better than before." Lars shrugged sheepishly. "And I sure am tired of my own cooking!"
- COMMENTS
I can't believe some of the things people are reading into this one. Sometimes a story is just a story; a well written, enjoyable story.
After thoroughly reading this story, I still can't figure how the Bozos commenting say she is cheating, or the husbands thinking his kids would not have been affected had he taken his "dream" job at a time when his kids are in their last couple of years of high school! Realistically my patents did that to me in my senior year of high school. I resented my father for years afterwards and went thru several rebellious years hating my dad for not letting me graduate with my friends. I was in my late 20's before we reconciled. Yes, the husband relented, but sulked about it, blaming his wife so she in turn responded accordingly. Everybody have a good hissy fit now!
His family are "takers". With everything that the wife and children have done (mainly) the wife. I would have planned an exit strategy and executed it with the children graduating high school.
Some of the negative comments here are absolutely insane. This is a story about two people who are not communicating and who almost lost their relationship because of it, that's it. Both of them clearly love each other, both of them clearly remained faithful to each other and both of them clearly want to have a better marriage. The insults thrown at either the female or male lead for their behavior here leads me to believe that a substantial contingent of readers here are either woefully inexperienced, or inadequate when it comes to personal and romantic relationships. It's scary.
That being said, I thought the story was cute. It tackled several serious issues with a lot of humor and creativity and was practically so wholesome that it took me a second to remember that a central plot point was an erotic blow job. Overall, I say well done to the author. 5/5
To nixrox this story had a cuck bitch for a husband you know not a man it would never end up in a divorce cause cuck bitches has no balls everyone with common sense knows the wife is really cheating on him trying to find a man but the problem there she will never find a man like that cause a man wont help a woman cheat on her husband
Yeah the wife definitely cheated and the counselor is kinda of doing her job and kinda of not she knows the wife cheated and not telling the husband that part is doing her job her lying to the husband and telling him something that's bullshit is not means she is part of the wife cheating on him she basically admitted that to the husband but he is too much of a cuck bitch to see the truth sorry but no wife that always stands against her husband the way this wife did is going to stay true to him cause the husband showed he is not a man so she's fucking other men trying to find a real man but a real man won't help a woman cheat on her husband another proof he was no man is that he lets his own kids walk all over him he needs to grow a pair of balls and leave his slut of a wife cause she is fucking around on him and his kids know she is but his kids don't respect him as a man cause they know he isn't a man so they are on the sluts side
Interesting. You've put that's been wife back, albeit with very weak sexual connection only. The rest of the Wife and Kids' damage to the husband's mental state has not changed. The damage from the lost job may not be repairable, but the so called counselor didn't do anything about that. So the kids are still in their selfish La La Land, even if Mom has come out of part of hers. And unfortunately that will probably follow them in their patterns will be established for the rest of their lives by the damage the mom has exhibited and influenced into them.
Brilliant insight into our legal system and the disaster it has become for relationships. But not for the marriage counsel industry I guess. Pretty invasive, most of the counselors are that way, they think they're smarter than everybody else, an Institutional or personal arrogance that creeps in, which allows them to intervene where they shouldn't and direct things that become damaging. The other part you leave out is they usually want to keep you coming back for more and more and more. Follow the money.
Lol how was this a RAAC, let alone a "marginal" one. There were suspicions, misunderstandings, hurt feelings, insecurities, and poor communication. But a RAAC? Just lolz.
3 stars for a marginal RAAC kind of story.
There were way too many places that this story could go off the rails, ending in divorce.
You keep playing with fire eventually, you will get burned.
I like reconciliation stories where there is no cheating involved but just neglect. I can identify with the man getting together with the wife again so much more if the man doesn't have to forgive cheating.
I can’t say enough about this series , it grabbed me by the balls in chapter 1 , squeezed them almost painfully in chapter 2 and let them and my prostrate do what comes naturally in chapter 3 . I wouldn’t have been dissatisfied if I had paid for this story . You have a great talent at storytelling! This is worth all the stars in the heavens ! Thank you .
Just another story about a man who sacrifices his happiness for an ungrateful wife and family
5 Stars. Nicely done...oh how just tiny seeds of doubt can rapidly become the trigger for disaster. Luck played a big part there....if the wife hadn't wised up and gone to cunselling who knows where the game would have ended.
Original and well written. Talking to each other would have saved a lot of grief - but it wouldn't have made much of a story.
LA
I liked the series, rather than cheat she went to a marriage counselor for help and he just got into shape thinking she was cheating. In the end they both found out no one had cheated. 5/5
Should have stopped at Chapter 1. He ends up getting a bit more sex from a hypnotized zombie but doesn't have the job he worked so hard for and is still low man on the totem pole at home. What a wonderful life he has to look forward to.
Others comments are as my thoughts,others diametrically opposed.
He lost and had a lot of pain. She had an ouchie. Hypnosis for sex? No!! Both parties need to be fully cognizant.
ehhhh. Poor Helen1899, Thinks that no one got hurt, no one got cheated on. Does she not realize that he got cheated out of a job that he had worked hard for? He lost, lost, lost. She, however maintained her stay-at-home status and gained absolute control of him, due to him being a good person. After everything is said and done, she was and still remains a bitch. Good story though. LP
Another few paragraphs of THEIR post therapist talks would have been icing on the cake.
In the end, his Wife and children still don't support his career. He should have left them in the house and moved himself to Dallas and found a small apartment.
Good story about a lack of communication will do to a marriage. In this case they just needed to communicate rather that become suspicious. Well done 5 stars
A denouement with the couple talking to each other may have been cliché, but would have been a good way to relieve tension after keeping the two of them separate for the entire narration. As it is, the end arrives quite abruptly. Very well-told story otherwise.
what a well written story. made me feel good about life. Its nice when no ones cheated.
Elenriel dug himself into a self confessed hole, and then dug himself out again.
This story started with a marriage at risk because of poor communication and turned into a fantasy story about counselors with a god complex. It never once puts the couple in the same spot and deals with them; instead the focus is on how great the counselling is. A few well placed "Socratic" questions and the wife is transformed. Throw in a bit of hypnosis to turn the wife into the cocksucker he always wanted and all that is left for the counselor to sell it to the husband in the wrap up.
As an exercise, the story works due to its relative originality in the LW section, so it gets credit for that. Making the counselor into the hero who gets the couple to see the reality of the situation, not to mention get over her gag reflex, seems a bit too convenient.
puts the wimp of a husband back into his feminized marriage. Men are so simple! Blow jobs fix everything. Just stupid and culturally toxic, but certainly "different"
I agree with the three comments previous to the last one. The wife and kids were both selfish and clueless. Let the three of them take over the responsibility of providing a place to live, food, clothing, cars and all the other stuff it takes to live a comfortable life. The previous comment talked about “love”. What love did they show him when they fought the move to Dallas so strenuously?
This story was excellent, one of the best ever on this site. A perfectly executed and thoughtful plot. A MOST BELEIVABLE PLOT. I could easily see this happening in real life. A very loving if low sexed wife not wanting to uproot her familiar life or that of her kids. A loving husband who has hurt feelings by being "forced" to turn down his dream job for the good of his family; but still throws a tantrum to demonstrate his hurt feelings. Then, a very good explanation of the following fallout! 5*'s
no dealing with the kids, who sure as hell have it coming. BS that they are good kids, if they talked shit about their own father. Ugh.
OTOH, very creative overall premise.
Let's see. Manipulative, coniving wife figures out her husband is pulling away due to what?? Yes. Her manipulative coniving ways.
How does she repond? Yep. She conives and manipulates him. With the help of a quack. And this is good how??
Leave the bitch. Leave her now.
But spit on her face on your way out the door.
i'v seen therapy stories.
this feels off.
she didn't clue the husband in on her hypno-therapy.
did the therapist abuse the woman? make the woman masturbate in front of her? did she abuse her client? was there cheating involved? we'll never know. it's almost like a drugging story. we the audience were never clued in the last chapter. it's not about the wife and husband much anymore, but the therapist. is she a predatory opportunist? we'll never know.
Too bad you have stopped writing. I would have enjoyed another case study from Karen's files and her innovative methods.
far were they? I'd just tell them I'd fly home every other weekend. Then every third weekend etc. The whole lot were selfish. They could either suck it up and move to me or not.
Who could have believe something like this could be possible in the LW section?
If I got a dollar every time I thought, after reading a story around here "COMMUNICATION. You should have talked to each other, you morons!" or "If only they went to a therapist to work on their marriage..."
Seriously, I would be able to buy this damn website.
Healthiest story I've seen in this section... yeah, probably forever. The blowjob in Chapter 2 was very appreciated, but it wasn't about that - always great to watch a man and his woman working hard to reconnect with each other.
Thanks for the great work, Elenriel.
Wunderbar!
Individually and together chapters 1,2,3 were well written and enjoyable. Proof that L.W. Stories don't have to include cheating to be entertaining. (Although it's kinda the point of the site...sex in all its dirty, twisted and complicated glory)
It also made me wish I could seek your councle for real. (Yes I need help too...I spend way too much time reading porn 😱)
As for those who feel he should have left her... I'm glad you feel that way because you have no business in being in a relationship and are doing your spouse a favor.
15 stars in all.
I have to give it four stars because of originality...interesting concept. As for those saying they would have divorced her, I'm guessing most of them already have if they gave up on a marriage that easily.
Piss poor ending. I'd of left, taking the job without them. They could stay there, in the "Family House", while I was away in Dallas...
I would of divorced her in a heart beat, or at the very least, packed my bags and left for parts unknown.
Original, thoughtful, and well-written. It's not often one finds a story in LW that isn't pretty much like all the others!
Thanks, ohio
I enjoyed the story, and realizing it is similar to my situation I wish my wife would see the import of talking or better yet, hearing my feelings.
Your plot was Very unusual. It fit right in with the 'wording' of the category in which you placed it, contrary to most in this catagory. Most are about unloving wives and husbands. These seem to be, well, a loving couple. 3 cheers and a well earned 5 * rating.
DHL
Congrats on a very good story. Four out of five. Maybe a 4.5. Again very well written dialogue. But this chapter seemed almost too tidy. The husband figured everything out with almost no guidance and doesn't seem upset at all that his wife suspected him of adultery.
On top of that he gave up his concern about her cheating very quickly. At some point one or both of them should get angry because the other one isn't communicating.
Having said all that I still really like the original plot concept. I hope there is more to come.
Cheers
Steve
Very nice chapters- creative, though not erotic. Very original. Could be some follow up exploiting the suggestive triggers, but it would take some darker impulses from the husband to do that. He's a pussycat, right??? Keep up the nice work.
So the family screws up his career but he and his dummy are now lovey dovey. Doesn't seem like an equal give and take. As he sits at his desk and realizes what he was forced to give up may have serious repercussions in years to come. Can you hear his wife complaining they don't have enough income with 3 kids in college? BULL----
Y'all are being really tough on both of them. She wasn't a poor wife, she just took her husband for granted. A mistake many people are guilty of! Well, after this, she's learned her lesson and will very likely be a great wife. Doesn't seem like a bad deal for him to keep her!
It didn't go anywhere! And he comes over as a wimp, which isn't how he started out. I think the "unneeded" angle needed (sorry) a bit more development.
And why should HIS position change?
According to him (and reality) his position sucks. He is not consulted in his own life regarding his career. His family took no notice of what they were sacrificing and what THEY were asking HIM to sacrifice so THEY could be happy.
Now, according to Christian Doctrine, there is no greater love than one who gives up one's life for another. So we are supposed to applaud this man for making this sacrifice. And it is a great thing he did. I applaud him fully.
But that doctrine is able to be turned around. What has his wife sacrificed for him? What does that say about her love? Maintenance sex! Spending something like 10% of their annual household budget on fucking PI's on her whim. What does that say about the kids? (again, a missing aspect) Though I still hear that quote from Gus Fringe in Breaking Bad "A real man takes care of his family, even if they hate him for it."
So...when he stayed highly emotionally engaged with his wife...and she didn't even notice he was getting in shape. She applauded not having to cook for him. She did not really notice a cooling in their sex life. SHE HAD TO HAVE FUCKING FRIENDS AND STRANGERS POINT OUT ALL THE CHANGES HER HUSBAND ENGAGED IN! She did not care about the relationship.
Javmor...bubbala! Coffee! Bring the cup to your nose and breath in deeply through it.
And her reaction? Siccing PIs on him. Because HE had to be wrong. HE had to be bad. Except that she tasted the ashes of bitterness in finding out he wasn't having an affair; he just didn't care about her any more.
He became a mirror. She saw herself and it was an ugly image indeed.
But having emotionally distanced himself from her, how has anything changed? At her whim (thanks American Legal System!) she can boot him out of the house on her whim and he will be left out in the cold. Why shouldn't he prepare for the climate change in advance? Because, and I say this again, before, she did not care about the relationship. She has a distressing lack of self awareness.
So...now he is cold and distant. He is independent and suddenly she has picked up her thumb and surprise surprise, he is no longer under it.
What is his 'new' reality? His wife is desperate to cook ANYTHING for him. She is blowing him and dressing up for him. She is WILDLY engaged in the relationship...because her finger is not on the button anymore.
Good for him! So...why should he reconnect with her again? So she can give him shitty service again when she feels comfortable? Maybe she needs to spend some time being UNcomfortable. Not cold enough to make her quit. But certainly reserved enough to make sure she pays some goddamned attention to the relationship.
Read the Married Man's Sex Life Primer. It is not God's own truth, but her husband had become a bedside table that she just unconsciously throws her purse on. She only notices it when it is missing. He needs to keep the furniture rearranged because this woman does not respond well to comfortable.
...not a wife.
Read all three parts and it's clear that this fictional character (wife) is extremely egocentric, bitter and insecure. To add she is also disrespectful and resentful towards her husband just because he dares to finally stand up for himself.
What kind of wife cuts her husband off because her 'friends' tell her some bullshit story, any person that really loves a spouse will immediately talk to each other openly about things like this rather than crash the whole marriage just because she's got self confidence issues. I mean seriously... The way this story is written all that this therapist does is shows how completely wrong it was for the man to marry that woman- irreconcilable differences- the end.
Now is the time that a therapist who is worth her weight to step in. Her questions are god for getting the ball rolling but momentum will stop and these two will be right back where they were. After they go backwards, the next stop is division of assets and signing the dotted line.
With her preference for "Socratic Method," what she needs to do is get them together, ask the right questions and get them to start listening to each others' answers. She can't explain them into resolving their issues.
Rhymes with Galendriel lol, sorry .
What a surprise for you ,Elenriel .You have more than 10 times the comments on this story , than everything else you have posted on the site . That's just how we roll in the LW category .
I really enjoy this very original plot you created . What you thought was a one chapter story ,is now on chapter three and really needs at least one more .
It looks like the story has gotten away from you . Especially with the Karen character . She is easy enough to overuse ,to tell the reader the story .
You should return to the couple . As they need to resolve two main issues . The first is the husband's ambition regarding his job . In all likelihood he will get one more good opportunity for advancement at his job . They should be on the same page when it occurs.The second is working to communicate better with each other . Their wants and desires. Their fears and hopes . Admittedly this one is more difficult and probably out of complete resolution within the story .
I can see what a challenge this story has been for you . Especially when I read the stories you previously posted . Very courageous and impressive . Please continue and good luck .
AMerryman
I've been following this story from the beginning, when you thought it would be wrapped up in one submission. I think it STILL needs a conclusion. Anyway, it get's us to thinking about different aspects of marriage. 5 *'s
....while initially intrigued, I was, in this submission, dismayed.
He saw himself as without recourse in the marriage. He could have sat down with his wife and told her he was unhappy with her lack of support, but what if her response had been, "if you're unhappy, leave?" He'd be painted into a corner where his choices would be to go and lose everything, or stay and be an acknowledged powerless pussy-whipped wimp. So he picked the course that seemed to him to be the best available, keeping his home and children and empowering himself by not depending on a wife he felt had shown him she could not be depended on for support when he needed it the most.
If you have a point to argue, you should do what Harry did and point it out. Just attacking for the sake of attacking is being a troll. When you do that, you point out your lower IQ, not mine.
Yes the wife's behavior started the whole thing, but that doesn't mean that it is only up to her to fix it. Marriage is about both people. Each person in it is responsible for their own actions. When your spouse hurts you, you address it. If each person tries this quid pro quo approach, then you end up with to unhappy people.
Yes I see things differently from you, but that is because when I get shit on, my first thought is "how do I avoid this again?" You can't change other people, but you can change yourself. I don't sit around and think about how this person is so wrong for doing this to me. I look at what actions I have done to add to this scenario. Then I avoid those actions in the future.
In this case, I would have approached her and gone to counseling about her rejection of my job. She started it, but he alone controls his reaction. There are two approaches to life. You can be right, or you can fix the problem. Me, I would much rather fix my problem than feel I have a right to react a certain way.
I don't think this is delusional.
Another point you made was about the blowjob, but I'm not sure what that point was. To me the blow job was a non factor. Her having to be hypnotized was another non factor. This is not their main problem. Their problem is that they don't communicate. Both are more concerned with being right than they are with fixing the issue. They both became suspicious of the other person and failed to approach each other. It isn't justified for one side and unjustified for the other. If you spend your entire marriage trying to assign blame then it is going to be miserable. Both people's approach should be to do what is best for the marriage.
Yes people take each other for granted. This was a case in which she did it to him. But something always wakes them up and makes then realize their mistake. Is that not what happened here? Needing to be right will have a person say "I don't forgive you because you shouldn't have done it in the first place". Fixing the situation will say, "You hurt me. Let's figure out a way to not let this happen again".
That's my approach to life.
His relationship with the kids hasn't changed, because his kids didn't really disappoint him. He had expected them to react negatively to the prospect of relocating because that's what kids do. It's his wife who he feels pulled the rug out from under him, because she made zero effort to back him up and help get the kids to see the bigger picture for the family. So he decided to depend on her less, not because he intends to leave her, but because depending on her less means less risk of future disappointment.
Idiot! HV was on point to identify your piss-poor comprehension of the plot & character development. Really Javmor79- are that retarded or IQ damaged?
a couple of points -- FIRST I agree with you that as you said " neither of them are talking to each other. Instead, they are talking to other people and taking it upon themselves to help their individual cause. "
But because they are doing the same thing you clearly view the husband 's actions/ behavior as equally culpable as the wife's. This is delusional. Of course given how most of your LW stories go ....I am not surprised you have this distorted view of the world. But you are just flat out wrong.
Yes I will agree that the husband s's reaction about his teenage kids was off. They are Kids and all teenagers around the world are self centered ...so good point
And yes it is true that No one can be an island and his reaction may not have been wise. But his reaction was 10000000% started/ triggered by the wife. Somehow you seem to think that because the husband reaction to how his wife and family handle the job promotion offer was unwise .... it means he was or is in the wrong as much as the wife. Sorry dude this is NOT really a communication issue
In fact your defense of the wife is delusional because you are not focusing on what the wife's actions MEAN
YES we all take our spouses for granted -- OCCASIONALLY. But that is the key word. Doing that all the time is NOT love. The wife's open admission of
" maintenance sex" strongly implies she had been taking her husband for granted for YEARS.
then amazingly you wrote this then seem to ignore it in the story!?
..." The impulse to go seek answers alone instead of together. Their first session should have been as a COUPLE. They should have first gone when he felt the urge to withdraw. The next opportunity to go as a couple was when she thought he was cheating, yet had no evidence to support her claims"
oh my god how do you not see this? the ONLY reason they did not go s a couple was because of the WIFE's actions and behavior!!!! .
" The fact that she had to be hypnotized to suck dick is irrelevant to me. " Again that is what I was REALLY talking about and you know it . In fact you do admit that " No amount of blowjobs or kinky sex is going to fix that issue."
I've been reading the comments from the three published chapters so far. Kind of interesting. There are the cut-and-dried marriage is dead and she's a *($*&*%^%,
the wait and see crowd and a couple more other groups. Marriage is not for the weak, faint-of-heart, or the rigid. Marriages end when a partner cannot see the other changing. It is not always good, or bad. When both parties can and do invest in each other, there is a chance for it to continue. Ask any honest married individual. They will all speak of rough spots where walking away was the preferred option -- no matter what the cost was. They will talk about taking each other for granted, or just being totally pissed at the other and not maintaining the marriage. I liked the 'maintenance sex'. I call it masterbating in a vagina. It's real, for both parties. Why does it get this way? Part of the human condition. We all fuck up some times.
In my extended family, this was true for some individuals as their spouses were incapable of recommitting. There have also been marriages that worked it out. It's fucking messy and requires much of the partners. In this story, they both, flawed individuals at best, appear to want to try? Let's trust the author to develop the story that is both believable
thanks!
maybe I will stay on the meds this time!
Although this chapter is really only needed to fix the problems created in the previous one because the counselor didn't immediately rush both of these people into couples counseling.
I think HarryInVa is right about this. The issue that needs to be resolved is not the couple's sex life. The issue that must be addressed is the husband's long term disappointment, bitterness and depression over how his family denied him an incredibly important life goal. This issue isn't anything that is going to be resolved through oral sex. It will require years of work for the husband to overcome the depths of despair that this sort of incident produces.
I think the portrayal of the husband in this chapter is unrealistic. A follow up chapter is required in which the therapist gets a clue and starts to work on the couple's real problem.
Okay, everybody knows what everybody else is doing. No body is cheating. Good. Four stars for this installment, a bit less than that for the series through Ch 3.
But now what? Hubby and wifey still have not directly communicated. What happens when the next promotion out of town comes up? How does that decision get made with all this BATNA shift taking place? How does the BATNA shift, perceptions about the BATNA shift, and the wife's new giving spirit impact the relationship in the mean time?
Not sure if you intend to end the story here or not, but if you do minus 1 star for "incomplete" work.
I have done exactly what is described here (except there was no councillor included). helped me a lot in getting a better mindset for dealing with a dominant wife.
Others have already alluded to it but what happens long term?
Both said they love each other and I think they will find a way to rekindle the love short term but what happens over time? He turned down a promotion for which he had been working 20 years and we all know that his trajectory is now dead in the company. When is the resentment going to kick in? His wife and kids got the status quo they wanted. Is the wife smart enough to realize that she is going to have to do an awful lot to make up for her earlier selfish behavior?
LOL It may be in the near future the high% of the married people will be the homosexual people only. (I agree the gay marriage........)
I read something future possibilty the 25% of the 45-50 years old people will be married 15-20 years later, the more people bachelor, bachelorette, divorced, widow or widower. .......Will the single state be the future for the next heterosexual generation?
We read the Loving Wives stories when the future is less and less married people!
I mentioned an interesting survay among the 25-30 years old male people what is their opinion about the marriage and why they avoid it?
The 3 first answers are very interesting and Loving Wives related.
1. These men are afraid of the bastard kids in family for the high level cheating. Interesting LW related opinion.
2. The 25-30 years old men opinion the married men have disadvantage in the job. Interesting.
3. The media from Hollywood to the Literotica show the husband role in negative method.
The cuckold stories the best examples..........
Next interesting thing. I read an interesting summary of a survay about the American 25-30 years old male generation they arrive into the life totally burned out to be unable any romantic emotion.
Hollywood tries one and two (very weak) steps to show something other and LITEROTICA also could step into that direction with an new Marriage Strife hub!
Harryin VA said all that needs to be said, He hit the nail right on the head.
The problem didn't start with sex. It was Lisa's actions after six months of Lars' new behavior that brought sex into play . Yet, the therapist's advice is then that some professional grade fellatio is the very first priority (rather than say, talking honestly with her husband). I imagine that if Lisa had gone back to her friends she would also have been advised to manipulate him with sex. Only they wouldn't have charged by the hour.
Do other people appreciate the irony of the Lars' reaction to his Lisa's swallowing? While the therapist had seemed to suggest that the jealousy strategy had large "disadvantages", their sex plan only worked because it accidently made him jealous.
By the way, I disagree with every commenter who feels that Lisa is a bad person. She is totally into her family and her home and has been selfish and lazy about her marriage. I've lived my life like her and I don't consider myself a bad person, just a very foolish one.
Neither of them are talking to each other. Instead, they are talking to other people and taking it upon themselves to help their individual cause. I disagree with Harry and a few others who feel that this is something more than simple miscommunication.
The husband is hurt by his family. So he starts to withdraw into himself. Take it from one who has tried this, no man can be an island to himself. It works for a while, but sooner or later you miss your family. You miss the love that you guys had. Most people are judging the love of the family by one event. He had a job, they didn't want him to take it. By this they assertain that no one loves or respects him. Most of us with families know that one snapshot on a bad day is never the entire picture. So to think that they didn't love him or care about him at all based on one event is judgemental. Kids are naturally selfish and narcissitic. The world revolves around them. They eventually grow out of that, but during this time in their lives that is how they are. That doesn't mean that they don't love their father. As for the wife, she is really a woman who took her husband for granted. Doesn't mean that she doesn't love him or shoud be jettisoned. After so many years of marriage, the couple tends to take each other for granted. That's life. Then, something wakes them up and makes them look at things from a different point of view. That is what happened here. Not unforgivable.
What is sad is the lack of communication. The impulse to go seek answers alone instead of together. Their first session should have been as a COUPLE. They should have first gone when he felt the urge to withdraw. The next opportunity to go as a couple was when she thought he was cheating, yet had no evidence to support her claims. The final time to go was when she finally saw the truth and realized what danger her marriage was in. Instead of fighting together, like husband and wife are supposed to do, these two internalize all of their crap and spy on each other.
The fact that she had to be hypnotized to suck dick is irrelevant to me. There are women who don't enjoy it. That doesn't make them selfish monsters. There are many men who don't enjoy eating pussy. The fact that she went out to get hypnotized to be able to do it shows commitment. She found a solution to give her husband what he wanted. She CHOSE to try to overcome her dislike and discomfort to please him. If she didn't care about him, she wouldn't have been in the counselor's office in the first place. She would just have divorced him and took half of everything, and recieved alimony.
This marriage is worth saving, but their lack of communiation and trust is going to kill them if they don't take care of it. No amount of blowjobs or kinky sex is going to fix that issue. No counselor is going to solve that problem for them. All of the other issues that they have going are symptoms of the problem, but not the problem itself. They can't simply address the symptoms and expect to fix the problem.
Cont'd ...
The loss of his dream job was glossed over. Kind of a big miss.
Part 4?
Good writing but if the wife didn't know or care that it was his dream job and torpedoed it .... Not sure if I'd want to keep her .....
Divorce when kids are gone at the latest. His dissatisfaction with her support will eat away at things.
There are two things I want to say about the story - FIRST as the story itself in terms of the author skill and how the story actually moves and develops SECOND about the plot and characters
Of the three chapters of the story so far I would have to say this is the best of the three. The conversation between the husband who wants some answers and the therapist who is willing to give them some information was well done. More over the husband's deduction about his wife-- that he finally figured out why he was withdrawing from the family and from her-- shows that this husband/ man actually has of fully functional brain and is quite intelligent. Again this is very well done by the author as we all know that in many of these LW stories the husband is portrayed as a intelligent successful person but usually comes across as a blithering idiot
That being said If I see one more comment about how this story is about communication problem between husband and wife- I am going to go outside and kick someone's dog. This story is NOT about a the lack of communication between the husband and wife.
People who make that sort of assertion are usually trying to show how both sides have contributed to a breakdown in the marital relations, which is often true. But in this story to the best my knowledge the husband did nothing wrong.
NOTHING.
He was offered a major promotion at work because of his professional work abilities and the wife and kids teamed up to SHIT all over him. The reaction by the wife and the kids might be justified if the husband wants to move the entire family across country based on a whim or a possible job or what have you. But as the primary breadwinner and provider his ideas and views or not even considered.
This told husband something VERY important about the nature of his relationship with his wife and as the father and head of household. Specifically it told him that he is not the head of household and that his opinions and values are absolutely meaningless meaningless. In other words he is essentially trapped by the wife and kids
His course of action to withdraw from the family and wife and kids is the only logical alternative and rational course of action. It may not be the best thing for the marriage / family but his reaction ONLY came about because of what was done and said to him. He cannot be held at fault here.
But what makes matters even worse is how the wife reacted to what appear to be a developing crisis of the marriage. When she saw significant changes in the husband's behavior and attitudes she had several ways to react. The fact that she reacted with suspicion and engaged in manipulation and deceit is why this marriage cannot survive.
There is 2ndary issue here which is appears to be over looked by most people/ readers. Clearly the primary issue or catalyst which started everything was the rejection by the wife and the family of the important job promotion. But equally important is how the wife reacted to the crisis in the marriage that she saw developing with her husband.
Nothing speaks louder about WHO she is... what she thinks and her values as a person and as a wife than the way she reacted to this crisis.
The maintenance sex issue is VERY serious
There is nothing desirable or sexy or appealing with regard to HOW she reacted to this and the methods she used. I have my doubts as to whether not this aspect of the story is going to be solved or talked about in great detail.
I am afraid that the author is going to spend most of time talking about the Job Promotion issues with little emphasis on the wife's character and integrity and how she handled the crisis
there is no point in staying married or trying to save it
but it was a pretty anti-climatic story and i know it was your first submission but if you do more i would recommend not submitting till each chapter you atleast have an outline prepared because i could only vaguely remember the last chapter
....in terms of miscommunication or the lack of ability to communicate. That can cause enormous stress in a relationship.
It's really not a LW story.
"Oh, Doctor, I still love him!" Crap!! Her concern was about him getting away from her - not about his feeling of satisfaction with his life. If he had gone to a male therapist, he would have gotten advice like "You have to make a decision. Either suck it up and let yourself be manipulated and used or change the mood around yourself. You worked like crazy to achieve your goal of promotion and more responsibility and she crapped all over the idea because it was inconvenient for her and the kids. What is SHE going to do when the kids are gone? She doesn't trust you - she'll be out the door with half the goodies saying 'Ta Ta - thanks for all this.'"
This marriage IS toast. He needs to take the legal punishment now - it isn't going to get easier for him if he waits.
Dear Elenriel,
If you decide to keep this story going, perhaps the counsellor should change method from Socratic to Cognitive.
One of the techniques used by cognitive therapists is to give clients 'homework'; tasks which require the clients to practice new behaviours. A few such tasks would get this couple working on the communication deficit discussed in an earlier comment by Javmor and could provide an interesting twist to your story.
L
There is not conflict, so there is no story.
Him: "I want my wife to love me more."
Her: "Your wife wants to love you more."
Um..
And there are something like 3.5 billion women out there. Probably 2 billion of them know how to suck a cock and are WILLING to suck a cock without hypnosis. Because they love their partners. Or they feel it is a necessary sacrifice. Or they just want them to shut up about it. But they feel SOMETHING and are sacrificing SOMETHING without external interference (save for pimps, for example)
But the biggest plot hole in the story for me is this: Essentially everyone knows about patient client privilege. This was, on it's face, a wasted trip. He should not even have made it. And the idea that his wife ANTICIPATED his discovering her AND being stupid enough to approach her for answers...well...let's just say my thoughts go in different (male) directions.
"So...counselor. My wife is so uninvolved in my life that she can't think of any way to be more loving on her own, and she is paying you to help her disassociate so she can stand to have sex with me. Like...quitting smoking. Except I am the cigarette she is forcing herself to smoke with hypnotism. And honestly...sounds like you are both jerking me around. She can't tell me the truth or try anything on her own...and here you are to plead her case for her in the odd event I ever discover you. So, I have to wonder how honest you are being with me. She thinks a few whore tricks are going to make me 'important'. Sounds like she just wants to mollify me so I don't kick up a fuss. Six thousand dollars huh? That would just about cover that fishing boat I was told we couldn't afford. I see how this is working..."
I mean, how honest has this woman been thus far?
The story isn't perfect, it isn't ment to be, it is a story. The characters are not perfect but I can find them believeable enough for a story. But the concept of finding ORIGINAL THOUGHT in a LW story has me doing a happy dance. I rated this story 5's in every chapter, and that has never happened before. Since you don't know me you do not know what high praise that is. I must stop now a read all of you other stories. Thank you so much for your efforts.
anonymous jerry
dude if you think this marriage is still viable you are an idiot .
His wife and HER therapist are playing him. Leading him along the trail they want him to follow. Making him believe. His wife has spent her entire life controlling and manipulating him. She's followed the bitch wife playbook. Lead him along, give him a little, unemotional sex as a reward for doing her bidding and then moving him down the garden path. When he wants to do something for himself, something that he's worked his whole life towards (the promotion) she sandbags him with their kids and just tells him "no". You seem to think that after spending all that money on a PI and spending all her time in another attempt to control his behavior, that he's just going to sit down, have a "long talk" with her and all is going to be forgiven and that everything will be alright. Better for him to take the promotion and leave his manipulative wife and self centered kids at home. Better to support them in place, move himself to a small apartment, eat his own cooking and be HAPPY with his life than to stay under the control of a shrew and her therapist. Badly conceived, poorly told and both implausible and unbelievable even for fiction (Hypnotize her to enjoy oral sex and swallowing? That was funny shit! If she had that talent, she'd be a billionaire.). Not a good story. And unfinished to boot! 1 star.
chapter. I still find the wife to be a somewhat unsatisfactory individual over all. She still doesn't feel the need to "talk" to her husband choosing in fact to have him still try to "sus" out the motivation and her attempts to come to grips with her idea of their marriage. Causing him to have to peruse the credit card bills to find out where the money is going is not conducive to any kind of reconciliation. He is still left with the fact that she doesn't think enough of him to even tell him about her efforts to get back in his good graces. Is this just another form of manipulation and "mind control" on her part? Appears to be and she now has the best assistant money can buy, her own pet therapist. And unless that therapist furnished a dick for her to practice sucking she could "know" all of the techniques in the world and still, in practice, be clumsy in her application of that knowledge. I do like the fact that you allowed the therapist to be open and honest with him, as much as they can, and talk about his wife's sessions. Wifey has confided in two people instead of her husband about her thoughts and desires for him, therapist and co-conspirator from when he first walked into the house.
Your writing is top shelf and the flow is good. I think you know where you want to go with the story and you are just squeezing out the clues a bit at a time. Hubby is already lower than whale shit, in his mind, in the hierarchy of his marriage and more manipulation is just going to dig him in deeper. If the wife doesn't back off on her need to force him into her way of thinking you might as well just "cuck" him now or give him a chance to take another promotion in another city, this time by himself. The definition of not having a clue is doing the same thing, over and over, and expecting a different result each time.