All Comments on 'Boyfriend Betrayal'
by creativeboyinspring
- 9 Comments
Wow... You just kick-started my imagination. This was nice and dark. My turn to write one. Thank you.
Why do you think the reader puts themselves in the role of the cuck? If that is how you see it, you might want to look at yourself and be honest. Personally I identify with the strong personality, maybe not a rapist, because they are dealing with their own insecurities, but a powerful character is a good read, regardless of hero or villain role.
The author is a master of the dark desires trope. The narriator, usually a woman, discovering the erotic side of being raped, always with a hook to keep each story unique. However, the hook doesn't always land. In this case I feel like the story was far too long for the hook of the cowardly boyfriend. Once the boyfriend grabs his girlfriend, I already knew how the rest of the story would go. And I upon reading, was not suprised. I think as a much shorter story it would have worked better.
If the author felt need to extend the run time, he could have had the Stranger beat up the boyfriend, not super brutal but toying with him. This way the girl, and thus the audience can see just how horribly outmatched they are.
Still, I think the hook of the traitorous boyfriend was goid. I just feel it would have been more effective in a shorter story
I really liked it but could have done with some sort of epilogue to find out what happened to Funbags after her ordeal, and Chuck too, of course.
Am interesting twist would have been for the girlfriend to offer herself to the rapist in exchange for helping him rape the pussy boyfriend.
There was an incident in Germany a few years ago when a young student couple were camping alone.
They were attacked by a black refugee who threatened them with a knife. He forced the young man to go into the tent and his girlfriend was then raped outside the tent.
The friend was so frightened that he did not act, but listened to his girlfriend being raped without doing anything.
Later there was a discussion in the country as to whether the friend was a coward or whether he had acted correctly to prevent worse.