All Comments on 'A Smoke Signature'

Firstly, welcome to Lit!

I liked this. Your poem is poignant and quite touching, the only suggestion that I would offer is regarding structure, I think it would benefit from being structured into stanzas, would help its rythmn.

Keep up the good work

cloud winded storm sky blown

as fresh glass skin cools its temper

all asides aside I cannot find my breathe

cut as they are on sharp edges

of the mouth of your voice

shaped as a vase to carry a world

we hold to light and see it thorugh

all our odd shapes bend flex or bow

held in leaded vessels emotions flow

how can we see - or even start

or truely know each other's heart

yet your words race mine

as passing reflections in our eyes

of overhead overheard thunder heads

made all the more dangerous now

as you are outstanding in your field

ps - welcome to lit, stay awhile.

Had to check that bio

Phraseology seems sort of strange

Australia

Ahhh, now it all makes perfect sense.

Nicely done!

Someone who's a friend with an awesome responsibility ~ through thick and thin you'll still say ~ you are my friend.