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An Afternoon of Sometimes

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74 words
4.79
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A woman closes a door.
You can’t see
what’s behind it, maybe
a room or an ocean
of chaos, pages, leaves
torn from books thrown.
A woman

closes
a door and opens
a window. The Sun shines,
leaves have collided green
whispers the afternoon
has passed
a woman

closes a book, distant
traffic nearly
tells the time she hears
and looks down to the ticking
leaves the room,
a woman

closes a door.

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  • COMMENTS
12 Comments
ishtatishtatover 4 years ago
More than twice

I had never read this before so I did so - several times. Mysterious and beautifully composed

MyZenTrailMyZenTrailover 13 years ago
Literary Art

diversity tickles the muse

UnderYourSpellUnderYourSpellover 13 years ago
~

I hope you don't mind, but I think you will understand, I had to go away from this for a while. Think things over see how much I liked it and it has drawn me back to read anew and appreciate just how good it is

SweetOblivionSweetOblivionover 13 years ago
So cleverly structured

and beautifully delivered. S.O.

GuiltyPleasureGuiltyPleasureover 13 years ago
interesting.....

......new direction for your poems. As others have said, it has an air of mystery, intrigue. It reminds me of an Escher drawing.

Tess

LiarLiarover 13 years ago
And life

rolls on

and on

A peculiar form and a narrative chasing it's own tale. I sense a mystery here, like the poem is - literally - circling around something big, but refusing to quite go there. Got me intrigued, to say the least.

vrosej10vrosej10over 13 years ago
Mysterious

I'm not sure I quite get it but this is how this one should be I think. Nifty use of enjambment. Getting a recommend.

KobaKobaover 13 years ago

A wonderful piece. Left me with an eerie feeling. Great opening!

twelveoonetwelveooneover 13 years ago
*

probably someone lurking with a five.

which is what you got, structured better for short line free verse. You been readind HD?

Esperanza_HidalgoEsperanza_Hidalgoover 13 years ago
What is this form?

it is mesmerizing in construction The pace with the repeating line attracts you back with curiosity, like a hypnotist with a watch.

fridayamfridayamover 13 years ago
Fabulous, mysterious

seemingly domestic and yet spine-tingling in it's implications.

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